Moms Who Homeschool or Kids Go to Cyberschool

Updated on November 23, 2011
J.B. asks from Lanoka Harbor, NJ
10 answers

how do you incooperate social interaction for your children? I really want to homeschool my son but everyone around me is telling me that I will be robbing him of the social experience. What do you do for your child for the social interaction?

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T.C.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Johanna,
I imagine the people telling you that you will be robbing him of the social experience don't homeschool. First of all, to be honest, that is one reason we homeschool. We aren't all that impressed by the socialization that goes on in public schools. My children don't need to be exposed to whatever his/her peers want to expose them to. However, it is found that homeschooled children are actually more socialized than their public/privately schooled peers. They have more opportunity. But, those opportunities are chosen by the parents. We socialize as families, and as a result, my kids can carry on conversations with people of all ages, old and young, not merely the kids who are their exact age. They tend to the littles, and have inspiring conversations with the elderly. And everywhere in between. Don't buy into that lie of socialization. It's actually a joke that most homeschoolers snicker about because it is so unfounded.
What do we do for social interaction? We get together with other families to play games, share meals, minister to people in need, do co-op classes, play sports, etc. We just have to juggle the crazy schedule to make it all fit in!

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

That's actually a lie. Kids don't get the good kind of socialization from schools. They definately don't learn socialization skills at school. They learn the good stuff from their family, hopefully. =) If you want outside activities with other homeschool families, you can join a co-op or homeschool group. I belong to two and we're super active. We're also active at church which helps. We also do dance and PE. There is a lot out there depending on where you live. You'll have to do research in your area. You can also host a play group for homeschoolers of if you like to do crafts etc. you can host an activity at a park or your home. You can even start a homeschool group to meet to play, have PE, activities or field trips. Even if you didn't do much with outside social activities, your child will still have plenty of good socialization opportunities with family. Even if it's just you, they're fine. Thinking that you need to put your kids in school for socialization is a lie. People ask me "don't you worry about their socialization?" I say, "Yes, that's why I homeschool!" =) Good luck!

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L._.

answers from San Diego on

We've always been church goers. So our kids had friends from church and then they went to Awana separate, which is a gilrls/boys club through the church. In addition, we had them participate in a 2 weeks theatre camp in the summers for 5 years in a row. We also had them go out for swim team in the summer for several summers.

In addition, I've had my daycare for 25 years. So they always had friends until they were so old they didn't care anymore. We had our share of older school age children off and on.

The rest of it is just life. We don't segragate into ages and sexes at work and work next to others of our own age, religion, etc. Life is mixed up and the kids should get a real life experience for their education.

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A.B.

answers from Louisville on

We are involved in scouts, church, and a very active homeschool group in our county who we meet up with for field trips, gym days, etc., and will be doing sports in the spring most likely. My kids are also still friends with kids they know from public school who they play with in the neighborhood when those kids get home from school. They have not become lonely or isolated, and they have enjoyed the new friends made through the homeschool group as well as their other friends. I think what it boils down to is how much of an effort you make to broaden their horizons and opportunities. If you just keep them locked in the house all day, only letting them play with siblings or other homeschoolers, then, yeah, they might not be socialized well. But if you encourage friendships with a variety of people and interest in a wide spectrum of activities, your kids are going to be fine.

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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

Big fat lie...not true...phooey. As a homeschooler, if you do decide to homeschool you'll soon discover, that's the pat answer everyone who knows nothing about homeschooling says. Ignore them. They don't know what they're talking about.

Most homeschoolers, especially those with young kids belong to either a co-op, support group, or social group through church.

We belong to a co-op and throughout the year, plus take homeschool geared science, history classes, physical education and sporting activities, and art classes through our local science museum, community education programs, historical society and nature center and preserve.

Friends with older children have access to classroom type courses through community colleges and local universities and even charter schools. If you do the research, you'll find that there are more homeschool friendly programs and learning and social opportunites, both religious focused and secular than you could possibly participate in.

Believe me, socialization is only a problem if you the parent are a cave dwelling weirdo who doesn't leave the house. If you want socialization and ways to round out your homeschool curriculum, you can easily find it.

Here's a good place to start finding groups and information in your area. Click on the button in the middle of the page titled, "You can homeschool" and read everything. It's a great place to get started and find a place to "socialize."

www.hslda.org

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I can't say it any better than Deborah Markus (of The Bitter Homeschooler / Wishlist http://www.secular-homeschooling.com/001/bitter_homeschoo... )

#2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

#3 Quit interrupting my kid at her dance lesson, scout meeting, choir practice, baseball game, art class, field trip, park day, music class, 4H club, or soccer lesson to ask her if as a homeschooler she ever gets to socialize.

_________________________________________________

That's what we do. Family, friends, classes, sports, out and about in public... wait for it... the EXACT same things you do BEFORE they're 5 years old.

I promise, we don't become incompetent parents the moment our kids turn 5.

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C.S.

answers from New York on

We belong to a meet-up group and try to get together with other homeschoolers when we can. We also do cub scouts, dance and gymanstics.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I think it is h*** o* home schooled kids to be left out of normal interactions and to have that experience just about everyone else in the world has.

I have helped with soccer teams and had 2-3 home schooled kids on them and they just had no idea how to act in groups of kids, they would just stand there most of the time while the other kids were visiting and talking about homework, parties, class activities, school functions, etc...it is really sad to watch them feel left out. I think home schooling is one of those things that IF the child goes to at least elementary school and possibly middle school/junior high then if they want to excel and get out of school early then maybe it's okay.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I do not home school, but homeschooled children can actually have more socialization than those who attend formal school. You are able to get your lessons done in less time and there is no need for all of the "homework" so homeschooled kids have lots of time for extra curricular activities. Most of them are involved in numerous activities - scouts, 4H, sports, church/temple youth group, dance classes, art classes - things that those of us with formal school schedules and homework often have to limit. The soccer team or swim lessons become your phys ed and that ceramics class is your art class. Also, in many communities, the homeschooling community gets together for field trips, or group classes that a parent with an area of specialization can teach. Homeschooling does not mean isolation!

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C.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

We joined a local homeschooling support group and have three park days set up every week. Today my kids (and I) spent three hours at the park; they played with their friends and I talked with mine (all the moms). We all marvel at how much time our kids get to spend socializing, because they get their work done in 1/4 the time kids spend in school (one-on-one instruction is much faster than trying to teach/manage a group of 30 kids in a classroom) and have much more time to play and spend time with their friends. I suggest reading the book "The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling" by Rachel Gathercole. It helped alleviate a lot of the same fears that I had. Also, see if you can connect with other homeschoolers in your area and talk to them about it; they are the ones actually homeschooling and can tell you what their experiences have been. Good luck with your decision!

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