Mother Feeling a Bit Down

Updated on January 09, 2008
J.M. asks from Oldsmar, FL
12 answers

Hello i am a mother of a 9 mth old and expecting another in july. I have a full time job and soon starting a p/t at home job....... I am tired..... I feel like sleeping all the time, and when i am not sleeping.... Well i am hoovered over my new friend the toilet. My other half is home due to an accident at work. So technically i have two children and expecting another. Hahah! I am writing just to vent some of my frustration and to see if i am the only one out there.i love my family to death but sometimes they drive me up the wall. I wish for one day, one 24 hour day that i could give my unborn child to my other half and take time for myself, go shopping, go to the beach, eat and actually keep the food down. I sometimes feel like it is wrong for me wanting to get away. If you experience the same thing please let me know.

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So What Happened?

I just want to let everyone who wrote thank you........ It is comforting to know or feel like there are others just like me that are out there........ Might not be the exact situation but all so stressful ......... God bless each and every one of you.......

More Answers

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C.H.

answers from Tallahassee on

oh girl, who doesnt feel that way from time to time. I think all mothers do!!! and if they say they dont, they are not telling the truth!!! just be carefull though! I went through severe post partum depression because I thought that it was normal to feel that way, and it is... as long as it goes away, which mine didnt. other than that, you have a legit reason to feel the way you feel. GET SOME HELP. if you dont have any relatives in town, hire a babysitter and go out by yourself. Take care of yourself first so you can take care of everybody else

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Tampa on

You poor thing!! My advice to you is to clear your mind and then reread your post, trying to look at it from the point of view of someone who doesn't know you. I think you'll see that you have every reason in the world to want a break from it all! You're working full time, playing nurse to your husband, raising a 9 month-old, and growing a brand new human being all at the same time. And to top it all off, you're looking for a new house??! Even if you weren't pregnant, you'd have good reason to need a breather! At least there's some good news; you're about to be out of your first trimester, so you should be regaining at least a little bit of energy and feeling a tiny bit better soon. Here's something that might help you feel better, too; a Discovery Channel show I watched during my pregnancy said that in the 9 months you're pregnant, your body will produce more hormones than in your entire lifetime if you lived to be over 100 years old and never had a baby. In other words, even if your day-to-day life was easy, you'd still have a really good reason to be tired and stressed.
You should really try to get a friend or relative to come watch your family for an hour or two while you go do something relaxing, like go to a picnic lunch in the park with a friend or get a pedicure. As a matter of fact, promise yourself to have a weekly appointment to get away for a little while, even if it's just a 30-minute stop at a bookstore on your way home from work. You'll feel like you're taking back your life again!
Best wishes on your new baby and your new home. I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.

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S.L.

answers from Tampa on

No wonder you are feeling tired! Not only are you pregnant but you have a baby at home and working full time. I think every mother should arrange time for themselves every now and then. That time helps you to relax and have quiet time to regroup, which makes you a better mother when you return. You should arrange for a babysitter for a few hours and get a pedicure, go to the mall, get a massage or do whatever it is that would help you relax.

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S.H.

answers from Tampa on

I feel for you - bless your heart. It's a tough row to hoe! Hang in there. Iworked with my first and was sick all the way through her pregnancy ... I never felt good. With the second one I was a bit more proactive .... Tell your doc that you should have your He (iron) levels checked since you: work full-time, have a sick husband at home plus have a 9 month old at home and are 3 months pregnant. You might need an early boost of iron to help overcome the fatigue and nausea that low iron levels can produce! That's what caused a lot of my fatigue and nausea with the first and once I got it under control with the second - I felt amazingly better.

Good luck.

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R.

answers from Tampa on

I would feel down too. I am a SAHM with a 4yr old and 1yr old and I feel the same way sometimes. My dream is to take at least two days to my self. One for sleeping and the other just laying around relaxing :). I couldn't imagine having to work two jobs and take care of my sick husband, a baby, and be pregnant. Honey you do need to take some down time. That baby inside of you takes most of your energy and then to do all that on top of it has got to be putting a strain on you. Do you have family or friends you can call to come in and what your 9mth old and husband while you get some much needed sleep? Don't be embrassed to ask.. YOU NEED THIS! I use to be bashful about asking but have learned after having the second one that I need help sometimes. I feel so bad for you. Your feelings are perfectly normal! I will keep you in my prayers.

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J.W.

answers from Tampa on

Totally know how you feel! I'm a mother of two, a 20 month old and a 9 week old, so I was preggo and nursing the first for several months. Nothing wrong with wanting time to yourself and certainly nothing to feel guilty over for sure! Find something you CAN do since your hubby can't relieve you of baby #2 right now. You to the movies with a friend or get decaf coffee at starbucks but make sure you find time for yourself now before you get burnt out! Having two is way hard I won't lie, but the rewards are forever and you'll be so glad later when they're best buds bc they're so close. You'll do great and take a breather girl! Jennifer Widmeier

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T.R.

answers from Orlando on

I am due at the end of June so we are close to the same due date. I will be 17 weeks on Friday. Since the fourth week of my pregnancy I have been extremely ill. I have malabsorption syndrome so this poses an even more extreme problem. The doc has me on oral disolving Zofran and that really helps prevent the constant dry heaving and I am able to get fluids in. I am now having heart troubles and have been put on "chair" rest while the cardiologist runs tests and finds out what is wrong. Oh yeah, I also have an extremely active 3 yr old boy that needs his mommy. My husband works the midnight shift so he is gone all night and needs to sleep during the day. I am lucky to have him home during the day because he has taken me to my many doc appointments and to the ER several times. We have no family here in Florida so there is no one to help me with our son and we can not afford my DH to miss work anymore.

