Mean 11 Month Old! Help!

I think this is actually normal . I have friends who stay home and with their kids all day and the behavior was similar. It is hard for her to probably not have you around in the day. I can certainly imagain the sadness you feel and wishing that she will respond to you in a nicer way, but she is only 11 months old. She probably just needing some special attention and little ones tend to learn the wrong way to get that attention and when they get older, it is hard to break. I say it is a faze...... hang in there.

Um, I would go back to a firm a "NO" and stilling her hands when she tries to slap you. As for biting, I would make it clear that that is not acceptable. You really need to break the biting habit.

I am all for babies expressing themselves but when they are lashing out and hurting you and others then it is time to be firm in your correction. Trust me, you cannot overuse the word "NO".

Temper tantrums - My son went through this phase - I began leaving the room when he threw himself on the floor. I just went around the corner out of his sight. When he realized he was not getting any attention from me he stopped this type of tantrum. If you can't bring yourself to leave the room try to gather her up in your arms and gently restrain her arms and legs. Explain that she cannot continue to bang her head on the floor as she will hurt herself.

Most importantly you need to deal with your feelings of guilt. If you are in school or working to provide for her, of course you cannot be with her during the day. There is nothing to feel guilty about - you are doing what you have to do to provide for her - so everything you do during the day is about her anyway.

Children can pick up on our feelings and if you are coming home feeling guilty you are more likely to let her get away with inappropriate behavior - she knows this and pushes her boundaries. She is not mad at you - just testing her boundaries. You are the parent so it is up to you set her boundaries and teach her appropriate behavior.

a mean baby? I dont think so! I think its just her temperment while teething, or maybe she is also tired. My baby slaps, bites and pulls hair but it isnt with intent to hurt me, its a way of interacting- I respond with a yelp, she laughs.

She is testing you to see just what she can get away with. You are handling the situation with age appropriate techniques! Good Job!

Let her throw the fits. DO nothing. Let her know that she can't get her way that way. Talk with her caregivers and work with them on consistent discipline. That way, she is always getting the same message.

It is VERY common to bite at this age. There is not much you can do about it, except catch her in the act and stop her before it happens. This is one of their only ways of communicating frustration. As is hitting. She is most likely picking it up during the day at the sitters or daycare :(

Good Luck!

It would be very rare for your daughter to have learned to be mean by 11 months. She is not doing this to hurt your feelings. She is expressing her needs in a negative way in a cycle that needs to be broken. First step is to stop thinking of her as being mean. Think of her as trying to tell you something and not knowing how.

Do you have definite boundaries for her? What do you do when she slaps or bites you? Do you calmly tell her "no biting," no slapping" and distract her by giving her something else or by dealing directly with what has caused her to hit or bite? Since slapping has become frequent, I suggest that you separate her from whatever is making her unhappy. Take her to another room, for example. Hold her hands so that she can't continue to slap you. Hold her mouth away from you. If you have to, put her down and walk away.

Temper tantrums, hitting head on floor. Go across the room and wait for her to stop. I found staying in the room, sitting on the floor near to my granddaughter helped. Once she stopped her kicking and screaming she would crawl over to me and I would hold her while she cried. If she will allow you, put a pillow under her head.

I suggest that she's aware of your guilt and uncertainty about leaving her. She's wanting more attention from you but perhaps you're coming across as too needy of her reassurance and she's overwhelmed. Perhaps you're trying to hard to make her happy. I suggest that when she rejects your attention that you just walk away. Be careful to not show your disappointment.

Because you're feeling guilty, perhaps you're hovering too closely and this is her way to get her own space. Have you had a relationship with a chld when you were a child or an adult that needed you too much? And perhaps this caused you to feel overwhelmed or crowded? I suggest this as a possibility. Getting a handle on your guilt feelings will help you parent much better.

She probably is mad at you for a variety of reasons. But trying to figure out why can be counter productive. For one thing it increases your feelings of guilt which hampers your ability to be less emotionally involved in her feelings. Her feelings are hers and yours yours. When you can deal with your feelings her feeling will seem less personal and you can be more active as compared to being reactive. I'm not saying this clearly, I know. I can't think of the right word to describe this look at boundaries.

Try coming home and not showing how excited you are to see her. Let her come to you. You cannot directly change her behavior but her behavior will change when you change yours.

At this age it's normal for some babies to get frustrated because of their inability to communicate their feelings. Some babies are hitters and biters. I think she is just trying to express herself and it's up to you to teach her a more healthy way to do that. You may want to try some baby sign language. Time outs in a high chair or crib (1 minute per year of life, so for her 1 minute) would not be unheard of especially if she is throwing a fit. You need to be firm and consistent now otherwise this behavior will spiral out of control when she is a toddler. (Believe me I am speaking from experience.

She may be a bit young but a great book that helped me a lot is Parenting the Strong willed Child, it worked wonders with my son when he was in Pre K. I doubt she is being slapped by anyone. As a former infant caregiver in a daycare environment I can assure you this behavior is fairly common. Redirecting is good, but you also have to address in a firm voice that the behavior is unacceptable, but at the same time you do not want to give her too much attention for the behavior because that is what will keep her doing it.

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Strong-Willed-Child-Rex-F...

Hang in there, I'm sure this is a phase!

She is too young to be mean.. This is normal behavior because she cannot talk and tell you what she is feeling. Imagine if you were in another country and could not get your feelings to be understood? Now imagine you are 1 years old? You would be frustrated too..

That does not mean she is allowed to bite, or to slap, pinch, kick and tantrums, it means you need to give her the words.

"You look frustrated because you cannot reach the glass."

"You seem angry because you have to sit in your high chair."

"I like when you sit in your high chair."

"I like your gentle touches."

"We do not hit, we use soft touches."

"No biting, but yes soft kisses."

You are going to say these things hundreds of times and she is going to understand. Make it part of your everyday conversation. Notice what she is doing and give her the words.

Notice what catches her attention and give her the name for the item. Remind her she can look with her eyes, but we do not touch everything..

You will need to find out what is allowed by the caregiver. If it works to get her way, she will continue no matter what you do. Other posters have given you great advice to redirect the way she expresses her frustrations, but you must meet with your caregiver so there is consistency.

Who takes care of her when you're not there?
Is she in a child-care situation
with too many kids and not enough adults?

Check into a Love and Logic program near you. Here's a link with some details and good luck!

http://blogs.goddardsystems.com/Cedar-Park-TX/2010/08/11/...

I would find out if she is getting slapped by caregiver and being treated mean thats the first step. Kids mimic our behavior most of the time.

I would be very concerned that she is learning this behavior from whomever she is being cared for or other babies she is around. I disagree with other posters. This is not normal bahavior for an 11 month old. I would take her to the pediatriciation.