Mom in Need of a Friend to Talk/email.

Updated on May 27, 2010
M.M. asks from Middletown, DE
36 answers

This may seem somewhat of a strange request but I am a person that suffers with Meniere's disease. It prevents me from driving very much and I have never taken my son anywhere by my self. I don't have any friends and I don't want to burden anyone to have to take me and my son anywhere. So I stay home with him. I don't even have a babysitter for him. I can't leave him with anyone. Last time I left him with his grandmother and he freaked out last weekend when he saw her. My husband is not the most understanding person and is busy with work and his social life.

It is tough for me because I am always at home and I wish I had a friend to talk to. So if you would like to say hello to me I would be very grateful. :)

Thank you.

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So What Happened?

I am so grateful to everyone for reaching out to me and offering advice. I feel very blessed and very relieved. Thank you all so very much. I am still working my way through responding to everyone. God Bless You All! :)

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N.W.

answers from Pittsburgh on

hey my name is N. and i am a stay at home mom and I have two kids Kendal is almost 4 and Colton is almost 3 I will email with you. [email protected]____.com

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N.S.

answers from Philadelphia on

feel free to e-mail me anytime. I work fulltime and have 4 boys and no money really to do anything so e-mail me.. That is what I do with a lot of my friends. I live in the Skippack area.

N.

[email protected]____.com

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K.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I would love to be a friend to you. The best way to reach me is by email or cell phone. ###-###-####, [email protected]____.com.

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A.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Oh Dear M.,

What a personal struggle for you in dealing with Meniere's. My father-in-law suffered for years until he finally had surgery to put grommets in his ears and the end result was that the grommets didn't work but losing his hearing did.

About your feelings of isolation, why not join Facebook? It is not a replacement for actual interaction but it might help. Also, instead of going out you could invite other moms/dads in to your home for playdates. Look on the internet for local chapters of "mom's clubs" and usually they have an internet group or at least a contact number for the president. I am sure they would be accomodating to your disability.

Stay strong! And being a stay-at-home mom is isolating in itself without the limitations of an equilibrium disorder.

And with regard to your husband. he can give up a social activity to drive you somewhere to meet with someone while he spends quality time with his son. If he is not willing to do at least this, there is something wrong with HIS priorities and a much larger issue at hand to address.

Fondly,
ann m.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M., sorry to hear you feel so alone. My advice is for you to reach out to a support group for moms in your area, that would be a good start to meet others so you and your son can socialize. Also, is there a support group out there with people with Meniere's disease? I know about getting stuck at home, I learned how to drive late in life and I just learned it while I was pregnant to get ready for my son's arrival so I can have the independence of driving him around once I delivered him. Hang in there and start with those two things I suggested and I am sure you and your son will meet lots of interesting people. Goodluck and God Bless.

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B.

answers from York on

My heart goes out to you. I think that you should continue to try to have a social life and leave your son with someone like a grandparent. He will eventually get used to it and it does not harm him to cry, it is more harmful to you to never get out.

Also, I think your relationship with your husband needs to be addressed. He doesn't sound like he is very willing to help and he should, that's marriage. I am sorry for you and don't blame you for his behavior. If he was more understanding, your life would be easier. Also, a church that has a bus can help you get out of the home.

Good luck

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A.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.,
You have probably recieved a bunch of emails by now but in case you haven't I could always use a new friend, as we all can. I would love to get to know you better. Here is a little bit about myself:

I am a 38 year old married mother of two boys, 5 (just about to turn 6) and 10 years old. I work full time plus sell Tastefully Simple which I love. I live in the Phoenixville area. With my two jobs, my house and my kids and their activities I am really busy but can always find time for a friend. I love to email (that's my main form of communication because I HATE the phone, always have). I don't really have any hobbies because I don't have the time.

If you'd like to get to know me better please respond at your earliest convenience.

Hope to hear from you,
A.

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L.N.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.,

My names L.. My email is [email protected]____.com.

D.S.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi M.,

Get in touch with an Alternative Medicine Physician.

www.acam.com

or get in touch with a local support group for Meniere's

Good luck. D.

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M.L.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi Sweeetie How are you?

