Mother of Twins

Updated on April 14, 2009
M.E. asks from Longmeadow, MA
9 answers

Hi, I am a SAHM with 15 month old twin girls. My husband and I are talking about having a third child and I was wondering if there was anyone who has had another child after having twins. We would like are third child to be born when our girls are around 2 1/2 years old. I'm just hoping I'm not taking on more than I can handle. I want to make sure I'm able to give my girls the time and attention they need as there are already two of them. I come from a family of three and love having siblings and would like my daughters to grow up with other children as well. Any advice on having another baby after having twins? Thank you.

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for your responses. My husband and I have decided to start trying for our next pregnancy later in the year and look forward to our twins becoming older sisters. I to believe you are given what you can handle and I know we have a lot to be thankful for and a lot to look forward to.
Thank you!

More Answers

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N.D.

answers from New York on

I would think it would be easier to have a baby with twins, the girls will keep themselves company while you are with the baby and you will have twice as much help. Of course you will be able to handle 3 of them.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
I don't have twins, but my own way of thinking would be if I were having another baby after twins, that I'd space the 3rd the way I'd have spaced my 3rd if it were three singletons - so if I was planning 3 kids in 5 years, I'd have the 3rd baby when the older two were 5.

Good luck whatever you decide. There's no right solution for every family! I have a friend who had twins in August and is due with another baby in late September.

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K.H.

answers from Utica on

Hi M.
Congrats on your twins. Trust they are well, and healthy and developing well.
My thoughts as mother of twins, with older siblings.
Go to the OB and check to be sure you are healthy. Funny but true story. I was in the mall one day when my girls were about 3. I saw a lady with 3 little ones in the cart. I hated people to ask are they twins, so I learned to say "how old are they" I really couldn't tell if they were triplets or twins and a single, or three singles. I was so confused and I guess a bit nosy so I asked. In the end she said the twins were 15 mo, and the baby was 8 mo. She said that the single was born at 7 mo because her body just couldn't nourish the infant. OB said she should have waited longer after depleting her body of the nourishment for the twins. She never checked with her OB first, but as she said she just didn't think she would get pg that quickly.
Since I had my twins at 40 when my boys were 19 & 14 there was no way I was having more. In fact, it was a miracle I was pg with the twins.
I know another family that had 2 sets of twins and then a set of triplets, before the first set of twins was in K. She had some genetic testing that proved she would not ever have a single.
Lots of stories.
With God all things are possible.
God gives us the strength to do the jobs he gives us, as we ask Him.
God bless you and give you peace as you make decisions
K. SAHM married 38 years === adult children 37, 33, and 18.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
I am a SAHM and had a son 2 years after my twins were born, and it's been wonderful. Actually, I have 4 children...an 8 year old boy, 5 year old b/g twins, and a 3 year old boy. Of course it was difficult in the beginning, trying to balance everyone's needs, but I believe God gives you what you can handle. You'd be amazed by what you can do! I must also say that I had my parents living close by to help out too, which was such a blessing for all. I did think that after the twins, a single baby would be no problem, especially to breastfeed. But I found it was sometimes hard to do it all, and I eventually supplemented my breastfeeding/pumping with formula. In the end, we're so happy we had our 4th child, and it kinda took some of the attention off the twins, which was good. The 2-year age difference is great since the twins and my youngest son have the same interests and they can play together nicely. There's a bigger gap between our oldest and the twins (3-1/2 years) and that's been more difficult since their interests are different and the older one likes to play "parent" to the younger ones (but that's a whole different story!) Good luck to you in your decision, M.. I wish you and your growing family a happy life together!

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M., Many people have another child after twins. You are only 30 years old. You can do it. If you and your husband agree, hopefully he will help. I had 5 very close. The first was 2 1/2 when the 3rd was born. There was no question. I just did it! In fact if you made it through twins you are the best! Good wishes, Grandma Mary

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M.B.

answers from Hartford on

I don't know anything about having more children after twins, but I do not the feeling of is there enough of me to go around when you add to the family. It always seems to work out. Things are different, but you find a way. I have three children. My two oldest are girls 3 years apart and then the baby (17 months) is a boy and he's 5 years younger than my youngest daughter. So I put a big gap between the 2nd and third. However, I have enjoyed both ways. The girls are close to each other and can play together. My oldest would help out when her sister was born by putting diapers in the garbage or something. When we had our boy the girls of course were much more capable of doing more things to help out. They both adore their baby brother and I couldn't imagine my life without all three of them. I worried like you. I think most moms do, but your heart just gets bigger and you find a way to give each child individual attention. It might be even easier for your twins since they've always had to share the spotlight.

M.

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I do not have twins but I was just thinking that 2 1/2 years apart sounds good, however that is usually the age to start potty training. I have never potty trained twins but I would think I would want the twins out of diapers before I had a baby. Maybe three years might be a better spacing so you can get two out of diapers before the new baby comes. I could not imagine changing three kids in diapers as well as the expense. Just a thought. Good luck in whatever you and hubby decide.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

Hi. I have 3 year old twin girls and work full time. My husband and I are starting to try again this summer.
I thought I would have been ready when they were 2, but I felt like I had my hands full and the girls still seemed like such babies. They were and are horrible sleepers, just getting the hang of potty training now. Plus, we've been relying on grandma babysitters so, we didn't think it right to add more babies to the mix so quickly.
The twins will start preschool 2 days a week next year. The cost of childcare is very scary also. I think each person knows when the time is right. If you feel you are ready to add to your bunch, go for it. I knew I needed my girls to be a little older. I wasn't sure if I would ever be ready, but now the idea of another is starting to feel exciting. I'm one of 4 and always thought I would have a large family. We'll see how the summer goes.
Hope my story helps.

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L.L.

answers from New York on

I've heard that anything after twins is gravy! If you are having major anxiety over it, don't make a final decision until you're totally ready, but to be honest, I say go for it! Anyone who handles twins is a pro in my book! :)
Lynsey

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