Moms Driving Alone

Updated on August 24, 2013
C.M. asks from Falls Church, VA
30 answers

Thinking of taking my kids on a "Mom and kids" road trip to see family. ages 3.5, 7 and 9.5. The trip is about 9hrs and would only plan to drive during the day. Husband worried for safety reasons and really doesnt want me to go, stranded by side of road that sort of thing. i keep cancelling then rethinking. for you traveling moms out there how old were your kids before you took your first solo drive with them for 8+ hrs?

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S.K.

answers from Denver on

My kids were 2 and 4 when i took them by myself. If you have a trustworthy car there is no reason to be stranded on the side of the road. I will say though that my husband hates it when I go on long car trips without him because he is more afraid in the event of a serious accident and being left behind. Which I have the same fears if it is him. But we still go and hope for the best.

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L.B.

answers from New York on

Other than the fact that rest stops are a little trickier with multiple kids, I don't see why this is an issue at all. I drive everywhere with a baby and toddler by myself.

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C.V.

answers from Columbia on

Seriously?

I've driven all over the country on my own and have been just fine. What did you do before you had a "big, strong husband to protect you?"

Prepare an emergency kit. Have your phone charger. Know how to change a tire. Go.

My husband knows that I am more than capable of handling myself without his assistance. Yours needs to know it too.

9 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i'd go in a heartbeat! you're a capable adult, right? get AAA and go.
you want your kids to grow up understanding that great adventures trump fears every time.
khairete
S.

6 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Newborn! My older daughter played competitive soccer. She started when she was seven so when my younger two came along they went too. Unless you are driving some beater there is no reason to worry. Not sure how many tournaments we went on but never broke down, never ran out of gas, no creepers bugged us, nothing.

5 moms found this helpful

S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

What if you didn't have a husband? Would you never take your kids on any trips? Your husband is being silly. Take your cell phone with extra chargers, make sure your car is ready (oil change, inspections, etc), make sure you have weather-appropriate clothing and food/water stored in the back, and hit the road, Jack!

5 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Bless his heart. He sounds like my husband, but my husband knows if he tells me no, I will be on my way the next day! Ha!

Actually My husband would be worried, but he knows I have a lot of common sense and am always aware of my surroundings.

Do you have a cell phone?
You could call him every 2 hours, or at the 3 hour spot.

Remind him not to call and expect you to answer while you are behind the wheel. He will need to leave you a message you can respond to him, when you find a safe spot to stop and return his call.

He can track your phone so he can see where you are.

If you have a mapped out plan, that will help him.. This is HIS problem. He will need to make peace with this and decide, what he needs to do to be fine with this trip.

You are the mom and you can handle this.

5 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

I understand his worry (my husband worries when I travel alone too) but HE needs to understand that you are an adult, and a mother, and that you will be just fine.
It's unhealthy to live in fear and not enjoy your life because of all the "what ifs" in the world.
I assume you have a cell phone and will be on well traveled roads so there should be NOTHING to worry about.
Get your car tuned up and go have FUN!!!

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E.T.

answers from Rochester on

This summer I drove 951 miles and 21-1/2 hours over two days alone with my almost 6 yo and almost 4 yo kids. We had a blast. Make sure you take your car in for a road check. Make sure you know how to change a tire or have AAA to call for help. You can easily make a 9 hour drive in one day, however it will probably take an hour or two longer if you factor in stops. I posted a long response a few weeks ago with more details.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

My younger sister has driven from Florida to Massachusetts with her daughter several times. Her daughter is 3. If your car is in good shape and you have a reliable cell phone and AAA or some other roadside service then I think you'll be just fine.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Are you going to be in the middle of the desert or something?

I've made 10 hour trips with three kids all by myself, many times. It's nice that your husband is worried about you, though.

Get AAA, if you don't have it already. It's cheap! One of the best purchases you can make.

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

How many times have you been stranded by the side of the road in your life? Never? Once? How did you handle it then? Were you capable of dealing? If yes, why wouldn't you be now? Does your husband frequently think you're incapable of dealing with adult situations?

Sorry if that sounded snarky but you're a Mom. You deal with crises all day every day. Why wouldn't you be able to handle a nine hour drive? I'd suggest getting the entire group up super early one morning (like 4am) and driving for a few hours in the dark, then driving the rest of the day and arriving in the afternoon. Your 9 year old can help entertain the 3 year old, and they can all play car games and watch videos while you drive.

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S.B.

answers from Houston on

I have driven by myself with the kids a lot. Kentucky to Texas, Houston to Louisiana, Kentucky to Chicago.

