My 10 Month Old Still Wakes up Wanting a Midnight Bottle!

Updated on March 19, 2008
M.B. asks from Castaic, CA
83 answers

I'm a fist time mom with a 10 month old beautiful baby girl. Unfortunatly, she still wakes up between 12:00-1:00 am for a bottle.(her last bottle is between 7:00pm and 8:00pm) I have tried putting her back down between 2-3 times before I give in to a bottle. She is also a terrible sleeper. She usually wakes up a few times a night (other then the feeding time). Lately it has been better and she has only been waking up when she is hungry. Which is a wonderful change. She sleeps all night in her crib except when she wakes up in the morning around 5:00 am. I just can't see waking up that early, so I bring her in my bed and we sleep a few more nesessary hours.
Just the other night, she slept from 8:00 pm to 2:30 am. I was thrilled! So I warmed up a bottle for her thinking she was hungry, but to my surprise, she sucked on the bottle for a few minutes and then refused it. I tried a few times to put it back in her mouth, but she pushed it out every time. So, I put her pacifier back in her mouth and placed her back in the crib. She slept until 5:30 am. Of course, I feed her at that time and she sucked a 7 ounce bottle down, and then we went back to sleep in my bed. I was hoping she was going to continue this path, but last night she woke up at 1:00am wanting a bottle (I put her back down 3 times to make sure she was really hungry)
I know if I just keep putting her back down and extend the time where I give her a bottle it will eventually get to the point where whe won't want one till earlier in the morning. But, does any one have any other suggestions? I just can't stand the thought of just not feeding her when I know she is hungry. It's not the worst thing in the world I know.
I am aware that at 10 months, she is supposed to be sleeping through the night.
Thanks for your thoughts!

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone! I am overwhelmed with all of the wonderful advice from my fellow mommies.
What I have decided to do is give her a bottle when she wakes up, but instead of her normal 6 ounces, I have cut back to 4 ounces. For the last 4 days, I have given her the bottle, she has only drank half of it.(to my surprise)So, I will continue lowering the amount in the bottle until she only drinks a little of it and then I will not offer her a bottle at all. I'll let her decide when she no longer wants a night time feeding. I feel like she is a growing baby and may need the extra calories. She is in the 95th % in height, so she is extra long for her age, and she is not overweight. As far as making sure she has enough food in her belly to get her through the night, I give her a bottle shortly before bedtime. She has stomach issues, so I don't give her solid foods before bed, only at dinner time. And even then I don't give her anything that might upset her stomach. She can get extreamly gassy, and that just wakes her up during the night.
So, thank you again for all your wonderful advice. If you would like to stay in contact with me and think we may have a lot in common, please shoot me an email. We are open for playdates!
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A.S.

answers from Honolulu on

I have a great book for you- it is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. It is wonderful! It is not really a sleep training book (it does discuss the different methods though) But it is definitely helpful and worth picking up. You don't need to read the whole thing, it is organized so that you just need to read what you can for a particular problem or stage. One suggestion that it makes that works for us is that believe it or not, an earlier bedtime helps them sleep later, and that the more they sleep, the more they sleep. The less they sleep, the more wakeful they will be, and the more restless thier sleep will be. good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Las Vegas on

Once my Twins were a year old I deciced that there was no reason for them to be waking up at night. So I at this point knew that it was okay for them to have water. When they would wake up in the middle of the night I would get them a bottle of warm water and they would go back to sleep. It took baby "A" one night of this and it took baby "B" 2-3 nights of this this is what seemed to work for me. Also not all babies sleep through the night at the same time. My friend told me that it wasn't until she stopped breast feeding her baby that he slept through the night and he was 2 years old. Also have you tried giving her rice or oatmeal cereal before bed this usually sticks to the ribs better.

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G.H.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

There is a great book called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. It talks about a child's sleep cycles, the importance of napping and age specific sleep issues. I started implementing his suggestions for my 3 month old and it worked like a charm...I hope you'll have the same luck!

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K.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I recommend Dr. Ferber's book on sleeping. It deals with getting your baby to get rid of the nightly feedings and teaching them to sleep through the night. It's hard a first, but after 3 nights, I had a sleeping baby! and has been ever since. I did it at about 8 months.

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear M.,
You will get tons of advice on this, some good and some I don't agree with frankly. There are ways to assert your authority without ignoring her cries I believe. My 2 cents is this: Babies are learning whether or not their communication is valuable to us or not. When they communicate their needs, i.e., crying because they are hungry, scared, lonely, etc., and we ignore them, what kind of message does it send? They are not valued, their opinions don't matter, etc. They may decide to stop communicating, i.e., stop crying, which parents interpret as then, being "good babies." Are they good, or have they just given up? I refuse to let my son "cry it out" at this young age. He wouldn't understand that I'm trying to train him to sleep through the night, only that he's hurting and I don't seem to care. God gave you maternal instincts. Continue to respond to her and you will find she will desire to share things in the future with you that not all mothers have the privilege of learning. I figure, I'll listen to them now, and they'll listen to me later, but I have to first earn the right by responding to them. My first nursed at night until age 2, my second can usually get a 6-7 hour stretch here at 4 months. I don't think I needed to let my 2 year nurse that long at night, but frankly, it bought me more sleep so he'd sleep in longer, so that just worked well for my sanity. If you are not getting good rest, I'd recommend "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, because, surely if you are going crazy, something needs to change. But there are gentler ways of doing it than some may suggest. Your baby is not trying to manipulate you, she just has needs and is learning whether this is a world she can trust or not. This time will soon pass, sooner than you will want it to frankly!
Good luck, M.,
J.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Up to my son's fourth month, i was really adamant about not using a pacifier. So started to self pacify and sucked on his thumb. He'd wake up in the middle of the night and find his thumb, suck on it for a few minutes, and then fall back asleep.

Now that I returned to work, I've relied on the pacifier to keep him busy so I can do things around the house. He's now 8 months old and doesn't know that his thumb is there anymore. He wakes up in the middle of the night looking for his pacifier.

He also wakes up around 2 am. At first, I thougth it was because he's hungry, but I've come to realize that he just wants his pacifier.

If you are ok with giving your daughter a pacifier, try giving that to her first. If she is still crying, she's probably hungry. I don't answer to my son's cries right away. I delay it by 10 minutes or so every time. He now doesn't wake up until 6 am.

Good luck!
___________________________________________________________
Keep a log of your baby's growth and development and win $10. http://gagazine.com/join

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A.T.

answers from San Diego on

First of all, I'm really sorry you're having sleeping issues! I know how frustrating that is. My daughter kept waking at night until she was 3 years old! I wasn't consistent with my attempts at sleep training, so the problem never really resolved until she was older. With my son, who is 3 months old, I am doing things differently to hopefully avoid that problem. There are a few things you can do...do you put her down awake and let her fall asleep on her own? That is an important skill for babies to learn if you want them to be able to soothe themselves back to sleep in the middle of the night. Also, you can start by delaying the time you go into her room at night when she wakes. One night wait 3 minutes, then 5...and so on. You can also decrease the amount in the bottle each night until there is very little to eat. There are so many ways to approach this problem depending on what you're comfortable with. I recommend the books A Mother's Circle and Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. They are both wonderful in helping parents with sleeping issues. Best of luck and hopefully you and your baby will get some good sleep soon!

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G.H.

answers from Reno on

My little girl did the same thing and I was so confused when people were telling me their 10 month old children were sleeping from 8pm to 8am. I tried a hint I read in Parents magazine and it completely worked. My daughter continues to sleep from 8pm to 8-9am every day from 10 months to now and she is 3 1/2 years old.

