Marriage Advice or Counseling

Counceling honey, will get this year past a lot easier. Or go see your doctor very fast. Sounds like you both have Post Pardem. Every case is different. But Please for the sake of the baby seek some help. This to shall Pass given time. Every mom goes through this weather they admit it or not. Lots of Luck to you.
And enjoy that baby in good health.

Hi! Welcome to life as a wife of a gamer. Me and my husband have been married for almost 5 years and it has been a bumpy ride to get things worked out between us but I think we've pulled through. A gamer is a specific type of person who is basically addicted to playing games (they don't even have to be video games really). I have found most gamers end up divorced because their spouce feels neglected. The important thing to realize is that gaming for these people is a very real addiction. I happen to be a gamer myself (though not nearly as bad as my husband) and that has helped tremendously in understanding how to cope with being married to these guys. The first thing you have to do is cultivate a respect for him and the time he spends with his game. That is really the only way things are going to work. Although you could attempt to make him quit gaming altogether but trust me, even if you manage it your guy will probably harbor resentment that will end up destroying your marriage anyways. I know its hard when you really need him to help you with dinner or watch the baby for a second but when you are playing one of these games even momentary lapses of attention can ruin hours of effort. Beleive me your relationship will improve 300% if you don't "bug" him when he's gaming. If you really do need something from him and it can't wait warn him in advance so he can find a stopping point then try to be patient (hard I know). Once he sees that you are making this huge effort to respect him he will be much more inclined to be reasonable about limiting the time he's spending with his game. You need to talk to him explain that you don't want to cut out his time altogether but that you miss him and want to spend more time with him. I suggest limiting things to certain times say he gets monday, wendsday, friday, saturday as long as he breaks for meals with you. On his off days he can't even contemplate the game. The last important part of trying to make this work is when he is spending time with you insure he stays busy. Plan outings and activities or give him a project to work on. Gamers tend to be guys that have overactive minds and if you don't keep him busy then all he will be thinking about is what he could be doing if he was playing his game instead of spending time with you. You can see it in their eyes they get sort of a glazed look and their hands get all fidgety. This is the part I have the most trouble with my husband. He wants smething to do when he's not gaming. Anyways if you have more questions or just want to talk (or vent) give me an e-mail.

Hi,
My name is Katey, I am a wife of a computer game addict and a mother of a 15 mo. old litte girl. I saw your posting and thought I might be able to help. I am not a therapist or anything like that but I have been through what you are going through. If you ever want to talk you can email me at ____@____.com or call me at ###-###-####.

Katey

My dh and I have been married for almost 12 years and my experience is similar. He is addicted to the internet. Every evening when he comes home from work he goes straight back to the computer, logs on to check his email and then farts around looking at news and entertainment web sites for the rest of the evening, only taking out enough time to eat dinner with us...just barely.

We've been in counseling for 2 years and although he has gotten a little bit better in some areas, he still spends way too much time on the computer. We were separated for 6 months last year and just reunited in April. Unfortunately, it's not going that great!

Wish I had some words of wisdom, but I don't. My advice is to seek couples counseling. We have been seeing a wonderful counselor at Pastoral Counseling and Education Center on Lemmon in Oak Lawn. They are a nonprofit agency and some of their counselors specialize in addictive behavior and will allow you to pay on a sliding scale.

Best of luck and I'll say a prayer for you and your husband.

I can relate to your story. My husband plays games too and we have had fights over that too and that me and the kids weren't as important. I know he plays games to release his tension. Now he only plays after kids are in bed, but sometimes I wish he would spend that time with me. We have a toddler 2 1/2 and 1 yr old. So it is busy. I don't really know there's an answer, I know my husband has played less and less. As the babies got more on the move. Maybe its there way of escaping and releasing there tension. I told him its not that I don't want him to play but just a balance bewteen me and the kids.

hell don't feel alone im in the same boat have decided to start doing something for myself and i think that will make him want to spend more time with me so maybe you should consider the same
i think they take for granted that well always be there waiting 4 them
so don't be
find playdates that you and your baby can go to churches have them on certain days at different houses good luck

I am a single mother 3. Divorced from the father of my two oldest and never married to the father of my newest 7 month old baby (and we are no longer together).

Divorce is extremely hard. That is something that you will have to think about long and hard. Only you can make that decision. I don't regret divorcing my ex, but it was very hard for me to reorganize my life to being a single parent. He was no longer there to help transport the children, deal with automotive things, and things like that.

Legal fees can cost you too and will only heighten the animosity you and your husband may have.

Like I said, YOU are the one who needs to make that decision. I would feel it out and try different things to get your husband to pay attention to you. You may being emotional/sensitive due to hormones from the pregnancy.

My steadfast saying though, "You might as well be physically alone if you are already emotionally alone." Meaning, if he's not paying attention to you, then you are already alone, just make it to where it's physcially alone too.

I suggest you seek some counseling. Good luck. And if you ever want to just chat, feel free to contact me. I've been through it all...

You are not alone sweetie. This is such the case with so many couples I have found. Have you tried to sit down and have a heart to heart with him on how you are feeling? If you've exhausted all of your ideas then counseling really might be best. Good luck!