Mamas of Curly Haired Girls HELP!

Updated on August 03, 2012
A.B. asks from Simpsonville, SC
15 answers

Hey ladies!!
I have a beautiful 5yo daughter with long blonde curly hair. However, it is becoming unmanageable and I am sure that I am not doing something I should be. I only wash her hair 2-3x a week because it is dry and we use leave in conditioner after shampooing. I know some say not to shampoo but she gets stuff in her hair (food, paint, etc.) and I feel like it needs to be washed. Anyways, my problem comes in on like day 2 and 3 when she has slept on her hair a few times and it no longer is cute. It is frizzy and the knots in it are unreal. What are you guys doing to keep curly hair looking good several days in? Should I be brushing it at night and then spritzing it in the am? I just don't know what to do to keep it looking good and the tangles at bay on the days that we are not washing it. Also we usually take a bath at night and then when she wakes in the AM the matted mess has started. Any suggestions?

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~.~.

answers from Tulsa on

Try braiding it or putting it in a bun before she goes to bed at night. This is especially important if she is going to bed with her hair wet. It will always be a tangled mess if you sleep on wet hair. You could blow dry before bed, but that will really make it frizz.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

I am a life-long curly-haired gal, and not the type of curls you see in the commercials. I am a kinky-curly girl :-) with frizz :-(. I've found that wetting it daily and putting in leave-in conditioner softens everything. I like the organic Giovanni brand for dry, damaged hair. I have it in as we speak.

I can not stress enough like Kristina M. NO BRUSHING CURLS. That is a recipe for afro-frizz!

So yeah, while other gals are fighting the brush in the morning, your girl can sit back and get a nice spritz and leave-in conditioner.

Good luck. It took me DECADES to figure it out :-)

4 moms found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Chattanooga on

First of, NEVER brush curly hair! My hair is super curly, and brushing it only separates the curls which turns them into a big, knotted, frizzy mess. Use a pic or a wide-tooth comb. (REALLY wide tooth..) to get out any tangles.

When I was little, my dad would french-braid my hair back every night. Then in the morning, he would spritz it until it was fairly damp (which would cause my curls to 'clump' back together into cute spirals instead of the waves from the braids) with a diluted leave-in conditioner. Finish off with just a *touch* of mousse for curly hair, or an anti-frizz serum. (Personally, I like the tresseme (sp?) curl care mousse.)

I use the same tricks on my DD's curly hair. I only wash it once a week... the rest of the time, I just put a dollop of MY curl-care conditioner on her head and comb it through. (that is the ONLY time I ever use a normal comb on her... I go very slowly and carefully to avoid breaking her hair, and make sure that all of her hair gets coated in conditioner.) It has been working pretty well for us so far! :)

2 moms found this helpful
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V.P.

answers from Columbus on

My friend has bone straight hair, but her daughter is biracial and has the most gorgeous long, kinky, curly hair. She has learned to wash it once a week and then keep it braided most of the time in two long pigtails. After the first few days of being in braids, she lets it down into one ponytail in the back. On the last day or so before washing, she might let it out to hang loose. I know you may not want her hair in braids all the time, but it makes her life a lot easier -- washing and combing it out can take over an hour, and her hair is absolutely beautiful in these long braids with curly ends.

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A.K.

answers from Omaha on

haven't read your other responses so sorry if this is a duplicate. My daughter & I both have curly hair, my daughter more so than me. She is also 5. We have found that we use a wide tooth comb only when its wet. On day two or three we put it in a pony tail & it still looks cute. We use lots of detangling spray on day 2. We have to wash hers every other day as hers is really curly. Condition the heck out of it. Don't brush it as it will make it frizzy. Good Luck! You may also consider braiding it when its wet.

1 mom found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

Try putting it in a braid before bed and wet it with water to brush it. You might also keep it up on day 2 and 3 to help avoid knots and matting. I notice that the detangle sprays leave my daughters hair sticky and dried out. I do brush through her hair at least twice a day and keep it layered.

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

Braid it at night before she goes to bed. That should help. Use a wide tooth comb. You can also try dry shampoo to refresh things.

