Mothers day..HA

I enjoyed my mother's day. I got to sleep in. My husband got me my favorite flowers - snapdragon plants. My mom and I will be planting them together - which I am truely excited about. For my husband to get my favorite flowers - I was very touched considering he doesn't pay a bit of attention on what my likes and dislikes are. I thought it was really sweet. I was talking to my mom yesterday and she told me the origin of the day was for a rememberance a certain women's mom who died. Then in 1940's when it became more of a commercial holiday - the woman who founded it....protested against it. I think it's kinda funny.

I still did the dishes and such...but I got to sleep in. And that was wonderful.

Yeah I guess just like any other day the day is what you make of it! So if that's what you choose to make of it then that's what it's going to be I guess.

I showed my mother who is an amazing women the thanks for everything she stands for as a mother and grandmother. I did dinner at my house for her. And my son helped cook breakfast. But the day is always about what you make of it.

I agree if you don't have a husband or a friend or another family member who takes the initative to make the day special for you it is can be a let down kind of day. I make a point of telling my kids that I am off duty and that all questions and meals are their dad's responsibility, it's mothers day and I want to be the fun parent for once. Then I sleep in, read my book and play with them, and leave the parenting to my Husband. I do the same on my Birthday.

Hope next mom's day goes better for you!!!

Julia Ward Howe, founder of the Girl Scouts, also founded Mother's Day. Here's a bit of history... I hope it makes you understand Mother's Day more... A friend sent this to me:

Julia Ward Howe was committed to abolishing war and the loss of sons...
and the work still goes on even today by mothers who don't want to
lose sons and daughters in senseless wars...

Blessed are the peacemakers - Jesus

Mothers' Day Proclamation: Julia Ward Howe, Boston, 1870

Mother's Day was originally started after the Civil War, as a protest
to the carnage of that war, by women who had lost their
sons. Here is the original Mother's Day Proclamation from 1870,
followed by a bit of history (or should I say "herstory"):

......................................

Arise, then, women of this day! Arise all women who have hearts,
whether our baptism be that of water or of fears!

Say firmly: "We will not have great questions decided by
irrelevant agencies. Our husbands shall not come to us, reeking
with carnage, for caresses and applause. Our sons shall not be
taken from us to unlearn all that we have been able to teach
them of charity, mercy and patience.

We women of one country will be too tender of those of another
country to allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. From
the bosom of the devastated earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says "Disarm, Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance
of justice."

Blood does not wipe our dishonor nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plow and the anvil at the summons
of war, let women now leave all that may be left of home for a
great and earnest day of counsel. Let them meet first, as women,
to bewail and commemorate the dead.

Let them then solemnly take counsel with each other as to the
means whereby the great human family can live in peace, each
bearing after their own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar,
but of God.

In the name of womanhood and of humanity, I earnestly ask that a
general congress of women without limit of nationality may be
appointed and held at some place deemed most convenient and at
the earliest period consistent with its objects, to promote the
alliance of the different nationalities, the amicable settlement
of international questions, the great and general interests of
peace.

Julia Ward Howe
Boston
1870

My own way of celebrating Mother's Day is to spend the day thanking God for my children and that He has given me the chance to be a mother. So many women are unable to have children for one reason or another, or lose their children in tragic circumstances. When I put my focus on gratitude, anything else my family does is a blessing. I have found that to be more effective for me than spending the day being a martyr about all that I have to do, *sigh* even on Mother's Day. This works for every holiday for me. On my birthday, I am grateful for my life and the wonderful people in it. On New Year, I am thankful for a new year. On Valentine's Day, I am thankful for the opportunities I have to love and be loved. You get the picture. Just throw away expectations and love your life! :) Congratulations on your sons and your soon-to -be born little one!

It helped me to learn the day was created as a way to remember those who have died in war - Everyone is a Mother's Child. I celebrate my personal Mother's Day on the days I gave birth to my kids :D On Mother's Day, I stand with other mothers in hopes no one ever has to lose their child to war again. Standingwomen.org may help shift your perspective :)

Well, I'm kind of with you and the gal that said "get over it". I mean, yes - I did many of the same things that I do every day. But what you mentioned about Mother's Day is how some people feel about Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and July 4 and President's Day and MLK Day and and and and (also days that I still do Mommy things)....

Depending on the holiday, it all has to do with you, your faith, your patriotism - whatever. The point about Mother's Day is that society is saying, "hey, we get that you do a lot for us all and we'd just like to acknowledge it because the other 364 days of the year it's going to be a given that you will change the toilet paper roll, pick up my shoes, make sure I eat my vegetables, teach me to read and how to generally be a good person so that I will go out into the world and make it better one day at a time."

