Movie Question

Updated on October 24, 2008
D.K. asks from Broomfield, CO
20 answers

My son who is four LOVES super heroes, I mean loves them. I have watched with him all the Spiderman movies, I felt they were simple in nature, only super hero violence and he did not misinterpret for real violence and loved all three. Though the third had kind of a dark tone I liked the ultimate message that good prevails, my son got that too. He and I watched almost all the Star Wars together too and he loved them. No bad dreams or misunderstanding of reality vs not. We watched Spiderwick Chronicles together too and he loved it.

Anyway, I am so weird about PG13. I find some movies are very much rated that for language, nudity or suggestive bad behavior. Other times things like Shrek can get that rating and not for any real reasonings. For these reasons I watch most movies before he does or with him always. I won't let him see the new Batman movie as it has a lot darker theme and not something appropriate for him at 4.

His dad is coming into town and he desperately wants to watch Ironman with him. My ex questioned whether it is suitable or not. I have no idea other then speaking to other moms I babysit for said it was along the same lines as spiderman and fairly harmless.
I let him watch Transformers and skipped the masturbation scene part as I got a heads up on Commonsense.com. I am just curious if Ironman, Indiana Jones (the new one) or the new Hulk you have seen or let your kids watch and what did you think? I am going to research them on commonsense.com too but wanted to hear what your personal thoughts are on the movies I listed. I am a huge Indiana Jones fan so would love to watch that one with him. **** I saw on Commonsense that Ironman was pretty violent, bad scenes and some nudity scenes...would think twice now obviously or see it first, has anyone else seen it??????

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So What Happened?

WOW what great responses! Thank you all!
I have come to the conclusion I will rent it the night before and watch it first alone and see what I think personally. He doesn't scare easy, loved the Spiderwick, Zathura, Star Wars and Spiderman type movies, even Transformers (skipped the one part) but he and I loved that one! :)
I think with the reviews here and what I have read on the internet sites I need to see this one first. Super hero violence is one thing but if people are suffering on the movie and it is destructive and pointless savage violence I have a problem with that.

Semi nudity isn't a huge issue for me as long as it isn't showing full body parts and I am not opposed if they are in a relationship type kissing either. Do not want them exposed to sex acts of any kind however!!! :) I certainly am not ready to have any sex talks with a four or seven year old just yet either. Most of that stuff goes over his head thankfully, but my daughter is one to ask questions and pick up on stuff easier.

I will watch it and see. My ex will condemn me probably regardless and ultimately he will just have to trust me either way on my decision. I will rent Indiana Jones too so they have a alternative if one isn't suitable.
Thank you again mommies! I do agree completely you have to know your child, what scares them, what point they know reality vs pretend and all that. The only movie that ever bothered my four year old was Monster House, which I watched on the regular TV with him and he had nightmares! :) So I know what level he can handle things but will see for myself.

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S.M.

answers from Casper on

along with the nudity, I would be concerned about him becoming desensitized to the violence, especially so young.

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S.M.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi D.,
I would say Ironman is too much for a 4 year old. The first 1/3 of the movie is before he becomes Iron man and there is a lot of war scenes that are not super hero violence. My son loves those films too but at 9 I think Ironman was pushing it.
I think Indiana Jones is probably ok since he has seen star wars. One of the earlier Indiana Jones, can't think which one, where the bad guy would pull a heart out of someone is the only one I can think of that wouldn't be good for a 4 year old.
Have fun,
SarahMM

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S.A.

answers from Boise on

Check out the web site kidsinmind.com it gives detailed information of exactly what is in the
movie. It's a great resource.

Take care,
S.A.

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A.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You sound a bit like me in my movie "allowances" for my son. We use the web site www.kids-in-mind.com it breaks everything down very very well! I really enjoyed Iron man a lot! The one sex scene in it is very easily fast forwarded and then it's over, there is violence but I wouldn't say that it's much more than spiderman movies although it is more "real" violence considering it's meant to be set in our time with weapons design for the war in the middle east. The kids in mind web page uses a 1-10 rating scale breaking down the sex content, the violence, and the language. spiderman got a 3, 6, 3, iron man got 4, 7, and 5, and indiana jones (which I didn't much care for because it's very...sci fi, much more than any of the others) got a 1, 7, 4. Check out the web page-it's very helpful!!! they break everything down from "you see a couple kiss" to telling you exactly what is violent and why.