First get it in your head, your child is not hungry they are conditioned and we do it to them. I think you'll find a lot of documentation that a 10 month old should sleep through the night and is really not hungry. The first night you wait 1 minute before going into your childs room. You don't pick your child up just rub their back, say over and over again its ok mama's here. Something that you don't mind repeating. The next night wait 3 minutes before you go in and so on. It should only take about 5 days but and then your child will know in the middle of the night they are not going to get "picked up" or "fed". There is no reason to get up then right? Well, then my daughter started to wake up at 5am, suck down a bottle and sleep until 8am. I read another article that suggested a bottle of room temperature water which is safe for children this age. The first 5am I did this she sucked it down and went to sleep, the second day she kind of fussed but drank it. The third day and until today she slept until 8am. GOOD LUCK and remember consistency is key if you make a commitment to change and follow some guidelines without waffling it will work!

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H.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Ok, let me just tell you what i was told when my kid didn't sleep...and he didn't sleep thru the night til he was 3!!!!!! you're a stay at home mom with 1 baby! you are very blessed. you will never ever get these moments back. you can sleep long hours when you're old ; ) enjoy every second (even at midnight) with that baby! if she's hungry...feed her. if she just wants mommy's touch, touch her! you'll be so used to it, long after she sleeps thru the night, you'll still be waking up!!! don't stress on it. she might even be growing and need more food right now!!! it's hard to hear, but enjoying her adorable little face needing you...it won't be long til she doesn't anymore!!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My heart goes out to you. Please remember...There is no rule as to when babies "have to" sleep through the night. Remember, "sleeping through the night" means, sleeping at least 6 hours straight. This is according to baby standards, not "adult" definitions of sleeping through the night. Even adults wake up during the night too, right? Sleep patterns CHANGE as the baby develops and or hits growth spurts etc. Sleep is not always a static thing for a baby. They grow and change so much.
Bear in mind, LOTS of babies do not exactly sleep through the night... they will wake up. Sometimes there is no reason for it that we can see, sometimes it's just their developmental phases, cognitive development, teething, gas, level of awareness, separation anxiety, "night terrors" etc.
Bear in mind as well, that you can help a baby to self-soothe... so they learn to go back to sleep on their own. But every baby has their own temperament and personality. A technique that works for one baby, make not work for another.
My 2 children have drastically different sleep routines.
I"m sure you've heard of the crying it out method, etc. There are so many different approaches. You just have to try and see what is best for you and baby.
Sometimes, not swooping in right away just because they wake up is good... then they can learn to fall back asleep by themselves. Picking them up the second they make a sound kind of deprives them of the opportunity to fall back asleep. If the baby wakes up, wait... then see if she goes back to sleep. That's what I do... and often times my son will go back to sleep on his own. I observe and "listen" to the pitch of his cry or his mood at the moment... and I can tell if he will go back to sleep or not. Sometimes they do rouse from sleep, but only for a moment, and they may go back to sleep by themselves. Sometimes my boy will even be sitting up in the crib and making sounds to himself, but I know when he does this he will and can get himself back to sleep, and he does. I do not swoop in or let him see me when he "awakes"... I just wait and listen. Then in a minute or so, he is sound asleep again.
Bear in mind, that sometimes that baby has it's own sleep pattern, and if she gets up once during the night, then well, that's not so bad. You are lucky! If she is hungry, then sure you need to feed her, she's a baby. But make sure she is getting enough intake... during the daytime too. Some people "wean" off the bottles at night... using water in a sippy cup or bottle. But this is a personal decision, and you may want to wait until she's older. My 2nd baby is a big eater... and he still sometimes guzzles a bottle during the night too... but over the months, it has decreased, naturally, as he has gotten older, and he sleeps through the night the majority of the time now, that he is 18 months old now.
Well I really don't have a concrete answer for you.. just some personal experience. Your baby waking up is NOT unusual. Babies do not automatically sleep through the night at a given age. My girl didn't sleep through the night until she was 3 years old as well. Sure, we tried every method under the sun.
Good luck,
~Susan
www.cafepress.com/littlegoogoo

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

Hi M.,

I'm a mother of 2 boys and 1 girl, now 9, 6 and 4. Each one of them had different sleeping patterns. My first woke up every two hours until he was almost two! I tried everything to get him to sleep better, as I heard so many conflicting ideas and supposed remedies, but finally decided to just go with it and just take each wake-up at a time. I comforted him and stayed in tune with his needs. He finally ended up sleeping through the night as we all do. My second boy slept quite well, only waking for feedings a few times a night and finally sleeping through the night at around 18 months. My daughter was right in between them, waking up any where from once to five times a night, sometimes hungry and sometimes just needing to be close and comforted by me. She too, ended up sleeping through the night. I found that once I stopped worrying about how they "should" be sleeping and just relaxed, it really helped. I understand how hard it is to be sleep deprived, but it is just antoher thing we mothers have to endure! I do feel for you though! All three of my kids slept in bed with us off and on, and they still like to! My daughter still comes into our bed every morning at about 5. I love every second of it, as I know how quickly they grow up and soon won't have any interest in doing this.
Happy parenting!
M. S.

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C.S.

answers from San Diego on

Greetings M., I remember what that problem was like.
Our Pediatrician told me to put baby cereal in the bottle.
You will have to open up the nipple a little bit--the cereal
makes for a thicker substance--it will "stick to the ribs"!
It makes for a happier tummy and everyone can get the much
needed rest!!! It worked for me!
Good luck & good nights sleep!!
C. S.

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N.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I really have no advice, I just wanted to let you know that I am going thru the same thing with my baby girl and she is more than a year olser than your 10 month old I just give her a bottle and she is fine maybe try putting the rice cereal in her bottle that is what the daughter suggested to me. Good luck!

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N.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

Your baby sounds normal. Babies need the comfort of their parents' presence in the night; it is our culture that expects it to be "normal" for a 10 month old to sleep all night alone, not a human normal. When you are there for your daughter, she is learning she can trust you to meets her needs. This lays a foundation for her to turn to you for help as she gets older, knowing you can be counted on to be there for her.

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C.S.

answers from San Diego on

M.,
Every baby is different. Parents sometimes fail to recognize the unique and blessed diversity of each child when they get incorrect advice such as, "at 10 months old, she is supposed to be sleeping through the night." I don't know why someone decided that they're SUPPOSE TO when we all know a handful of moms who don't have children who fit this description.
All of us long for a good night's sleep when we have very young children. This doesn't mean that we should sacrifice our child's well-being and health for our needs. It is challenging to raise a child when other's are telling you that 'they should be doing this or that' by a certain age.
I would consider two things, your goals and her needs. These should never be in competition with one another. Your goal is to sleep through the night. Her need is to satiate her hunger. Somebody has to make a sacrifice in this tug-of-war and I think we both know that we, as mothers, are the ones to make the sacrifice, not the child. Your goal to get her to sleep through the night isn't a bad goal; it's just maybe too early for YOUR daughter.
Children at this age are in a constant state of growth and with that growth comes additional changes in eating. Learn to flex with these growth spurts (huge growth spurts at this time!) and adjust your habits to nourish and care for your daughter. I firmly believe that a schedule for feeding; sleep; etc. should be recognized and developed during this period of their life but should also be flexible to their changing and increased growth and activities. IOW, try to create a routine, but don't set it in stone, because next month, they may be walking and need more food again or sleep.
You're little girl isn't imperfect because she doesn't sleep through the night yet. Be your own mom to your children, not someone else mom or expectations. Every mother has different children and so every mother will be a unique and different mother to their children. Relax and enjoy this special family that will have your own unique way of doing things.
It's okay to make sacrifices for your daughter - this is called 'a mother's love.'
Blessings,
C.
Mother of 3 adult girls, one 9 yr. boy, one 3 yr. girl

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Oh my gosh! Thank God that I'm not alone here! My daughter just turned one and we're in the same situation that you are. We've had a handful of nights where she has slept thru the night, but more often than not, she gets up once a night to eat. She's also a little underweight so I do give in and feed her. It's hard to put her back to bed when I hear her tummy growling. I wish that I had some words of wisdom, but I'm just as lost as you!

Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi there - First of all, don't feel guilty...she is waking up out of habit not hunger. Second of all, only in books and "perfect" children sleep through the night before 1. I say you rock her back to sleep instead of giving her a bottle, and gradually start putting back in her crib before she is fully asleep. I don't beleive in letting them cry back to sleep and from experience if you continue to put her in bed with you...you'll create another habit that will be hard to break ;)

Our baby didn't sleep through the night until she was about 18mos and it was suddenly when she was ready and willing.

Enjoy her, they grow up too quickly!

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L.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi Its okay to give a bottle at night but not during the day, I took my bottles away when he was ready He was ready to get off. Offer her a sippy cup or a cupy a keep telling her no bottle yeckey. you are a big girl now. good luck.
I hopes thes helps you.
please stay-n- touch e-mail is ____@____.com
I'm a 39year old. mom of 2 years old boy & a 4 year old girl.again Good luck L.

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M.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi M., I read a book called BabyWise, and it was the best thing I ever did. My 10 week old sleeps from 9:45 pm-7:45 am so far. It didn't happen overnight of course, but it has been pretty consistent. For your sanity I really reccomend checking it out.
I would try putting her to bed a little later and waking her up a little earlier than 1am...moving the times closer together until the late night feeding is eliminated. Maybe 15 minutes after 8 and 15 minutes before 1, and so on each day.
As for the waking up at 5 am, if you let it continue now, it will be routine for good. You should let her cry herslef back to sleep. This is terribly hard, I know...especially if you have other siblings. BUT maybe try it on a weekend when no one has to get up early. She may cry 5 minutes, or maybe 45 minutes. But keep in mind, she has the ability at this age to go 12 hours at night, so she isn't starving. She's not hurt, and she's not going to hold a grudge against you because you let her cry, so REALLY try to let her go back to sleep. A new routine usually takes 2-4 days to implement, so stick with it, you'll be glad you did.

I also wanted to respond to the mothers who don't believe in letting their baby cry themsleves to sleep...this develops bad sleeping habits. They don't learn to comfort themselves, so they have to get comfort from somewhere or someone else. So if they do wake in the middle of the night, they can't get themselves back to sleep. This really stinks when you get a sitter or let the grandparents watch them:(

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

M., she is still waking up, because that is the pattern you have allowed, knows you will go in there, and that she will get a bottle, at 10 months old I would get her off the bottle and only use a cup. Try putting a cup of water in the corner of her crib, so when she wakes, as long as you have a night light in her room she will see the cup and hopefuly she will tak a drink and go back to sleep, the hard part, is you need to restrain yourself from going in her room, once you break that pattern you can create a healthier pattern that will cause her to sleep through the night, every night, I'm a mom of three, who were sleeping through the night by the time they were 6 weeks old. J.

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi. I've been in the same boat twice!! If you're giving her formula, try watering it down a little more each night. She'll gradually be taking in less calories and will give it up. Might take a few nights.

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L.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,
You sure got a huge response to your request. I have three kids ages 12, 10, and 2. The first two had no problems sleeping through the night at 6-8 months, they actually did it on their own. However my 2 year old, is still waking up at night. It has been quite difficult and frustrating, specially for her, since nobody seems to know what's wrong with her. I expressed my frustration with many people and all I got was "let her cry it out." Most of the advices you got I have tried, however every child is different. After a lot of research I thought my daughter was having night terrors, so we let her cry it out until she would go back to sleep or would ask for the bottle. Night terrors are different because kids cry but don't actually want you to hold them or feed them. My daughter's pediatrician recommended to just let her cry it out and never to give her the bottle. For us that didn't work because my daughter's frustration would only grow bigger, to the point that she would be covered in sweat and would begin screaming. I just couldn't take it, every single cell in my body screams at me to go and comfort her, and I do comfort her. Babies are not all the same nor do they have the same needs. I recommend you take some of the advices you feel comfortable with and try them, however if you child resist just go a little slower, at the end both of you will be happier. Also try putting her to bed while she is still awake with a favorite blanket or toy and give her less milk every night. Eventually it will get better, believe me I know you need your sleep but your baby might need your comfort more.
I'm going to try giving my little girl some water instead of milk, because I'm concern about cavities. She sleeps better now, she doesn't get those horrible episodes anymore, she still wakes up 1-2 times a night, since she is more verbal now, I wait for her to tell me what she wants. Sometimes she'll go back to sleep without a bottle. But one thing for sure, she knows I'm there for her when she needs me. Like many moms mentioned they do grow up very fast and it won't last forever. We definitely don't want to harbor a bad habit and should try anything to avoid them because sleep is very important for brain development.
Enjoy her every minute, ten years from now, you'll miss cuddling with her more than your precious sleep. I think you are a great mom, just trust your instincts.

Good Luck!

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A.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.!

First, congratulations on your beautiful baby girl! My daughter is 11 months so I completely understand your joy!!!!! I am blessed enough to be a stay at home mommy too!! Being a mommy is THE BEST job I have ever had!

I wanted to let you know that you are doing an amazing job tending to your babies needs!!~ ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT and it really aggravates me when people try to say things like, "your baby SHOULD be sleeping thru the night" or anything along those lines. We don't teach our babies to crawl, walk or eat, they do those things on their own and we praise them with LOVE LOVE LOVE, so why on earth would we think we can "teach" our babies to sleep? Our babies are not machines and the first year of their life there is SOOO much going on.... growth spurts, teething, developing, etc. and every single one of those things messes with their sleep. I bring my baby girl in bed with us every morning too... isn't it the BEST?!?!!?!? :)

When she wakes up at midnight/1am and doesn't want a bottle, maybe she just wanted to be held... Try not offering a bottle FIRST and see if you can just rock her back to sleep. Give it a few minutes before offering that bottle.

I just read JJ's response below and I agree 100%. :) I have also heard great things about that book, The No Cry Sleep Solution. I am 100million AGAINST letting our little babies CIO and just don't think it could ever be a necessary solution. For me, nursing my baby to sleep and just watching her is so incredible. I am going to be so sad when that's over.

Everything will work out great and just think... one day she's going to be a teenager and you won't be able to wake her up in the morning! She'll want to sleep all afternoon! ;)

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S.B.

answers from Visalia on

M. I have three kids and not one of them slept through the night until they were 2 or 3 every baby is DIFFERENT! Don't get caught up in what society says she should be doing! You have a great mechanism called your instinct! Use it! Sleep is very important for tired moms do whatever you can to get the most of it! Sleeping together is a great way to bond and get some good sleep. As far as the bottle goes, as soon as you think you have figured out her hunger she'll go through a growth spurt and you'll be back to square one! Again go with your gut...trust it! All the best!