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E.B.

answers from Allentown on

Hon I know the problem I have a birth effect myself and a lot of people have a problem with that. and I I had it with my baby who now is a grown soldier boy. He was a problem child and I a single parent. So few would baby sit him as he was a terror. couldn't even work so it has turned me into a homebody . But I have a lot of on line friends thanks to the puter. if you ever n eed to talk i am on yahoo IM as erikarose1. Have a sweet blessed day

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A.G.

answers from Reading on

Feel free to email me, anytime. I am the only one of my circle of close friends who has children. So I tend to be left out of gatherings or get togethers. I too, find myself feeling kind of lonely, at times.

my email is [email protected]____.com

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E.S.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.. I'm sorry you feel so constricted by your ailment. Please forgive me if I offend you, but what treatments have you tried? I ask because I'm a pharmacist, and while I'm only vaguely familiar with this disease, I looked up some info and found there are a lot of ways to try and treat it. I hope something works for you because there's lots to do in the world, and maybe this would also help your son get used to other people so you can take a break. I feel for you. I'm not the world's greatest pen pal, but feel free to email me. I've got 3 kids, 8, 6, and 3, so I may be able to give you advice on certain things (I'm sure a lot of the moms here have offered their help). I hope your husband comes around soon, it's important for both of you to be on the same page, with everything involving the family. Good luck, and maybe I'll talk to you soon!

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L.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Feel free to message me or email me at anytime

[email protected]____.com

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L.S.

answers from Lancaster on

M.,

In this day and age they can do surgery to help with the Menieres. A friend of mine had it and wasn't able to do anything for months. She finally found a doctor and they gave her medicine adn then surgery and she is fine now. She drives, is very active and has a grandson now so she can enjoy spending time with him.

As for your son, you need to let him be with other people for short periods of time to understand that mommy can't be with him 24/7. It's not good for either of you to be trapped in the house. You sound like such a wonderful person and you should be living life.

Your husband, well, if he doesn't want to help you or spend time with his son then you need to move on. That's not healthy either.

Please contact a doctor though and see what can be done. IF the first one says nothing get a second opinion and keep going until you find a doctor who can help you. No one should have to live trapped in their home. Especially now with advanced medicine.

Best of luck to you and your son.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.,
It must be hard feeling isolated. How old is your son? Please feel free to private message me to chat at any time....hang in there. Sometimes motherhood seems like a very lonely business--even when things are at their best.
Denise

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L.R.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.,
I read your post the other day and didn't have time to respond. I haven't been able get you off my mind. I too am a SAHM. I have a 3yr old & almost 5yr old boys. I am expecting a girl any day now. I am not familiar w/ menieres disease but plan to google it today. I know what it feels like to be lonely. I moved an hr away from my very small family (parents & 1 sibling) 9yrs ago to be w/ my husband. I was surrounded by his large family and many friends. But, to this day, sometimes I feel as if I don't belong. I know it's all "me" cuz they have never done anything to make me feel this way. I know you got a lot of responses from people, but if you need one more person to be your friend, I would love to be. my email is [email protected]____.com. I also have unlimited long distance so I could call you during the day when it can be the loneliest. I will be busy w/ a new baby here soon, but will make time for myself and my friends. You included.

L.

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J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

M.,

I'm sorry to hear of your Meniere's. My mother has this and we believe my grandmother had it too. I suffer from positional vertigo, but I believe mine is a vestibular migraine. Have you talked to Dr. Papparella in Minneapolis. He specializes in Meniere's and has been studying it for over 30 years. He performed surgery on my mother about 15 years ago that helped tremendously. I don't think he performs the surgery anymore but he has a bunch of associates that do. Look him up online or I cann get you his contact info. There's no reason for you to continue to suffer with this disabling condition.

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G.H.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi Marci...sorry to hear about your struggle with Meniere's. My husband also suffers from Meniere's; however, his situation does not seem to be as severe as yours. He is able to function fairly normally. He only suffers in his right ear, where his hearing has been slowly decreasing over the past few years. He really can't hear anything in his right ear without the help of his hearing aid, but even that doesn't do much to help anymore. He does though, hear a constant ringing in his right ear--I can't imagine how awful that is. He has trouble in large crowds, i.e. restaurants, parties, etc. With voices coming from all directions, he cannot focus in on just one and it can sometimes lead to vetrigo. Additionally, too much salty food, boats, and exhaustion also cause him to him terrible cases of vertigo.

Where do you live? I am in the Quakertown area and have an almost 2 year old son. How old is your son? Hopefully this will be a good way for you to meet new people as well as providing you a way to communicate with other moms w/o having to leave your home. Take care!

