Mother of an Autistic Son.

Updated on March 22, 2008
A.L. asks from Deer Park, TX
43 answers

Is there anyone with any suggestions for me...my son is 12 and he is austistic. As he gets older he seems to be getting more and more aggressive. He is high fuctioning but he is now beginning to cuss, which he has never done before, and has already been in two fights at school. He is being bullied at school, and I don't know what to do. The school doesn't seen to be doing everything possible to help him. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for all the advice. My son has been seeing a doctor and is taking meds for anxity. (sp) I would like to say we are going to try out a couple of yall suggestions, diet change, we just enrolled him in a social skills class, and some other things, so as I notice any changes I will update everyone. Yall have been very helpful up to this point.
Thanks again
A. L.

Featured Answers

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W.F.

answers from Austin on

There has been some research on austisic children and adults and getting theraputic massage. It helps to relax and calm the person. I would follow up on that or other holistic options. Good luck!

Otter

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L.S.

answers from Austin on

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. She works for Peoples Pharmacy. She specializes in making supplements that help autism. Worth a call.

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T.S.

answers from Houston on

Try MedCare Pediatric rehab center. They are doing awesome things with Autistic Children and families with Autistic Children. The website is www.medcarepediatrics.com. The number is ###-###-####. Tell them That T. Stubblefield referred you.

More Answers

J.M.

answers from Austin on

Dear A. L

This is where I can help all of you with your children and families. I am an iridologist, herb specialist. I have saved my own life with natural healing. I almost died at 48, I am now 61, very healthy. I see no dr.s, take no meds, been on the internet for over 7 years in a chat room on paltalk.
www.creeksideherbhouse.com is my website. There is a lot of good information on that site. Please pay attention to the "theory" page of that site. That is exactly how the body works, how we get disease.

I have helped several people with their Autistic children. The key to the body is nutrition. The first thing is to get their diets straightened out. PROBOITICS, is very important. Getting them off the sugars, all sugars is very necessary. Getting them on natural calcium, bring their ph levels back to alkaline, natural minerals, with a good green drink, and eating the proper foods that feed the body.

They need the ESSENTIAL FATTY ACIDS, which is the basic building blocks of cells, then PROTIENS, from a plant source, then the MINERALS, from the green drinks, then FIBERS from raw veggies and non sugary fruits, then CALCIUM is the most important mineral there is. Each and every function of the body depends upon calcium to operate properly.

I am willing to teach classes on all this and to help you all with calming your children down, and getting them on the right track as per getting them more comfortable in their bodies.

Blessings to each and everyone
J.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.S.

answers from Houston on

I do not have kids quite as old as yours, however I have several educators in my family. Two of them have written anti bullying literature for schools. The school should not tolerate any bullying at school. Does he have a person in charge of his IEP at school or a counselor? The principal also needs to know what is going on. They need to have a NO Tolerance stand on bullying.
My oldest is 9 yrs old. My 6.8 year old is on the autism spectrum. I would suggest social skills classes for your son. If you live in NW Houston, contact the Carruth Center. There are other classes in the Houston area too.
My 6.8 yr old son attend the Parish School on Hammerly. Where does your son go to school?
L.

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H.O.

answers from San Antonio on

First off, what school district is he in? I know in the Northeast ISD in San Antonio there are some wonderful people who work very well with aggressiveness in Autistic children. I know... I recently had to deal with them when my son was constantly attacking the teachers/staff at his school last month. They also have a family liason who was quite helpful.

You can also call your local ASA chapter and get the names of some advocates for your son. They can give you loads of information and help push the school district to get off their keesters and do something.

The best way is to get very vocal with the district your son is in. I hate to say it, but if they fear that someone's going to sue or give bad publicity for negligence toward a child (especially one with a "disability"), then they move a lot quicker.

Also, is your son on any meds? I have been told numerous times that a change of meds may be an issue once they hit puberty. If your son goes to a behavioral/developmental dr. or a neurologist, start talking to them about everything that is happening and see what they recommend.