So instead of making fun of a day that has been dedicated to you and making a point of NOT expecting something, why don't you call your Mom or send her a prayer (depending where she is), do this same for your Grandma and be just so grateful that you are able to be a part of something that is so much bigger than you - which is being one link in a chain.

Okay, this is probably going to be harsh, but here it goes anyway - Get over it! Mother's Day is not about not having to do anything. I did dishes, laundry, changed diapers and poopy panties (3 times- we're potty training) and STILL had a wonderful day! It's as much about family and being together. Just the fact that your family took an extra five minutes to tell you they appreciate all you do for them should be enough to make it a banner day! It's definitely what you make of it!

E.,

Do you know how to make yourself happy and to ask how others can make you happy and undestand the value of appreciation for caring and sometimes selfless work? Do you understand the value that you have to your family and that you represent a large population of woman(possibly sisters or our own mothers), grandmothers, and yes even stay at home dads that support children like teachers, and take the time to think about what they are doing right? The real question is do you know why you value what you do? If this is true, I think it's fine that you don't feel you need this one day to reflect this to yourself or others.

Take Care,
G.

Hi E.,
I too have mixed feelings about Mother's Day...no, you are not alone! On the one hand, I love it and honor the mothers in my life. On the other, I secretly wish I could have a splendid day but honestly I know that is not going to happen, unless I plan it and execute it, and then I'd be exhausted...so I just let it go. I enjoy what I can, and definitely don't place too much emphasis on it, because I am sure to be disappointed if I do. I agree that too many expectations is sure to be a disaster.

This year I have been sick so much that now I am feeling better, I actually got up early to make breakfast for all my kids! My teen-hormone-ridden stepson was rude to me, and never said happy Mother's Day, but I ignored him. I could have let it ruin my day, but why? My stepdaughter and I made a cake and gathered flowers for her mom (who dislikes me), but again why let it ruin my day? I was happy to spend time with my girl and see her happy. My five-year-old son had made me something at school which he forgot to give me until I nudged him several times - and even though I know every other kindergarten mother got something similar, I still cried. My husband got me a card, a CD, and a set of beautiful earrings which are lost somewhere...and I will probably discover them someday wedged in some obscure location around the house and laugh. My three-year-old and one-year-old are too young to "get it". So with all that, it seemed like just another day. I bought myself a hanging plant, and vowed to treat myself to something like a manicure when we can afford it...which may never happen!

Just a little interesting history about Mother's Day...seems Anna Jarvis was on your wavelength!

Contrary to popular belief, Mothers' Day was not conceived and fine - tuned in the boardroom of Hallmark.

In the United States Mothers' Day started nearly 150 years ago, when Anna Jarvis, an Appalachian homemaker, organized a day to raise awareness of poor health conditions in her community, a cause she believed would be best advocated by mothers. She called it "Mothers' Work Day."

Fifteen years later, Julia Ward Howe, a Boston poet, pacifist, suffragist, and author of the lyrics to the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," organized a day encouraging mothers to rally for peace, since she believed they bore the loss of human life more harshly than anyone else.

In 1905 when Anna Jarvis died, her daughter, also named Anna, began a campaign to memorialize the life work of her mother. Legend has it that young Anna remembered a Sunday school lesson that her mother gave in which she said, "I hope and pray that someone, sometime, will found a memorial Mothers' Day. There are many days for men, but none for mothers."

Anna began to lobby prominent businessmen like John Wannamaker, and politicians including Presidents Taft and Roosevelt to support her campaign to create a special day to honour mothers. At one of the first services organized to celebrate Anna's mother in 1908, at her church in West Virginia, Anna handed out her mother's favorite flower, the white carnation. Five years later, the House of Representatives adopted a resolution calling for officials of the federal government to wear white carnations on Mothers' Day. In 1914 Anna's hard work paid off when Woodrow Wilson signed a bill recognizing Mothers' Day as a national holiday.

At first, people observed Mothers' Day by attending church, writing letters to their mothers, and eventually, by sending cards, presents, and flowers. With the increasing gift-giving activity associated with Mothers' Day, Anna Jarvis became enraged. She believed that the day's sentiment was being sacrificed at the expense of greed and profit. In 1923 she filed a lawsuit to stop a Mothers' Day festival, and was even arrested for disturbing the peace at a convention selling carnations for a war mother's group. Before her death in 1948, Jarvis is said to have confessed that she regretted ever starting the Mothers' Day tradition.

Despite Jarvis's misgivings, Mothers' Day has flourished. In fact, the second Sunday of May has become the most popular day of the year to dine out, and telephone lines record their highest traffic, as sons and daughters everywhere take advantage of this day to honor and to express appreciation of their Mothers.

