Mom Seeking Advice About Possible Problem Between Baby and Pet

Hi - I suggest you talk to two-three dog trainers and get their professional opinions, that's what we did...W.

Um, why isn't anyone just saying to give the dog away?!? This is your child at risk here! I have a good friend who had two springer spaniels. One of them got a little agressive toward their toddler daughter. It broke their hearts to say goodbye to this dog who had been a part of their family for years and never apart from his canine partner, but their DAUGHTER CAME FIRST!!! In all the time it would take to go to classes, hire a doggy nanny, blah, blah, blah, their dog could've done something worse! We need to quit elevating animals to human status. A little exercise isn't gonna drive the wolf out of the dog. Dogs are dogs. Some dogs are nice in any situation. Some dogs are always mean. Some dogs change their behavior depending on what's going on around them. KIDS COME FIRST! When I was little our dog bit the neighbor boy and almost took out his eye. My dad wanted to shoot the thing, but my mom talked him into calling the humane society. Our dog had always been agressive, but he was a good guard dog for our country home. My dad ALWAYS REGRETTED how many people he let that dog bite before he sent him away. Don't let it go that far. Re-home him to a place where he's happy or call the human society.

Dog's live in a world where hierarchy is everything. Your dog has readily accepted that the adults in your household are first, and he then would come next. When your baby was born, he assumed that baby then comes after him. In the dog world, you have to prove your dominance in order to move up the ranks. This is why it is never safe to leave a dog alone with a baby. What we did is as soon as our kids were old enough, we started training our dog with the kids. The kids held the treat, and told the dog to sit or whatever, and then they gave him the treat. We also trained him by putting the kids on the floor with food and seriously scolding the dog if he tried to steal it. You need to brush up on dog behavior, and come up with your own ways to teach the dog that baby dominates him. Remember that in the dog world, lower dogs never are allowed to sleep with alpha dogs, lower dogs never eat with or before alpha dogs, but are served afterward, alpha dogs always walk in the front when walking together, etc.

Lack of exercise can make the problem way worse too. It is important to teach your dog that baby comes first because if baby hurts the dog, you want him to know that it is never okay to retaliate!

I've been recently going through the same thing, so I completely understand your predicament of creating a safe environment for your child and pet, and wanting to be a responsible pet owner. When we had an incident with one dog and our daughter, my mother said we should get rid of the dog, b/c if our child ever did get hurt, we would never forgive ourselves, etc. But I felt it wasn't fair for the dog; he wasn't behaving aggressively, he was just reacting as a dog would, and it's my responsibility to keep them BOTH (child and dog) safe.

I have two dogs, ages 4 and 3, both very active. They were both very good with our daughter as an infant, but once she became a toddler (walking, running, and eating solids), I've had to change things. We're expecting another baby soon, so we really wanted to sort out the dogs before the baby arrives. Here's what is currently working for us:

1. One dog was more of a risk than the other, so I immediately had him evaluated by a training consultant on the Oregon Humane Society. Their 1-hr one-on-one training consultation is reasonably priced, and I wanted advice on how to keep my child safe with the dog, as well as whether my dog can even handle living in a young child household.
http://www.oregonhumane.org/pet_training/class_offerings.asp
To schedule a consultation: call ###-###-#### x225

2. Whenever our daughter (or other members of the family) are eating, the dogs are confined to a pen. Since she snacks a lot, this means that the dogs spend most of the day in their pen (in the same room as us) except for naps or playtime outside, etc. They're happy to be in the pen; they just sleep all day anyway.

3. Dogs need exercise, so you need to make that commitment to provide the exercise. It's tough for us right now; I'm hugely pregnant and not enjoying long walks right now, and my husband only has so much time when he comes home at night. But it will make a difference. I like the suggestion by a previous poster to hire a teenage to run/walk the dog...I hadn't thought of that!

4. Recommitment to basic training...a few minutes each day. This is also hard to remember to do, but so helpful. I really recommend training books by Patricia McConnell.

5. Start teaching your child appropriate ways to interact with the dog, under your supervision. Brushing, playing fetch, etc. Establish the rules and stick to them so she learns to respect the dog.

