Moving What Will the Courts Say??

Updated on April 01, 2009
L.E. asks from Louisville, KY
10 answers

does anyone know anything about when a parent moves away from their child, how does the court usually decide custody? this would be a huge move talking 3 states from the child.

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answers from Louisville on

why would you leave your child behind?

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Charleston on

in my experience who ever is keeping the child is considered the primary parent, let one who left the child is considered the secondary parent. my child was in N.C. and I am in W.V so N.C has the jurisdiction over my custody. Them my child moved with me to W.V but N.C still has jurisdiction over my custody. it would really depend on if you all are agreeing on the custody agreement or if you are going to let the courts decide. it is really much much quicker and easier if you all could agree on child support, visition scheduel, phone calls and even popin visits. in my custody the other parent is not responsible for anything. (please make a list of the things that you think is important before the custody papers are final) if you all could meet in the middle on the visitation dates and agree on them and even split for say the expenses of the child. I don't konw your situation but like i said it would be much easier if you all are capable on agreeing on somethings rather that dragging in on through court hearings. PLEASE remember that the child loves you both even if you are states away. either parent could call each night to tell the child goodnight and usual bedtime things. my child was spending christmas holidays every other year & spring break, 1 mth out of the summer with the other parent. like I said make a list of the things that are important to you like help with: school clothes, camp expenses,school activities, yearbook, tutoring, school trips, pictures. even school supplies and sports activities, just to name a few. these are several things that I wish I had thought of when I was in court, but nothing crossed my mind other that my fellings. hope this helps and may God bless you in your time of need and change. moving is simply a move and doesn't mean you are selfish or leaving your child. you have to do what is best for you and your family. blessings, D. in WV

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Jacksonville on

I would be more concerned with the damage it would to do the child, to be abandoned by a parent.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Raleigh on

It will depend on the circumstances surrounding the case. My situation was different because I petitioned the courts to leave the state WITH my son, so I had to get permission to move out of state.

Generally, the state where the child lives or the state where the order is entered will retain jurisidiction.

The non-custodial parent moving out of state still will have an obligation to pay child support, and also will still have visitation rights. That can be hard with school schedules and the cost of travel. I moved out of state with my son but the courts thought it was fair if my ex had to pay half of the cost of transporting my son back to Illinois for visitation. Alternately, my ex can travel to North Carolina to visit my son but he shoulders all of his own expenses.

I would suggest talking to a lawyer before the move happens. If you don't already have a lawyer, you can get a free or low-cost consultation. There may be laws particular to the state/county where you live or laws that apply in your particular circumstances.



answers from Nashville on

The state has a visitation schedule that is amended for parents who live in other states. for example you may recieve half of x-mas break all of spring break and half of the summer. then the court will decide how to break up transportation costs flights ect. You can go to the library and look for your states visitation guidlines,or you can get them from your attourney that will tell you how it may would be split up.
Alot of kids travel between two parents I know its hard but sometimes it just cant be helped. You can e-mail and send boxes and call lots you can still have a good relationship with your kids if you choose to make the time you do spend with them count call tell them good night read a bedtime storie send a build a bear with a messag in it 3 states away isnt the end of the world unless you make it so I hoped I helped you. Or the Father HE could do all the things I have suggested My Husband Does those things for his daughter. They have a really good relationship.



answers from Louisville on

First to those "CONDEMNING" you and NOT knowing the circumstances STOP!

Now that I have said that, L., every situation is different. When I moved from PA to Louisville, KY I got remarried and gave my ex a 30 notice as I had custody of the child. (YOU ARE NOT ABANDONING YOUR CHILD, as no one knows your circumstances)

I remarried and moved with my husband to Louisville. We agreed before hand that we would share the cost of transportation. As my son got older his father paid for him to fly to visit to Maryland as he also had moved from PA.
He continued child support and also helped pay 1/2 of whatever other expenses the child incurred, yearbook, prom, whatever it was.

You may want to discuss the possible move with a family attorney.

You don't state what age your child is so... that too may be a concern or play a role in the circumstances.

L., no matter what, Remember to do what is BEST for YOU and YOUR family.

NO one here should be passing 'judgement' on you or anyone else. If you have NOTHING nice to say be quiet!
Your 2 cents aren't needed, she was only trying to obtain information.
She may in fact be talking about someone else or maybe the child's father. Give her a break!



answers from Nashville on

First of all, L., I totally agree with Valerie about insinuations without facts. Second, may I suggest that, if you have to pay a lawyer for anything regarding this move, consider any other aspects you want covered and throw it all in together! Saves a little money for both you and your child's father in legal fees! Like what? Like a change in child support, travel expenses, who pays what for college, who pays for ANYTHING ritualistic (bar mitzvah, first communion party, wedding expenses, etc.) -- anything you might want changed with visitation now that the child will be farther away. Better to have it in a legal agreement and if you don't need it, so be it. Good luck!



answers from Knoxville on

It will probably depend on the age of the child and what the original visitation agreement is. My stepson lived several states away from us and we only got to see him twice a year, and it was always up to us to get him here and get him home again. Once he was old enough we would buy him a plane ticket, but until then we would drive and get him. Hopefully you have a good relationship with the other parent and can work something out.



answers from Charlotte on

I don't know about the laws in the state that has juristiction over your case. Where you were divorced has juristiction. It also depends on if you are the custodial parent and if you are planning to take the child with you. I moved to another state with my children and I had to petition the court and have everything agreed apon before I left. The children's father is now planning on moving to a different state but doesn't have to do anything but work on a new parenting time schedule. Ever situation, state and judge is different.

Whatever your situation I hope it works out for you and your child.



answers from Louisville on

A few things to note concerning your question on moving out of state with your child. First of all, there is no "usually" in how the courts decide such matters. There are far too many things to consider, making every case unique and individual. You are fortunate to live in Louisville. Jefferson Trial Courts was one of the first in the nation to utilize the concept of a Family Court - "One Family - One Judge" System. Since you and your child's father are not together chances are you have already been in court in the past. Unless that judge has retired, you will go before that same judge everytime you go into court. This way, the judge is familiar with your family, your situation, and the special issues in the family.

If you and your child's father were married but are now divorced, there is a chance the dissolution order stipulates conditions should one party or the other move out of the area. If so, refer to that for guidance. If you were not married and there was never a child support order in place, thus having no court history, you actually have no legal constraints but, in order to keep the father from blowing a gasket, you will want to file a new Motion in court for the judge to make a determination on how to handle the move. Likewise, if there is a child support, visitation, or other order in place, you need to first review what those orders stipulate. If there is no stipulation, you will need to go back to court for a ruling on what you can and/or cannot do as far as a move and how do handle visitation, etc.

As Skye pointed out, the possibilities include long-distance visitation with costs shared or not depending on the financial situations of the parties. And child support, if ordered, is still a legal responsibility regardless of where the parties may live.

I am sending you a private message with some phone numbers that might be useful to you.

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