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S.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

hi M. i too am a stay at home mom with a 10 month old baby boy that does the same thing. i have learned that kids do things at their own time. i use to worry about it alot but now.... when he wakes up for a bottle i just give it to him and he will go right back to bed. if i don't he would just stay up and cry. i am originally from the caribbean and where i am from there is nothing wrong with a 10 month old waking up for a bottle. i just thank the lord that i'm a stay at home mom and don't have to wake up in the morning to go to work. he use to wake up more but now he only wakes up twice for a bottle and then goes right back to bed; so i belive in his own time he well grow out of it and so i dont make it a problem any more. i too put him in bed next to my husband and i because he falls asleep faster that way and i don't have to hold or rock him to bed. if i fall asleep with him on our bed, then i would just wake up and put him in his crib sometime in the night or he would just end up spending the rest of the night in our bed. the point is i don't think you should stress about it onless it causes a problem for you or you husband; in that cause you can try out some of the other moms advice. i hope that was of some help and that you know that you are not alone.

A LITTLE ABOUT ME:

30 year old first time stay at home mom. just moved to CA from NY

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M.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

Being a parent is not easy, there is no instruction manual. And it is up to you to teach your child. Sometimes that precious is overwhelming and you will doubt yourself. With that said. There will come a point where you are going to be exhausted beyond the exhausted point and that will be the time when you are ready to know what to do. IF you are there. I suggest talking to your pediatrician. Mine told me let her cry.... They should be sleeping through the night. Let me tell you it was the hardest thing I ever did. I listend to my baby CRY for 20 mintues.....but she put herself back to sleep. It took 3 or 4 days with my first child and 2 days for my second child. I am not going to say it solves the sleeping issue forever, when they get older there are others.. sleeping in there big kid beds they learn they can get out by themselves..there is another challenge. Take one challenge at a time. Keep your chin up. Remember you are the parent, being a stay at home mom sometimes you tend to become their playmate which is ok till you have to discipline.Be strong!!

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G.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My first born did the same thing to me and then some. he would wake up twice until he was 16 months, everyone would tell me to let him cry back to sleep, but there was no way i would do that, however my grandma told me that it wasn't that he was hungry but that he had formed a habit of it, hey at this point i was going to buy into anything. so, she advice me to give him warm water at those times for the next few days. I tried it and the nightmare was over. he would suck on the bottle and fall asleep faster than with the milk, and within a week he was sleeping through the night, coincidence?...maybe. I was rewarded by my second child who unbelievebly slep through the night since day one.they are now 9 and 5 and they are both doing great.let me know if it works for you.Good Luck. ____@____.com

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R.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello M..
At ten months old, babies don't need anything in the middle of the night. As a matter of fact, much younger than that, they are perfectly capable of sleeping through the night without nutrition. I'd say switch to a bottle of water, then eventually nothing.
I'm very sensitive to my children when they are thirsty at night, but a feeding just trains their little tummies to be hungry at night. She'll be fine.
Have you ever noticed that if you eat at midnight one night, much of the time, you'll wake up hungry the same time next night? You just have to ignore the hunger and get a drink of water instead, as not to form annoying habits that disturb your sleep. You can condition her that way too.
But I feel for you...the light sleeper thing. My little boy has always been that way-don't think he slept through the night completely for the first time until two-and has rarely done it since (he's almost four).
Good luck, take it or leave it.
R.

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J.U.

answers from Reno on

I know how hard it is, my son Luke was the same way. It gets harder and harder. She really isnt hungry by 10 months she can last through the night, she just aware that if she cries you will come to feed her. One of my friends recommended a book to me. "Healthy Habits Healthy Sleep", I truely suggested that you just let your child cry. Once you read the book it makes it easier to follow. The time your baby cries minimizes ever night. It was soo hard for me, that I had to bet a movie monitor to see if my son was stuck on anything or was crying histerically. I also had to time myself to make sure I didnt go into soon. I really was a helpful book, but now that my son is 2 he is regressing. I better read the book again for kids his age. GoodLuck!!

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M.L.

answers from Honolulu on

Your daughter doesn't need to drink milk at night anymore. If she wakes up at night, offer her a bottle of water. Eventually she will figure out that it's not worth waking up for. It's normal for her to wake up several times at night and she will need to learn how to put herself back to sleep. When she wakes up, don't rush in to her. Give her a few minutes to try & figure it out. Also, as she's learning new skills, her sleep pattern will be disturbed, but it will settle back to normal if you remain consistent.

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S.W.

answers from Visalia on

well looks like you have more then enough advice, but i will share mine, too. my youngest is now 3.5 and has always been a self soother. she wouldnt take the pacifier and started sucking her thumb pretty early. i think this helped make her a great sleeper, she slept all night from about 3 months. that said all kids are different and i think you cant compare her to anyone else. my question is how much solid food is she eating. i know my littlest wouldnt go to bed until she had some rice cereal before bedtime. she might do better if her belly was fuller before bedtime. also maybe try pushing her bedtime back a little. good luck and have patience. remember sleep when you can and enjoy every minute with your beautiful girl.

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S.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Often the duration of satisfication is related to a baby's weight. The leaner the child, they need to be fed more often. So, if your baby is on the lean side, don't feel guilty if she is still hungry and can't make it through the night.

A trick my mother and grandmother always did was to put some rice cereal in the bottle and reduce the milk portion by diluting it with warm water. The rice will fill up the belly and will aid the child into sleeping longer. You may want to try this at the 8pm feeding. However, you may want to bump the feeding to 8:30-9:00 so that she'll sleep longer too. Just some suggestions. Good luck.

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B.Y.

answers from San Diego on

I am a 55 year old mother of adult daughters and 6 grandchildren. When my daughters were growing up, each of them were different and had different needs at different ages. One had a pacifier, one had her thumb and one breast fed until she weaned herself at 10 months old. None of them slept through the night until they were 2-3 years old. And no matter, whether they ate well in the evening when infants all of them still woke up for the midnight - 2am bottle or breast. And yes, they went back to bed with me or in the crib if they would stay when waking up for the 5am bottle or breast. All three are mothers now and doing well. Worked for me! Look at all the advice you've received then decide what feels like a right fit for you and your daughter... then no guilt or unrealistic expectations for yourself or your daughter. Besides who says she's supposed to sleep all night at 10 months old and/or not have a bottle in the middle of the night? Your the mom... do what you feel is right for her and for you. Believe they are off and married before you know it and you will miss this time with her more than you will your loss of sleep. Besides, you can take a nap when she does during the day!

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am in the process of weaning my son from middle of the night nursing. What I was told is anticipate his wake-up time and go in 1/2 to an hour BEFORE he wakes up to nurse, each night nursing for a few minutes less. Do it over 4-5 nights. Since you are bottle feeding, do the same thing, but give her an ounce or two less each night. By the end, she should sleep through without needing the bottle. It's really working for us! He doesn't wake up when I take him out of his crib for the nursing.

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D.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

It sounds harsh... but this is really on you. It you as her parent that needs the discipline. YOu said it yourself, 10 month olds are supposed to be sleeping through the night, which means, she is not hungry (even if you tried 3 times). Giving in not only means she'll continually believe she can get and is entitled to whatever she wants - you're also contributing to very bad eating habits and could lead to overeating, and using food as an emotional substitute. Put up with the crying, employ your husband's help and don't give in. She is NOT hungry.

And as for the the grandparents... tell them the rules, tell the you are the parent and that when it comes disciplining time, you as the parent are the only one allowed to do it - the as the grandparents are there to indulge, so long as it doesn't cross the line. And of course, leave when they just won't comply. It's very hard to do, I know - I've had to it a few times. but it will eventually pay off. Be as gentle with your parents as possbily can to have them understand. Remind your mom how hard it was as a parent and that you need your help so that you're not exhausted with their behavior at home. Bottomline is - put your foot down, know where you stand.

