Get a darn smart and aggressive Lawyer.
Do your homework.
How the hell, does he expect you do handle ALL the mortgage/health insurance/child costs, alone?
This is like abandonment.
His moving to wherever, is a "separation."
And yah, how will that all impact you legally?
What IF, you CANNOT even contact him, once he does move? Then what? HOW will you, even get anything signed by him or approved or followed up on, AND per anything legal or per accounts or joint accounts etc.? Much less about child support.
AND what if, he wipes your accounts clean, or leaves tons of debt for you to clean up...when he is gone? What will you do? He could just disappear. And not even tell you where he is. (My friend's Ex, did that to her).
You need a Lawyer.
Take control of this situation.
Don't let him control it.
Tell him if he goes, he can't expect you to just wait.
You cannot trust him.
DOCUMENT EVERYTHING and do not tell him.
Get a journal and note down all passwords, account numbers, scan it and make copies etc. Do it, NOW.
AND note down his Social Security number too. And make a copy of his Driver's License.
Do all of this, WITHOUT him knowing.
Because if he disappears, you can probably locate him, this way.
You really need, to be able to track him... should he move away and disappears.
Hope you also have a current photo of him.
*ETA: you said "he wants to find a job in the south and move there on a trial basis and see if he likes it, meanwhile, wants me to stay at home with the kids and start a new job. If he likes it down there, he may want us to join him????"
BUT, you need to remember, this is NO guarantee. Of anything. It is just talk. He... could move down there. And have his own life. Not even contacting you nor the kids. And, he could very well cancel his cell phone number and then not even tell you. Then, with no phone number, you cannot even contact him. Nor know where he is, unless, he tells you.
And what about any mail, of his? Will he even tell you of a forwarding address? Or he might just give you a P.O. Box number. You can't contact him that way. Nor know where he is.
Sorry, but it seems pretty obvious, he is abandoning everything. Oh, but he wants you to get a job and stay home with the kids. And basically handle everything at home, while he blows off all his responsibilities.
And if you have the kids and have a job and are so busy, he knows you can't just leave.
You better get professional answers to all of this, because there will be lots of legal, problems. And bills and money problems. Because, he will not be there.
I certainly hope, you know his family well enough to contact them for info, should he leave and you can't contact him.
And, did you TELL your family... all of this???
Your Husband is leaving. Face it.
But, if he divorces you, then he will have to pay child support.
So if he does it this way, with the excuse that he is moving and looking for a job etc., he doesn't have to pay child support, because you both are still "married." Not legally divorced.
Get a Lawyer, now.
Before he leaves.
He is leaving you, stuck with the kids, a house mortgage which you cannot pay, and bills and debt.
Does your Husband, realize you will lose the house?
Does he want all of you to be HOMELESS?
There is no guarantee, he will contact you once he moves.
And he doesn't have to answer, your calls.
You will not be able to contact him, at all.