Men Welcome Here ,Whats Changed !!

Updated on August 22, 2012
B.K. asks from Albany, CA
29 answers

Hi Mamas

Mollys question and a recent conversation with my friend 8kidsdad (private message) has reminded me of something.
Do you longtermers here remember when it was only 8kidsdad here and some women could not understand why a man was here.
There was numerous posts about men on the site and some answers not so kind.
Now it seems men are so welcome and their opinion respected here.

Whats happened?.
Are the haters gone? Have they given up and stay quite?

B. K

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Featured Answers

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Well I was PMing with one of the dads and apparently not all the haters are gone, they just don't want people to know they are haters so they keep it all private so they PM go away hate mail. :(

To me it matters not whether you are a mom or dad, only that you are trying to raise viable members of society. Anything to that end is fine with me. :)

16 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

We became the new Mr. Mom's. Several of us (hey Jim), are stay/work at home dads.

We do the laundry.
We know the kids routine and new invisible friend.
We can change a diaper faster than a speeding bullet.
We can leap short countertops in a single bound.

I get that it's "mama"pedia. Being the "mama" is my day job.

13 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

The site never excluded men.
Some women made some assumptions that were incorrect.

In one case where a post was reported for flaming (male bashing, basically), Mamapedia responded with:

"Mamapedia as a site is designed for moms, but is inclusive of non-moms (teachers, caregivers, involved dads) who express a strong desire to join.".

As the policy became more well known, there was nothing the nay sayers could do about it.
The same policy makes the handling of trolls a wee bit tricky.

If you absolutely NEED and MUST have an all girls club - sorry but this isn't the place for it.

11 moms found this helpful

More Answers

T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I like reading opinions from a dad's perspective.

Jo, I did not realize some of the men here were getting hate PM's.

Shame on whomever is doing that. It also says a lot about the men here when they don't post on the public forum about the haters and hate PM's they are getting. The men have class.

Sure wish some of the other members on here were that classy.

19 moms found this helpful
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K..

answers from Phoenix on

I'd rather have a nice man on here than one of the many dramatic women.

15 moms found this helpful

L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

As a single Mom, I really like reading a Dad's opinion on stuff.
I think our Mamapedia Dads Rock!

13 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I love having the dads on here. Sometimes I've read answers that help me understand my husband.

I think a lot has changed in the last five years in society...with dads staying home, working from home.

Sad that we still have haters...just sad!

11 moms found this helpful
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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I always like hearing the male perspective. Our men have been honest and polite. I'm glad they're here!

10 moms found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Alexandria on

Whatever changed, I'm glad it did.

I like to read a father's opinion on issues. I think more fathers should go the distance and pay more attention to their children.

9 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

B.:

There will always be haters. unfortunately.

I have NEVER minded dad's on this site. It's the TROLLS I have minded..

There has been MANY suggestions that the site name be changed to PARENTPEDIA because it's NOT just for mom's....

9 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Hmmmmm....I'm a long timer here and other than initial suspicion (men trawling for dates, etc.) I don't remember mamas hating on the men just because they're men....
I like to see dads ideas, thoughts and questions.
IMO, Power to the Parents! (all of them)

8 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

It doesn't matter to me - however, when I was a new mom (2006) none of them helped me with my breastfeeding questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 moms found this helpful
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C.Z.

answers from Omaha on

TF Plano/Allen- very true about our guys being classy. Whoot whoot to our guys here.

I have to say that one of our dads on here gave me excellent advice and now I try to stay a little connected with what he is doing. You never know the truth till you get the other side of it. Dads give us the other side of parenting. I love them being on here!

8 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

I'm on another site where men are banned as fast as they sign up. I also think mom sites started cause, let's face it, woman were the primary care giver.

Things have changed a lot through the years though and it is nice to get a mans perspective on things.

It's no sweat off my back.

7 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

I think it's nice to have a dad's perspective on here. It sheds new light and gives new angles to how we think about issues.

As far as I know there are no boards like this for dads - maybe blogs, but it's not the same thing at all. If a dad want's help, he should be able to ask for it.

People need to be the change they want to see in the world - and if women want men to be more involved parents, then they need to get off their backs when they try to by asking for help in a forum that's FULL of moms to get help from.

The haters need to get over themselves. Isn't it just like those BULLIES to hide behind anonymity? And I'm sure they get their nickers in a twist if someone isn't nice to their "precious little snowflake", or their kids are NEVER the mean ones - yeah right.

ADD: I kinda get the thing with being "more comfortable" with all women, but really - it's anonymous. Even if a father/man is on here, it's not like you know they're reading your question. I can't really see it as the same as going an all girls or all guys thing. I don't even think about the fathers/men when I ask a question, even a female issue thing. I just put TMI and if they want to hear about "female bits" and stuff, they can read further and torture themselves LOL - or MAYBE they'll learn something from it?

7 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't know. I guess it was before my time? I've been here since it was Mamasource.... but I don't remember anybody hating on the men. Maybe it was thru PMs and I was unaware of it, though... ?

I think it is kinda nice, to get a little bit of a different perspective. Especially when we are asking about this or that for our sons...

7 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

I hope the haters stay quiet. It takes two to make a baby and raise it up! And how great to get the opinions from both genders. Dads do have a different style with kids, sometimes, and it's to everyone's advantage that we get the best insights and perspectives from both mothers and fathers. We sure have a lot to learn from each other. :)

@ JustM: I agree about the lady-parts questions, however...I'm not thrilled to read some of those questions either, ha ha. And how many women delivered with a male OB? They know all about those lady parts!