Hey E.! Your entry made me laugh! This Mother's Day was a bummer for me too as my husband had to work, but I really think that Mothers Day is for your children to celebrate you. My husband has done a good job the past few years, but yes, you really never get to stop being mom, especially with young children. I think it will be different when my children are older and they get it. But for now, I am happy with the thank-yous and kisses (and sometimes more) from my husband and children:-) Your household could not function well without you! I always tell my husband that I would rather have days throughout the year that he gives me breaks rather than waiting for Mother's Day and Valentine's Day! It kinda takes the pressure off him!

Hi E.,
Oh how I remember feeling like you do about Mother's Day. That is exactly how you feel when your children are young and you are so responsible. Remember, you are not your hubbies mom. Your children don't really grasp what they should do to honor you. It isn't really as important as you feel it is right now. They will grow and it will be very important to them and it will be less important to you. I have always felt that Mothers Day was the day I chose to do what I wanted to do that day. Sometimes it was just get the morning dishes done and then go out and finally stain the house or take a walk or just take a nap if I felt like it. Granted, your husband has to agree to be in charge for a while but, they are usually willing since it's really not that big a deal. Just accept those Happy Mother's Day greetings willingly from whoever thinks to say it and get on with how great you feel, really, being a mom. It is all so much more rewarding. Don't do everyday tasks that only make you feel sorry for yourself. I remember doing that and then it occurred to me that some day my small children would grow and it would be important to them and it is. But, no one in my family goes crazy over Mother's Day. A phone call these days is great to get but, if everyone is busy with their family or just their life and couldn't make that call today maybe you can talk tomorrow for a few minutes. Remember, Mother's Day is only important, really, to the people who sell flowers and cards. Mom's are just happy to be with their families or maybe have a minute to themselves (we all feel different about that). I thought the trophy was a great idea. Pretty creative and sweet present from your husband. Maybe next year you'll get a card from Brody that he makes himself. Now that will really be special but, don't expect one unless he's in preschool at the time. Hope you get my drift about this whole idea. I know it kind of hurts. Don't let it. It will all change:o) Happy Belated Mom's Day.

Dear E., You are NOT alone! When you're a mom, there is never a holiday. When you're a mom of really, YOUNG children it's REALLY not a holiday! Take heart though, as your children grow and start bringing you home adorable art work or poetry for Mother's Day, you will be grateful for the "holiday". My oldest child just turned 30 on Saturday, and I have a poem she wrote about me (eraser marks and all) framed and hanging in my bedroom. It still makes me cry and laugh at the same time, after all of these years. It was a precious Mother's Day gift from her to me. I think that holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day are a chance for kids to learn about honoring their parents. Children really love making their parents hand-made gifts too. My husband has more clay paper weights than the law should allow, and some of them are a complete mystery as to what they are. I tell you truly, there will be Mother's Day memories you will make in the future that will bring joyful tears to your eyes. I promise! In the meantime, while your children are so little, the work and stress of childrearing and homemaking will be exhausting, but worth every minute of it. By the way, kudos to your husband for giving you a trophy. What a great idea. God Bless you and your family! S. Teague P.S. Happy Mother's Day EVERYDAY to you!

Why aren't your husband and children helping you with the household chores such as laundry and cleanup, not just on Mother's Day, but every day! I thought this was 2008, not 1808.

I think Mother's Day is more for small kids doing for Mom then for hubby giving a present to his wife. It's so special when kids are old enough to make a gift for Mom, buy a perfume or pin that your would never wear or try to make breakfast that's a disaster. My daugher is much older now so although we were together for Mom's Day it didn't feel any different than any other day. I am lucky that she lives in the area, I see her often and we talk almost daily.

However, haven't said all that I believe that there's a lot of hype for holidays. Get the best card, check the name off the gift list, forget the budget. I think it's up to you and yours to establish how the holidays will be celebrated in your family. Some will be important and others not. Try not to buy into how society says you must feel. If you don't like Mother's Day then HAPPY SUNDAY! E.

I think you are entitled to your opinion but the way my family celebrates mothers day is that I get breakfast in bed I do no chores and I get a day to do whatever I want. Yesterday I went to have coffee with a fellow mother and did some shopping. I then had my husband cook dinner and was treated like a queen all day. I did not get gifts from the younger child but did get one from my 19 year old son who told me how much he loves me. It was a great day!!

First I must say that this holiday was not invented by card companies or florists, look it up it is quite a nice story actually.
What is made out of Mother's Day is what the husband/kids put into it. If you keep your expectations low you can't be disapointed. I have an AWESOME husband that really makes Mother's Day wonderful... hard to best him on Father's Day though!
It is what you make it. Even if he may not do anything (or may do the wrong thing) that does not me you can't do anything... put in a movie for the kids while you take a break and have a bath or read a book or call a friend. Do it for yourself and take it for what it is, enjoying the moment without guilt. If nothing else call your own Mom and say you love her, it will go along way.
P.S. I did dishes on Mother's Day too, I'm just glad I have a family to clean up after.

