So Connor is only 3 1/2 but we have already really started looking into schools for him. We were all set and had made up our mind pretty much to send him to this private school near us. Everyone I talk to raves about it and to me, the thought of private school just worked better for our family.
That being said, I have a major issue with something that I read in their school guide book. Under the lifestyle policy it says the following:
[B]Sexual Immorality:
In the light of God’s word, the Christian school must implement discipline where there is a clear violation of God’s moral code regarding sexual abuses: fornication, adultery, incest, and homosexuality.
The superintendent will consider suspension or dismissal of any student who violates this policy.[/B]
I have a HUGE problem with this and am considering not sending my child because of it.
#1. I do not believe that homosexuality is wrong and I certainly do not want my son being taught that it is. If he turns out to be gay I want him to be able to be open about it. Not have to hide it in fear of getting into trouble.
#2. My sister is gay and has had a partner for about 15 years now and I love them to death. In fact, the both of them are Connor's godmother's and I will not have him thinking that his godmothers are not good people.
#3. We chose a Christian school instead of a Catholic school because of the fact that I believed my child would be taught based on all faith's. Not all faith's believe this about homosexuality and I am really put off that this school would have something in their guidebook about it.
#4. There is nothing in there about sex before marriage. So that is not a sin, but you will get kicked out if your gay? That just does not make any sense to me.
So my question is this. Do I just look for another school or would you address this with the school? DH says it is a private school and they can do what they want so there is no use even bringing it up. But I will not be sending my child to this school if this is their policy.
So what would you do?
Thank you so much everyone for your support. It is so nice to know that the majority of the people here will listen and help, and not attack. We have decided this is not the school for us and will look for other options.
As for this written by R.R.:
Then you would have to explain to him WHY his mother believes in only bits and pieces of the Bible, and not ALL of it. And how "all" faiths are really correct, even though Jesus said their is ONLY one way to the Father.
Love the sinner mom, not the sin.
Now, being as I am getting to the REAL truth of your public problem here, I will say this.
I would sincerely advise you to research your arguement against the Christian school in light of the Bible and God's Word, and then research man's view of your arguement in the world's view.
Which aligns better with you K.?
Search your heart and then make your decision before you go taking it up with this private school.
Clearly I got you all bothered about religion. How do you know what the reason is for sending my child there? To learn the bible (but only when it applies to me)? I never said that at all and I never gave my personal reasons why we wanted private and not public. Learning the preachings of the bible was actually one of the last things on this list as to why I wanted him to go there. But that is neither here, nor there. My reasons are private. As for explaining to my child why I only believe parts of the bible and that all faiths are right. Well, you got me there. I do only believe parts of the bible and I do believe that all faiths are right. I have no right to judge someones religion just as they have no right to judge mine. Whatever someone believes is THEIR business. So obviously I am not a "true" Christian in your eyes and that is fine by me.
Most importantly, I believe that I love my sister now matter who she is. I will not have my child taught hate and intolerance towards ANYONE so I guess this school is not for us. I don't care of the bible says it or not! She is a flipping HUMAN BEING and deserves to be treated as such.
And also, I did not ask for your opinion on what you think of my religious beliefs. I asked if you would contact the school or not.
K.
I would say if you have a problem with it than it's not the school for you. Obviously they have had these rules in place for awhile, and I would guess that you aren't going to be able to change that.
2 of our sons will be in a catholic school this year and attended Christian a pre-school. We have yet to run across any issues like this; I would be right there questioning their decisions to teach such issues in such a negative light. THey may teach that a union is between a man and a woman, because that is how it is in the bible; however, that may have to be when you step in and explain the situation with his aunt is a bit different than that. I will be willing to bet that this issue or question will come up to you at some point regardless of the school he goes to. I guess if this is an issue with you I would ask the school about this statement in their guidebook and see what they have to say about it. I would make my decision after hearing their response to it. If you get a response that feels good in your heart then I would continue with plans to send your child there if you like everything else they offer, otherwise look elsewhere. Some of the Charter schools are nice too, smaller classes etc. but there wouldn't be any christian teachings at all.
good luck.