I know it's hard to remain positive (I've been through so much this year with my oldest Autistic son as well), but you have to remain strong and centered... if only for your own sanity. "When mama ain't happy... nobody's happy!" Look into respite care, anything your local ASA chapter can offer, start going up the chain of command at the special ed. dept. of your son's school district, and just realize that puberty won't last forever and it will eventually calm down. Family/friends/community support will be your rock right now. If he is in NEISD in S.A., get back to me and I can give you the names of staff to talk to to get the ball rolling. :-)

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M.R.

answers from Houston on

Well of course you are going in a 1000 directions! It seems from your posting that you have not put him in any type of therapy (present or past) I think that would be a good place to start. You should start by asking your doctors for names of therapist that handle these types of behaviors. He probably has other stuff going on since he is high functioning. I take it he is in public school? They should also have some resources for you, but some schools are better than others in that regard. Remember he is becoming a teenager as well, so that is not easy even if he were without autism. Are you & your husband on the same page with this? How about other family members? You are in need of a support system fast! My 7 yr.old has aspergers & I know it's not easy. I think you need to concentrate on what you have, you have a lot of people to take care of. I could go on & on...Make sure you find time for you too!!!

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M.H.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,

Sometimes, vision therapy can help w/ autism. Please contact Dr. Edward Fong @ 4427 Highway 6 # L, Sugar Land, TX 77478; ###-###-#### for more information.

Hope this helps!

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O.C.

answers from Austin on

A.,
Lots of great answers,
here goes mine;

Most doctors treating austism in children prescribe pharmaceuticals as part of their treatment. Occasionally, you find a few who understand that the drug road is not a good long-term option. You should consider nutritional endeavors that focus on fatty-acid, amino-acaid, serotinoin and tryptophan balances.
One natural alternative with NO side effects is a juice called xango, check out the science of it at www.pubmed.gov enter xanthones
xanthones help our whole body.

let me know if you want more info.

Oly

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C.T.

answers from San Antonio on

Dear A.,
I understand what you are going through. I am a wellness consultant with a certification as a detoxification specialist. I work at Cost Plus Nutrition 3 to 4 days a week here in San Antonio. I do consultations from my home, or I will visit your home. I have so much information on assisting children with these conditions. I will be happy to meet with you and educate you in the area of detoxification of heavy metals, such as mercury, and then you can decide if you want to follow through with the process. I know you are a very busy mom with all of your children, but you will need to research this information that I pass on to you in order for you to decide how to proceed. I will give you websites to go to so you can see what other parents are doing for their children and the many protocols that are turning around these conditions. Each family gets a different level of improvement, as each case is different. If you would like to contact me, please e-mail me at ____@____.com.

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M.M.

answers from Houston on

Have you thought of getting in touch with the organization Autism Speaks to see if they have any suggestions on what to do.

I hope this helps. I will be praying for you.

M.

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J.C.

answers from Austin on

Everyone has given you such great advice. I don't have much else to give other than support. I have a 15 yr old daughter (freshman in high school) with Semantic/Pragmatic Disorder. She also started cussing earlier this year. She actually cussed at a teacher once and it landed her in detention with the normal kids. That detention actually did her a world of good, she hasn't cussed since and her grades are up.

You may need to request an ARD to create a behavior IEP if he doesn't already have one. That way you have a paper trail if you ever need to prove the school isn't responding to your sons needs.

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J.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,

I'm not a mom and have no experience with autism, but my sister is a speech pathologist who works in a Texas school district. She has a case load of about 40 or so autistic students of all degrees. Everytime I ask her questions about autism, her knowlege and experiences amaze me. I'm emailing her with your post to see if she has any advice or suggestions that might help. I'll post her reponse as soon as I get it (it might be a few days). Hope this will help you!

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J.W.

answers from Austin on

A.
I have a dear friend who has a son who is 8yrs old and she had tryed alot of different things but I think he was alittle different he couldnt walk at times. But she found this stuff called Reliv. And he is now walking and communitcating with his family and teachers. I dont know if it would help your son I hope it does.
J.