Mother's Day was invented by card companies to sell cards. I personally prefer the genuine gestures of appreciation that I offer and receive from my family throughout the year. And, that said, I know that some people do better having the reminder of a day to dote on their mothers. Really, there is no right or wrong, good or bad here. It is merely being comfortable in your own skin and following your heart--and allowing your families to follow theirs.

My thoughts on setting up expectations: my husband is brilliant and thoughtful and insightfully funny. AND He has no capacity to remember or cause the kinds of gifts or celebrations I would like. Years ago, I realized that I could either get upset and make him wrong for this--or--I could love him for who he is and not for who he isn't and let him know if there is something specific that I want. Life is much easier when I set him up to win--then we both win.

E.-

No, you're not the only one who ended up with "just another day" on Mother's Day. Not only can we not afford to go out to eat, my husband has to work most Sundays. I got a card and a couple of small things (candles, a CD...), but spent most of the day doing the same mommy stuff I do every day. I did, however, give myself permission to eat chocolate and play Sudoku during nap time (lol).

I like the idea of a day to acknowlege the hard work that moms do (since we don't get a paycheck). And giving our spouses a chance to remember that moms do work hard, too. But it's become so commercialized that it's taken all the fun out of it.

Happy Sunday to you!

-B.-

Hi E.,

In a way, like you, I think "yeah, mother's day is just another day", but that's because the day I knew I was pregnant with my first baby, I became a mom, and when she was born, from that day on, every day was mother's day. Does that make sense?

As a wife and mom, we all have things we're obligated to do, as well as things we want to do. Why should that change on the second Sunday of May? Acknowledgement and appreciation from others is nice, but if you know deep down in your heart you're doing all you can to be the best wife and mother you can be, then your own self-confidence and recognition should be an awesome reward to yourself. Like someone else said, if you need more help from your husband or a "day off," he might just need to hear it and the two of you plan it together, but if not, tell him you need a day off, then take one. Someone else said that like any day, it's what you make of it.

Yesterday, my kids presented me with cards reflective of all their personalities, my youngest gave me a stuffed lion(why, I don't know, but she likes lions, so maybe she's hoping to end up his "keeper" later lol), and my older kids gave me a toaster oven because my son heard me say once that I wished I had one lol. Again, I'm trying to make sense of the toaster oven because I have absolutely *no* space whatsoever on the counters for one, but I now know they listen to me at least *some* of the time. Not, of course, yesterday night when I told them I wanted everything off the floors in their rooms so I could shampoo the carpets today <sigh> LOL. But I know sometimes, they do listen, and think of me. :o)

Then, they made me breakfast and we all ate together, and I spent the day all day lying on the bed watching HGTV because I had the worst migraine(have been fighting one for 4 days now). And for dinner, my hubs made my current fave dinner--enchiladas!

Last week I spent most of the week missing my mom, or the idea of having one, anyway, and trying not to be envious of all the people out there who have one, especially one thay can go to for stuff, ya know? And trying like heck not to miss her yesterday. She passed away when I was 15, and her and I had never had a decent mother/daughter relationship until I was 13(she had been abusive until then). I miss what could have been all that time, and what could have been after she passed. For about a year, she was a wonderful mom, and then another year I spent nursing her as she died.

Anyhoo, I'd have loved to have a relaxing massage to try and get rid of this headache, but the toaster oven and lion were nice gestures, and I also realize that my children have always been wonderful gifts in my life, they're awesome, if typical kids, and I wouldn't change anything I have to do for them for anything in the world, not even for a spa day, although one here and there would be nice.

Sorry so long, and since today is mother's day for us all,

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!! :o)

K. W

I think it is just another day too. I unfortunately didn't even get to give my mom a call (but then I talk to her almost everyday) I spent my day along with other trooper moms volunteering as stage crew for our kids community play of Grease Jr. We were working, there was no time for brunch or dinner or lunch besides Pizza, and then we struck the set. But we had fun, and we were with family, and we were laughing, and our kids all told us how much they love us. I don't think there has to be a party for me for Mothers Day. My family shows me they appreciate me all year long, and I prefer that to the one day a year.

Hang in there, E. and rest assured, you're not the only one. In fact I'm a nut when it comes to laundry and I don't want anyone else doing it for me. I like to cook and do it well, so that doesn't bother me, either. (Although a little help with the kitchen after dinner would have been nice, but they can't cram the dishwasher like I can) If someone would have offered to vacuum or clean the bathroom, I wouldn't have complained, but I like the way I do those tasks, too, and I know nobody would have complained had I chosen to do nothing-but that's not so easy for me to do. So I guess for me, it's A choice thing. I did have a wonderful Mother's Day in spite of the fact that it wasn't really a day off for me.
Funny how it works-I bet dollars to donuts my husband will be taking HIS day off next month...but what the heck?