I took my fist solo trip when my daughter was about 6 weeks old. It was a 7 hour trip. Not fun, but I did it!!

I did get stranded on one of my trips with the kids from Kentucky to Texas. We spent a lovely evening in Laurel, Mississippi. My husband helped with getting the tow truck, hotel. He was great! Thank God for the internet. The folks there were great and the kids had fun. I made it a mini adventure. You will be fine! Go for it!!!!

3 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I did my first solo drive with my kids last March from Southern Maryland to Raleigh, NC. It's about 6 hours - EASY! My kids were then 8, 6, and 4. The car was brand new (still had dealer tags) so there was no concern for safety...more about me getting lost since I have trouble getting out of an open bag :). But I did great! The kids were wonderful and we had the best weekend!

Since then, I have drivne 4 times to SC, an 8-9 hour drive, on my own with the kids. Twice my parents have followed me, we go to visit my sister. But twice I have done the drive 100% on my own.

My kids travel REALLY well. They sleep a lot, pack enough activites for themselves, and really just enjoy the ride. We go to the bathroom before we leave, don't stop until lunch time to eat and use the bathroom, and then drive again until we get there. They are good with that routine. If we drive with anyone else, we stop way more and the kids even get annoyed.

Your kids are old enough to do fine on the trip. Go for it!! Tell your husband he can support you or come along for the ride :).

ETA: I've been driving without my husband on long trips for a long time - just normally it's for a family thing so there are more cars and I'm not technically alone. But still...I'm grown :).

3 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

Well, my kids are 2, 8, and 11. I just drove them down to Oregon two weeks ago. That took us about 7 hours.
I was fine. I have great insurance and roadside assistance so I wasn't too worried about that.
And the kids are with me ALL the time, so it's not like it was any different for me to have all the kids. This time we were just in the car.
Today I am getting ready to drive 3 hours north for soccer for my son. Bringing all 3 kids. Doing it again tomorrow and we will be up north all day and then driving back at night. Doing it again on Sunday. My husband has to work so I am on my own.
L.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I drove from Chicago to D.C. last year when the kids were 6, 3, and 18 months. It was surprisingly easy! My husband was very worried too, but to put his mind at ease, I went onto the AAA website and plotted out my trip. I found every mall and Target along the way and made note of the address. I created a document that listed where my stops would be, the mileage, and how much time it would take to drive between each stop.

I made the trip over two days, and the kids had a blast. We made sure to stay in a hotel in a safe area. I only drove during the day. I also took the car in to check the oil and tire pressure before setting out on our trip. If you don't have a AAA membership, I would highly recommend it.

Be sure to keep a cell phone charger in your car. If you don't have a bluetooth speaker phone in your car for cell phone calls, you can buy a GPS unit that has one. This way if your husband wants to call you when you're driving, your hands are free, and he can talk to the kids too. My kids thought it was such a treat to watch DVDs in the car. They had wireless headphones so I got to listen to my music while driving.

You can do it! Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Phoenix on

Last October I drove from the Phoenix area to the Colorado Springs area alone with my kids. It took about 14 hours and I did it in one day. My kids were 3, 5.5, and 8. I had my cell phone and a few supplies in the trunk. My husband checked the tires and tire pressure before we left and made sure we had enough fluids in the vehicle. We brought dvd's, snacks, and candy to help pass the time. Overall we had a great time. The kids did great and I thought the trip went well.

3 moms found this helpful

V.K.

answers from Minneapolis on

We have family 6 hours in one direction (North Dakota) and more family 6 hours in the other direction (Wisconsin). My mom has been taking my sisters and I (One sister is 2 years younger than I and the other sister is 4 years younger than I) since I was born. My dad is a dairy farmer and that is a job that doesn't get a lot (Any, really) vacation time. It was always just mom and me or mom, me, and my sisters. Yes, there were some flat tires. Yes, there were some unexpected stops. But really, especially now-a-days with cell phone service and everything else, you will be fine.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

I drove across country with my 3 year old and three month's pregnant to Quebec. It took a week of driving because we stayed at hotels each night for a good rest.

Just make sure the car is checked out and the fluids full. Take your cell phone and extra chargers, snacks, swimsuits and extras and go. Make it an adventure that the older kids will talk about for years to come.

You can't keep sitting home and wondering what could/should have -- you have to just do it.

Enjoy the trip. Show hubby you all did it together and had a great time.
Report back to us on how it all went.

the other S.

