Moms Who Has/had Hyper Kids: Did Your Child Ever Outgrow His Hyperness / ADD

Updated on January 26, 2011
A.G. asks from Los Angeles, CA
19 answers

Hi I have a beautiful 3 yo son who is so smart and generally a good boy all around. He is full of energy, super hyper and his attention span is not so good, he goes from one thing to the next and really just so full of energy, he is where he should be in speech and all other levels but the hyperness is a concern to me, I wanted to know if your child outgrew his or her hyperness when he /she was 3 yo without meds.

Edit: just wanted to add i am not not not thinking of medicating my son! I am so afraid of those things and my concern is that he outgrows this so he does not need those like kids I see nowadays poppingthose things like candy, just wanted tan opinion if this is just a stage thanks

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answers from New York on

Well, my daughter is 9 and still very hyper, the difference is she has better reasoning skills than she did when she was 3 so it is easier to settle her down a bit.

My brother is in his 50s, he ADHD and has always been extremely hyper, he is still extremely hyper always doing something, always moving and thinking about new ideas. He is very smart and very productive.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Salt Lake City on

Dont take the diet thing to crazy, changing the diet of a three year old is not going to make him stop running around like a crazy person. My son in 8 he has been running around like a crazy person since he could move- he didnt even bother to crawl I swear- Give him a little while and if he doesnt start to calm or his attenetion doesnt get better then worry. My son was diagnosed with ADHD just recently, I dont medicate him because his dad would totally freak out. The breathing helps, "think before you speak" helps. He may just grow out of it. he is a boy let him be a boy for a while

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answers from Charlotte on

i agree with son who is almost 5 was diagnosed with ADHD he was also on the verge of getting kicked out of the preschool and the ONLY thing saving him there was i work there. He started meds about 2 weeks ago and i have already seen a difference in him. hes still my little boy :) im not saying your child has it either but like the other mom said dont form an opinion about something until you know all the facts

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Three is way too young for a ADHD diagnosis. Almost all three year olds are hyper. It is developmentally appropriate. You do not want to give ADHD meds to a three year old. Be patient and know that this is how your child is learning about the world around him. Maybe it would be helpful for you to join a playgroup or a gymnastics class so he could have an outlet for his energy and you could see other kids his age and have a better gage for age appropriate behavior.

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answers from Los Angeles on

my son came out of me active! the pediatrician looked at him at birth and said..."oh my he's very active" he was running by 10 months..and yes he was a spaz and he is going to be 5 in March and is a doll..he has calmed down a lot..b/c i put him in a good preschool which helped..and he is allowed to go on the computer for set times..which has really taught him a lot..i started him at 3 w/ a program called Kid Pix..we hug things if he's acting up i say..."lets hug" and that calms him down..even when he's up to bad things we hug it out..and i always explain everything to him..
i tell him that its my job to make sure he's safe..etc..
so i think that has helped..disciplining w/ love..and good explanations..the more he has been exposed to life and social settings the more its helped..
he was so hyper i'm afraid to have another child..that was a lot of work for i'm getting too old..
had him when i was 41...
but to answer your question..yes he has calmed need for meds..our doc said there are 4 kinds of boys..."fearless, fearfull, climbers and non climbers" then he said.."you have a fearless climber"
so you're just going to have to work with him..and be loving and hug things out to calm him down..
you can guide him into becoming a doll...
now i also tell him when he acts up.."you're acting like a 2 year're a big boy now..lets behave like a 5 year old" and he will settle down..
the more they learn etc the more civilized they become and calm down..
I used to say that my son waited so long to be born that he's ecstatic to be here..
He'll become more calm but work with him on it..and if he's not in a preschool try to get him in one for at least 2 days a week..i have my son at Kid's Klub in Pasadena..wonderful school


2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Eh.... to a degree.

At age 3 my (adhd-c) kiddo really needed about 7-10 hours of constant activity. I'd get 1 hour break during his afternoon nap, and another hour in the morning when I plugged him into the computer or TV... but aside from that it was constant motion. Running 3 miles around the lake, gymnastics in the living room... his "breaks" were things like handstands instead of flips... and sliding on his belly down the stairs instead of running up them and jumping off of them. At age 3 if he hyperfocused on something mental or physical it could last for only a few hours.