1 mom found this helpful

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

NEVER brush curls. ONLY use a pic. You should wet it daily and condition lightly daily. In addition NEVER BRUSH CURLS. Sorry, I can not say that enough. I suggest you learn how to braid her hair as well You Tube will be good for that. You can wet and condition w/out shampoo in addition I suggest you use sulfate free shampoo they are everywhere now. You may also want to put a touch of product in her hair like a light mousse for curls Tressemee (sp) has one that is good but use sparingly only a touch is needed. I have curly hair and no one knew what to do with mine either and it took a lifetime to figure it out alone. If you have further need PM me.

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M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

Oh the joys of the curls :). So cute and so challenging all at the same time.

My daughter has curly hair because she is mixed, but has the same kind of problems, though we only wash her hair once a week.

Honestly, does she have a hair dresser? Does the same person do her hair every time it is cut? We listened to so many people about what products to use for my daughter and while some were great, the results were never what we were looking for. I finally asked my daughter's hair dresser for the good stuff. Now I spend a lot more money than by going to Wal-Mart, but she uses producst that keep her hair pretty amazing now. So mayhe he/she would know your daughter's hair and be able to tell you the best products for her.

Good luck!

ETA: We use a combination of Paul Mitchel, Mizzani, and Kera Care products. I'm not sure if those work for "white" hair also though, so check with your hair stylist.

1 mom found this helpful
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Y.W.

answers from Athens on

Have her sleep in a silk sleeping bonnet. You can get them at walmart.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I condition DD with Dove intensive conditioner when we give her a bath, which is almost nightly. I have read that curls need moisture. Is there a reason you don't do a wash out conditioner? I do not brush it - a tip I got from my mom (I had curlier hair as a kid). I let her hair air dry and use a really fat comb or my fingers to pull it into pigtails or a pony tail. She might not have a perfect part, but she doesn't have frizz head, either. If it's really snarled up, I use Suave detangler and a wide comb or a plastic brush, like the black and orange Goody ones. My former housemate had really curly hair and would braid it on day 1 and then let it out on day 2 and then rewash and rebraid.

Oh, and IMO, only put a hair binder in if it's braided. Don't be tempted to leave a ponytail in overnight. I had to cut one out of DD's hair the other week when Daddy didn't take it out (she fell asleep in the car after fireworks).

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A.S.

answers from Atlanta on

We only use a wide tooth comb to get the tangles out although I have friends who raved about this with their kids.

http://www.amazon.com/Remington-Tangle-Tamer-Wet-Dry/dp/B...

Also, Ouidad has amazing products for kids with curly hair....you might want to buy their travel sizes and test them out.

If her hair is long enough, put it in braids at night to keep the tangles at bay.

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A.R.

answers from Chicago on

My sisters have curly hair. And it wasn't until they were teens that they properly started caring for their hair. So...you should never brush curly hair, use a wide comb, and lotsa conditioner, and leave in conditioners, and a detangler if possible. Comb it when it's wet. You mentioned your daughter has long hair, have you thought about cutting it?

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Unlike others, I do brush my daughters curly hair. I only do it in the mornings on days we don't wash it. My duaghters curls aren't super tight and the curls spring back when you wet her hair which I do after (and then run my fingers or a comb through.

I wash my 5 year old hair and condition it with my shampoo and conditioner. I find the kids shampoos and such dry her hair and she is old enough now to help. After that I sit her with a book or a short show and put in a leave in conditioner and comb her hair. First I usually have to go through with my fingers. On days we don't wash I can sometimes get by with just spritzing and combing and somedays I brush and then spritz. Sometimes adding a little more conditioner to the damp hair can help. I often do ponytails when it is really bad.

You can always try to old methods of using silk/satin pillowcases (although mine never sleeps on the pillows) or putting a scarf over her hair. We have also started doing more AM showers to help.

K.L.

answers from Cleveland on

My daughter has curly hair, but it is extremely thin. My partner has super thick, curly hair. On my daughter I use a regular conditioner in the bath and then comb it and braid it before bed. In the morning I spray the heck out of it with detangler and comb it again if necessary.
My partner uses loads of conditioner, a leave in conditioner, combs it with a wide tooth comb, uses Frizz Eaze and then mousse for curly hair.

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