FWIW, we have decided to keep both dogs right now, with the knowledge that when the new baby comes, the "problem" dog may not be able to handle the added intensity in the household, so we may need to rehome him at that time.

HTH, M.

Hello E.,

you may not like this answer, but you truly have to ask yourself whether you are able to tackle this challenge.

With the challenges that your family is facing are you able to give your dog the supervision, excercise and training that he needs in order to not be a threat to your child. Are you able to go back to taking him for a run/hike several times a week, can you pay for dog training and doggy daycare?

Once a dog has exhibited threatening behaviour towards a child you should get professional help to address this immediately (if you have the time and money for it) or find a new home for your pet.
You may love your pet, but you will forever regret if something happens to your daughter, because you hesitated to take action.

I would need to know the circumstances of the aggression but if you felt your daughter was in danger, then you MUST remedy the situation immediately to avoid a tragedy. YES, a black lab is not a rottweiler or pit bull but it is a big dog and can cause serious and even fatal damage to a toddler. Do NOT let your daughter climb on the dog or act in irritating manner towards him and NEVER leave any child alone with an animal.. Tragedy takes only seconds. I would call a professional trainer and give them the circumstances of the aggression and see what they say. If you can't afford the services of a professional right now, you can call the King County animal services or humane society near you and they can recommend assistance. No, I do not recommend immediately rehoming a pet because a child has entered the scene, but they need vigilance.

Good Luck!

H.

I want to encourage you to keep working with your dog. I see a lot of responces that you have goten that focus on scare tactics. It sounds like you love your dog and don't want to treat him like yesterdays' garbage as many have recommended you do.

Controling the enviroment, exercise, and a good trainer are the big 3 in this situation. Dogs don't understand that non-verbal infants/todlers are humans just like adults. Therefore, they will often try to assert them selves over these young children just as they would another dog, or any other animal. Your child is also at the exploring age and will more than likely mistreat your dog. These facts do not mean it can't work out . . . it just means that you have to be 100% on top of the situation or they have to be seperate at those time when your attention is needed elsewhere.

Keep your chin up and remember that you are onthe right track!

Good Luck!

Aggressive behavior from your dog is very disconcerting. Your daughter is not old enough that you can effectively teach her not to antagonize the dog. If the dog is feeling like he wants to establish dominance over your daughter she may not even have to do anything to provoke him. Our Weimaraner was fine with our baby until she started to walk. Once she was at his eye level we began to have problems. We hired a trainer to come to our house and then a dog behavior specialist when things didn't improve. We loved our dog too and kept working with him despite objections from our family and friends. Our situation eneded tragically. I had a hysterectomy just after my daughter turned one. My husband had gone out of town a week later and out of nowhere the dog attacked me! He bit my incision open and I was rushed to the ER. I think he saw that I was weak and my husband wasn't there and he was trying to assert himself as leader of the pack. I am just so grateful he attacked me and not daughter! We couldn't take any more cahnces after that. I had him put to sleep...

I think you mostly answered your own question, actually. Your dog is used to exercise, and NEEDS it. I know how hard it is, we struggle with the same thing here, but without the exercise he is stressed and confused too. He is unhappy, and starting to show that frustration. He probably has begun to associate his frustration with your daughter. You need to get him out and exercised - and it would probably help your state of mind as well. I am a big Cesar Milan fan, and that is his number one prescription for owners. His books and TV show are helpful as well as far as showing when/how to set boundaries and rules for dogs. Send me a note directly if you would like some links to info.

As a side note, I believe all dogs should be closely supervised around little ones. I love my three like they were my furry kids, but I always remember they are dogs, and do not think the way we do. Also, toddlers especially are notorious for pulling, poking and generally exploring. It is possible that happened when you didn't see, and now your dog perceives your daughter as a threat.

Good Luck!
K.

Updated response:

You have gotten all the advice that I would have given you from other moms. I thought Michelle S, Lucy L, Mel C and Katherine S were beautifully on target, as were some other comments. They have said everything I would have told you.

