Missing My Kitty!

Updated on May 29, 2015
M.C. asks from Chicago, IL
13 answers

I had to put my sweet kitty down yesterday and I'm just so sad. She had failing kidneys and was older. I had hoped for more time with her. I am just torturing myself, wondering if I did the right thing, and feel guilty. We tried what we could and so did the vet. I did not want to see her suffer, so we decided to let her go before she got really bad. She was a really good kitty and I miss her so much! I just hope I did the right thing and didn't let her go too soon. She was sleeping most of the time and had many accidents on the carpet in the basement, and then started having some upstairs too. She still enjoyed sitting in the window, snuggling with us, and little treats. She was definitely loved and spoiled. My husband and I stayed with her while she was put to sleep and she went quickly and quietly. Just feeling really bad! For those of you who lost a pet before you were ready, what helped you get through it?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank you, everyone, for the kind words. It's comforting to hear from others who can relate. I'm glad my kitty is at peace now, but I know it will take a while for me to feel better. She was such a good kitty and her absence has left a big hole in our family and we have heavy hearts. Thanks again to all for helping me cope with this loss!

More Answers



answers from Washington DC on

I'm sorry for your loss!

We had to let go of a cat last summer who was just the best cat ever. If she was suffering, then you did the right thing. You gave her the gift of being pain free. Don't second guess yourself. If your vet didn't agree with you, he or she wouldn't have done it.

What you do? You cry. You take the time you need. You remember the good times. You move on. In our case, in a few months I was ready to give another cat a good home. IF you want another cat, then that may be a way to heal as well. Not as a replacement, of course. What we did when we were ready was contact a few rescues and told them about our home and got matched with a cat that would fit in. I'll always miss our other cat, but I feel good about rescuing the new one, too.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I'm so so sorry for your loss. Yes, you did the right thing. Even though she had some capacity to enjoy life sitting in the window or snuggling, I think the loss of bladder control actually upsets them terribly. My dog (nearly 14) lost control over the last week of her lief, and it was so obvious that she just knew her time was up. I was ready to carry her outside, and set her down just to put on my shoes. Her bladder let go, and she was so upset - I could see it on her face. I took her outside anyway, but she just stood there looking at me. I even said out loud, "You're done with living, aren't you?" I know in my heart that she was ready to die.

I'm sure your kitty was even more fastidious than my dog (or most dogs in general). They groom themselves, they cover up things in the litter box. I'm sure her uncooperative body was distressing her a lot. You helped her to live for many years, and when the time came, you did the brave thing. You helped her to die. She needed you to make this decision because she could not do it alone. This was not hard for her - she was loved and comforted to the end. It's hard for you, I know. You weren't really ready. You never would be ready though, would you? But I'm sure your kitty was. She could feel it inside, feel her body failing. Animals deal with death better than humans most of the time.

What helps me is having a good messy cry whenever I need to. I just let myself feel the pain, but I keep it about sadness and I don't mix that up with guilt. I think the guilt makes you think there's some way she could still be alive. But that's for you - not for her. Does that make sense? The only way to minimize your pain would be to extend hers.

We made a garden stepping stone from a kit from the craft store. Neighbors of ours did the same thing. We each put it at the edge of the yard over our pets' grave or buried ashes. Another neighbor planted a tree. We made a contribution to an animal shelter. We read "The Rainbow Bridge" and cried our eyes out.

You heal, in time. There's no schedule for this so don't rush yourself or think there's anything wrong with you if you have days when you cry a lot, or a day when you forget to think of her for a while. It's all okay.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Anchorage on

I am sorry for your loss.

When I had to have my Billy put down he was only 4 but went into full kidney failure. He could not even stand and his body temp got so low, there was nothing we could do for him but end his suffering. I cried so hard, but I knew it had to be done. I had to give my self several months before we even considered getting another kitty, but it was never the same after because it just wasn't Billy.

Just mourn him and remember all the love you shared.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I am so sorry. I have been in your position 3 times with our dogs.

It's not easy, it's takes time. Don't let anyone make you feel shame or bad for grieving for your kitty.

It is hard. Our first Cocker had to be out down at 12.5 with cancer, 2nd at 14 with old age and coughing... He had back surgery twice which was very pricey but we gave him a good life, #3 suddenly was paralyzed overnight and this was unexpected. He too had a wonderful life which ended atound 14.5.

Each of our dogs have had a great life and we know we give them that. We made that commitment from day one. They are a huge part of our family.

When each dog passed we grieved ( we still do) and it is ok. We knew from each dog each time that it was time. We hated to go through it but we knew we were ending their pain and I can't explain but the last look into their eyes were like a thank you because we were there through it all. I felt better being there with them and with the favorite blanket with them having me and hubby talking to them rather than dropping them off. It was harder our way but better for us all.

There is nothing wrong with you missing your kitty. Time will heal some of your grief but remember the special times you had.

There is a special poem about the Rainbow Bridge you need to read. It hurts but it helps you understand.

Each of our dogs were cremated and are all back with us and in special cedar boxes with their engraved names and on my mantle with their photos because they have a special place in our hearts forever.

I am so sorry for your loss because I know the hurt . Pm me if you would Iike.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

Two Mother's Days ago, the day after our wedding ceremony, I had to put down by best feline friend of 11 years. It truly broke my heart, and I still miss him very much.