6 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from Chicago on

I couldn't care less what sex everybody is on here. I either like their answers or I don't. I either learn from them or I don't.

We don't even know for sure that the women on here aren't really men.

6 moms found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from New York on

i like men, and their opinion, as long as their posts don't creep me out, i am good with their presence.
i don't remember any haters towards men posting on this site, but maybe i missed it? well, not that it matters. so yay. they can stay :)

6 moms found this helpful
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C.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Maybe the haters have educated themselves and realized that parenting is Mom's AND Dad's job. I understand that women like to have inner circles with no men, I love my girl time, but when it comes to parenting I think we need to hear from both Moms and Dads. This site could even be called ParentPedia.

6 moms found this helpful

M..

answers from Detroit on

Ill have to admit, I was creeped at first, you know the kinds of questions I ask. :/

But they have proved to be helpful! I guess they can stay. ;)

6 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

I think the answer is two-fold: yes, the haters seem to be gone (for the most part) & I just simply think the men currently on Mamapedia fit this forum & its format well. They are a welcome addition. :)

6 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

i think some moms are still old fashioned and don't like talking about their "lady parts" (haha never said it like that before) with guys reading. Who knows why though...I mean it's on the internet for everyone to google. Anyway I think those the appreiciate the alternative view outnumber the crazies=)

4 moms found this helpful

N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I think the more vocal haters just took it to PM's because they don't want to be judged for their opinions. I find that pretty funny myself because I've always felt more judged by women then I've ever felt by men. Probably because of the parents I grew up with. My mother was always finding fault with how I dressed myself, how I looked, was overly concerned with how I appeared to others. My little sister used to call me disparaging names and picked me apart mercilessly. My father was just happy when I was happy. Nit-picky mothers along with sisters who point out every flaw of your appearance by calling you derogatory names, tend to produce girls who shy away from other women.

I've never been able to make girlfriends easily. I always feel their eyes boring into my soul, judging me. Men, when they smile at me, it feels like they are just genuinely happy to see me but the women, I always get a fakey fake vibe. Like their mouth is saying, "I'm so happy to see you!" But in my head I hear the voices of the prominent women in my life judging me. Though, intellectually I understand that women are probably not thinking anything of the sort, emotionally I shrink away.

So, I've always welcomed the opinion of men when it comes to child care, and everything else in my life. The men in my life have always been a positive influence. I understand it's naive of me to think that all men are like that, but I easily give them the benefit of the doubt due to my own personal history.

3 moms found this helpful
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L.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think that there are times when women just want to be with women, no hate intended. Sometimes I just want to go out with the girls and talk girl stuff. I think that's where the "haters" come from. They saw this site as a place for women to openly talk because some people grew up being very open, some people grew up unable to truly open up when men are around. It's not your fault but it's not also their fault.

For example, I take a burlesque class and I love that men are not there. You feel comfortable and can open up more. I love my body more so now and can therefore be more confident. Legally, I'm sure if a man wanted to join, he'd be allowed to but in a sense by wanting to use his right to fairness, he takes away a level of comfort that he wants to force on us.

As a counter example, I don't believe a woman should be in the Boy Scouts. You can claim fairness all you want but there is something about the special bond dad is going to have with their sons if mom was not there.

I know that people want to "get with the times" but sometimes you can't change the dynamics of how men and women behave around each other. So, I actually don't mind in this group that men are here since the dynamics of family has changed but, for some women, it will take away a sense of openness and comfort and if "non-haters" are not willing to realize that then you are exercising a different kind of hate.

3 moms found this helpful

N.G.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with Molly. I was creeped out at first as well. Over time I've gotten used to it and eve appreciate their perspective. Most of the time. I could do without the references to Dr. Laura. I despise her. :)

3 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from San Francisco on

I'm a semi longtimer here .I've asked persona and embarrassing questions in the past knowing that this is a website just for women and I've had some wonderful supporting answers from lots of women that made me feel a lot more comfortable about what was going on with me. I don't think I would have asked those questions if I thought that men were reading them also . I'm not a hater of anyone but I wouldn't feel so comfortable to ask those personal questions anymore.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.F.

answers from San Francisco on

I remember and I am so glad that there are more men on the board. It is so awesome to get men's feedback on things as well. I have never been a believer in excluding anyone. So I think some of the haters left and some have maybe learned to shut up. Either way, men are welcome here in my book--especially good upstanding men who are doing good for the world :)

1 mom found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I've always liked men on here.

ROFL... And there have always been some who just changed their names to LOOK like Lucy instead of Luke, and would say my spouse/partner/etc. ((I've periodically joked that I'm a 12yo boy with a wicked imagination... And yes. Have occasionally been taken seriously!) But really, it's the INTERNET. Any of us could have our dangly bits up OR down!

It's easier now, though. Back in mamasource days the tag line was "For Moms, by moms". When it morphed into mamapedia, the line went away. I WAS one of those clamor ing for 'For parents, by parents' or 'Parentalpedia' or ParentSource, or whatever when they announced either an Wikipedia or Google platform buyout.

Half my friends are SAHDs, single dads (80/20-100%), gay dads, etc... And there just ISN'T a site for them / marketed towards them/ openly invitational.

So since this is 'my' site... I've always been 'C'mon down!'

1 mom found this helpful
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