Exercise, in particular, will reduce stress not only for the dog but for the rest of you, too. Well, after you figure out how to fit it into your lives, that is. Reprioritizing is always difficult, so you will experience that as a bit of stress before your new arrangements become habitual. So there are lots of things you can try, while always staying vigilant to keep dog and toddler separated until patterns change. If that itself proves to be too stressful instead of relieving stress, you may need to look again at finding new digs for the dog. It may end up being a kindness to all of you, including your beloved pet.

My best to you.

Original response:

I'm good with dogs, but really need more to go on before I could make any reasonable suggestions. Can you edit your post (or write me directly) to give more information about the circumstances? What precipitated the behavior, what did the dog do exactly, how did your daughter react, what did you do to control the situation, how responsive was the dog – and any other details that you think might contribute to a solution. And have you seen any previous signs from the dog that might have warned of escalating behavior? Is the dog male or female? Neutered?

A touchy problem. Sorry life is so tough right now, but that could be the heart of the dog's problem. I hope you can get useful help.

Put the baby in the stroller, put on your running shoes, tie the pup to the stroller and go running. This will ease your tension, give the baby fresh air, and give the pup his needed exercise.

You could watch Ceaser Milan, Dog Whisperer, on The National Geographical channel Friday nights, he deals with lots of dog problems, and you might gets some ideas.

The safety of your baby must come first. You've received some suggestions for managing the dog's behavior but no one so far has emphasized your baby's safety.

Until you know that your dog will not be aggressive with her do not put her anywhere that the dog can reach, especially do not put her on the floor when the dog is in the room.

One of my co-workers in the sheriff's office had a canine partner. He was playing with the dog when the dog suddenly lunged at him and nearly bit off his ear. Being in the same room with your baby and the dog will not prevent the dog from injuring your baby if he's of a mind to do so.

When my granddaughter was crawling she reached for a bone that the dog had left in the living room. Our dog growled, which scared my granddaughter enough so that she dropped the bone and the dog picked it up. Everything was fine. Our dog is very meek but he could not tolerate a baby messing with his bone. After that we kept all of the dogs things including food away from the baby. That meant that he didn't have them either but he didn't seem to mind. He had already learned that the adults were the pack leader. He never growled at her again. Once she started walking he tolerated having her "play" with him even tho his demeanor showed that he didn't enjoy the encounter.

Our dog weighs 12 or so pounds and had never been aggressive except with other dogs. Even then he ran if the other dog was aggressive back.
He was also an inactive dog.

I would've been more concerned if our dog had been larger and more aggressive, even mildly, at other times. I was still somewhat concerned and watched him closely for several weeks. If there had been a second incident we would've found another home for him. Doing so would've been very difficult, emotionally, for all of us including the dog.

If I was in a position as stressful as you must be in I would find another temporary home for him. One of the pet stores provides foster homes for animals. Perhaps you could foster him out until your daughter is older. Perhaps a friend or relative could keep him for awhile. Not only would you be ensuring your daughter's safety but there would be someone else observing his behavior and providing for his needs.

You might be able to get an evaluation and advice from the SPCA or another place that provides care for animals. I've not been involved with these professionals and so I'm only guessing that they might help.

Another suggestion is that your dog will be more aggressive when a baby gets into his territory if he's ill or in pain.

My main thought is to keep the baby and dog separated.

you might want to speak to an obedience coach and see what tricks they have to avoid those instances. Labs are generally a more mild mannered breed I think, so hopefully it's something simple that can be taken care of quickly. I agree with the posts below. Make time to exercise the dog, do you have a little back/side yard he can play in?

your dog must have more exersize - or you could have a tragedy. Hire a teen to run your dog- --- just don't hope- E.- take action - call churches near you and ask for a low-cost dog runner --- do something -

many blessings,
J.

