Mommy the Pacifier

Updated on March 06, 2008
J.L. asks from Corvallis, OR
6 answers

My sweet little one is now 9 months old. She decided a few months back (or maybe longer) that she didnt want to take the paifier anymore. This is all fine and dandy except she doesnt know how to self-sooth. When I nurse her throughout the night she gets mad when I pull her off when she is done eating, and throws a fit till I let her latch back on. She usually just suckles at this point, and I cant get her off till she is asleep. We live in a duplex and the rooms are close together. IF I let her cry she wakes up her dad and sister (who is 7). Aside from not nursing her, how can I break this? She also wakes quite often during the night and cant get herself back to sleep unless I hold her and nurse or give her a bottle. This very tired mommy would really love to get some sleep.

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So What Happened?

I would like to thank all of you for your input. I have alot of problems with my back and neck, and this makes it difficult to have a nursing baby sleep with us. I have always encouraged my kids to sleep in their beds, and would make a few exceptions (like being ill). I know co-sleeping works well for some.
Anyway, I think we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have started giving her bottles(milk or water)at night and lay down next to her in my bed. She is falling asleep faster, and i move her to the crib. I dont pick her up as much now that i can give her the bottle in the crib. She is waking less at night now. Last night she only woke at 4am!!

More Answers

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B.P.

answers from Seattle on

J., I feel that if you start to co-sleep with her, you are just asking for another problem for later when you want her in her own bed. I don't understand why all these moms do that, but you need to let her learn to self soothe so she will be a more independent and secure child. You should always let her know that you are there, but just to check on her and tell her she's alright. If she always needs mom to make her feel secure, when will you be able to leave her when you need to? My kids were great at going to bed when they were babies, but I did spend a lot of before time with them. If she still needs to suck, she will find her thumb eventually. As other training,it may take some time, but be consistant. She should be sleeping through the night and so should you. If she wakes up for awhile longer, give her something else, like drink from a cup or just pat her back for awhile. If she is getting solids in the evening then she shouldn't be hungry. Cereal will definately help her sleep through the night.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Anchorage on

Just take her to bed with you and go to sleep yourself. You'll get rest, she'll be comforted, and nobody will have to get up and down at night.

If that is off limits to you for some reason, then just nurse her until she's asleep. It's not going to hurt anybody, and she'll probably nod off more quickly if you don't rouse her by trying to take her off the breast.

Children often need both comfort and to nurse more around that age. She is possibly hitting a growth spurt and thus a nursing marathon to increase your supply (remember, suckling after the true nursing will still provide the appropriate stimulation for this). Another possibility is that it is a reaction to new found independence. When babies learn that they can crawl/walk/climb they often realize that their world has gotten bigger and they need extra reassurance that you are there to comfort them even as they become more independent. Believe it or not, indulging the child, showing her that you are really always there for her, will produce a much more securely independent older child and adult in the future!

In short, don't fight it. It'll be ok in the end.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Yakima on

I can totally relate! My son is now 20 months old. We co-sleep and his sister sleeps in the same room as us. I've done everything a good attachment parent should do (within my own personal limits) and yet I am still tied down... often. He won't let me wander from him when he is sleeping for more than an hour, day or night. Especially mornings when I would love to get up, pee and get a drink. Sometimes I can, for about 5 minutes before he wakes up and we are back nursing again. Most of the time I can time it to a growth spurt, illness etc. But not always. He did find his thumb around 3 months but abandoned that at 6 months. I'd love to hear if you get any different responses besides crying it out.

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B.A.

answers from Seattle on

I would take her into bed with you so you can both sleep. My girls sleep with me and I get much more sleep than I would if they were waking up somewhere else without me. I have friends who co-slept with their older children and the children always move out of the bed eventually. My older daughter is 2 and usually starts off the night in her own bed and then comes into our bed if she needs me in the middle of the night. The baby starts off with us and stays with us. Eventually she'll move into the other room/bed with her sister :)

Best wishes!

~B.

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi J.,

She is old enough now that you can add rice formula to her diet. That will help her tummy feel more full and she should sleep better and longer. :) You may have already done this. Also, if she is teething, you can try a teething ring instead of a pacifier. This worked with our daughter. :) Oh, and another thing for teeth is herbal teething tablets!

Blessings,

K.S.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Start with naps so she doesn't wake everyone else, and refuse your breast when the meal is over. Try to move nursing earlier so it is not part of the bedtime and naptime routine. This way she will have to learn another way to sooth herself. It's not going to be easy, because babies are so stubborn and demand what they want furiously. Once you get daytime and bedtime figured out, midnight feedings will follow.

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