At age 8 he only needs 6-8 hours of intense physical activity. We use swimming, snowboarding, gymnastics, aikido, skating, hiking, biking. He's much more focused as an 8yo then he was as a 3yo ... and obviously... a lot more cognitively advanced. His hyperfocus as an 8yo is approaching adult standards with 8-10 hours possible instead of only a few (adult standards are 12-36 hours as the average "upper" range... hyperfocus with adhd can last anywhere from only a few minutes to the "upper" range. It's one of the diagnostic criteria for adhd in any form, as opposed to just the distractiablity that is better known. In adhd-c & adhd-i it's easier to see the mental component... but in adhd-c or adhd-h there's also physical hyperfocus. They can literally run their feet bloody, or play until they pass out... getting enough food in them to support their activity level can be challenging, and it also means a high level of vigilence -and patience- on parents' parts to be able to interrupt the hyperfocus long enough to get them to attend to biological needs).

Jumping away from my son for a moment... as an ADHD-c Adult, I have *definitely* mellowed from being a kid (Like most parents I WISH I could 'bottle the energy' kids have). But I still need about 4 hours a day of intense activity in order to be happy. Being in the military was super relaxing (physically active almost all day long), as was being a competitive athlete (10 hours a day typically in training). As an adult, however, I can just suck it up and be sedentary if I HAVE to... I'm just not HAPPY about it. Sort of like how when you need to pee you can actually hold it for a few more hours if you HAVE to, and you can ACT normal, but it's an act... because you REALLY need to pee. It's uncomfortable, and you won't be happy about it, but you can do it. ALSO as an adult, I've learned many maaaaany coping mechanisms. I change the muscles in my face, wiggle the toes in side my shoes, change my breathing pattern, mess with my heartrate, do keigals, flex muscles in my calves/back/forearms/fingers... tons and tons of SMALL muscle movements that largely go unnoticed by those around me in order to get my 'movement' needs met. Kids GRADUALLY learn how to do this, largely to avoid ridicule/punishment and to get praise for their accomplishments. But it's a YEARS long process. It's not something that is "grown out of", per se... just something that we get good at hiding. The energy of youth IS gradually grown out of (mores the pity... when are they going to figure out how to bottle it!) but the ADHD hyperactivity just find sneakier and more productive ways to manifest (ex: you're more likely to find an ADHD doctor as a surgeon -who stands for hours and hours at a time... than as a doctor who spends most of their time sitting.... and you're FAR more likely to find an adhd adult in an active job than in a cubicle type job).

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

My oldest was not severly ADHD, but she was, with the hyperactive component. As she matured, she did outgrow that, in the later elementary school years. We never gave medication.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Las Vegas on

My husband is still "spirited" at age 43. Give him a task and if he has interest, he will do it, but give him a challenge and it is on! He does everything full blast...go big or go home. Everything he does must be the best. If he has no interest, he won't touch it. In time he has mellowed, but still has his moments of passion. He is successful and in management with a great reputation in his industry. No meds.

As well, my Mother has a friend of 35 years who is in her early 70's. She is full of energy and will try to do things on her own if possible. She laid a cement slab around house and she is no masonry. She speaks about 190 wpm, leaving no one else a chance. No meds, but I do believe she finds vitamins and minerals that agree with her and calm her.

Pay very close attention to your son's chemistry. My husband has reverse affect on pain meds, so they give him MORE energy rather than subdue him.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

So start taking a look at diet if you think there is an issue that is growing. For the sake of everyone's health, the following is a good idea:

Remove ALL dyes. Especially red dye affects kids.
Remove High Fructose Corn Syrup - for too many reasons to be able to list here.
Go as organic as possible, with your meats, milk, vegetables. There is the 12 worse offenders for pesticides so at least start with those.
Read and do the research on vaccines. Too many, too soon. Dr. Robert Sears follows a modified schedule and goes into great detail on the history, ingredients, and side effects in The Vaccine Book.