E., B,

How old is your dog ? You do not say, and Have you had the dog a long time before baby was born now that she is fourteen months A couple suggestions here. you may need to find some time to walk again the dog or hire someone to do so for an hour a day, if you do take the baby along for interactions with the dog,at a resting moment, the dog may have a slight jealousy yes its true, Second thing when the baby is playing near the dog you need to watch over them and get involved with play time back and forth between the dog and baby, work on showing the dog he's just as important especially if you had him first then as you have fun he's learning patience you then can reward him with a snack even help the baby to give him one and if so alway with the dog and baby around together you have to keep repeating a lot to the dog be nice be good thats baby now at first may take a nose tap but will be well worth the love. Have fun,

Okay..having had some experience with larger aggressive dogs I can tell you..its not the 3.5 yr old he is mad at. He may be showing jealousy because the child and you have been sick. First of all get between you and child and block the child from view if possible. Also he may be protecting against some unseen threat. (Unseen from you). I say this only because when my son was 4 he was diagnosed diabetic..due largely in part to some very aggressive behavior on the part of our dog. (He's a Golden Retriever mix.) He kept my son from going into a coma..so before you get mad...do a little snooping to see if there is something. For the time being do keep them supervised together. When the dog is behaving make sure you acknowledge that. Perhaps see if there is a neighbor kid that could play fetch with him or something every day for awhile. (Either volunteer or pay the kid like 5 bucks a day to play with your dog for an entire hour..and keep him moving. At home..you can make it easier for him simply by including him..invite him along to do the laundry..at least he's there :) And when the child is sleeping invite him to spend time with the grown ups. (We do this with our dog..he's 9 and a little beyond the hubbub of the kids and it gets a little overwhelming)> My suggestion for a little while is to keep an eye on things. Definitely watch the dog and child together. Tell the dog you love her as much as you always did. (Cus ya do) and try your best to make him a friend or two outside the house..he's lonely no doubt for some of his own kind too. Especially if used to daycare. Find friends with dogs and start a dog-park group for Sunday afternoons, and Wednesday evenings or something. It will be good for him and you can work on obedience and stuff at home (this gives you a good reason to say things like "good dog" and stuff like that. Be understanding and they will too. For the sake of safety and the poor dog's sanity perhaps make sure there is no way for the child to take the dog's food, water or toys for awhile. This can cause issues with any dog but one already feeling usurped will retaliate. (Mine chews up my socks and underwear and I guess I'd rather that than aggressive at kids) . Also, next time this happens..(if it happens), snap a leash on him and tie him to the nearest sturdy table (or other furniture he cannot move)and tell him "Bad Manners!" Don't say bad dog..doesn't mean anything anyway. (Bad dog? Where? Grrr....) Anyway, walk away after restraining him and leave him alone to think on it. Give him a chance to redeem himself after a couple of hours. Perhaps he was just overwhelmed that one time.

Good luck. However, if it doesn't change do consider rehoming to a spot where there are no young children. This dog may simply need more attention than you can handle now. (Some are like that..especially higher strung breeds). Like I said getting an older kid to come by and take him for a run or to play may be the best bet..as long as they get along!

My good friends had a black lab whom they had raised from a pup and was essentially their first child. He was a great dog and never violent until the day he bit their 2 year old daughter in the face, less than an inch from her eye. The emerency room visit was made even worse when they had to admit that their own dog had done this to their daughter.
They gave the dog away the next day but their now 5 year old still has the scar from the bite.

Even the best tempered pet can eventually get annoyed, this age child is good at it. Make sure the pet gets the attention he needs, also, I think the Willamette Humane Society has a class on this?

We also have a black lab. He gets super barkey and crazed when he doesn't get enough walks and stimulation. It kind of sounds like you have a similar situation on your hands, except the crazyness is being directed toward your kid. Try and figure out how to get that puppy out more for running or swimming (that works for our dog). Good luck, its hard to get everything done in a day when times are stressful. I wish you luck and happy times for the family

If you know your pet isn't getting the exercise it needs, that's part of the problem. Exercise your pet. Getting out to walk the dog might actually help relieve some of the stress you feel. You also need to CLEARLY establish where your dog is on the food chain (so to speak). Check out a dog training book from the library to read up on ways to do this. I recommend any one of the Monks of Skete series. If you are truly fearful the dog is going to attack your child, then you need to remove your pet from the household. I don't say this lightly as we have a German Shepherd Dog and two cats that we love in the house with our one year old son. If you think there is an easy solution and that this incident was a rare occurrence brought on by a situation that could have been avoided, then you should be able to keep your dog. Good luck.