You did the right thing. You loved her, took good care of her, and gave her a beautiful life and a pain free death. She loved you and will be waiting for you on the other side. Grieve her loss as much as you need to, because that grief is real and valid. Pets are family, and she was a little furry family member.

I'm so sorry for your loss. ♥

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Please know you did the right thing. It's terrible to let a pet suffer. Please don't beat yourself up here.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Asheville on

I'm so sorry. Try not to doubt your decision- you did the right thing. I lost my most beloved kitty a few years ago. I miss him very much. He was older (14) and his health failed gradually over a long period of time. We did everything we could, even sought a second opinion. Honestly, my only regret was that I let him go on as long as I did. It's a hard decision, but like my mom told me about my cat, sometimes the most loving thing you can do for them is to make the decision to let them go.
It was especially difficult because we had another cat and the two were bosom buddies. My other cat cried and wailed for a couple of weeks, and I cried and cried. But as time we on, we all adjusted. It just takes time.
My vet was awesome and let us bring him home to bury (we live a rural area). The kids drew on a large rock by his grave, and I keep flowers planted there along with a little garden statue of St. Francis (patron saint of animals). I still keep a picture of him on the fridge. I think it helped me to memorialize him in these little ways, so maybe you could do a little something like plant a perennial so that when it comes back every year, you think of your cat. Or put up a picture of your cat somewhere meaningful to you. Take care, and again, I'm sorry for your loss.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

We lost our dog after only 4.5 years of having her. After coming home from work on a Friday evening noticing she was not feeling well we took her took the vet. We left her for observation and testing then at about 2:00am Saturday received the call that her health was declining fast and given about 12 hours to live all her systems were failing. I cried so hard that I could not finish the conversation on the phone with the vet, my husband had to take over. We chose to not let her suffer the remaining time she had and it was by far one of the hardest things to do. We discovered she had very bad twisted intestines. There is nothing but time that heals the pain and we live with the wonderful memories we have of her. Like many others it took a while before I could talk about her and not cry but that is part of the process of getting over the pain. Very sorry for your loss but know that the pain does go away.
P.S. I can now laugh at how I thought I could call my parents while out running errands to give them the bad news but I broke down in the store to the point people were coming up to me and asking if I was ok.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I'm so sorry. It's so hard. You most likely are feeling the sadness of the loss and the shock and stress of having to make that tough decision.

I doubt it ever feels right and it always feels too early, but you sound like you did the kindest thing possible. She felt loved and safe and at peace when she passed, which is the most loving thing you could have done.

My cat had failing kidneys. By the time we'd reached the point yours had, we made the same decision. Our vet is also a good friend of ours, and he was very honest with us. Cats do not like to mess and they will get distressed once it gets really bad. Not the odd mishap of course or what you describe - because we all have to get to the point where it is bad enough for us to make that decision - but beyond that, and it's not fair on the pet. So know you did the right thing. That's where we were at also.

Once you're over the guilt/shock of making the decision (that torture we all put ourselves through) we just grieve. And a kitty is a big loss - mine was my first baby of sorts and I was surprised at what a boo hooing mess I was - but I just let it out. I cried the first few days, and over time, it got easier. Then one day I was shocked we were all laughing at something that reminded us of her, and now we just have fond memories - the sadness isn't there any more. We made her a special garden - the kids put in cat mint etc. and that's where she is.

Hugs to you

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Knowing that you did good by your loved pet should bring you peace. She was in pain and dying. What you did was save her from lingering pain and suffering. You did the best for her that you could.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

time is really the only thing that helps. allow yourself to grieve. DON'T second-guess yourself about your decision. almost all of us wait too long. our furbabies aren't in a position to make that decision, and don't understand long illness and suffering. we tend to tell ourselves stories about how we 'fought right alongside' them and how brave they (and we) were about it. but animals have only experienced illness and old age in the very, very recent past. for the eons of their evolution, the dudes higher up on the food chain put an end to their suffering long before we humans would consider it.
you did the right thing.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Amarillo on

My condolences to you.

It is not an easy answer. You love your fur baby just like any other member of your family and you hate to see them in pain or suffering. We all want them to stay forever but that is not possible. When the normal routines start to fail as yours did, it is/was time for decisions to be made that are best for the animal.

You did the right thing. It is hard to not have them around and there is an empty spot. Know that you had kitty's best interests at heart and you were both with her when she was put to sleep. She didn't go alone. You had closure.

I had one dog at the vet and I prayed the whole night a work for her to hang on until I got there in the morning but she couldn't make it. I still have a hole in my heart over her loss. She was "the two kids" I never had and was spoiled rotten with love. My other pet was my daughters and had a back issue. A surgery could be performed but not guarantee that it would fix the issue and the cost. We both stayed with the dog and said our goodbyes and got closure.

Their memory lives on in your heart and you will find peace. They have crossed the rainbow bridge and are happy and cured and waiting for you.

My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

the other S.

PS My puppies' ashes are on a shelf in my sewing room with a flower and pictures. So they are always with me in mind and in spirit. Love to you.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kalamazoo on

You did the right thing. Feel peace in that.
maybe honor her memories by rescuing a new kitty who doesn't have a home. :) NOT a replacement obviously, but there's tons out there that need homes and it'll give you some smiles.

1 mom found this helpful
For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions