Movie Ratings and Kids

It depends. If I wanted my daughter to grow up thinking she was a sex objects and nothing more, and vulgarity is better than intelligence, and if I wanted her to harbor anti-muslim and/or anti-American sentiments, then Ted and ZDT wouldn't bother me one bit.

People don't think, that's the problem. But I'm assuming by her other family you mean her mother, and unless her father will say anything, there's not much you can do. She can't unsee them.

If your husband feels the need to approach this issue with his ex then so be it however you cannot have any say in what she enjoys while she is at the other home. This is only an issue that should be brought up between your step-daughter's two parents.

That is way too young to see those movies. I would say something. As they say....once seen, never unseen; once heard, never unheard....

Too young. I would be upset about it too. Your husband should say something about it.
Good grief, what are people thinking???

Well I can tell you that when I was 8, my best friend's parents allowed us to rent (and watch) Speed. I didn't tell my mom until I was quite a bit older (didn't want to be banned from going over there) but boy that movie had me terrified. There is NO way that I would allow my children to watch either of the movies you mentioned (or Speed for that matter!) until they are quite a bit older. I'm with the others. If your husband is against it as well, it needs to be discussed. No accusations, just a conversation about how you guys (more specifically your husband) are uncomfortable with her watching those kind of movies. Could it cause tension? Possibly, but hopefully not.

There is no way that a child that young should see the movie Ted. Your husband should absolutely say something. You also both need to watch Ted if you have not and then sit down with this girl and have a discussion about what she witnessed in this movie. See what damage repair you can do. The sad thing is that she will never be the same. Movies like that will take a child's innocence.

I suggest that your husband first ask if she really did see those movies. Sometimes kids report things that never happened. Then if she did see them he should tell them that he's concerned about the content. See the movies first so that he can be specific. I suggest he can start out by saying he doesn't think they're appropriate but if he hasn't seen them say he's going to watch them and would like to talk more about it.

Be honest, using I statements, without blaming. Approach it from discussing what is best for his daughter and go from there. Be willing to really listen to their explanation before emphasizing his concerns. The way he responds should be firm but low key, non-judgmental while working towards an agreement.

My granddaughter is now 12 and PG13 movies are still monitored before she's allowed to see them. At 10 she could only watch G and PG movies. Her parents would watch other movies while she was asleep or playing in her room. Perhaps that's what happened here.

If she's really seen the movies then have a discussion with her about what she thinks about the movies. Be open. Allow her to do most of the talking before you open the conversation for a calm, non-judgmental discussion. You can be judgmental about the content but not about her mother and step-father allowing her to watch them Explain your boundary along with why you've made that choice. Empower her to be able to say that she doesn't want to watch such movies.

Some actors won't be in a movie that is not rated R. They think it will tarnish their professional facade if they are in a movie rated less.

A Few Good Men was in the theaters in my town, it was rated R. We were in line behind some kids from church and they bought tickets for it. I told the man selling tickets they weren't even 14 yet. He informed me that it had bad language in it and a few not so bad scenes of violence. Not something that should have been rated R. Looking back at it I have to agree. That's when I looked at it like this, they want to sell tickets to the movies, it's a Guy kind of movie and a guy is not going to say he went to a PG-13 movie so they rated it R.

I think that the ratings are like that. So I decide what movies the kids can see or not see.

I have NO INTEREST is seeing the Timothy Green movie. I won't let the kids see it either. My granddaughter is very sensitive to things like this. I don't want her to have to deal with that.

There are other movies the kids see that people think I'm crazy for letting them see them but the kids love them. For the longest time Ghost Rider was my grandson's favorite movie. He was 3 or 4. Too much for his age? Yes, he snuck it out of the case and put it in the TV during the night and watched it all night long. He had already seen it by the time I realized it so what the heck, he could watch it when ever he wanted as far as I was concerned.

So I do believe it is our own choice to let the kids see what we want to see in our own home but it's not our business what they see in another home if we allow them to go there for one reason or another.

i don't think i'd like it much. i think the rating system is wack and never rely on it, but it would be a rare 10 year old mature enough for either of those movies to be okay. and rather sad that any 10 year old should be that mature.
that being said, you're on very shaky ground if a parent is taking her. if your husband is comfortable bringing the subject up, and it won't create a storm of angst and recriminations, it could be a good thing. but the mom will probably feel defensive about her own parenting rights and decisions.
is it worth it? you may have bigger fish to fry as your SD moves into her teens.
khairete
S.