P.S.~I think Hallmark comes up with most of these 'silly' days and the rest of the marketers and retailers support it.
Don't let it bother you-they're with us and they're going to happen:~>

Holidays are not very important to me. As you said we still have the same old routine as a mother. Holidays like Christmas mean a whole lot more work. And the major holidays carry expectations to celebrate big. I've said, "bah, humbug?" often.

But now I pretty much ignore most holidays. I do what I want. Yes, I give gifts for Christmas and birthdays. And try to do so on the day. That is still pressure. Other than that I plan the day so that I can enjoy not only the day but the people with whom I'm sharing it.

This year I ignored my birthday to the chagrin of my friends. One friend, whose birthday is near mine, suggested that we celebrate for the entire month. This felt good. Each of us did 2-3 things that we hadn't done during the year with each other. We made an effort to do them because we're still celebrating. No pressure, no deadlines, a gift or card is on time anytime that month.

I'd like to try making a Mother's Day or Father's Day celebration last the whole year. Anytime someone wants to let the parent know that they're appreciated they can arrange to do something with them, give them a card, draw a picture, fix a meal, do the dishes etc. and say, "Happy Mother's Day."

Today, I cooked dinner and watched my grandkids to celebrate Mother's Day for my daughter. She cleaned up. It was a great day. We didn't plan ahead; just did what we felt like doing as the day went along.

I'm sorry that you don't have someone to do the mother stuff so that you could relax. Could your husband be the mother for a day? I suspect he's one of the men who separates women's work and men's work. My father was but later in life he did do the cooking and cleaning on Mother's Day as well as at other times. Have you told your husband that you would like for him to do some extra things for you and for himself on Mother's Day. He could cook a simple meal and clean up afterwards. He could watch the kids while you go for a walk, watch TV, read, or do anything that you enjoy. It's possible he just doesn't think to do that sort of thing.

The library was open today. It's not so expensive if one person goes to the movie. Perhaps you have a friend without children who would like to hang out with you. Or 2 families get together with the husbands doing the work and the mothers playing.

Why are you doing laundry and cleaning up the living areas on Mother's DAy? Perhaps you would feel less let down if you planned the day to go the way you wanted it to go and then asked your husband to help make it happen. Even if he doesn't help you could declare this a holiday for yourself and only do what is absolutely necessary. Work in something fun for yourself.

I'm not big on holidays but I do use them to my advantage by ignoring them so that I can do something else (for my birthday I slept in, stayed in my jammies all day and watched TV) or by planning them so that I enjoy them.

I hear you! I've spent too many Mother's Days doing mother jobs. That is not much fun. I encourage you to find a way to have more fun.

yup. Just came home from work. I don't bah humbug but eh. I do like christmas and thanksgiving but I think it's just because I like to have big busy households.

Mother's day is different for everyone. For some it is some homemade presents from the kids and that's it. Other mothers get to go to day spas, and some go to dinner. My mother-in-law has been going to teas and brunches the last two weekends. It is what you make of it. My friend decided to clean the house the day before as a gift to herself and then we made scrapbook pages together. Set your expectations lower than what you think they will be so you won't be dissapointed.

I'm sorry you haven't gotten the loving attention you deserve on a day of thanks to mothers. It didn't start as a "Hallmark Holiday", as others have pointed out. For me, Mother's Day started out 18 years ago with a special multicultural celebration in honor of the Great Mother that we performed in Golden Gate Park with about 12 different performing groups in coalition. I performed with my six month old daughter on my hip and felt very connected with all mothers, ancient and modern. As someone who has studied midwifery ever since, and has been at many births, I just want to let you ALL know that I honor who you are and what you do!

I did spend about 10 years after that first Mother's Day running a craft business with my husband (now my ex-husband, but that's another story). Because weekends were our work days, I spent Mother's Day at the Portland Saturday Market most years, but because of the nature of the work, I also was part of the celebration each year (we sold juggle sticks--not your typical Mother's Day present, so we weren't part of the commercialism of it all, though some moms thought it was great fun to play with their kids with us!).

My husband, and since him, my current partner, have always been very sweet and sentimental--and my daughters have been wonderful, too. So my Mother's Day tradition has developed...
I get to sleep as late as I want, then they serve me coffee in bed with the Sunday paper, which I read cover to cover while they make a special breakfast of pancakes with Euphoria chocolate sauce and fruit. I can't remember exactly when it started, but the girls decided I was to be crowned "Queen Fairy", and they also decorate our old easy chair as a "throne" and toss flower petals as I walk to it. Then they give presents--usually that they made themselves. My 14 year old drew a portrait of herself and both sisters, and gave me a ceramic bowl shaped like a flower she made at school. My 9 year old painted a beautiful watercolor with something she wrote herself about how special she thinks I am.
It's my day to have NO fights between siblings, get to go for a walk in the local arboretum or if the weather is bad, a movie, with my whole family, and not do any housework!

