Most Important Time

Updated on April 09, 2007
D.M. asks from Highland, IN
6 answers

I am a mother of a 15 yr old. No longer a baby but I feel it is more important now than every before to be around my daughter. How do I get the energy to be everything to her and still work a full time job. I am a single mother though my ex husband is fantastic helping as much as possible but he owns his own business and is SUPER busy. I want to be there for my daughter now more than ever.

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M.W.

answers from Chicago on

Hi D.,
I would like to share some information with you that could address your concerns. The company I work with focuses on heping people find balance in their personal and family life. Are you free tonight @ 9pm for a 30 minute overview? We do this over the phone. No obligation. What you do with the information is up to you. If you are free, let me know how I can reach you 5 minutes prior to the start of the overview.

M.
____@____.com

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F.M.

answers from Chicago on

D.:

I have a 13 year old daughter and a 4 year old son, I work full time, I go to school full time and I am a single mother with no family in town. I am extremely busy but before the weekend starts I ask my daughter "what do you want to do?" she tells me if she want's to go to the mall (which is a nightmare taking my son to the mall)or if she wants to go to the movies or just spend time with friends. If she wants to be with her friends then I will take them to wherever they want to go and pick them up. I have also taken her and her friends to dinner. In other words I just want her to know that I am there for her and whatever she wants to do is fine with me. Once every so often, I'll find a sitter (I don't know many people) and we'll have a mother and daughter date. I know it's hard especially at 15, they have their own little world going on and at times they are hard to please. Hang in there and I hope this helped at least a little.

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

I am in the same boat but with 3 kids that I wish to be close to. I always call them from work when they get home and ask about their day and what homework they have. I always get asked to help with it, not dad! My kids are 15, 12 and 9 and have a very busy schedule as well,so I ask if they can help start dinner before I get home. This helps a lot and saves time and lets them be responsible for helping with the meal (life skills). My daughters and I usually go to their favorite stores about twice a month. We will go for a treat as well to have some "girl" time too. In the warmer months, we like to walk around the neighborhood. Great for getting some exercise and talking. Initiating something is great and let her tell you what she would like to do...bake, shop, exercise, or even taking her to her friend's house. I find that I enjoy talking with her friends as well. I too am realizing how quickly time is going to pass before they go to college and really don't want to be around me. My kids are involved in sports as well and I try very hard to attend at least the last part of their events. It is hard to work f-t, raise kids, keep a household and get "me" time. Find some things that you both can do together such as household chores, gardening, etc. that have to be done but you both do at the same time. Eat meals together as often as possible, and yes, listen. I have now started listening to their favorite radio stations and have learned to like some of it as well. It won't be a sacrifice if you really think what a wonderful person she's turning out to be. Enjoy your time together! Love and laugh---

K.

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M.L.

answers from Rockford on

Hello
This is what we do We have a 15,13&11 yr old.
Dinner together EVERY night no matter what time it is.
Sundays are family day and one weekend out of the month is family weekend we even mark the weekends on the calender for the whole year in January.
The kids know there is no plans made for those times ever. Those times belong to the family. They actually look forward to family time. We watch movies,window shop,bike ride,hike,camp,play games. For a weekend away check out the indoor waterparks in the Dells. That is always a nice time away and if you call you can get some good deals on a room.
I always make sure I go into their rooms and say goodnight If I get busy they call down to me asking if I am going to come say goodnight.
I heard one time that even if we can connect for 15 minutes a day it builds a solid foundation. Always ask how her day went and don't just hear what she is saying, listen to what she is saying, there is a difference. I have a problem of I am always waiting to talk and not really listening to what they are saying so I work on that
everyday.
I hope this helps a little
Have a great day

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B.H.

answers from Chicago on

D., I commend you so much for realizing that even though your daughter is more independant, she still needs you. I am also a single mother of 1 boy, age 5. Presently, I'm working FT, 45 mins away. I have about 3 hours with my son each night- however I'm usually tired from work and angrivated from the drive...I looked for a solution to more time and I know I've found it in XANGO. Xango is a 100% natural, nutritional supplement. It is a whole fruit juice...delicious. 1 oz of this stuff is equal to 1 serving of fruit AND 1 serving of veg. I give it to my son everyday. He loves it. It has so many more powerful health properties it's hard to believe...too many to list here. The company is a hot, young, fast growing network marketing company that is the cream of the crop in it's orgnization, compensation and start-up cost ($35.00). check it out and become financial free! Check out my website and contact me anytime by phone (on my website) if you have any questions. Good luck in all you decide to you!
http://www.promotehealthbuildwealth.com
B.

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L.C.

answers from Chicago on

You have to be very smart about how you spend the time you have with her, try to do what she likes first, they never forget if you don't get to it. Take a class together like art, pottery, sewing, that is a good way to keep it constructive and give her something for the future. When you can't be there, encourage bonding with others, it will make her much more reachable. Get her walking or roller blading with you. Suggest a part time job or babysitting, line up a Big Sister, or pay her for doing things for you, so she has spending money when she is out with others.If she's only interested in her own friends have them over regularly, like every Friday night when you are de-stressing from the week. You can let them create their own snacks or make jewelry, watch a new movie or whatever floats their boat, and you will still be there to interact without committing to more than you can handle. And you know they're safe.I hope that helps a little. :o)

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