Moms of Special Needs Children

Updated on February 01, 2007
J.D. asks from Avon, MA
8 answers

My daughter is 2 months old and is the best thing that ever happened to me. She was born with brain damage and nobody can give me any answers as to why this happened. If there are any other moms out there who have a child with special needs or know anything about this situation I would love to talk about how you handle the emotional stress.

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S.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.,

I am not sure where you are (I am in MA) and I too was born with a child that had brain damage. His was due to a stroke inutero, but no one knows why it happened. We were told that he would never walk or talk, and now he is 4 1/2 and in preschool, walking, talking, counting, spelling, you name it, he is doing it. He is a typical 4 year old. We have some minor issues with fine motor skills, but after the doctors told us he would pretty much be a vegetable his whole life I am not complaining!

I understand your questioning of why, and unfortunately you will probably never get that answer. There is a really neat poem called "Welcome To Holland"...google that and you should find it. It is wonderful and it really helped me through some difficult times, and it still helps to read it now!

What is her prognosis? Is she in Early Intervention yet? Private therapy? It is never too early to start working on her!

She will be okay, and so will you! Everything is just so new, and it will take awhile to digest it all! Plus you are still in the early weeks of post-partum...makes it worse! There are a lot of us out there! Let me know if I can help!

S.

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J.T.

answers from Boston on

My son will be 4 in a couple of weeks, and he is on the autism spectrum. It's hard, because like in your case, nobody can tell me how or why he has this disability. We also didn't find out that he had any special needs until he was a year old and wasn't speaking at all. It's tough, but I always tell myself that if he was born "normal" then he wouldn't be the little boy that I know now, and I wouldn't want any other son. (: I also thank my lucky stars every day that it could have been a lot worse, you know? I think it also helps that as he gets older, I can clearly see progress every day. I think you just have to work at it all the time and hope for the best. Good luck, and if you ever want to talk/rant/whatever, feel free to contact me. (:

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E.W.

answers from Boston on

Hi J.
I have a son, Ethan, he is now 5 and is Autistic, he was diognosed at 18 months, and it has been quite a rollercoaster, I dont really know much about your personal situation but belive me we have had our fair share of emotional stress!
I'm happy to talk about that, a problem shared is a problem halved as my mum always says.
(I have 4 kids all together, Ethan is the 2nd eldest).
Take care E. :O)
(we are in the Uk)

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M.A.

answers from Boston on

What kind of brain damage?

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A.L.

answers from Boston on

My girlfriend has a son with Williams Syndrome. She has found a really supportive group of women with other WS children on blogspot.com. (Just do a relevant search). They all blog back and forth and she has made many friends and swopped much support and advice this way. It helps her to know what others are going through and what works for them. Good luck and keep enjoying your precious daughter.

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L.P.

answers from Lewiston on

Hi J., I was a foster mom to my newborn brother and had my baby girl previous to that. My situation was not like your situation is but I have a deep respect for people because of it.
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My brother was born with 3 holes in his heart and a cleft pallet. I took care of him for the first year of his life while my daughter grew up. She is 11 months younger than he. It was very tough during the diaper stage. I did not have time for me nor did I think about time as I struggled to keep both children safe and cared for. It is always good to have someone to help out. You are lucky you have the child care program (your work) to help out.

I am not sure as to what community you live in but here in Lewiston we have a few support programs through the local hospitals.I commend you for your hard work. Some children are born the way they are born, with no scientific explanation while others have explanations found for their situation. It takes caring people like you to make the way through it all. Take care and bless you for caring so much.

L. P.

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C.O.

answers from Boston on

hi J., i'm so sorry you have to deal with such a tragic thing especialy with your first born. well i'm also a mom to a brain damaged lil boy. please email me at ____@____.com so we can talk more. i have alot of resources & such. my lil boy is only 2.5, he will be 3 this april. he has pretty severe brain injury. well i hope to hear from you soon. luv always C. & lil cameron

wwww.cameron42704.zoomshare.com

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H.M.

answers from Boston on

Dear J.,
I am 35 wks pregnant and my child has spina bifida it isnt brain damage but when it comes to drs opinions keep looking till you get your answer dont stop!!!!!! I fortunetly was sent to the best drs and got the right answers.Where are you located?I am from nh and travel to boston once every 2wks now and more after she will be born but I get the greatest advice and support.Do lots of research sweetie and keep your chin up you are loving your child that is number one and again just keep looking!!! GET THAT ANSWER HUN DONT STOP!!!!!
Sincerly H.

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