Why not!?! My eldest daughter, with chronic pain through her entire adolescence, plus anger, anxiety, depression and other sequealea from that, had me giving her one thousand percent for years trying to get her well, and back on track while watching her nearly self-destruct! During that time, she usually repaid me by calling me names I would never repeat here. Yesterday, she planned to come over for the breakfast, but was really sick (I was,too, actually). But she called me and wished me a happy day, apologized sincerely for not being able to get out of bed, and said she would like to make it up to me! That in itself was the most amazing gift from her!

I think we DESERVE to be honored and loved for what we give all year and all their lives! I continue to love and honor my mother. I think it's a beautiful thing--although I agree that nobody needs it to be commercialized.

Blessings to all of you!
Fiora

The best mother's days I ever has were when my kids were in the pre-school and early primary. The best gifts were the ones they made me in school. I loved the Mother's Day Teas we would have the week before at the pre-school. Those were the best. Now I get "breakfast in bed" (Hot Pockets) or a call when they are out with Grandpa Fishing. Teenagers still remember but, it isn't as cute.
There is nothing that makes me smile more than a hug and the proud smile of a child that has made something for me.

I have always felt the same as you-If you need a "special" day to tell me how important I am or appreciative you are of me then I dont want it. You should be able to show me this any day throughout the year. Then someone told me that men need days like this because they need a reminder of some sort. Men aren't thoughtful. So I was just like whatever. But yes to anwser your question I do end up cleaning and all that on Mothers Day. I was able to sleep in and my husband brought me breakfast in bed (on Saturday because we were gonna be up early for church on Sunday) and then I didn't have to cook dinner on Sunday night-he made BLTs. Nothing is more special though than your 3 year old running up the stairs holding a bouquet of flowers screaming happy mudders day. remember just because its Mothers day doesnt mean we get a day off-its not a job. We have to keep moving on.

Why would you post this? What's the point in doing so? Exactly what you are trying to accomplish I don't know. It seems kind of selfish to put what you wrote out there because it's like you did it to feel better about your self and to put down others. It doesn't make any sense to me. I thought this was a forum to help solve mommy issues and problems, not to put others down becuase you don't like Mother's Day. Feel free to keep such negative thoughts to yourself next time. Or if you need to vent do it to close personal friends or family instead of putting it out there to hundreds of women you may offend.

I am right there with you!!

It was just another day for me, and this was my first Mother's Day. I had to clean the house while my husband mowed the lawn, then came in and sat on the couch and watched TV for the rest of the morning. We then had a co-worker from his work with his wife over for dinner (which I ended up cooking) and all I got was a Happy Mother's Day from him.

Though I did get to take a bath last night and read some pages in my book. Before my daughter woke up screaming in the office. Needless to say, it was just another Sunday for me.

I despise holidays like this, there's no real point to them when we end up having to do the same thing as we did the day before. You can thank the media for glorifying the problem!

That is too funny, and I'm so glad I'm not the only one that feels that way! I guess I just never really said it outloud...I LOVE having a day to celebrate Moms and all we do, but like you said, it ends up being a disappointment, because I think Moms just get the short end of the stick when it comes to actual recognition for all we do. I'm hoping for some creative gift from Daddy and the kids, but nope. I get a gift, but it doesn't seem like much thought was put into it. I'd actually just love a nice little letter or card, or hey, even just a note scribbled on a piece of paper saying, "You're a wonderful Mom and we appreciate you!"....I do know I'm loved and I do know my hubby knows how much I do, but it would just be nice to HEAR it more often...Maybe that's too much to ask...please tell me it's not just MY hubby? And like you, I continued to do my usual routine of taking care of everyone and all their needs...laundry, dinner, baths, bed, etc, etc, etc. I think I would rather have a little more recognition throughout the year, than just one hyped up day, ya know? I try to do that with my Mom too. I guess so that I don't get disappointed expecting a big to-do about the day, I'm just trying to take a little time, especially on THIS day (and everyday)to focus on how very blessed I am to be a Mom and have two healthy, beautiful kids :) I guess, for me, it's becoming a day for ME, as a MOM, to celebrate BEING a MOM ;) And that's a good thing too... Happy "I love being a Mom" Day!

Hi E.,
You may change the way you feel about Mother's day when your kids are older and make you homemade gift's. No store bought gift can ever compare to one made from the little hands of your child. You don't have to make a big day about it, just make it a relaxing family day together, and worry about your chores the day after.

