Maybe a Silly Question?

Updated on May 11, 2008
C.M. asks from Myrtle Beach, SC
29 answers

Hi Ladies! This maybe stupid to some of you, BUT our daughter is learning her body parts and my husband and I arent quite sure what to tell her private area is? Do we tell her the real name of it? What do you all teach your daughters it is called? I think the word vagina is a bit old for a 17 mth old... any advice will be greatly appreciated!
Thanks in advance!

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R.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I taught my daughter to call it her secret. Now she is 4 and we have taught her vagina and she hd no problem with the word transition. Good luck.

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S.P.

answers from Macon on

It's not a silly question at all. I think if she's smart enough to recognize something is different then she'll be smart enough for an explanation. I'd tell her that boys and girls are just different and different so that beautiful girls like her can be born. I'd tell her that when she gets older she'll learn more about it but it's really hard to understand now so we'll save that for a while. I hope this helps.
S.

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

I personally think it is all about how you view the body part itself. If you view it as "dirty" or sexual in nature....you will probably feel uncomfortable teaching the word to your child. But if you view it as a body part...no different than an elbow, knee, or ankle, just simply as another body part, you will have no problems using and teaching the word vagina.

I teach my 2 year old daughter the correct word for all of her body parts. I just don't understand the need to make up a fake word for any part of her body. And in spite of what most might think (including my mother), it's not wierd at all. My 2 year old calls it her "Gina" and we don't giggle every time she says it. I really think that feeling wierd or naughty is brought on by those who are not comfortable with their own bodies.

I believe that what we teach our kids now about their body will stay with them for life. And making up a fake name for her very real body part, to me at least, says that we think it is something to be ashamed of and not talked about.

The word vagina is not a dirty word. I don't think of it any differently than the word elbow, or knee. I mean, how silly would we sound if we made up fake names for our elbows and knees??

1 mom found this helpful
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D.R.

answers from Columbus on

Hi! My husband and I were just discussing this yesterday. :) We have a 3 yr old little girl and she calls it her toot-toot. The reason for our conversation was bc we are due to have our son this Monday via C-section and I know she's going to ask. "Mommy, what is that"? So we are kind of in the same boat. I'm very interested to see what everyone else says. My husband says he would like to call it his pee-pee, but I think it would be even more confusing. I don't know... Good luck though. Oh and this is a very important ?, not a stupid one.

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T.C.

answers from Atlanta on

p****** p**** or privacy parts...

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E.K.

answers from Florence on

Personally, I think that using "fake" names is detrimental. This is just my opinion, please don't be offended. Using words like "hoo ha" and "pee pee" etc., make the real terms "scary" and make them think words like "vagina" dirty and wrong. I think that using the correct names of body parts...(do you you make up names for eyes, ears, legs and arms?) only makes them more taboo and gives children more room to be self conscious and embarrassed. Girls in particular have enough issues with self esteem in our culture, there is no reason to give them more. Please understand (again) that this is only my opinion, and I wish you the best of luck!

E.

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L.V.

answers from Augusta on

While I know that most other parents do not use correct terminology for anatomical parts, I was raised knowing the correct terms and have raised my daughter with the same knowledge. When she was little she would just say bottom, but we always made sure to use correct terminology when elaborating on to which part she was referring. I think how rigid you are with the language used should depend on your level of comfort and how outgoing and talkative your child is; i.e. If you are not comfortable having your toddler proclaiming information about her vagina while at the checkout counter, you may want to use something less conspicuous. However, please keep in mind that it is helpful to know the proper names for body parts as not everyone uses the same nickname and her doctor may not understand if her "tootie" or "hoo-hoo" is supposed to mean her vagina or her anus.

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J.J.

answers from Augusta on

I call it the pee pee. Yes, I know that it's associated with the boy most times but my daughter, who will be turning three in June, always heard me refer to my son's as a pee pee. He's five and a half. She assumes that's where her pee comes from so it must be a pee pee. Now, when my son asked my why his was different from hers... I told him that they were different and what the actual name was for a boys part and the girls part. I didn't act all freaked out or uneasy when I said it and he still calls it his pee pee. As long as it's not like cooter, LOL!!!! I think you'll be okay.

