Moving - Madison,WI

Updated on September 29, 2011
J.T. asks from Marblehead, MA
11 answers

We will be moving to another state in early November. I have a 3 yr old son. It will be a huge change for him --new house, new daycare. And leaving friends behind. Any tips on how to make the transition smoother for him?
Any books to read on moving?

TIA!

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

I've been in the military for 9 years. Moving has happened for us a few times.

The number one, best way to transition is to 1, try to keep his schedule as much the same as you can; and 2, communicate with him.

Don't let this be a huge suprise. Let him help pack, tell him about the new house, show him pictures, talk about the people who you'll be meeting, etc. But let him know that a lot of things will be the same. Mommy and daddy will still be there, pets will be going, toys will be going, etc. Try to think of it from a toddler's point of view...they think of the strangest things like, "will there be a potty at our new house? Where will my sandbox go?"

I imagine there are books on this, but if you just keep their schedule and communicate with them (at their level) things will be fine.

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J.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

We moved across the country when my oldest was three. It was a tough transition for him - my most important advice is to be patient and let him adjust at his own speed. Some things that really helped him: picking out a color for the walls of his room, having his room (with all his stuff) set up as completely as possible first thing (we were moving near my parents, so we stayed at their house until we had unpacked enough for our house to be livable - this was ideal.) When we were packing up the old house, I made sure that he was with his favorite babysitter - on moving day as well, so that he was with someone he trusted and loved, but also so that he could watch when he wanted to, and when he needed to step away and do something else, he could do that, too. I made a photo collage (in one of those multi-photo frames) of the old house and pictures of him at the park and by the river and with his old friends and important grown-ups - to help him remember, and to help him know that those places and people remain important, even if we don't see them often anymore.

The "Berenstain bears moving day" was a good book, but one that became a favorite was "Big Ernie's New Home" - about a boy and his cat who move from San Francisco to New Mexico - the boy is happy enough about the move, but the cat is not so sure. It spends a lot of time describing favorite things about the old home (smells, sounds, colors, etc) and then the discovery of new favorite things in the new home.
http://www.amazon.com/Big-Ernies-New-Home-Children/dp/159...

Good luck, and remember that it takes a full year in a new place to really feel settled and at home - for you and for your son. Be patient and gentle with yourself and with him. Best of luck.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My dad was career military and so is my son. I went in the military and made several moves when I got out.

Moving was NOT a big deal to any of my kids.

Christy P is right. Follow what she said.

Good luck on your move.

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J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

We recently moved to another state too, my daughter was 4. The hardest thing for her was living so far away from our family. I would suggest letting him pack some of his toys, this way he knows they are coming too. Maybe let him help decorate his new room and/or pick out the colors. I don't know of any books to recommend. I would just make sure he is involved somehow. My mom moved a lot when I was a kid and I think since he is young it will be easier. The older I got the harder it was to pick up and go.
Good luck :-)

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C.R.

answers from Birmingham on

As others mentioned: reassurance is key. I don't know of any books; my three year old had no problems with our big move.

Only thing I'd add: if you have a moving company (we had a wonderful experience with Two Men and a Truck), let your toddler pack a suitcase/box/bin of toys to have for the transition time.

Good luck!

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V.B.

answers from Miami on

We just moved from TX to FL and my kids are 5 and 3. I really thought my 5 year old would take it super hard and have a tough time adjusting, but she has done perfectly fine. She misses her friends, but she just started kindergarten, so she is busy every day and seems very well adjusted. My son, on the other hand, is having a much harder time of it. He keeps asking to go back to his house in TX and when he plays, he'll pretend to go to the "TX park". It's very sad. He is also super clingy with me right now and won't go anywhere (preschool, gym childcare, church, etc) without a fit. He used to just walk right in with no problem. I know it's just an adjustment period, but I guess I would try to talk to him about it as much as possible ahead of time. Talk about the fun things there might be to do where you're moving to. I was so focused on my 5 year old that I don't think I realized how much it would impact the little one. Just try to have an extra dose of patience when you get there. The adjustment may take longer than you anticipate. Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Bismarck on

Berenstain Bears Moving Day.
Talk about it in positive ways. We acknowledged moving and that it would be sad but mainly focused on the positive and new. It made the move for our 4.5 and 2.5 yr olds easier.
Either vacation on the move or if possible let him adjust slowly. For example don't move and put in daycare the next day. Slowly introduce new events or activities.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

him being so young i really dont think you have much to worry about-its gonna be real stressful for you so remeber to keep a smile n patients..good luck

J.A.

answers from Erie on

I would suggest to always show excitement to him when you talk about the move. Maybe ask him what he thinks will be fun. He's so young, he won't fully comprehend what is happening, but if Mommy is excited and doesn't show anxiety to him, he will most likely mimic you.
Best wishes on your move!

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A few years ago we made a big move to another state with my then 2yr old and 4yr old. Just talk to him about it, over and over, day after day. The other thing I did was take pictures of everything that is familiar. Take pictures of his room now, your room, the kitchen, the living room or play room, the yard, his school, his friends, his favorite place to eat, his favorite place to play, etc. Then put all of those pictures together in a small hand held photo album. If he gets lonesome for "home", you can give him the book. That way he can still feel the comfort of the familiar while he gets used to the new. We never needed our photo album, but it was on hand just in case. My kids came through the move with no problems at all and we did not have any books to read about it. It was a positive experience because mom and dad were excited about it and we talked about it a lot. Good Luck

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