Some years I feel that way. This year I was prepared for nothing and got a nice surprise - brunch made, a gift, card, flowers and a break from my usual - he had the kids and I left the house. So, next year, take the day off!! Go hang out with friends that don't have kids. You don't have to spend money, but use the day as an excuse to NOT pick up the house and take care of the kids... It's a much needed DAY OFF!

I think it's great that we take a day to celebrate our mothers. I usually take it as a day to relax - this year my husband went out with the kids and got me a mocha to go with my breakfast in bed. (He made me scrambled eggs and toast.) Then we all sat around and played games before an appointment I had to get a pedicure - some time away from the kids to relax and refresh. Then we ordered pizza for dinner because it's not fun to go out with our kids so little. For my mum and mother-in-law, I made brunch for them at my house on Saturday and got them each a card, a small bunch of flowers, and framed pics of our kids. It's just a nice way to say thanks - we appreciate you. We should say it everyday, but we don't always so it's nice to have a special day. Hope you take the time to relax and be appreciated next year - mothering is hard work as well as a wonderful gift... you deserve to be celebrated once in awhile!

I agree that some holidays force people to honor the people or events which need recognition more than just once a year!

We celebrated by having my husbands parents over for a BBQ - we exchanged cards 7 just enjoyed eachothers company. I got a little preferential treatment - but no breakfast in bed like I keep hoping for.

I'd prefer to have nice things done for me when I don't expect them!

***Ignore the responses that put you down!
This forum is for women/parents to vent & know they are not alone in their thoughts! If someone does not share your thoughts or does not understand they shouldn't try to make you feel bad.

i'm right there with you! i think the holiday was made for men who don't appreciate their wives. back in the day there were many more SAHM who worked so hard to not be appreciated by their hubby when they came home from a long day at the office. nowadays, i think men get it. plus, there are many women in the workforce now so men have to contribute. i know we still do a larger share of the work but hoenstly, if we just do it, isn't it done right to begin with? :)

but i have to admit, i LOVE it when my kids bring home their handmade gifts for mom's day. that's the best part of the holiday.

happy sunday to you E.!

If you look at the original intention of the holiday--be happy you have children who are safe, and not headed off to war!

I hate to be so blunt, but you sound very bitter. Don't place expectations on it at all, unless you plan on being open minded about it, or helping to guide the day your way (tell your husband and kids EXACTLY what you want/expect). I used some time alone to do very "household" type chores--but I didn't mind at all because I rarely get those moments these days! Plus, I made sure to budget my time so I could still hang out and play.

My husband and toddler took me to breakfast somewhere we go all the time, got me a card at the last minute, and a very odd plant. Not the most "thoughtful" gifts, but still--they were from the two people I love the most every day of my life...which means I cherish them!

My daughter's day care provider made me a cement heart with my daughter's hand prints in it...be-still my heart! I would love to do things like that if I had more time, but thank God she did! Maybe you can make yourself feel better by doing something sentimental and everlasting (a keepsake) with your boys? Have them draw a picture of you--how they see you, or your entire family. Do something to help remind yourself how amazing your kids are and how precious being a mother really is (dirt, messy house, and all!).

haha, i am with you E.! mother's day, along with valentine's day seem so commercialized (sp?)... we can afford to go out to eat, but why would you want to deal with the crowds, and not to mention the prices hiked up by restaurants just for the occasion!

i told my husband all i need is a homemade card, maybe a couple extra hours of sleep, and to spend the day together. just make it your own! start your own traditions and it may become something more meaningful.

btw, you don't have to "get over it" i think lots of mommies feel the same as we do.

i'm right there with you. i went into yesterday with absolutley no expectations. i was surprised by a sleep-in, but other than that, it was a typical sunday. low expectations mean less hurt in the end. ~s

My Dear E.~
I JUST read through this post, and the responses you got...and this one (that I am copying and pasting below) GOT to me, and made ME ANGRY.

"Why would you post this? What's the point in doing so? Exactly what you are trying to accomplish I don't know. It seems kind of selfish to put what you wrote out there because it's like you did it to feel better about your self and to put down others. It doesn't make any sense to me. I thought this was a forum to help solve mommy issues and problems, not to put others down becuase you don't like Mother's Day. Feel free to keep such negative thoughts to yourself next time. Or if you need to vent do it to close personal friends or family instead of putting it out there to hundreds of women you may offend."