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C.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,
You must be getting exhausted!
What time does your little one have dinner?
Are you introducing a sippy cup? sometimes, when they are learning to drink from a sippy cup, they don't get enough formula before bed and they need that "boost".
All little ones have their own sleep schedule as we adults do. I found with my kids (3 of them) that a snack not drink before bed helped tremendously. Something healthy and not too swet. A banana or a little fruit mix smoothie (no milk, use formula) takes the edge off. If she eats dinner at say, 5 pm, and goes down at 8 pm it is a long time for a busy calorie burning baby to go without food.
Also, a bottle of formula at night in bed is an invitation for tooth decay!
Try the snack 1/2 hour before bed and be sure to brush her teeth!
Sometimes the night bottle is a habit. She is too young to understand all the health reasons so communicate in loving words that it is time for sleeping. Give her the pacifier and pat her back. By the way, a suggestion would be to start weaning her of the pacifier, too. It is hard to do but she won't miss it that much and it will only be a few nights of crying. (I am not heartless, I know that is so hard to hear, your baby crying!)
Anyway, try the snack idea first to see if that helps.
Remember to make it healthy. A little cereal mixed with formula and some sweet potatoes or banana. Use a real fresh banana and see what happens.
I hope that helps!
(I am now a grandma but I have raised 7 kids and I do home child care plus I used to teach preschool for over 25 years.)
Good luck, honey!
Hope it works. Aren't children wonderful? Such a blessing!
C.

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M. I HAVE 2 DAUGHTERS ALSO AND HAD THE SAME PROBLEM WITH THEM THERE IS A BOOK CALLED BABYWISE IT HELPED ME. I CAN'T REMEMBER THE AUTHORS NAME HOPEFULLY YOU CAN JUST FIND IT ONLINE.

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S.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

It could be molars coming in, im just throwing that out there. My son began more wakings around ten months also, wanting milk. It was a difficult time for about a month and it recently got better. I would give him only two ounces to pacify and comfort him. It worked well and by the time his major discomfort passed he did not want the milk anymore. I know some people think he was too young for molars, but at 11 months i felt them poking through his gums. He is now sleeping much better again, he just turned 1.

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

Mother of four, none of whom slept through the night until at least 18 months. I have to strongly disagree that at 10 months she should be sleeping through the night. She is still a baby, and babies were not designed to sleep through the night. Certainly you can "train" her, let her cry, etc, but that's not meeting her needs. That is not mothering, and I can tell you are a good mother. She will grow up soon enough. My suggestion is to keep doing what you are doing. When she wakes up, bring her to your bed, give her a bottle and you can both snuggle each other back to sleep. Enjoy that sweet little princess!

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

We put our little one to bed by 7:30 and wake her up at 10 before we go to sleep and give her a bottle, and she now sleeps through the night without needing to eat.

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A.H.

answers from San Diego on

Hi M.,

Its been a while since I've had little ones.(3 girls 14,10 & 8) When my middle child was 9 months old she still wasn't sleeping through the night. I told my doctor had he said "Honey, that's your fault." So he told me that I just have to let her cry and she will stop waking up (crying). I remember learning this in child development in high school. When they wake up crying you go in and let them know your there, everythings okay but its ninight time. Walk away, let them cry, go back in 10 - 15 min lay them back down tell them again mommy's here and it's ninight time. I was lucky, it only took one night of this and she started sleeping through the night. She probably woke up but knew I wasn't going to let her get up. At this point I was still breast feeding.(She never would take a bottle). At this age they don't need to eat in the middle of the night. So don't feeling guilty about that. If you can stick with the crying for a couple of nights you can get the rest of the nights to yourself. Hope this helps. Good luck:)

A.

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S.R.

answers from San Diego on

Your baby is a baby. She does not live on a schedule. There are many well-intentioned people who recommend putting babies on schedules, but they just don't function that way. Babies want to eat when they are hungry, not when a parent decides "it's time" to be hungry. Some days they are growing more rapidly than other days - growth spurts - but feeding schedules don't take that into account. If she wakes hungry, feed her. She is too young to be manipulative.

I can say, as a mother of FOUR children, that it most absolutely does NOT become a habit for a child to wake at a certain time. It's not premiditated, at least not for a baby that age. I also must tell you that your child will wake during the night; that's what babies do. Very few babies naturally sleep through the night. Most of the babies who sleep through the night are trained that way, as it goes against their biological development. They are not designed to go long periods without food; they are growing faster than at any other time in their lives. And even adults wake at night to get water! Imagine if your husband said "Not right now dear, you can have water in three more hours." I know I wouldn't take that very peacefully. Nor would I expect my baby to.

I encourage you to do a search on the terms Ezzo and "failure to thrive" and read some of the cautions raised by other pediatricians. Some of the results on the first page will be positions from the Ezzos themselves, but I hope you read some of the criticisms and decide for yourself if that's the path you want to take for your baby. The Ezzos' own church separated itself from them, pediatric associations have instigated investigations against them because their advice has been linked to failure to thrive in many babies. A wiser alternative would be The Baby Book by Dr. Sears and Nighttime Parenting by Dr. Sears.

Take care,
S.

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J.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

well, if I were you, I would make sure to give her plenty of solids and bottles in the day. Then she will be good and full for the night.
Its only a suggestion- it worked for my 3 kids!!! Good luck :)

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T.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

You have to stay strong and not give into that bottle. It's more habbit than actual hunger. As a mom of two young childern I have gone through it with both. My doctor gave me the advise. Go in calm her down leave the room wait 5 min. Go back in calm her down, leave, wait 10 min. Keep doing this each time increasing the time by 5 min. The first night can take an hour or two before she finally goes back to sleep the next night it'll be less time. It took my daughter 3 days before she started sleeping through the night. My son about 4 days. You have to stay strong and not give in. Your daughter knows adventually she'll get her way and you'll give her what she wants. This is the only thing that truely works. It's difficult, but the first time she sleeps throuhgt the night, is a true blessing from God. Mentally gear yourself up to not get any sleep for a few days.
As far as her waking early in the morning, it's comfort she wants to be close to you. She knows it's time to go sleep with mom. I never had the issue with my daughter, but I'm going through it with my son. Some days he wakes up early and some days he sleeps. My exceptable time for him to be awake is 6. If he wakes up earlier, I let him cry it out. He gives up after 5 min usually. You'll get to know the cry if they truely need you. After completing this process I can tell if they need mommy to comfort them back to sleep or if they're just waking up and seeing if they can get me rattled.
Good luck and God Bless!!
T.
I'm a stay at home mom with 2 amazing childern. 2yr old girl and 1yr old boy

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S.M.

answers from Santa Barbara on

Hello M.,
I'm a mother of a 7yr and a 4yr old boys and my little one went through the same thing at that age. Its sounds a little rough but maybe if you tried letting her fuss for about twenty min. she would fall asleep again also make sure her pacifier is next to her before you go to bed she can find it and use that to sooth herself. He also wanted to get up at 5:00 a.m. due to a dirty diaper I would just change him and give him is pacifier and that would get another hour and a half out of him. You will be tired for a few days because its hard to ignore them when the are fussing but it worked for me just always remember that she is only crying not dying.