Another thing is it is ok for boys to be boys. We have dumbed them down, slowed them down, and taken away their masculinity in so many ways. Get him outside more, run him more, let him play:o)



answers from Provo on

they do settle down, though some take longer than others. you may see him calm down in one way but hang on to other things longer. for example my oldest (7) throws the biggest fits of all our kids, so we work a little more on teaching him to control his temper. he still has times when he runs through the house, gleefully crashing into walls and furniture, but those times are much less often than when he was 3. my 5 yr old is still rather impulsive at times and doesn't think before acting nearly as much as i wish he would, but calmer than he was at 3. at 3 that boy was so wiggly. he hopped everywhere. getting them a bunk bed when they were 5 and 3 was fabulous! it's like an indoor jungle gym. at that age they climbed and swung from it daily. now it's an occasional toy but mostly a place to sleep or play with stuffed animals. your son sounds normal to me!



answers from New York on

dont worry too much.. he maybe hyperactive but he has no ADD.. kids are just like that... their attention span will develop as they grow... this is part of their growth and development...



answers from Sacramento on

Ditto Martha's response.

Our son was just like that at three and was ultimately kicked out of preschool because of it. You aren't likely to get a diagnosis of ADHD at three, but doctors can help you. If there's any question your child might have it, pursue medical help. (And to answer your question: The hyperactivity has gotten worse over the years during the time when medication isn't active. With ADHD, I've heard it can go down in the teen years, but we're not there yet.)

And don't make an opinion about medication when you have no clue what it's about and the benefits of using it for this medical condition. It's kind of like saying you have an "opinion" about heart disease or diabetes treatments when you have no medical degree or first-hand experience. There are so many myths and misconceptions out there about medication based on a whole lot of nothing. The decision to use medication is made in conjunction with very skilled specialists and can be life-changing. Medication completely transformed our son's life.



answers from Augusta on

What do you classify as hyper?

At 3 you shouldn't even be thinking ADHD.
All 3 yr olds are hyper.
It's part of being 3. He's exploring his world.

Get a referral for a developmental ped.
If he was 6 or 7 I'd say yeah he's ADHD, but being 3 what you are talking about is developmentally normal.


answers from Raleigh on

At 3 years old, I'd just chalk this up to his exploration of a new world opened to him and that it is perfectly normal. My 14yo was this way and she is an exceptional student who has been in the AIG program since kindergarten (academically & intellectually gifted). She earned all kinds of awards throughout her school years including the Student of Excellence Award from our governor! Last year in 7th grade she was nominated and inducted into the Junior Honors Society. Her classes are all advanced classes and she is on the university track because of her academics.

The one thing your child can benefit from right now is educational toys and your time. Your child is reaching the end of a time in his life where he will have learned more in a few short years than he will learn ever again in such a short time span the rest of his life. Take advantage of it. Teach him to read, his colors, shapes, letters, numbers, simple math, cooking for kids, and continue to teach him more challenging things to hold his attention. It will pay off in the end.

With regards to ADD/ADHD, I am not a big fan of medicating these children forever. Our oldest child has ADD. She also has a heart condition, which was always in conflict between the medications for her heart and the short-term medication to control the ADD until she mastered the behavioral modifications that allowed her to come off the medication completely and allow her to function as a normal child and adult without the need for yet another pill all because she was a bit high-strung.

We found the best psychologist in the field to test and treat her as well as teach her the behavior modifications because we did not want her on medication for the rest of her life. The best thing about this psychologist and what made him a great person for this job for both parents and the child, is that he suffered from ADD/ADHD as well and did not take medication to control his condition. He used behavioral modifications, the same ones he taught his patients no matter their age. It was a blessing. Within about 3-4 years, our oldest was completely off the ADD medication and had all the behavior modifications learned and implemented to the degree that it was as natural as walking and breathing at the same time. It serves her well both psychologically and medically, especially with regards to her heart condition.

