I am have some difficulties with my middle child. He seems to be more defiant he just doesn't seem to remember that some things are not allowed. I have told him a million times not to play with my shampoo when he takes a bath and yet he get in and my soap is toast I have tried taking it out and of the bath tub and he will get soap out of the sink. And that is just one experience. He took a knife out side and stabbed are trampoline. And he knows that he is not allowed to play with knives. When we tell him to go to his room he will tell us NO. He wants things his way and right away. We have tried time outs, time in the corners, taking things away, and even spankings from time to time. But nothing seems to get through to him. I feel lost when it comes to him. I keep praying that it is some kind of faze he will grow out of. I know kids test but my first didn't give us such a fight all the time. Is this a middle child thing? Any help or incite would be so appreciated.
I want to say thanks to all of you. We have been doing alot better we have been makeing more points to say way to go on the good choices that are made. thanks again
It does sound somewhat like a middle child thing. Perhaps you could try to arrange some one-on-one time with him? My middle son is a bit like this and I just had to beg and plead and even hire sitters so I could take each of my kids out every now and then for some mommy time. This actually helped the behavioral issues a lot.
I have three children of my own and with this behavior I would think that attention is what your child is seeking. Good or bad attention is any attention for a child. One way to help so this won�t be so bad is to give a reward for any chores or help that is done or asked to be done. This could be with a sticker chart or an imitate reward could be a sticker from the sticker jar or a prize from the prize box. This way when he has done something that he�s not suppose to have done you can give that time out and have it be affect. The key to having this work is to be on top of it don't let your guard down. This will be a lot of work at first and maybe even three week down the line but let me tell you that is all worth it when your child becomes a little angel and your job as a mother feels so satisfying.
Remember to pick your battles. Us as mothers know how far we can be pushed and what we will tolerate from our children. To redirect a negative action often works well when my three year old is being mischievous but this doesn't always work and a time out does quit well. We also have a sticker chart that has little things like brush your teeth, pick up your dirty cloths and so forth. I hope I am able to help out and have a go at this it real does work!
G.
J.,
Have you really sat him down and talked with him? This might sound cheesy, but reassuring the love that you have for him and positively encouraging any good behavior (no matter how small.) Does he have plenty of other bath toys to keep him preoccupied? Or maybe even limit the time he spends in the bath. Being consistent is really important as well. Four is such a trying age. I went through something similiar with my son and year later is seems to have disappeared. So, don't give up!!
Sounds like he's acting out for attention. You have a tiny baby who requires more attention than the 6 & 4 year old. Maybe you can include the 4 year old in more things when you are with the little one. Spend more time with him yourself, or have your husband take the 6 & 4 guys out to do stuff. Park, hiking, etc.
I know when I had my babies it seemed like I saw an increase in my other childrens aggressive assertive behavior. So I took each one of them out on a "date night". We would pick a simple short activity of their choosing and spend time one on one. It worked immediately! I really had a good time as well. I could enjoy them and not feel so task oriented. :O)
I just finished reading "The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are" by Dr. Kevin Lehman. It was very insightful regarding particular behaviors and psychology without being too academic. It may give you some ideas on how to best reach your middle child! Good Luck!
I have a 7 yr old boy and a 4 yr old boy, I don't think your problem is a middle child thing, I think it's a 4 yr old boy thing!!! My son has started the "No" thing, he dumps all the shampoo, and now is Lying about everything!! I dont remember my oldest being that way, but others tell me he was. I also have been thinking a lot of it is because they have an older brother that they are always trying to keep up with??? I have been freaking out about my 4 yr old for the last couple weeks too...