R.R.

answers from Las Vegas on

Babies are very mysterious. There's stuff about that we'll never know. And each and every one of them is different. There's really no way any of us can know for sure why they're sleeping or not sleeping. The only thing that I can say for sure is that with my oldest, she would go through developmental growth spurts. Those spurts are hard, and take a lot out of babies! So much is changing in these first fragile months. Then when she was teething her sleep was all out of sorts again, but eventually she was back in the routine. That pattern continued on and off until well after her first birth day. Does that make any sense?
If she's waking once a night that seems pretty normal and par-for-the-course for a 10-month-old. The next real spurt that I noticed was around 11 and a half months. After she is about 14-15 months you'll probably see her wake up just the one time and it will gradually get later and later until she “sleeps through the night”...
Also, I really noticed a difference in the times that I would feed my daughter dinner and what it consisted of. You may want to bulk up on dinner and have it a bit later in the night than usual…
Hope this helped.

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

M.,
I'm having the same problem with my 9 month old. I've read that if your baby is still waking up at night to feed, you can give her water instead of formula. Eventually she won't think it's worth getting up anymore.
This is, of course, if you know that she's had enough to eat before she was put to bed.
I'll have to try this. If you do, let me know if it works.

M.

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H.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
She's actually not hungry- she's just in a habit of eating at that time. If you did cut her bottle, she would not like it but she definitely wouldn't starve. It'd be just like sleep training- you'd have to let her cry it out for a few nights (or more than a few). It'd drive you crazy but she would be fine. It just depends how long you want to keep getting up in the night. You can also use the sleep training method to get her to sleep past 5, until 6 or so. Again, it is all up to how you want things to be.
Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello M., I am just inthe same noat... I am36 with a 9.5 month old super active girl. I was having the same problem until last week... I added a fourth feeding of solids in the afternoon, close to her bath time and since then she is sleeping from 7:30-8am to 4:30am (8 hours!!!). So, her schedule is something like the following:
Around 4am - 6oz botle
Around 7-7:30am - solids (fruit with cereal, as much as she can take) plus bottle (approx 4-5oz and I just let her take as much as she wants)
Around 11-11:30am - solids (vegetables with or with out rice, as much as she can take) plus bottle (approx 4-5oz and I just let her take as much as she wants)
Around 3-3:30pm - solids (fruit /vegetables, as much as she can take) plus bottle (approx 4-5oz and I just let her take as much as she wants)
Around 6:30 solids (fruit /vegetables, as much as she can take)
After bath, around 7:30pm 8oz bottle (sometimes she drinks less because she ate enough solids)
If I notice that she did not have enough solids I add a bit of cereal to her botlle.

Many people suggested to let her cry, to deny the midnight bottle, etc.... but she was only hungry and she did need that extra bottle...
Good luck, let me know how it works!
S.

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E.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Sleeping through the night for a baby is 5 hours, you are doing a great job!!!

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M.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello, the "myth" about sleeping through the night does not apply. My son also woke up wanting to eat until he was a year. And my older son is four and he now wakes us up for differrent reasons - nightmares, needing to use the bathroom etc... I'm afraid we all hope once they get past the infant stage they will just let us get back to sleeping like normal people but it hasn't happened for me yet... My husband and I learned you just have to do what you think is best to soothe them to get enough rest to care for them properly during the day (and function at work) We drove oursleves nuts trying to let them cry it out, or agonize over whether we should feed the baby at ten months, and then we realized just go with it, because nothing lasts forever. It does sound like you have a tough sleeper, my first was like that, my advice is to do what feels right.

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L.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,I know what your going through.Both my children would do the same thing.I woould give them a bottle.I just thought of it as another feeding,and if they didn't finish the bottle thats alright.Babies and children are all different,I believe there is no rules,for when your baby is hungry.My sisterinlaw ,she tried so hard to keep a strict feeding scheduale,the Doctor told her baby was not getting enough milk.He used to wake up crying in the night,and she couldn't understand why.I said feed the baby,always see if there hungry first.You could even make half the amount in the bottle,if your worried about her not finishing it.Take care.L.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.,

Your daughter sounds just like my son (now one year old) who is not the best sleeper to this day. What we did was to add one bottle not long before we went to bed (about 10pm). We also put our son down at 7 to 7:30pm (still do) and he was consistently waking up at 3am ish every night. Not long after we added the 10 pm bottle (just a few nights I think) back when he was 9 months old, he started sleeping until the 5am hour. We let him cry it out and didn't go get him until 6am. This took a few days (or maybe a week or more) and he now plays in his bed if he wakes up early (we can hear him). I really thought this would never happen, but it did. He still wakes up on occasion but it is always before midnight and we let him cry it out. The only time we go comfort him is if he is sick. He has done well, but still does not sleep through the night unfortunately, but it is much easier for us and we are able to sleep now and it makes our day with him much better too!

Good luck!

L. H.

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C.C.

answers from Las Vegas on

You should try putting some baby cereal in her last bottle before bed. The heaviness of the cereal kept both of my little ones fast asleep all night. You might have to cut a few nipples just a tiny bit so the cereal can come out a little easier.

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C.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

try putting her to bed earlier. It seems counter-intuitive but my kids did much better when I did-- no later than 730 but they do even better when I put them down at 7.

I used the book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. It is REALLY rigid & basically advocate the cry it out method--- but they have some great things to say about babies/childrens development (where they should be at what stage with regard to sleep). It really helped me.

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K.G.

answers from San Diego on

Try to give her a dream feed when you go to bed. I give my 10 week old a bottle at 11pm while he is basicall y asleep. This gets me several hours. Also.....for a few nights if she does wake up give her maybe 1-2 ounces and then a pacifier until she falls asleep.

see if it helps.

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T.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,
just to put your mind at ease,your daughter is not "supposed" to be doing anything, she is only human and is an individual. she is an infant with needs, she is hungry when she is hungry and sleeps when she needs it ,she is not a train on a schedule. she will eventually get on a timetable as she gets older, I noticed that with my daughter, she eventually fell asleep at similar times and ate at similar times, she is 17 months old now and wakes up at the same time every morning and naps around 1pm and we put her down around 7 pm, it varies occasionally but thats OK!! she also sleeps through the night now. we are doing attachment parenting and we fulfill our baby's needs at all times to give her a sense of security that all her needs are being met. we want to raise a secure confident individual. hope this helps, I am no expert but just my advice!

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S.G.

answers from Reno on

Hi M.,
I am the mother of a 31/2 month old baby girl, who wakes up constantly through the night and really doesn't have a schedule. I was driving myself crazy trying to impose everyone else's expectations of her. I'm sure I'm suffering post-partem due to this. I ended up breaking down and calling my doctor who told me to come right in. He his wife and the lactation consultant all sat down and talked to me about following my own intuition about my daughter's needs. This helped me tremendously!
So the point of that was, if your little one is waking up and seems to be hungry feed her, if she just wants cuddles from Mommy, give her cuddles. Do whatever makes you and your baby feel good.
Maybe for her nighttime feeding dilute the milk with water and maybe that will help wean her from the feeding.
Good luck to you,
S.

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M.O.

answers from Los Angeles on

Every baby is difffernt, I am sorry to say that all those bbay books are a fairy tell. I don't know one book to be true to real life experience. Do what gets you through your day especailly if it affects your whole household including other children that need sleep or even your self. Your baby is only a child for a short time. Love them Feed tehm and do your best. God will direct you and give you guidence. For now, your doing fine and one day the baby will sleep soundly.

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I recommend you go to Amazon and order Richard Ferber's book, "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems". I used it for both of my boys and many of my friends also used it successfully with their children. This is an awesome book for anybody who is having any kind of nighttime trouble with their baby (older than 6 mos.) or child. Seriously. He gives you step by step directions as to what to do for your specific problem, but first, he helps you figure out whether it's a problem, then explains WHY it's a problem. Good luck!