Very inappropriate. I would have to say something. Try to be calm, nothings going to turn back time. Just let them know that next time you want to be informed of the movie choices and if the other parent want to see something you don't want her to see, offer to let them bring her there.

I want to be more insistent than that but I am sure you don't want to insult them.

MPAA movie ratings are not reliable indicators of appropriateness. There are no standards or reliability. However, if something is rated R it is, usually, a good idea to skip it with kids unless you've seen it or researched the content. CommonSenseMedia.org is my favorite resource for the detail professional and user ratings.

Ted, for example, is ranked for 17+ with comments about extreme vulgarity and sexual themes. ZDT is violent, possibly scary and dark.

You need to get on the same page with your ex about R movies not being appropriate for a 10 year old girl. There is no reason that they have to see the movie during her time with them, but if they insist on date night or whatever, have them leave your daughter with you instead.

Ack!! I have no idea what Zero Dark Thirty is, but Ted was DISGUSTING! Even my husband thought it was over the top raunchy and he gets a kick out of a lot more raunchy humor than I do. We rented it awhile back and I'm so glad we didn't pay to see it in the theater. I think it's horrible that she's seeing movies like that. I don't think it's your place to say anything, but her dad absolutely should say something to her mom. Ugh... Kinda makes me sick that she's exposed to that stuff to be honest.

I do not rely on the ratings for my decisions on what movies my kids watch. They have heard bad words, seen people kiss, etc. I'm not opposed to exposing them to real life situations. However, Ted and Zero Dark Thirty are not on the list of movies they can see. They want to see Ted, but not until hubby and I watch it. Then I think it will be a big fat no. And Zero Dark Thirty...yea, probably not. My oldest is 9, but I don't think I'd encourage either of those.

I think what it boils down to is that you can't control what they do with her on their time. It's not illegal for her to see those, but not good parenting choices either.

Zero Dark Thirty is a true story so if she watches the news or goes to school chances are she knows about what happened in it already. As for Ted it's just a stupid movie. Heck my 6 year old watched part of it when my husband and I were watching it and he thought it was dumb. If your husband has issues he should discuss it with her mother, not your place IMO

I haven't seen Zero Dark Thirty, but Ted was offensive to me!!
I cannot believe any parent would let a 10 year old watch that show. For Real!?!?!
I would seriously discuss it with them. Be kind, like maybe they "thought" a movie about a teddy bear would be child friendly.... Let them know what movie ratings you approve of and explain why, but I guess in the end what they do is their choice. Hopefully they will see your side!
Good Luck!!

I allowed my daughter to see R rated movies with me at that age.

Too young!!

However, it will need to be your husband that approaches the topic of them not being age appropriate.

There is a site that I've started using to gage what is appropriate for my kids.
www.commonsensemedia.org. My 11y wanted to see Skyfall, the website said that it was best for kids 13-14. So my kid didn't go. My 9y nephew said that his mom was taking him to see. I told them that if he were my kid, he wouldn't be going either. I don't know if he went or not. My inlaws did take same nephew to see Rango, but I didn't let my kid go because the site said that it was inappropriate for his age. Inlaws were NOT happy with me.

Here is the review for Zero Dark Thirty.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/zero-dark-t...

Here is the review for Ted.
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews/ted

Reread Ally G's post. She is right on.

I know parents who chose not to make movies a battle they fought with exes, but I think it has to be done movie by movie.

Both the ones you describe are not at all appropriate.

If you have an easygoing relationship, is it easygoing enough that your hubby (not you, this is HIS time to deal with things as it's his ex) can talk to them about it? He should not be accusatory; they may have gone to see these things with little real idea of what they were about (believe me, some adults pay NO attention to ratings or reviews and just haul kids along to what the adults want to see, period). In fact I bet that's what's going on -- ex and her husband are just taking kid along on their adult movie night. See if your husband can talk to them about that factor and whether their time with her can be rearranged so they are not including her in grownup movie time. Also, it would help if your stepdaughter had said things to you about how she was upset by/lost sleep over/was grossed out by such things.....Can't make it up if she didn't say it but has she seemed upset by these movies?

Maybe you and they can agree that both families will abide by taking her to films that are only PG or below, maybe PG-13 though that depends on the film.

As for the person who posted that "Zero Dark Thirty" is based on real events so she'd know about them if she watched the news, so what's the big deal -- Knowning a story is true is NOT the same as actually watching depictions of torture on a huge screen before your eyes. If the other parents try to use that excuse -- wow, they are not thinking about her mind and heart.