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L.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Cheryl,
We use vagina for my 2 year old and she has been saying it since she was about 15 months. Actually she says "fachina", but we get the point.

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D.M.

answers from Savannah on

We always called every body part by it's correct name. I think we make too much sometimes of calling things by their correct names. If you are uncomfortable at this time, just call the area her p****** p****. I do have a funny story... When our daughter was about 4 we were in line in a crowded sore and she said out loud, "mommy, my vagina itches"! It raised some eyebrows, but I did not react in shock. It got some giggles from some teens, but we lived for another day. BTW, she is now a well adjusted adult and still calls everything as she sees it, lol.

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T.L.

answers from Savannah on

I told my daughter it was her pee spot, where she goes pee. When she got older I used other words. She is ten now and she will privately tell me it hurts "down there" and points. I have told her other words including vagina but I think she is embarassed to say it so she justs whispers "down there". But "pee spot" worked until she was 5.

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C.D.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

Why not teach her both? I taught my daughter the proper name. She came up with the nickname "cookie" on her own. Although she has always had an accelerated vocabulary, I think she thought "vagina" was just sounded weird.

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J.

answers from Atlanta on

It is what it is...I think it seems that the only people uncomfortable about hearing or saying the proper anatomical names for a boy's and a girl's "p****** p****" are the adults.

If the parent comes across to the child as being uncomfortable when discussing their body parts, then the child will also become uncomfortable using the correct terms.

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L.F.

answers from Spartanburg on

Cheryl,
this may sound funny but our girls call it their monkey. I don't know where we came up with it but is worked and we have stuck with it. They are 2 1/2 years old know and they know the difference between their monkey and one on t.v or at the zoo haha!! Hope you find one that works for ya'll!

L.

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B.C.

answers from Augusta on

I say teach her the real name....... when my oldest was little, we did not. and imagine her horror when her teacher asked the class to make tally marks to count to five......( the name we gave for boy parts).

the name for each body part is what it is. there should not be anything wrong with your child knowing( and even, perhaps, saying out loud) what it is.

jmho

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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I used to work at a school and one day a little girl came into the office and whispered in my ear that her "diamond" hurt. I have also heard it called a "lady bug". I have a friend who has a 6 year old little girl who was molested and the courts didn't follow through because she couldn't identify what part was touched. How horrible! I personally use "to to" for a girl and "pee pee" for a boy for now but I plan on teaching my kids the proper name when they are just a little bit older, right now they are 2 yr and 3 mo. My daughter would be the one in the checkout line to announce to everyone that "mommy has a vagina too".

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D.V.

answers from Atlanta on

I know that you have gotten lots of answers but i thought that i would jump in. My girls (4 & 6) know the correct terms but in general we say bottom and crotch. I have explained that ALL body parts have doctors names as well...I talk to them about it every so often. Really what is the harm in a nickname. Most kids say "tummy" but when was the last time you saw your dr and said that your tummy hurts. We all grow out of the nicknames when it is right for us.

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D.S.

answers from Macon on

I have two girls and we call it a lady. So they have a bottom and a lady and boys don't have a lady. But my three year old has somehow gotten confused and she calls it her body, I don't know what she thinks the rest of her is, but her girly parts are her body.
As she gets older she will call it what she wants but for now vagina is really too old for any little girl. Besides, my kids say anything in public and that is not a word I want them saying in the grocery store.
Good luck.
D.

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S.J.

answers from Atlanta on

At this point with my daughter... we just say "pee pee" and "booty". innocent enough...as she gets older of course we may use more grown up words.

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M.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi Cheryl,

Personally I like girl parts and boy parts. We don't make the real names dirty but sometimes other kids do. They can grow into those names. But do be careful with nicknames because they all have origins. Booty was a pirate word. It originated in the 70's when adult men started calling women's parts treasure. I was a child from that era so when I hear it, it sounds dirty to me, especially coming out of a small child's mouth.

I don't think the question is stupid at all. I wish I had had an outlet like this when I was just starting out!

God bless!

M.