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T.H.

answers from Houston on

My son is 8 & as he gets older he becomes more violent. From my personal experience, the more loss of control they have & the more frustrated they become they act out the only way they know how. If you have a Psych. or therapist he could speak to that may help. If not some things I do/say are..You can be mad but not mean, have him hit a punching bag to get out aggression, jumping on a trampoline relieves ALOT of stress for my son, after school immediately do a fun activity..maybe ice cream..video games..something that lets him refocus & substitute bad experience with good. Uuumm, I also would find an older kid around...EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO PAY.. so he feels "cool" & that he has someone to talk to. Also someone that can tell him how to handle peer situations. Sometimes a different messenger with the same message makes a difference. I pay a 17 yr. old kid to "babysit". He plays video games, basketball & just talks to my son about ways to cope/handle things. Hope this helps.

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C.P.

answers from Houston on

If the school your child attends is not helping your austistic
son, then you should go to the next level, the school administration, or even the school board. If your child has a diagnosed problem, then the school district is obligated to educate your child to HIS NEEDS.

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B.R.

answers from Corpus Christi on

Hi, Something you might try is therapeutic horse riding lessons. I used to teach several high functioning autistic children and the difference in thier behavior after just a few lessons was truly remarkable. Here is the website for the National therapeutic riding Association www.narha.org
You should be able to find an instructor on this site as well as more info. If you have any further questions you can email me at ____@____.com and I'll do my best to answer them. Good luck and I hope this helps

B.

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J.B.

answers from College Station on

I am also a mother of an Autistic (soon to be) 12 yr old. As with any young child it's easy for them to pick up on new words that may sound interesting and what they think might be fun to say. My son has also picked up on some of those words(he's an only child). We told him that we love to hear his words but that one is a bad one and he should never say it again. (He still tries sometimes) We stress that several times during the process and we don't repeat the word that was wrong while telling him it's a bad word - because as you know repetition helps them learn. You may want to sit your other children down and get their help with that too. Make it fun for them so that you don't become totally dependant on them as "sitters" or "monitors" for your Autistic son. Now since I only have the one child I'm not sure how well that will go over but I know at my son's school they (the teachers) have started to "educate" the "normal" children his age so that they know how to "play" and "talk" to him. The trick that I have always found handy with my son is to make everything, I don't care how small a task, into a fun game. Always talk with a dramatic voice or "peppy" voice (as I like to call it) and smile alot and make dramatic faces at him - it seems to keep his attention that way. As for the school they should be doing something about the bulling and fights - I would think that's a situation that needs to be taken to the superintendant or school board. Don't forget that school is being paid to have your son there and should be doing everything and anything to protect and teach your son. Hope this helps - hang in there and God Bless.

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D.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I have twins 16 years old.Boy and girl.My boy is autistic. He is high functioning to.As with you son mine has gotten more aggressive to. He also has ADHD. He takes meds for his ADHD.He cusses all the time.I am trying to use ignore him and don't give him any attention and maybe he will quit. At least that is how I am hopeing it will work. His Maturty is 6-7 year old. I am hopeing that he will get the idea if he dosen't have attention. Though his twin sister likes to make a big deal out of it.If he continues Then we will take his computer away from him.He loves his computer and it means a lot to him.Try takeing what is important to him away for a short time.I also take his computer away because he is 6 feet tall and has a temper and if any one touches him he gets really upset.So no one gets hurt we try and not touch him when he is in one of his moods.He gets teased alot at school buy the kids out side the special ed class.He dose take med for his ADHD plus he dose take med at night before he gose to bed that is suppose to help him stay in control and not be so aggressive.We also work with the teacher at school. We try and keep school and at home consitant.Teacher and us working togeather on the same things.If there is a problem at home or at school we contact the teacher or she contacts us and we work togeather.With our son to if he throws a fit or gets aggressive we will remove him from the room. He has to go to his room untill he can settle down.He has throun Marbles at his wall and put little holes it it when haveing a fit. The Dr told us to show him how to fix them and have him do it.It's not easy, but hang in there. I have 8 kids and my twins are the youngest. 3 kids with ADHD,one with ADHD and Autistum and My self with ADHD and being Bipolar and a poasabily one of my other boys being Bi[polar. It's not easy takeing care of a special needs child. Some thing you can do for your self is have a support systum/group. And try and have some one watch your kids for a bit so you can go out and get a breather.Then when you come back you will have more patients with you son. At least I do any way. Hang in there.