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S.L.

answers from Appleton on

Wow! I have been traveling by car alone with my kids since they were less than a year old. I have taken many trips to see my brother who lives 8 hours away without my husband. When my kids were 8 and 10 I took a trip across the country to see some National Parks with my kids and my husband flew and met us to drive back with us. Having cell phones and navigation these days makes all the difference! Go and enjoy, show your kids you are not dependent on others!

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S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

I've been travelling alone with my kids since they were about three, but we never go more than three or four hours away. I have CAA (like your AAA) in case of a breakdown. We often go camping alone while my husband is working and have never had any problems.

2 moms found this helpful

⊱.⊰.

answers from Spokane on

My husband worries too, but I still go.
My boys are 9 and 5 and I have been taking road trips with them since day one. My husband works most weekends and I'm not about to hang out at home every single weekend just b/c he has to work.
We have AAA, I don't use rest areas I go to restaurants, I have a cpl and carry when traveling, I text/call at stops to let him know where we are and always keep my gas tank about 1/2 full.

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C.C.

answers from New York on

As soon as the kids are able to sit quietly for 9 hours, it should be fine.

Til then, I would want an extra set of hands along for the ride!!

I wouldn't worry so much about roadside assistance and stuff like that - just need AAA, good weather to drive in, etc.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Get AAA and a cell phone and a reliable GPS and make the trip. I've not gone 9 hours, but I have done 7 with my child, then 3. I also drove about 6 hours with just DD and a friend when she was an infant. We make sure the car is checked out, topped off, etc. before any trip. Take your time, plan on unplanned potty trips and call your DH now and then (at least to tell him you arrived). I think the first time I drove 2 hours with DD alone she was an infant. I also had a regular 45 minute commute so "long car trip" was relative. The only accident I got in was the fender bender in stuffed up traffic not far from my own house.

My take is that I'm a capable driver and a capable parent. If I can make the trip with DH, I can also make it without him. Just be smart about it.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Get AAA if you don't already have it. Set up a process of checking in, etc.

I drove every weekend from San Fran to LA by myself because hubby was on a job there. No kids, but if you plan the route, make sure the car is in good shape, and have an emergency plan in place and AAA in case you break down, I don't see why you wouldn't go. The only thing I would wonder about is how well the kids behave. Have a plan to keep them occupied, give them responsibilities for the trip so that it's fun, but they behave. It could be an awesome experience, and adventure :)

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

MY daughter wasn't quite 2 and my son was 4. We went to see my mom, 17 hours away.

AAA is an option, although, we have never really considered it. We do get the car checked out by our mechanic before we leave. I suppose if we ever break down, I would do exactly that I'd do if were husband was with me. Check in with my family and let them know, call a tow truck and find a hotel. My hubby is pretty mechanically inclined, but cars are no longer what they used to be...fixing it by the side of the road isn't really a feasible option either. I do know how to change a flat, so I could do that in a pinch.

I bring my laptop with me. I have my cell phone and chargers for each. I call periodically and check in with my hubby and mom to let both ends know where we are. I travel during the day and stop at bigger, busier chain gas stations (bucees, Loves, etc.) . I periodically check my fluid levels on my car.

It's never been a big deal. The kids love the adventure. I enjoy the trip too (not the endless driving, but the trip for sure!).

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T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

This spring I am getting ready to drive solo 15+ hours with a newborn baby and a 3 year old. I just plan on taking my time and planning on making several stops. More power to you. I would tell your husband that you can handle it. At least if they are in a car you can contain them until at home where they aren't buckled in.

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J.O.

answers from Detroit on

Never, lol. It's just a chance for a car accident. We did do a 2 hour trip on empty roads, though.

I am not a road-tripper. All I see are the crosses on the side of the road. And my 3 and 7 YO would whine or cry in a car that long. No thanks!

But have fun if you do go. Seeing family is important. Tough choice.

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G.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I've been taking my kids on multiday road trips without my hubby ever since I got the last one out of diapers, so the first trip would have been around the time he was 2.5 and his sister was 5.5. If you have a working cell phone and AAA, there is no safety concern that would not equally apply if your husband were with you. A 9 hour trip you can accomplish during daylight hours in a single day. Just remember that since you are traveling with children, it will be a ten and a half hour trip, because potty stops take time, and you'll want at least one play/food break about midway through.

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I was a single mom most of my daughter's life. Our first big trip together was from Baton Rouge to Orlando - she was five and I took her to Disney World - just the two of us.
When she was 12, we drove from BR to Columbus, OH for a retreat.
Didn't own a cell phone, didn't have AAA or GPS - just a map.
Go for it. Check the fluids and tire pressure before you leave, make sure your spare has air and you have all your jack parts and a tire iron, and hit the road.

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