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H.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I know that some babies just don't sleep well through the night. My advice to you is when she wakes up in the middle of the night and wants a bottle that you offer her water in the bottle and not formula. She will probably fuss because she is used to having the comfort of "food" in the middle of the night, but you will both be much happier in the long run because you will BOTH be rested. As long as she is eating some solid foods for dinner and even a small bottle before bed, she should not be "hungry" in the middle of the night. Some babies through the night by about 2 months and not eat for several hours. You just have to stick with it and only offer water. After a while, she'll realize she doesn't want to wake up and have a bottle if that's all you're going to give her and start sleeping through the night. I know that some babies just don't sleep well at night, but hopefully this will help.

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B.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

I went through the same thing with my 9 month old son but was adamantly told by my pediatrician that the child is not hungry and is able to go a full 8 to 12 hours at night with no food..it is a comfort thing and will not stop till I stop. So I toughed it out for three nights and didn't give a bottle just comforted and rode it out. He now sleeps through the night without asking for a bottle. It SUCKS to do it, because they do put up a HUGE crying fuss at first, but looking back on it now, I am glad I did it, because now he sleeps soundly and SO DO I

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A.P.

answers from San Diego on

Every child and every family is different. You can modify your child's pattern through training. One thought is to give her a bottle or no spill sippy with water. She can have access to this all night. If she is waking up because she is thirsty, mildly hungry or out of habit she can take care of her own needs without ruining her teeth. If she needs love and attention or a full meal she can wake you up. If you choose this method it may take a litte while to train her to this new habit. My kids 1 and 3 wake up at least once at night or early morning but no longer wake me up to meet their need. This lets me sleep which is my biggest need. Occasionaly one will have a growth spurt, new tooth or some other disruption to normalcy. But we quickly get back to our norm.

I hope you are able to find a great solution for your family!!

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A.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

at 10 months of age, she should not need a bottle at night especially if she is eating solids and eating well during the day. She is not crying for a bottle but for comfort. She needs to learn to self sooth herself back to sleep, I suggest reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. All 3 of my kids slept 12 hours at night since 6 months of age, the book really works.

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J.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

Have you tried to give her some cereal before bedtime. She is still pretty little, so I wouldn't turn waking up for a bottle into a battle that could wake her up even more! Quietly let her have a full bottle or just a few sucks. And don't worry as most things are a stage that can take a while for them to grow out of on their own schedule. However, I would caution you not to let her initially GO to sleep in your bed. Ever! I know families with elementary school age kids still sleeping with their parents!

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

Just say no! Learning to deal with frustration and boundries is a part of life. Do your child a favor, and grant her those learning lessons now.

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K.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

My almost 1 yr old daughter is the same - her wake time is between 1-2AM. Part of what I have noticed is that her diaper is always super full which actually makes her bottom real cold so I wonder if she is waking up from that. (I feed her 8 ounces at bedtime - probably another 'no-no'.) When I change her at 1AM she pretty much insists on a bottle to go back to sleep. I work outside the home and get up at 5AM, so I can definitely understand you not loving the midnight feedings so much :-) But I have to tell you, since I do not get to see her during the day, I see it as precious baby time for me - even if it is 2AM! I am sure my pediatrician would tell me that its a habit in her that I am reinforcing but as everyone else says - they are only this wonderful and little once - and this time will be over sooner rather than later. So do what is right for you - just think about the potential consequences (which some of the replies have mentioned) and if you are okay with them - then do what feels right :-)

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My 19 month old still wakes up every night between 2-3am to nurse for a few minutes. She co-sleeps which may be the cause but I just never had the heart to refuse her when she would in fact eat.

All my friends with baby boys say they are great sleepers. And some friends with girls say even their 2 and 3 year olds wake up for bottles...

Hang in there - I just tell myself that in the grand scheme of things, this is a very short window in my life and I will get to sleep later!!

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

You should try doing a "dream feed". You take the baby out of bed an hour before the earliest time she's woken up in the last week, while she's still in a nice deep sleep. You give her her usual bottle and put her right back to bed. Then the next night you do the same thing but give her one to two ounces less. You repeat this every night until your down to one or two ounces. By the time you've finished, you've slowly weaned her from her feeding in a very gentle way. If she cries in the middle of the night after that, you know she's not really hungry.

I did this with my son. He breast feeds, however, so I just cut out 2 minutes of feeding a night. Supposedly, it should work with a bottle too in the way I described above.

Good luck!! Trust me, I know about bad sleeping...

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M.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello M., 10 months is still very young. If she is hungry then give it to her. She will eventually grow out of it. My sons did the same thing. I've never gone by the book of letting your child cry it out or must sleep through the night, etc. Every child is different and I always believe you do what is best for her. I know a lot of moms will not agree with me but they are only young once. The next thing you know they are in high school and don't want to be around mom anymore. Enjoy it while you can. Wanting milk or wanting mommy in the middle of the night is not too bad.:)

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A.J.

answers from Los Angeles on

I am by no means an expert but I thought I could offer up what worked for me. I have an 8month old girl. I am also a 1st time mom!She now sleeps 11 hours straight. At times she will cry for 5 minutes or sit up and stare around the room but I don't go into her room anymore when she does this. She has rice cereal before bath time. I have my husband go into the room if she does need soothing and he holds her and puts her back down. This way she doesn't smell me and associate it with feeding time.
Sometimes it can be a couple of pick up's with soothing before she falls back asleep but if you do this over the course of a week she will eventually get the picture. I did attach a fish aquarium thing to the crib that she knows how to turn on - and she watches the fish or listens to the soothing sound of bubbles and eventually puts herself back to sleep.
i read the no cry sleep solution but didnt really apply any of the tricks.
Another thought - double check how many ounces a baby her age should be drinking and maybe make her bottles bigger during the day?
good luck!
a

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J.S.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

I feel your pain, M.! I have a 10mo. old son & he does the same thing. I have tried several of the recommendations the other mothers have made, which is all good advise. Each child is unique, though, and what works for some won't work for others. In my son's case, he is teething, so the pain in his mouth causes him to wake up several times during the night. Once the pain in his gums is relieved, he is able to go back to sleep. It's exhausting, I know! I also have a 7 year old, and I used the method of waiting for a few moments before going in to him, starting at 3 mins. & working my way up to 10 mins. I waited to do this until he was 1 year, though. It worked really well, but it took almost 2 weeks of doing this before he finally, consistently slept through the night. It was draining, but so worth it in the long run. Bottom line, though, you know your child better than anyone - follow your instincts as a mom. Try different techniques until you find the one that works for your daughter. It will get better - I promise! :)

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi M.! i have a 10 month old daughter as well and we had a very similar situation. She would wake up 2-3 times a night wanting to nurse. After nursing for just a couple minutes she would go right back down. It didn't seem like that big a deal since she went back to sleep so quickly but eventually every time she woke up she'd start crying and it would take me forever to get her back down. It was like she forgot how to fall asleep on her own and would wake up every hour and need me to rock her back to sleep. Needless to say no one was getting any sleep and we were all miserable. Anyway, my savior was the book SLEEP EASY SOLUTION. I'd tried other sleep training methods to no avail. This one did the trick in a couple of nights and it also tells you how to wean your child off middle of the night feedings. Like you I hated the idea of my child being hungry but, this system really worked for us and gave me peace of mind. Now, I'm thrilled to say, she sleeps 12 hours at a stretch! We are all happier because she knows how to get to sleep on her own now so if she wakes up in the middle of the night she just goes right back to sleep. You can check the book out of the library too if you don't want to buy yet another child care book. I hope this helps! T.