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J.L.

answers from Austin on

I would address the issue of your son being bullied at school. That may very well be the problem with his behavior. My son is not autistic, but he was bullied by a group of students for months. The school principal got angry with my son because he finally struck back in self-defense, so I had a meeting with the principal. She did nothing up to that point about the bullies and I didn't think it fair to punish my son for standing up for himself when the school wouldn't help him. We worked it out and the bullying stopped, but you have to stand strong.

I have a another with disabilities and behavior issues. He has CHARGE Syndrome. It seems as though kids with disabilities are held to some "higher" standard when it comes to what the school will accept in behavior. My son will be blamed for his sensory behavior by his school when the problem is due to the fact that the school has no one trained to understand sensory behavior. They therefore don't handle it appropriately and they don't know how to avoid the outbursts when they do come up. It's not fair and I have been preaching to the school about this for over a year.

Don't let them blame your son because he is autistic. I would keep the discussion about the bullies and then see how your son's behavior is when that is taken out of the mix.

Good luck.
J.
www.livetotalwellness.com/janislanz

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R.R.

answers from San Antonio on

There is now an abundance of information about autism on the internet. There is a facility in San Antonio called Treehouse Pediatrics that offers alot of info/assistance to autistic children. Also a new facility in Austin called DAN; not sure what it stands for, but supposedly offer much assistance as well. Connecting w/a support group can be very beneficial. Prayers to you and your family. R. R.

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T.T.

answers from Houston on

You have already received wonderful responses. My son is now almost 14 and many people can't even tell that he has Aspergers anymore, he just seems a little strange. About 5 years ago he was being bullied and his symptoms were extreme at that time. I have always homeschooled my son and I consider that one reason that he has done as well as he has. Most homeschooled kids are taught to be very accepting of differences, so the peer pressure is not nearly so great as it is in school. The bullies were from our neighborhood. We moved and were very careful about the people we let into his life. We also found a wonderful Karate teacher and a small Boy Scout troop. He now has a full schedule of outside classes along with the scouts and karate. I know how hard it is to change the diet of an autistic person. My son is very limited in the foods he will eat. We started him on a suppliment called Juice Plus along with a good Omega 3. I also work hard to teach him how to respond properly to people. He still sometimes says things he shouldn't and seems rude. He also doesn't pick up on social clues which leads to problems as well, but with constant coaching he is getting much better. I have sometimes been discouraged by people's responses to him since he looks and seems "normal". If he had a visable handicap I think people would be more accepting. We just have to keep being grateful for the progress and believing in a better future.

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D.S.

answers from Austin on

Hi A. L. Although I am not a mother, I do know a great alternative health provider that has worked with autistic children with success. Her name is Lorraine and her email is ____@____.com

D. S

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L.H.

answers from Austin on

I don't know if this will help your son or not but my grandson was diagnosed with autism and was in special classes at school and was going to therapy. I took care of him for two weeks and completely changed his diet while he was with me. I got him immediately off of all cheese, yogurt, any dairy in fact. His first bowel movements for a week were BLACK. Then it changed to normal. By the time he started school again, the school system tested him and now decidd he was not austic anymore and now he is in remedial classes only.
I have just noticed that too many kids today eat only cheese and cheese products with no vegetables or fruits.

S.P.

answers from Houston on

I do not know if I can help from a Mommy standpoint; however, I worked for 6 years in the school district with children that were autistic. I was also lucky enough to work with them at home as their in home trainer!

I know that you feel the school is not doing everything; however, many many times the children act very differently at school than at home. Yes, they may still be aggressive; however, it could be set off by very different things.