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K.R.

answers from Fort Collins on

We are also big on the super hero movies! We rented Iron Man a couple of weeks ago ang watched it as a family- my 2 daughters(11 and 8) son(4) my husband and I. We all thought it was great and my 8yo wants the movie for Christmas. I don't recall anything that I felt was inapropriate unless you feel strongly against guns with your son because there is a little of that.

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Hi D., We took our 9 yr. old grandson and 4 yr. old grandson to see Ironman. The oldest really enjoyed it and the 4 year old watched some of it and cuddled with me in the theatre on the parts that were just a little over his head or maybe just not too interesting to him. I remember there was a scene in it that scared him. I covered his eyes and my husband looked over just to make sure he was okay. Have you watched it? Maybe you should see this one before he does and then decide. It did seem a little mature for him. I hope this helps some. K. K.

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H.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I would see it first to decide if it is appropriate for your child. My son is five, and I would not let him watch it. I feel that there is violence and torture, in the beginning and a questionable medical proceedure where someone replaces "Ironman's" heart with a battery to keep him alive. The premise is the guy makes weapons and they get in the hands of terrorists, ect. When he breaks out of the terrorist camp he torches them with a flame thrower. It is a good movie for adults, but both of my kids are too young for it. But only you can decide what is right for your kids. See it first, I am sure they have it at blockbuster.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

there's a sex scene in ironman that i felt was too explicit for the pg13 rating and during the scene i was immediately uncomfortable for all the little children that were in the theater.

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A.U.

answers from Provo on

I will tell you up front that I am pretty conservative when it comes to movies-- I don't watch R rated movies and excessive violence does bother me. I saw IronMan with my husband (and he loved loved loved it, but has no problem with violence) and, while I enjoyed it for the most part, there was one scene that really bothered me. Right after IronMan breaks out of his imprisonment he literally torches the whole camp he was being held in with some sort of flame thrower. It just seemed to go on and on with people being burned. I was thinking "Enough already! They've all got to be dead by now!" but he just kept on. There is no way that I would let my 4 year old watch it, but then again, I wasn't too thrilled when my husband let her watch Zathura (It's not bad, but I think it is just too intense for her age), so we may be coming from different places on this one. Good luck in what you decide!

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T.M.

answers from Missoula on

The powerrangers are alright shows too.
They have the usual superhero violence but always have the good message.... and they are only 1/2 an hour long!
I myself haven't seen Ironman but good luck!

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A.W.

answers from Pocatello on

try the website: www.kidsinmind.com. It is extremely specific as to what you see/hear/is implied in a movie & also has parent review feedback....we always check it before our 6 yr old watches a new movie.

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S.P.

answers from Great Falls on

I have often wondered the same thing. Am I being a "Bad Mom" because I let my kids watch Star Wars and Harry Potter and what not. My kids are older and I try not to let them see anything with high sexual conduct or references. My kids are older. My oldest son has gone to every Harry Potter movie with me at the theater, yet I wouldn't let him see transformers by himself. I usually like to be there so I can explain anything he wonders about. My nine year old is the same way. He doesn't get a lot of the sexual innuendos of some scenes.

Our therapist wants us to make sure that my son is emotional ready for what ever movie we let him watch. Like, I watched Star Wars, episode 3 with him and he really freaked out at the end. Of course, he was facinated at the same time.
My youngest doesn't like the star wars because it's too violent to watch.
I totally think it is up to the kid. How mature are they? Is he a precosous three year old? Will he have nightmares from it? I feel pretty strong about not sensoring anything people watch. Or read. or whatever. I hope this helped. Good luck!!!

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C.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would say a definate NO to Ironman. As an adult I watched it and I had bad dreams. It has alot to do with the war in Iraq and the violence surrounding it. There is one scence here a family is being separated and the father is forced to kneel down with agun to his head and his children are watching. Not suitable for a 4 yr old. Indiana JOnes I took my 7 y/o nephew to and he loved it. More scared of the dark movie theater than the movie.
I would suggest that you watch Ironman first by yourself before you let you child watch it,

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J.O.

answers from Boise on

I have seen two movies and can say that my 2,4 and 7 year old (plus my older kids) have seen them both I saw nothing that was offensive in either one (Indie and Iron), my 4 year old did fall asleep in the movie theater, but at home has had no issue, and if there was anything offensive it slipped over my head. Know I haven't seen the Hulk and am going to watch it in about an hour or two since I just went and bought it. I'll check back if no one has said anything about it!

