He needs a swift kick in the rear!
I recently got back together with my husband after about 8 months of separation because he started acting like a jerk to me. We didn't have much of a marriage to begin with, we never worked together or had much of a bond. We acted like we were still dating, but lived in the same house. When we had our son I was ready for change and he wanted to still act like a kid.
I decided to leave when he developed an inappropriate relationship with some idiotic girl at work and didn't want to give it up. He claimed they were just friends, but I'm no fool. You don't sneak phonecalls in the middle of the night with a "friend." Anyway...he was fine with the separation, he apparently wanted to be free anyway. But he straightened up and really changed when he realized how empty his life was without his family. Now things are better than ever, so I'm glad I gave him another chance.
I'm a woman who believes in forgiveness and second chances, but from what you're saying in your message, it doesn't sound like your husband has much potential for improvement. It really does sound like he's using you and you have to do something about it. You and your daughter are being neglected. Is there any chance of getting him into counseling? Could you drum up any support from his family? What about his friends; are their spouses also being neglected?
I wish I knew what you should do. Something has to change. It's not fair to you or your daughter. Pray for strength. I wish you the best.
-T. Q