I would strongly suggest that you schedule a meeting of all of the individuals that are involved...not really and ARD...to come up with a plan. The more consistent the consequence and reward system that you have in place between the school and the home,the better for your son!

i know this sounds like a canned response; however, I know that it can work. I never wanted anything more than the involvement of my parents. These children were the ones that were always the most successful.

I hope this helps a little.

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S.G.

answers from Houston on

The biggest challenge with Autism can be the uncontrollable behaviors they have. I highly suggest you contact some of the great schools/treatment centers offering ABA therapy. THe key to ABA therapy is learning how to deal with the behaviors so they stop occuring. Some of the good ones include THe Shape of Behavior www.shapeofbehvior.com or BTTC. If you cant afford one of these treatment centers, contact FEAT - they offer lots of resources and support for you to learn how to work with your child. You can go to an all day training for as low as $40. Good Luck!!

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S.G.

answers from San Antonio on

wow, A.! just looking at how much you have on your plate makes me exhausted! kudos to you for being a mom of 5 kids...not to mention that one needs extra help. does he get special ed. assistance, b/c of the austim...help from the school psychologist, or counselor? if not, he could be eligibile to receive extra assistance from someone who is trained to work w/ these issues. please keep asking the school for help!

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A.B.

answers from Beaumont on

I have a 7 year-old autistic boy and I also teach High School and have high functioning autistic kids in my classroom every year. As a mother I would tell you that my husband's and my take on unwanted behavior is set the standards and stand by them. Disciplining our son can be very draining as he almost likes test our system on a daily basis at times. Your son may be getting positive attention by his peers for cussing at school and the consequences at school may not be enough to encourage him not to do so. I would meet with your school administrator and your son's teacher(s). Be very specific about what the plan of action is each time your son cusses and that every teacher should actively enforce the plan. It may seem like I am going a little overboard, but in my experience the difference between the autistic kids that were well behaved and those that were constantly in trouble were how the parents responded to their child's behaviors. I have homeschooled my child when I felt the school was unable or unwilling to help him. If you feel like you are not getting the response you'd like to see from your son's school, you may want to consider homeschool for a while. Good luck and remember "this too shall pass!"

P.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi A.,

You've gotten some great advice from the two responses already posted.

I am a Parent Coach, parent and aunt to an autistic teen. Know that many people hit "rough spots" when they enter their teen years because developmentally (physically and mentally) there are a lot of changes going on. Your son is more vulnerable because of his autism.

If you haven't yet done so, bring your concerns to the attention of every school staff member who will listen. Wisdom can come from many different sources. The staff may not realize your son is having a difficult time. They do try to observe, but kids aren't always willing to "bring" things to adults.

I hope you take advantage of some resources for parents of Autistic children (support groups, websites, good books). You might find some help there. Consider consulting with a specialist outside the school system.

Many people choose to home school their children for a year, or two or more and this can be a great option for parent and child. Is this a viable option for you? Only you and your family can decide that, but gather as much information as possible to make the best decision for you and your son.

Your compassion and concern comes through in this message. I know you will make the best decisions for your son.

I'd love to hear what you decide to do,

J. B
Parent Coach

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A.C.

answers from Austin on

I would just like to chime in with a plug for homeschooling. I homeschool my autistic daughter and it much easier for her to focus and learn as well as the fact that there is no bullying. Because we are at home, she has plenty of opportunities for breaks where she can go in the backyard to swing for a few minutes or whatever (physical activity really helps to calm her).

As far as social situations go, they are something that we can control and teach her appropriate responses to. Little girls can be absolutely vicious with anyone who is different, but she has been able to get along reasonably well with the girls in her dance class. etc...

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S.W.

answers from Houston on

If your son is being bullied at school by his classmates and the problem is not resolved, that is a basis to switch classes or even schools within the district. I have a sister who is special needs (borderline mentally retarded) and my parents sent her to a school on the east side of town that was kinder and gentler. Also, you may already know, that Autistic children tend to have more food allergies. Some foods are actually processed like hauleucengenic (sp?)drugs (e.g. dairy, wheat, etc). My sister was mainstreamed into public school and the kids were so cruel that she developed psychological problems that she has never recovered from. If the school environment is too harsh and severe for your son, consider a private school that understands autistism.

