Minor Wedding Freak Out... Have We Hit a Dead End Here?!

Just do 2 ceremonies then....do the JP one for the state and still have your BFF perform the ceremony you both had dreamed of....it happens all the time and no one needs to know which went first. And everyone is happy.

P.S. - my dad has performed many, many weddings for people, b/c he's a salesman and quite verbally gifted and people love his wedding sermons. He does not have any legal license for this act. The couples still have to get the legal marriage paperwork done on their own.

My brother did an on-line class and was able to marry his friends that next day. LOL We however live in a different state so I'm not sure if that is possible in your state or not. Let him marry you then just go to the courthouse right before and make it legal. You don't have to tell anyone you went to the courthouse if you don't want to.

You could get married by a judge and then "renew" your vows as planned and truly no one (except us and your immediate family) would be the wiser.

OR... you could find a Notary (also able to marry people) and have your BFF co-officiate with the Notary. My BFF was "married" by my father and a judge last fall. It was really beautiful and my father did the majority of the ceremony with the judge observing and signing-off on the the license.

Just FYI...I think that "30 day rule" has to do with the validity of YOUR marriage license, not the person officiating. Considering how much you have to do, I would not spend too much time at the courthouse tomorrow b/c it won't change the outcome and the person with whom you originally spoke may have genuinely misunderstood your question.

When my DH and I were getting married it was not my first and I didn't want a big giant to-do. When we went to town hall to ask about the information needed for a marriage licence they were actually able to provide us with names of people who were able to perform the ceremony. The one we selected was a retired judge who lived in town. We actually got married at his house - he has a lovely garden room with a painted armoire that we stood in front of - our pictures were actually very nice. My brother and good friend came along to be our witnesses.

Years later my sister used the same judge for her wedding - and he came to the small catering facility / restaurant and they got married at the end of the dock. Her neighbors had the same judge marry them a couple of years after that - he came to their home and performed the ceremony in their gorgeous backyard - and the caterers had a lovely brunch in their garden following.

So please don't panic! There are options. Call your town hall and see if they have a list of people - google judge, jsutice of the peace, etc. ask around - you'd be surprised.

Now - almost 16 years later, we wish we had gotten married in a church - so perhaps we'll do a vow-renewal at some point in the future at a church.

Best of luck!

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Who did you speak with? Call your courthouse and ask them exactly what is needed to be married by this "friend"..

Then ask them how to hire a Judge to go to your ceremony and perform the ceremony and what sort of paperwork is needed.

Or call the courthouse and ask if they have this info online..

It should not be that big of a deal. I have never heard of it taking more than, maybe 2 weeks to get the paper work necessary,... IF the "Officiant" is legal in that state..

I do special events with lots of wedding. One "wedding" was for a couple who had lived together for about 6 years. They did not have an "Official" Officiant.. they just had a friend perform the "ceremony" and then had a fun reception. THEY called it a wedding..

I thought there was some quickie certificate to marry people you could get online? Maybe try to google it. Or yes, I would just get married at the courthouse and then have the BFF "marry" you as planned. Good luck!!!

I like the idea of getting married at the courthouse but then keeping your original plans for your weddiing day.
No one will know that you already made it official. I wouldn't even tell anyone.

I think it's pretty fast to get married with a courthouse. When my MIL got married to her husband, they got married at the courthouse first. It seemed to be on a whim, so it must have been something they could do fairly quickly. They didn't invite anyone to that. Then they later had a ceremony as though they were getting married (even though they already were) and it was beautiful for them and they loved it. Definitely an option. I'd find out how long it takes in your state to get married in a courthouse and what you need to do. then go do that and then have your wedding like planned.

I would find a justice of the peace - you can call the courthouse and they have lists (I think there is a website). Call around and find someone you like - explain your situation and ask them how much of the ceremony they actually have to perform in order to sign off on your marriage certificate. Have them do just that much and have your friend perform the rest of the ceremony. Plenty of people have more than 1 officiant at their wedding!

You need to apply for your license. Once you have that you can married 48 hours after up to 30 or 60 days. (In TX it's 3 days after you apply up to 60 days.) A courthouse "ceremony" only takes about 10 or so minutes.

I say do the courthouse marriage the morning of with two friends who are going to be in the wedding (because you still need witnesses) then do your ceremony with the dress and tuxes and whatever else you have planned.

I don't know what state you're in, but If your BFF is legally permitted to preform marriages you can get your marriage liscense, then (in Texas it is 48 or 72 hours) wait the aloted time and have a few witnesses and you bff sign the certificate. *poof you're married! You take the signed documentation and file it within the alotted period and then you are legaly married. Once that is accomplished, plan your wedding for when ever you need to in order to accomodate the issues you are having.
This is what my husband and I did because my ex kidnapped my son and I was not going to have a wedding unless my son walked me down the aisle. I wanted my mariage liscense to reflect the priest that married us and not the JP, so he aggreed to sign ot so that I could go to court and plea for the return of my son as a married woman. I did get my son back and had my wedding! That was 20 years ago, and we still joke about getting married twice. :)

I say do the courthouse thing and go ahead with everything else as planned. We did the courthouse tihng and we applied on Monday and were eligible within 48 hours. So it takes no time at all. That's MD, but still...it is probably standard. And I'd raise holy hell to the people who screwed this up!

Are you talking about the process of becoming a Notary Public? In some states, a Notary is authorized to perform marriages. If that is NOT what you were doing, then maybe check into that. It might be a way he could marry you.

In Fl you only can get the license up to 72 hours before hand. My aunt married my husband and i, she's a notary or something like that. it didn't cost us anything and it didn't take a process. we went down and filled out the paperwork. after my aunt married us, she turned in the papers, and then they sent us the marriage certificate. we did all work at the courthouse though, but i would assume that it's standard practice.

My friends were planning a wedding when he got called up (he's Coast Guard Reserves). They decided to do the legal thing so that she would be next of kin while he was serving...went to courthouse, signed the papers, no ceremony at all, just signatures on a piece of paper. They didn't tell anyone at all other than his mother (just in case, she knew that she wasn't next of kin) and she kept it like a state secret.

I found out after their wedding since I was expecting to be a witness to their marriage certificate (maid of honor). There wasn't a marriage certificate for me to sign. The Catholic priest had kept his knowledge secret as well....

You need to find out VA laws. Then, I agree with ML B. Don't tell anyone, just do what you had planned originally. Congratulations on your wedding!

Does your state allow you to hire a marriage commisioner or JP tp come to your location? Thats what we're doing, we were given a list of commissioners in our area, and you just call & see who's available. Its $75-100. We got the list when we got our licence, but its online too... I hope you find someone!!!!!!