Right now, your son is entirely too young to even begin thinking ADD/ADHD. He's a boy. Child-proof the house and find educational toys that will push his imagination to the farthest recesses of his mind, prepare and set a schedule for one-on-one time be it with a single-parent household and the child or a household where both parents are there for the child and give him that both parents with child activity time. Throw in educational ideas as well. You might as well use this time for the best benefit for your child now while he will learn and retain the information due to his age and the way his mind works.

It would also be beneficial to set up play dates for him with children his age. This will give him socialization skills he will need when entering school. Think of how you can turn something playful into a lesson and use that for his benefit in the here and now. This is why our youngest child is nearly 2 full grade levels ahead of her classmates and taking advanced classes to prevent her from becoming bored and the possibility of giving up if she were placed in regular classes vs the advanced ones.

Give it time and considering the activities you bring into your child's life and how it will benefit him at a later date.



answers from Chicago on

I have a brother who did.



answers from Chattanooga on

As a woman who is about to marry a man who was diagnosed ADD... HE sure as sugar didn't grow out of it!!! LOL! His parents managed it by enrolling him in Karate, which gave him a creative outlet for his energy and the discipline to contain himself. :)



answers from Los Angeles on

Hi A., what a great question. Will he "out grow it"? It can't be answered. Is this "Just a phase?" perhaps. "Does he need to be medicated? NO NO NO. Thank you for not considering medication. I believe in EDUCATION not medication. I have worked with kids for over 25 years and I can tell you that "popping a pill" is not the answer. FOOD, exercise and self care is always the answer.
1. Remove all C.R.A.P. from his diet
Refined Sugar
Yes, that is a lot of stuff but not only is it not good for him (or you or ANYONE for that matter) it will lessen any hyperactivity symptoms.
2. Feed him a nutrient dense protein source for breakfast. His brain NEEDS to be fed well first thing so that it can make the best decisions. I will send you a private message with my recommendation.
3. Maintain his water intake for the day. NO SODA, NO JUICE, NO MILK, pure water is what the body needs to keep working well.
4. Exercise is key. Not "running around" but real exercise. Playground time is perfect. It moves all the limbs and activates the brain all at the same time.
5. Teach him to breathe. I recommend that every time he "stops to pee" you teach him to "stop to breathe" (BTW all these tips work for adults too!) Have him relax and take 5 deep breaths in and out, then he can get back to his day.
A., keep asking questions it is the only way to learn.

Family Success Coach


answers from Eugene on

A- Do not give meds.

I come from a family of "hyperactive" overachievers. So when my grandson displayed those traits my daughter knew the cure was physical activity in large doses, development of skills and deep interests. He's really straightened out now. She resisted the teachers insistance to give meds.
We talked it over. The meds give many troubles later in life including heart conditions that develop in your 30's.

I was a child like that and honestly it took me until I was 12 years old to get my nervous system under control.
I did it with modern dance, painting and having the chance to make my own decisions.
RELAX. You have a very intelligent child. Just find ways to stimulate him and keep him focused. A martial arts class which emphasizes inner discipline might be the very thing he needs. You can take him to gymnastics classes.
How many hyperactive adults do you see running around? None. So of course he'll outgrow it between 9 and 13 years of age. Meantime stimulate his intellect and even music lessons can help him to focus.
Normal three year olds have a very short attention span.


answers from Stationed Overseas on

Yes he will grow out of the hyperness. My sister was diagnosed with ADHD (which is rare in girls) when she was younger. My sister is now 18 and is fine. My parents did medicate because my mom abused the drugs for herself I am sure. It was also a way to keep my sister really sluggish and low key. Kids are naturally hyper and it makes me mad when doctors and even some parents jump to conclusions that their kid has some disorder making them hyper. IMO kids are naturally hyper very few have something that needs to be medicated I am sure. But in this day and age parents don't like hyper kids so they do what they can to keep them still, when all you really need to do is take them to a park for a few hours to run themselves out hahaha and like a few other mom's said watch their diet. Certain food can make them hyper. Good luck.

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