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N.C.

answers from Denver on

My husband and I watch a lot of movies so, hopefully, this is helpful. I loved Iron man. I think that the scene with the woman in it can be easily fast forwarded through and even though skin is shown, it is not a full nude scene. It does have violence especially in the beginning and at the end when he is fighting the bad guy. I wouldn't say that it is any more or less violent than the Star Wars or Spiderman movies though. My son is only 2 months old, so he doesn't even stay awake for a whole movie let alone pay attention! :-) I have a 4 year old sister that I would watch the movie with though. (She also loved the Spiderwick Chronicles)

I don't know about Indiana Jones. I did see the newest movie and I am a huge fan of the Indiana Jones movies also, but I hated the new one because I felt that the story line was way too different than the previous three. I honestly don't remember how violent it was or anything, I just watched Iron Man last week so it is a little more fresh.
Hope that helps!

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M.S.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I am really weird about letting my kids watch movies too. So, I know your delemia. I or my husband watches all the movies first and he is more ok with the movies than I am. But he said the Ironman one is too scary and violent for my kids and they are 9 and 6. They have seen the indiana jones movie and I didn't think it was appropriate but my husband did. So, I hope you make the right decisions. I just don't like to see violence for kids cause their behavior changes when they see too much of it. I know my kids do. So, be careful.

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D.C.

answers from Boise on

hi, i have seen both iron man, and the hulk. they are ok, as long as he understands they are just a movie and not real. i am with you that the new batman is to dark. we also saw that and it was a little dark for our nine almost ten year old.

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K.G.

answers from Denver on

My daughter will be 4 in February - as much as I want to share with her the big movies - Ironman, Spiderman, etc. that she sees advertised or in the "mommy/daddy" shelf of dvds at our house, she still gets sad and cries when the pumpkin gets smashed by the palace guards in Cinderella. I am thinking there is plenty of time down the road to share big movies with little tikes. My daughter used to watch Monsters and now says it scares her - I am not ready to subject her to Ironman (as much as my hubby and i love it) because we think it is too far out of her world to comprehend the bad stuff. Yes, it is a great story and a super-hero but there are lots more bads on that one than I would say good for a 4 year old.

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B.P.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My son is 3 and we have been watching the new Indiana Jones movie all week. He loves it and I don't think it is too much for him to handle. The violence is pretty mild and there really isn't anything too scary in it. I haven't seen Iron Man or the new Hulk movie, so I can't be much help in those departments. Another suggestion my son loves the original Star Wars movies, they are always good ones to go back to and I'm sure you dad would get a kick out of seeing them again!

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T.L.

answers from Denver on

D.,

I love the website www.pluggedinonline.com. Not only do they do a great job showing you all the pitfalls of movies, they also talk about their positive qualities as well. This can help guide discussion with your children about the movie. They review all movies and also music, television shows and video games. What a great source of information and a time saver.

I would also caution you about having your children grow up too soon. Emotionally and developmentally, they may not be ready for what these movies are allowing them to experience. Research has shown that your children will become desensitized to violence and nudity. Your daughter is seven now, but consider how you want her to dress when she is thirteen. Your son is four, but consider how you want him to treat others when he is in eighth grade. I know we (my husband and I) struggle with what limits and boundries to set for our children. We find ourselves being more and more protective with the minds of our children.

Let me add this too and I'm sorry if I'm stepping on toes. You mentioned you and your ex did not agree on these things. (I'm a little confused about the his dad, my ex - are they two different people?) Either way, as a male, his perspective will be different than yours because he is a guy. He understands how the male gender thinks and reacts to partial nudity and seeing "action" scenes. Please do not disregard his opinion based on your relationship issues. He also wants what is best for your children. Listen to him have enough courage to make the choices that are best for your children.

Good luck,
T.

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