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J.K.

answers from Columbus on

I taught my oldest daughter to use the correct word and she would repeat is many times a day. It was so embarassing and very funny!!

Now we just say "tootie" you live and learn.
I work with two year old boys and I use the correct word with them. I was afraid that their parents would be upset but, one of the mom's said it was okay.

This is a toughie you want to teach your kids the correct names but, when you hear the words come out of their mouths it is weird.

It just goes to show you how prudish we Americans can be about our own body parts. We can't even say the correct words.
No wonder we have issues.
Good luck with your decision

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H.W.

answers from Columbia on

Really not a silly question at all! I had the same question too. My daughter is 2 now and this is probably a silly name, but we call it a "front hiney." She really doesn't understand the difference, just calls the general area the "hiney." So that's what we've adopted. I know there are a lot of people who disagree and think you should teach children the proper anatomical names and i really have NO problem with that. It seems that would be easier with boys. Little girls have so many delicate little parts and they don't know the difference between the urethra and the vagina and the anus, so why confuse them? When the time comes and I feel like she's ready, i'll teach her then. For now, she is satisfied with this. Good luck!

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I have a 2yo girl and we just use pee-pee and booty as the terms. Once they get older, then use the proper names.

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T.C.

answers from Augusta on

Not a silly question at all! Many parents have wondered the same thing.
While I was in school majoring in Early Childhood Education this topic was discussed in Health and Wellness. Though it may feel awkward at first, it is perfectly OK and recommended to go ahead and teach your daughter the actual names of the parts of her body. If the child grows up always knowing what the names of their body parts are then they are less likely to be embarrassed to talk about their bodies when they have questions as they get older.
That being said, we do use nicknames (pee pee, pee wee, and bottom) but emphasize that these parts are private and are not to be touched by anyone except when the doctor has to check them. I think you just have to do what works for you.

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B.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Cheryl, not silly at all...The "proper" name could be her vulva, as the front part is indeed that. A girlfriend taught her girl that, and when she, as a little girl, had a urinary tract infection, she was able to tell her mom her vulva hurt. Other moms use puki, or nuni. Little ones have no idea they HAVE a vagina, so that word is indeed obsolete till later...Good luck!

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N.K.

answers from Atlanta on

this is a totally personal question- it just matters what is comfortable for you and your husband. I have friends that refuse to call it anything but what it is and I have friends that use a rather crude slang for it.....I have 3 boys so we call it what it is most of the time- but we do say "private" when it's more appropriate.
We just call boys and girls areas thier "private" - because thats what it is!!
Good Luck to you.

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T.T.

answers from Savannah on

I have 4 kids and I have honestly never called their p****** p**** by the proper name. The boys have a "peepee tail" that as they got older evolved into just a "tail". The girls have "tushies". Dont know why, because as they grow they were told the proper names but it just works this way for us. I think as long as you teach her its a private area, the name you call it isnt that important, at least at this age.

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D.C.

answers from Savannah on

I don't think there is anything wrong with a nick name especially at this age we use peepee and hiney or bottom for the back. When she saw my husband we just said thats daddy's peepee when the time comes and she asks why it looks differrent we will tell her because he is a boy and thats what boys peepees look like, of course there is nothing wrong with using the real words if you are comfortable with hearing them anytime anywhere and I know some people say it will make them ashamed and all that but I don't think so I grew up using nicknames it's just something for little kids. Even Oprah uses the nick name Va J, the word vagina is just so long. It's ok for your kids to have a nick name and to use disgretion with words, she won't think those parts are dirty just tell her they private, kides won't automaticly feel those parts are ok b/c they call them the correct words, all kids know there is something "different" about p****** p**** b/c they have to keep them covered and they are told to keep them private. All school agerers will be embarassed about these parts no matter what they are called your kids aren't gonna wanna talk abou them it's just how kids are at that age too.

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B.I.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey Cheryl,
I had this dilemma, too. I had a customer come into my store and she told her daughter to put her legs down her "tiny" was showing.

I thought that was a cute phrase to call a vagina.

As for her boobs, those were biddies. My nephew combined boobs and titty and BIDDIES.

For a son, in the future, my son called his a Peep.

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