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R.P.

answers from Houston on

I worked in Special Ed in a jr. high and have friends with autistic children. What you are going through is very normal. Being autistic does not mean that your child will not go through puberty, thus the aggression. He just has more testosterone in his system now and this will continue off and on thru his teen yesrs. His meds will need to be adjusted frequently over the course of the next few years as his hormone levels will fluctuate. Autistic children also sometimes get more frustrated with things the older tey get. as far as the school goes, have you put it in writing yet? Ask to meet with the AVP of Special Ed with your concerns. Have specific examples to reinforce your concerns. Good luck.

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A.V.

answers from Austin on

that must be so challenging! have you heard of this great organization in town called the Thoughtful House? They are working towards cures for Autism and have had a lot of success in minimizing symptoms. Here's their website. http://www.thoughtfulhouse.org/ Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Houston on

Dear A.--Bless your heart. I, too, have an autistic son who is 25. I have been through so much with him, but nothing compared to having 4 other children at home at the same time! My mind is whirling with suggestions for you. First, start with the school district. Ask for a new behavior assessment. Since his behavior has changed, you have a basis for this request. If they give you any trouble, let them know that you are aware of your son's rights under state law, and if they can't perform the assessment, you will have someone in the private sector do it and bill them for it. (This is something they would be required to pay for.)

Another suggestion: There is a wonderful autism expert named Beverly Braman who could be called in to make suggestions to help with your son's behavior. She helped me learn how to handle my son when he was about 6 and again when he was 13 or 14. There is always grant money available to pay for her services (the school district can find this money--it's not your responsibility). She is in the Houston area and she is WONDERFUL.

Another suggestion: Does your son currently see a psychiatrist? There is a wonderfully intuitive psychiatrist in the medical center named Kay Lewis. My son was under her care from the time he was 8 until just last year. She may be a good source of help, as well.

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L.R.

answers from Houston on

I'm involved in my daughter's school and I was just talking to our Computer Science teacher about this very subject a few days ago. She told me that she had a classroom full of students on the computers and a teacher sent in her autistic student. Our Computer Science teacher noticed that the autistic student couldn't sit still, he talked continuously, made noises, etc. She didn't understand it, so she looked it all up when she got home that day.
She found that when autistic children are overstimulated they tend to responsd in a negative way to the overstimulation. Talk to the school and look at the classroom they have him in. If he is in a regular class, there might be too much noise and he might do better in a Special Education class where there are fewer children and he can get the one-on-one attention he needs.
If you son doesn't have his own room, you might consider giving him one. Let him have his own TV, if he has favorite shows. A special spot in the room to do homework or just sit and read. If you feel he is overstimulated with the goings-on of everyday life, he will have his own room to escape to. Give him set bedtimes, bathtimes, dinner time, etc. The routine will help your whole family in dealing with his special needs.
You might find someone who has a lot of experience in dealing with autistic children and see if they have any special advice on diet, as the other mom stated in her advice to you. Sometimes sugar or excess carbs (that turn into sugars in our bodies) can affect children with special needs in a different way than others.
The show Rain Man is an awesome movie about an autistic man. If you haven't seen it, I'm told by this teacher that it clearly defines autism in not just adults, but the same relates to children as well. In the movie, Dustin Hoffman has a hard time relating to any excessive stimulation and does much better with a set routine.
I wish you all the best!
L. R.

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L.M.

answers from Austin on

This is an interesting thought but it worked for a friend of mine. If your son is high functioning could he maybe take some kind of martial arts class. They will teach him that it is only o.k. to fight when absolutely necessary and teach him to control his anger. Its just an idea. Do with it what you want of course.

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C.G.

answers from Austin on

I have heard that a gluten free diet can make a difference in some of the symptoms of autism. I understand that every child is different, but it might be a harmless thing to try.

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J.J.

answers from Houston on

Hello A.,

I have a 27yr old brother who is also autistic. His diagnosis is pervasive developmental disorder which mainly means he learns at a slower pace. It takes more time for him to process some information or mutiple routines. He is now working and trying to go back to college which he was struggling with for awhile.