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K.R.

answers from San Diego on

She has to learn to soothe herself to sleep. To help this along, get her a soft stuffed toy or doll or a blanket to sleep with. We did this with our daughter by about 8mo and it helped a lot. She uses her piggy for all naps and bedtime, but no other time. Also, realize that you have to help her learn to soothe herself by NOT giving her a bottle and I agree with the let her cry advice - it takes a few days, but really does work.

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L.C.

answers from Visalia on

Not alot to offer, but one thought that came to me while reading about your issue. Go out and buy pacifiers that glow in the dark!! My pediatrician gave me that advise way back when my boy was a baby and it was the best advise!! I was complaining that my son was waking up in the night and I wasn't sure if hungry everytime or not but would usually settle back down if i put the pacificer in his mouth...Dr.'s advise....get the glow in the dark ones and they teach themselves to reach for it and put it in on their own!! She basically gently laughed at me and said, why should he do it himself when his mommy always runs in to do it! :) It didn't work everytime, but it sure cut down my trips running in to his room in the middle of the night. Granted..you still wake up and listen..but the majority of the time he would find it and soothe himself back to sleep and I could roll over and go back to sleep too! And if he didn't settle down...then I knew he needed some help :) Hope this is useful to you. Good Luck!

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

First, I think she is waking out of habit. A 10 month old is getting enough to eat all day, taking in enough calories, to have her sleep thru the night. She doesn't need that middle of the night feeding. She's waking up out of habit. The best thing you can do is try to break her of it, and make sure she is eating well at dinner. P.S. I'm a grandmother....been there done that!

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T.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

You don't say what else you feed your baby girl. It sounds like she isn't full enough at bedtime - because yes, she should be able to sleep through the night. Do you feed solids? Rice cereal always filled my boys at the last feeding (around 7:30p - asleep by 8p) and my daughter was a sleeper from day one. My boys needed full bellies to sleep all night. I resorted to (doctors hate this) a criss cut nipple and a cereal bottle - 8oz - made like soup basically. If you aren't feeding some solids with other mealtimes, it is time. The rice cereal is the easiest on the tummy to ease babies into food. Then baby food like applesauce is light and ease into the veggies. Too many pears will be detrimental to her bowels though. Good luck and God Bless You! I am sure it will all workout.

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G.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

I propose that it's a myth that kids ever sleep through the night! If it's not one stage, it's another. My 2 1/2 year old has never slept through the night. As a matter of fact, she just got up to tell me she's "scaredy". It's almost 1AM... I should be asleep too!

good luck. I've been told that these are the precious times that we'll miss when our girls are in their teens!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

M.,

You are not alone. I am dealing with almost the exact same issue with my 9.5 month old son. Several wake ups throughout the night and a feeding around 2am and then at 5am. My doctor advised to let him cry it out and I tried that with my first son and it worked. I am going to plan a time to start this when my husband is off work so we can do it together by switching off going into the room after 5 minutes and then in longer intervals as he continues to cry. Also, do you put your daughter in her crib asleep? I think when they are put to bed aleep instead of groggy they don't learn how to soothe themselves when they wake up during the night. I have gotten into that routine and it's hard to break. Also the teething tends to wake them up too. The morning snuggle tiome is great and your daughter will grow out of it so enjoy it while it lasts!

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M.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

You are actually doing pretty well, in my book. And don't let anyone tell you that at 10 months she 'should' be doing anthing, that puts too much pressure on you. All kids are different. My 20 month old girl did and still does the same thing. She was a thumb sucker and slept through the night until she was 5 months old. At that time we went to North Africa to see my husband's family and she stopped sucking her thumb and started using the bottle as comfort to get to sleep (she refused a pacifier). To this day she wakes up screaming for a bottle at least once a night. She is definitely not hungry, it's just she hasn't learned how to soothe herself to sleep. As torturous as it is, we have to let her cry it out, but she vomits when she cries too hard so that can be quite an ordeal at 1am. It is getting better as she gets older, some nights she makes it through the night until 4:30 or 5 and I give her a bottle to get her through the last couple of hours. My son did the same 5am wake for a bottle until he was 2 (he was a much better sleeper from early on) so I consider that pretty normal and I have heard that from most moms I talk to. Have you tried reading "The no-cry sleep solution?" I think it had great advice if you don't want to let her cry it out. Otherwise, you may have a child who won't sleep well until she is around 2 years old and you might have to be a little patient - I know that is not what you want to hear, but I've heard it from soooo many parents when I was looking for solutions to my daughters sleep issues.

In case it is hunger, you could try a little snack right before bedtime and her last bottle, but I'm pretty sure you have thought of that, it's pretty obvious. Also, if it isn't hunger and it is just comfort, try a bottle with water and if she takes that, it probably wasn't hunger and you would at least know.

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

How much solid food does your baby eat? Mine woke up until he started eating a full jar of baby food with protein in it. If your baby is eating 4 oz or more in the middle of the night, she is still hungry. If she only drinks a couple of ounces for comfort, you can also try giving a few ounces of water instead of milk. Once I did that, the waking up stopped. Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

First off.....who says she is supposed to be sleeping thru the night? Relieve yourself from that undue pressure. Babies don't always follow all these self imposed rules and expectations that our society puts on them. Sure it would be nice if they did things like slept thru the night by 6 weeks old, 10 months old or 2 years old. And some do. For those parents, I say, count your blessings, but really, you had very little to do with it.

These little human beings are all so very different. They are on their own timetable. Sometimes just going with the flow, letting your baby take the lead, and throwing all the rule books out the window really helps. If she wakes and wants a bottle, hungry or not, give her the bottle. You will both get back to sleep sooner. Just expect she will be unpredictable. Just when you think you got them figured out they surprise you.

I have a 4 and 10 year old. Neither slept thru the night until between 2 and 3 years old. I learned not to stress over it or feel like i was doing something wrong. I don't beleive in letting babies cry it out, especially young ones. That's how they communicate with us. They don't fit into our pre determined boxes we would so desperately like to put them in. So For your own sake, put the books and the rules and the guilt and the expectations of others aside, and go with your own instinct. your heart will tell you what is best and you will be at peace. You may still be sleepy, but you will be at peace. :) I let my babies and toddlers eat when they wanted and sleep where they wanted. We were all happier for it. They are now great sleepers and great kids. Your precious one will get there when she gets there. And don't let anyone tell you what that's supposed to look like. That's when we start to get stressed. Enjoy the journey and let your beautiful baby lead the way.

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well, "supposed to be sleeping through the night" is just something pediatricians and books will tell you... and people with easy babies ;) My son didn't sleep through until almost his third birthday... just a bad sleeper and wanted to be close all night to mommy. Sooooo, that being said, I would try this: Instead of giving her 8oz of milk/formula, make it a bottle of 7oz milk and 1oz water. Two nights later make it 6ozmilk 2ozwater, and continue on until she has all or mostly water.... you may luck out and she may decide that it's not worth waking up for and it will gradually tell her system not to be so hungry at night. On the other hand, you may have to battle the sleepys by napping with her during the day for another few months until her body stops demanding so much nighttime attention. Believe me, I know how tough it is, I was up with our son every two hours, nursing, until he was 15 months old. At that point I just let him cry (with me holding him) until he got the message that I would not feed him in the night, he still slept with us but didn't eat. He also continued to wake up and need a back rub or sip of water every couple hours until into his twos. Then he started sleeping in his bed (with mommy next to him) through the night, now he sleeps all night by himself in his room..... So all I can say is if all the ideas given by other moms don't work, then just live through it, it will get better! Hang in there!

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