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A.E.

answers from Harrisburg on

well M....I'm A. and I live in Shippensburg..I too have a disease that is very hard to live a normal life with...but not as bad it sounds like..I think that you need to first get your son past this not going to anyone else, my daughter did the same thing for a while and I would actually have to just walk away from her screaming...it wasn't that she didn't like the person I was leaving her with, it was she was way too attached to ME. So it may take some heartstring pulling but you have to let him go with someone else someday!! Let him freak! he's a kid, he'll get over it!
And as far as friends go...I don't know where you live but I do know there is a mom to mom group in Chambersburg at the King Street Church on certain Thrusday's of the month, and they do events throughout the month..I bet they would be more than happy to have someone pick you up, they are a rather large group and they have a nursery set up with freed daycare ladies for the kids (in the church nursery) during the meeting..here is the number for the church ###-###-#### and you can email me if you want!!
And just remember, with people who have diseases like us you have to take on the mindset of "It just is what it is and I have to make my life, not let it make my life for me"
Good luck

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K.B.

answers from Harrisburg on

You're more than welcome to join our chat and event group in Harrisburg. Members live within 2 hours of Harrisburg. You can ask about playgroups and there's tons of events where you can go and meet people.

Harrisburg PA Chat
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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S.S.

answers from Reading on

Hi M.! I wouldn't mind communicating with you! I am a mostly stay at home mom with a four year old daughter. I work every weekend while my husband works during the week. Marriage can be lonely, so I understand. Perhaps we can bring some light into each other's day! Feel free to e-mail me at [email protected]____.com. (That is zero 2)Hope to hear from you soon!

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B.F.

answers from Scranton on

Hi M.,

I am a stay at home mom as well and am pretty resticted with what I can do with my daughter during the day. My husband and I only have on car and he works full time days. The only way my daughter and I can go and do anything while we are at home is to walk. We have a small park a few blocks from our house which we walk to a few times a week but other than that we are home. I am looking for another mom/friend to talk to as well. Feel free to e-mail whenever you have time at [email protected]____.com to here on mamasource.

B.

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A.F.

answers from York on

I belong to a website for local moms - www.yorkadamsmommies.com/forum where we all get to talk all the time. You can host playgroups at your house and everyone will come to you. If you live near one of us we carpool frequently so you guys can come to other things if you want to.

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C.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.!

Sorry to hear that you're having a rough time. Sounds lonely. Are there any Mom's groups in your town nearby? I am frequently suggesting www.Meetup.com --You can find bookclubs, playgroups, anything that may interest you there in your area...I don't know how difficult the driving may be for you. Email me via mamasource and I'd be happy to help figure out more solutions. I'm even thinking that contacting a lifecoach may help you go in the right direction. Sounds like you and your sweet son could use some fun times out and about! Take care, C.

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K.K.

answers from Erie on

Would you consider finding a mother's helper? Basically a young child from the neighorhood, maybe 8 years old or so that would come over to your house afterschool to play with your son while you are there. That gets him used to other people, eventually gives you a little bit of a break while they play, and might even form a friendship with the mother's helpers family. You might need to pay them a bit or work out some sort of volunteer schedule.

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V.A.

answers from Scranton on

Hi M.,What a tough situation! When my kids were babies, I lived very far from home (about 6 hours away, by car), and my husband worked nights, and played days. We lived way out in the country, so I was pretty isolated with my 2 babies. I was finally able to connect with a church, and some ladies started to drop by, and I ended up running a daycare in my home!
Maybe you could contact a church of your choice and see if they have a system in place to get you out, pick you up, take you to social things at the church, services, etc. This way you and your little one could make some new friends.
You can email me anytime, I will try to respond quickly.

B.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.! It sounds like you have your hands full and are a bit lonely. You can email me anytime!

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M.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.! My email is [email protected]____.com, feel free to send me an email anytime! Also, Facebook is a great suggestion and a good way to keep in touch with people!
Don't feel bad if on occasion you ask someone to take you and your son somewhere, that's what friends and family are for! :)
tell hubby to get his thumb out of his butt and start paying attention!! I mean that in the most positive way possible of course, but tell him anyway!! :)
I hope things start looking better for you, the weather is getting nicer and it's time to GO OUT!!! Good luck and keep in touch!
PS- where do you live and how old is your son?