First of all, find an organization that can provide the proper assistance and what type of autism he has since there are several kinds/levels. This will help you know what kind of help he really needs. My brother goes to MHMRA (Mental Health Mental Retardation Authority of Harris County)-###-###-####. They maybe able to direct you to a similar or another organization in Brazoria county/close to home. Your son's current school may not have the materials/tools to teach him. It's possible you may have to place him in a school that has the teachers qualified to teach children w/autism.

My Mom was blessed with people who could help and direct her to the right places and information which helped my little brother a great deal. I thought him to read and write and protected him at all cost. I understand from my mother's experience and my own. It can be difficult but easier when you know your son is getting the help he needs. Hope this helps and will keep your family in my prayers. God bless, no stress!

Try this also:
Gathering Place (free psychosocial clubhouse)-search online
Texas Rehabilitation Commission

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C.L.

answers from Houston on

Hey A.,
I don't have an autistic son but I remember when I was on bed rest listening to Jenny McCarthy one day on Oprah. Jenny McCarthy is honestly not someone I would have normally taken advice from but her son has Autism and she felt like no one including Dr's were really helping her. She's written a book called Louder Than Words: A Mother's Journey in Healing Autism and in the book she talks about how she put Evan (her son) on a gluten/wheat free, dairy free diet and it changed him DRAMATICALLY. She swears by it and said other moms have had a huge success as well. I don't know if you have time to read but you may be able to go to this link and just listen to her for a little bit. I have a great friend who also teaches Austistic kids and she said the teachers were recommended to read the book and she loved it. I hope this helps a little and I will be praying for you!

Here's a question/answer forum that was set up for parents struggling with a child who has autism.
http://www.oprah.com/community/thread/1812

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L.S.

answers from Austin on

Provide an IF you cuss, THEN (consequence). You may want him to write down all the cuss words he's using and seal them in a bag (visually put them away. Unforturnately, bullying is so common in middle school. Ask you son where it is happening, usually restrooms, locker rooms, hallways and outside. Take a stance with the school, start by notifying them in writing where and when your son is being bullied and to tell them that teachers need to monitor those areas. You might try social stories with him where you role play someone bullying him and what he can say and get away from that person. It would help if your son could walk around school with friends and limit the times he's alone. Does he have some kind of calming item that he could keep in his pocket to calm him? A small stress ball to squeeze when he is upset or a smooth rock or pipecleaner to twist? The bullies want an audience and if your son can walk away, they may lose interest. Hope he enjoys his school, it's not fair for people to intentionally try to make others unhappy.

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L.L.

answers from College Station on

Hi A.. I am new to this site so you will have to bear with me. I am Canadian and we have support systems in our schools for children with special needs. See if you school can help out with any programs. I day care a 10 year old boy with special needs. He was getting into fights in the school yard as well. Twice a week he comes to my house for lunch and a break. So far that is helping. You have a difficult road to walk. Speak to the school and see what they suggest. Good luck.

L. L.

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S.C.

answers from Houston on

Hi A.,

I sent you a personal message but wanted to follow up on the board.

Change upsets our sweet AS children. I noticed you said you just made an addition to your family. Maybe your son is responding to the change in his own way. The cussing is so very normal at 12. For our (yes I have one of those little animals too-a 12 year old son on the spectrum) sons, they just don't get when and how to be a bit rough around the edges.

We went from elementary to middle school last year and the change was just a nightmare. So after doing a trial run in the summer, for 6th this year we're homeschooling. He's a new (relaxed/focused) kid! I'm able to challege him in areas of his interest (he's reading three levels higher than his grade) and help him get a better grip on subjects that he just doesn't get like math (he's getting past the 3rd grade now). He's got lots of activities he's involved in, so he gets two or three days a week to do the teen thing. He looks forward to the days when it's just us settling down with a history or science lesson.

Diet makes a big difference too, more on that if you want.

Take care, you can do this!! I'm finding we're so not the only ones in these shoes. You're welcome to e-mail me!

Warmly,

S.

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