This board is for ALL OF US to be able to VENT our frustrations, and share common gound, to know that we are NOT ALONE in this crazy thing called MOTHERHOOD, and the author of this "real nice note" (copied & pasted for our "reading benefit") is OFF HER ROCKER.
I just wanted to write, and let you know that you are not alone. When our kids were all little, it was a ZOO in my house, I did twice as much work on Mother's Day, and it got me exhausted. I used to WISH that they would just learn to CLEAN the house (or at least their stinky rooms)-I used to wish for a FREE ALL DAY BABYSITTER, so I could go and get a massage (but of course, I couldn't afford THAT when they were little...)

Now that they are all out of the house, I really do miss them, but my gift now, is that I have great memories, and they all call me for advice, because I was "such an awesome mom". That always surprises me, and they tell me this when I least expect it. THAT is the gift. The unconditional gift of love that is unique between mothers and children. Don't worry about restaurants, or fancy gifts--I'm with you; they just aren't necessary.
For what it's worth, my mom and I live in Salem, but because I had surgery, I hadn't seen her in 2-3 months. SO, for mother's day, I picked a GOB of flowers from my yard, and they all smelled SO good, and went to her house in my jammies. She just laughed-and we were so relaxed, smelling the lovely flowers, and we got to lay down and talk all day long. It was GREAT for both of us. THAT was our gift to each other.

Don't take personally, what "others" (i.e. the person whose post is at the top of this page) have said in a negative light. They are obviously lacking in the ability to enjoy life and to be able to discern the difference between someone asking for advice,sharing an experience and someone just griping.
They have probably never been "broke", so to speak (meaning, without EXTRA money to go out and blow on something extravagant)
That is the sign of a very angry person.
I am so sorry that you had to read something like THAT, because, as I said before, this board is for ALL MOMMIES, and for ALL REASONS.
Hugs to you E....it WILL get better!!!

Yep. I agree with you. It's a way to boost card and flower sales. (And how come the Father's Day gifts are so cool?!?! I think flowers are a waste of money - and would much rather see them growing in the garden than dying in a vase!)

I asked my hubby to take all three boys out of the house for the day (Saturday) and bring home take-out from Outback Steakhouse. I didn't want him stressing over trying to do anything . . . I just thought it would be lovely to have a day to myself and figured my boys would enjoy spending the day together. It was a win-win!

(My hubby had to leave town on business on Sunday - so Saturday was my "selfish" day.

I know someone who chose to be a daughter for mother's day instead of a mother. She took her mom out and they spent the day together.

I think that we would be surprised how much we would get out of a day to honor mother's, if we would be willing to give instead of expecting to receive.

I don't have any expectations of the day. I don't really need one day to be rewarded for being a mom. I however appreciate what others do for me. My husband fixed the towel rack in the bathroom because he knew that was something I wanted done. He made dinner with my sons for me and my mom while I was at work. I appreciated it and enjoyed it. I was asked to stop at the store on the way home from work to pick up a few things for it and did some straightening up before work. That's ok,that's life and I enjoyed the day. I like celebrations in general. Money doesn't have to be spent to celebrate.
It is a very commercial holiday and we should celebrate on any given day we choose, not what is dictated by others. I would have appreciated my husbands efforts on another day as well.

I just found this- I totally agree with you! I remember growing up, and celebrating where my mother truly got a day of relaxing. We didn't do anything major but make breakfast and spend time together.
It seems now a days since I'm a mom, and have 2 other mothers to 'take care of' on this day that it gets out of hand. I ended up in the kitchen with my father doing everything AGAIN! :P I felt I just added another 2 days(getting the house ready for company) of hard work to my plate, the added stress and some far fetched idea that my husband might show his appreciation (big joke)for my mothering of our child. Anyways. The whole day became a disappointment. The only person that seemed to try to make the day nice was my brother in laws partner. He actually asked me to leave the kitchen (after a couple hours) and sit down. He cleaned my dishwasher- he knew the true meaning of what moms want! :D heh

So anyways- I'm sorry if you got some dumping, but there are those of us that aren't as luckily as others to have those supportive people in our lives that make that day what we hope it would be for us.

Can you spell HALLMARK.

D. P.

Mother of four.

E., I think that as your kids get older you will see the benefits of "Mother's Day."I do not think that i look atit as a day for me but more that the kids get soexcited for what they are going to do for me and what they make at school to bring home. Your kids will bring alot to the day as they get older.
There are very good "Mother's day's to come.....I promise. L.

I completely agree with you. I still did all the normal stuff on Mother's Day, including making dinner for my mom and sister, and changing ALL of the diapers. It's nice to have a day where the focus is on appreciating Mom, but I do think that people get a bit carried away. My mother-in-law sent me a card, my own mom got me a gift, and my sister got me a ton of gifts. I have a hard time accepting all of it since I can't reciprocate due to finances, but they all tell me to just enjoy and that they do it because they appreciate me. My solution to getting too excited is to try to make it about other people - like your own mom. I always feel better when I am doing things for others anyway.