This is my 5th pregnancy, my first daughter died of heart failure due to down's syndrome and I had 2 miscarriages. So you would think that I would take everything this pregnancy throws at me as a blessing and be happy just to be pregnant with a healthy baby. But all of this is so overwhelming. There are days I get another migraine, or haven't eatin anything in 18 hours, or my heart is pouding so hard I can't breath just from going to the bathroom... there are days I just cry. There are days I think what the hell am I doing? I am too old for this, too weak for this, too tired for this. There are days I loose my temper with my son and just want to run away for a while. We are sick, pregnant, uncomfortable, tired, irritable, weak, nauseous, hungry and everyone keeps telling us "You have to eat for the baby" "You have to stay hydrated for the baby" Like we are purposely throwing up everything!! So yeah, honey you are not alone!

T.

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S.S.

answers from Tampa on

Dear Jehanee
You have every reason to feel tired and .. hope for a getaway .. the job of Mommy is very taxing on the mom, and then you are also creating a human being .. so you are doing a lot .. working and no help with spouse or family .. evrything hitting at one time .. Can you ask a friend to watch the baby one day and just rest somewhere, even for 2 hours?
Until recently I was working full time with three young children, and in last 8 years I never have any break from my mommy duties (I also wish I can just go away for a weekend ..), except one day when I had to go to California to get my parents' paperwork -- that was mad rush and stressful.
One time my work gave us off couple hours early and I felt guilty, but I came home, set the alarm and slept .. rather than right away picking up the kids .. and that really destressed me. Few times, I also stopped -- while coming home, on the highway and just breathe .. and listen to the song and try to close my eyes .. and then go pick up kids and back to all the work .. I can so much relate to you .. Listen .. if you do not have anyone in town, and you would want me to.. I can watch your daughter for few hours ..

Hang in there .. time does go by sometime very slowly though ..
Take care of yourself

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P.G.

answers from Orlando on

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to take a break. Loving our children, and our husbands for that matter, does not mean that we want to be with them all of the time. You HAVE to take time for yourself, even if it's just to lock yourself in the bathroom and read a book in the bath for an hour.

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A.F.

answers from Tampa on

you are not alone. you are stressed and tired. you are pregnant and it is taking a toll on you physically and mentally. i know the feelings well.

i have a 10 year old with autism, a 15 year old with scoliosis, a 60 year old mother with bipolar who won't take her medication, a 77 year old father who is literally blind in one eye and can't see good out of the other (he has macular degeneration) hearing loss, and memory problems (not alzheimer's - military radiation exposure related). I also have a 40 year old husband who is going through his mid-life crisis, and a 21 year old brother-in-law who refuses to grow up. i think i am the sanest one of the bunch - but i am loosing my sanity quickly.

so no ma'am. you are not alone at all. i bet we all know the feelings.... and you are not being selfish to want a day to yourself. every now and then, my husband takes the kids and i get away for a few hours. on friday nights and saturdays when my ex takes the kids, i get about 36 hours to myself with my hubby (if i decide i want him).

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B.R.

answers from Orlando on

I know how you feel. I too have had a difficult time (emotionally) with all that it takes to take care of a child. I think for me, it would be much easier if I didn't have 2 starved attention dogs and 1 cat (has a new home now). And I'm a stay at home Mom. My son is 2 years 4 months. I don't have much of a life outside the home. Every now and then my husband and I go out for dinner or something.

I feel the same way. How nice it would be to get away from it all for 24-48 hours. I keep telling myself just wait a few years to where the little one can stay a weekend with his grandparents.

I used to work full time and interact with people, do my own thing, go out once in a while with a friend, etc. That life is gone. And it has been a long, hard road for me to adjust.

I hope things get better for you. Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

You poor thing!!!!
You need a MUCH needed break!
You aren't the only one that feels this way. From time to time I want to hide in a closet or the bathroom just for some quite time. You have a lot more on your plate than I do, so I don't 100% understand how you feel, but just know that there are always people you can talk to, even if it is just people responding your frustrations on a website like this.
We mother's have to band together and lift each other up. It's with out a doubt hard right now but in time I am sure it will get better. Maybe just has your other half to help fold laundry or wash dishes or sit with the baby while you take a hot shower (depending on what type of injury he has) he should be able to help in one way or another!
I hope you can find some place or some moment to just breath and even cry if you have to... sometimes it helps.
Good Luck! C.

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