MIL Is a Manipulator

If you constantly give in, she knows that all she has to do is badger you and you'll eventually give in. Next time say "I said no once, that's my final answer. If you insist on bringing the subject up again I will hang up the phone or immediately leave the situation. DH and I really appreciate your input and your help, concern, etc, but these are our children and we will raise them the way we see fit." And then drop it. If she brings it up again, leave, hang up the phone, etc. You can also stress that you need to consult your husband before you make any decisions regarding your children. If the answer is no, make sure that your husband is behind you 100% on this decision. Phrase your answer as "WE feel...." and give her reasons. "We don't want the kids going to the park today because it's just too windy." Or something like that. Waiting for your husband to deal with the situation, while ideal, is also very unlikely. Be firm, but gentle. Don't raise your voice or anything. If you need to, make sure your husband is home when to you speak to his mother. Good Luck!

I have the same problem and it's taken me three years to finally learn to speak up and just say NO or It's not your business. I was always so worried about hurting her feelings, but I came to realize that she's the type of person where her feelings will be hurt no matter what I say or do. So I just say and do what's best for my family whether she likes it or not. She still tries to manipulate and be sneaky and it's enough to drive us crazy, but I can't stop her from being like that. I can stop the response she's looking for though and when she throws her tantrums I go into ignore mode. You don't have to explain yourself and giving in is only going to make her worse. Hang in there!

Been there! I finally told my husband we needed to sit down and have as talk, "Momma chick" needed to understand that we were one family and although she was a part of it, was also another seperate household. We explained that we made decisions for our family and she needed to respect them......sad to say there is still a slip up on her part every few months...
My husband is also the oldest of 10 so there are stil young ones in her house..like as in the same age as our son...hahaha but she started using them to call us to guilt us into it.....that DID NOT go over well......I guess after this rambling, just put your foot down, but come up with a nice gentle approach with your husband.
Good luck!!
Lea

My MIL is somewhat the same. Both came out for our son's b-day late Feb. & we made the mistake of letting her go to pick up our son from school, with my DH. Our son, Ben, has a slight learning diability, and instead of asking us any questions, she has to literally grill the teacher on his care. She lives in IL. They also then went to lunch and Ben didn't want to eat. No lunch, no dessert. Well, dearest mommy actually insinuated that anything we say goes in one ear and out the other and gave Ben some dessert. She has also talked about my DH "brainwashing" our daughter because she likes everything that her big brother does. She plays with cars. My point, is that we too have issues. Since this was so recent, DH hasn't even talked to his mom & tells me that if she calls, I should talk to her. I say, the only way things are going to change if for the birth child to talk to the parent. Your husband needs to talk to his mother. You need to stand up to her when she talks to you directly, but the bulk of the talk needs to come from him. Trust me, I know that this is much easier said than done, but from personal experience, this will probably only get worse if it is not stopped now. My MIL has just gradually gotten worse in her attitude. Especially since we've had kids. She had an opinion on all of it, especially the things that we should be doing for Ben. We have even gone so far as to decide that unless she changes her behavior, we don't want our kids exposed to that. Which, I do think is sad. Kids need their grandparents.
Hang in there & yes, stand up to her & don't cave. Good luck.