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J.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hello,
I am not your age , but would be very happy to talk with you if you so desire. I am retired. My husband and I decided to buy another home, but I missing the "true " fried contact too. I definitely get out and have people who may eventually fall into the friend list, but friendship must be two ways. I do hope you will write back. How old is your child? There are times when young children bond to particular people. It is not a lasting situation as long as they see the others often. Stay strong and positive.
God bless you and your family.
Cherry

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D.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.,

I don't know where you live but there are a lot of mom clubs in areas and some set up playgroups which you could have at your house sometimes. Also how old is your child? I live in West Chester email me anytime.
[email protected]____.com

Dottie

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B.F.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hi M.,

My name is B.. I can imagine how hard it is to be at home all of the time. I have a son also. He is 2 and Very Very Active to say the least. How old is your son? Do you live in the pittsburgh area? Its hard to find friends. If you would like you can email me. I would love to talk to you. My email is [email protected]____.com. I hope to hear from you. Have a wonderful day.

B.

A little about me: Part time working mom of a VERY Active little boy he is the light of my life.

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L.H.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Sorry to hear about your troubles. I have been in similar situations. When I was pregnant with my first child, we had just moved to a new town, I had no friends and no car. It was miserable. We have moved several times and I have been in the same situation with husband at work and me at home with very young children and not knowing anyone.

You have received some good suggestions. Have you looked into support groups, mother's groups, churches in your area? There are a lot of people out there that would not feel it a burden to help you out.

About your son. You don't mention how old he is. If he will be of school age soon, you really need to get him adjusted to being away from you. Have you tried having his grandmother come over and visit you at your house and play with him? After he feels comfortable, with that, maybe she could take him somewhere like a park or playland. Ease him into it. Maybe children are attached to their moms and that's not necessarily a bad thing when they are little, but can be when they get older.

Feel free to send me a private note.

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B.W.

answers from Erie on

I have a very simple and very stupid activity for you to do when no one is looking. Sit on the side of your bed, and throw yourself backwards three times each day. It really helps that no one is looking, because it's a silly thing to do, but it might work. My Mom had Minere's syndrome in her 70's, and was getting no answers or solutions. It was so bad she would get nauseus and there were days when she couldn't get out of bed.

She told a friend and the friend told her to do what I just told you to do. She's now 85 and I haven't heard a complaint about dizziness or nauseau for 10 years. (When you toss yourself backwards onto your bed, and land, it jars the inner ear fluids, and helps them to move around -- which helps with the dizziness) It's also a great time to bust out laughing, cuz you feel so silly doing it !!

I don't know how old your son is, but he at some point is going to need to learn that Mommy isn't always going to be there. He needs to learn that it's okay to be at Grandma and Grandpa's house and to have fun with them. It is good for them, too, to forge a positive relationship with their grandson. How is he going to go to kindergarten if he never lets Mom out of his sight ? Being there 24/7 for him is not a good thing. Does he spend time with his dad? Like on weekends and stuff?

I think it's hard to make friends when you are home all the time with your child/children. I worked most of my married life, and when I quit and stayed home, I began to hide from people because I no longer saw myself as interesting. . . I had very little to say to people because I wasn't doing interesting things. It's important for you to have a few hobbies. If you like flowers, do some gardening in the summer, come up with an enjoyable winter hobby, too -- and then you'll have something to share with people. While you don't want to "impose" on people, you can befriend them, and do fun things together.

I have a friend who's a single mom. She's younger than I and much more active socially, and our kids are close in ages -- so when she has a scheduling conflict, her kids come to our house. Do I mind? Is it an imposition? NO, it's usually fun. And it's a way I can be of assistance to her, and build the bond that also allows her to do things for me.

If you can go for walks with your son on the good days, then maybe you will also meet some face to face friends and begin to build some relationships that will help you and relationships in which you can help others. The internet is fine, but it isn't the same as having a face to face friend.

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M.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.,
First off I love your name, I met a girl years ago in Costa Rica and her name was M., is that you?

I don't know what Menieres disease is but have you heard of Reiki? you can look it up on-line its a gentle hands on healing to help get you spiritually, mentally and physically all in tune so to speak. I can talk with you more about it if you want.

You and your son have to get out of the house, I am a stay at home mom and I know it can drive you crazy not to go out and just talk to someone :). You made a big huge step by writing in, we are all here for you, thank you for thinking of yourself and son. Hugs, M.

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L.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

Hi M.

I will be your friend. You can talk to me anytime.

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