Hi K.,
I understand your concerns, however...the likely hood that he will be gay and finally be able to come to grips with it himself to be open about it, he probably won't be going to that school anymore for this policy to be of threat to him.
I'm sorry to say, but I still think that the gay community still isn't very accepted by society, but tolerated. If he discovers he is gay, the society being what it is, he will probably hide it for longer than you want him to. My sister-in-law is Gay and even though she knows the family knows about her and her significant other and that we're accepting of their lifestyle, she still has never come out and said it to anyone and she is 50. I know that this is a different day and age, but still...there are stigmatisms that even gay people do not want to face when growing up gay, and I believe that it makes it hard for them to even accept themselves, much less by society.
Christian schools support the bible, and the bible says that Gays are not tolerated. I believe the difference is that Catholic schools require certain catholic courses within a child’s curriculum, where a Christian School, you still get to pick the courses you take, without lots of bible teachings. My husband and I have considered sending our daughter to a private Christian school and the same thing crossed our minds as well. I believe that in the event of her being gay, there would be different issues to struggle with that would take a priority over a school policy.
I'd send him to the school that other than this issue, seems to be a good school. It's rare that he will be gay anyway and if he is, he will suffer more in a public school than in private, and will not be given the educational advantages as he will in a private school.
Hope this helps...a little.!? No mean to offend anyone if I touched on something that is a bit controversial.
I am a teacher and grew up in a house of teachers, so I can tell you that the school would want to hear your reason for not sending your child. However, I doubt that your concerns would prompt them to change their policy.
Whatever you choose, remember, you are your child's most important teacher. Whether you choose to send him to a public or private school the lessons you teach him at home are what will provide him his foundation for his morals and values. No matter where you send him there will be things he sees or hears that will not sit well with your values. Take that as a learning opportunity to discuss differences in people but also as a chance to solidify what is important to you and your family.
Goog luck, not an easy choice.
I went to a Catholic school growing up, and this issue never came up. I'm not sure if they had that policy or not, but if they did, it was never brought up. I also plan on sending my daughter to the same school once she is that age. I would maybe look into a different school and see if they have the same rules. I don't think addressing it with the school will change anything at all, they will most likely just tell you not to go there if you don't like it.
I would not send my child there, but I'd let them know why. It will then be up to them to explain or amend their policy if they feel the need. Maybe if enough people did the same they'd change their policy. But until then, I don't think you will feel right sending your child there. It goes back to some of the other discussions on the board - tolerance.
Hi K.,
Your arguement against the Christian school does NOT hold any water.
Their viewpoints, their rules, their standards would come directly from the Bible itself which says,
Le 18:22
Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
A good Christian school would teach the view point of God's and the laws and standards He gave His people and set forth for their good.
They would NOT teach man's point of view and the "norms" that man has put upon the world.
Your point on #4 DOES make sense as when your child is old enough, he would be taught abstinance before marriage, as that is addressed in topics of fornication in the Bible and given to children when they are old enough to learn about this in health class.
A good Christian school would follow those standards K.. I can guarantee you that this is their policy and they will use God to back it up. Seeing as they teach their children from the Bible, they DO have the authority to put this into practice. Your husband is correct.
You would be better off sending your child to public school, if you wish your child to grow up with the world's worldview. Because he won't be receiving that at a Christian school. And if you wish your child to learn of ALL faiths, (as you stated in #3) then you would not be better served at a Christian school.
Or
You could send him to a Christian school and he receive contradictory information that doesn't align with his mother's.
Then you would have to explain to him WHY his mother believes in only bits and pieces of the Bible, and not ALL of it. And how "all" faiths are really correct, even though Jesus said their is ONLY one way to the Father.
Love the sinner mom, not the sin.
Now, being as I am getting to the REAL truth of your public problem here, I will say this.
I would sincerely advise you to research your arguement against the Christian school in light of the Bible and God's Word, and then research man's view of your arguement in the world's view.
Which aligns better with you K.?
Search your heart and then make your decision before you go taking it up with this private school.
I would consider another school. Family is more important - If you want the religious teachings for Connor, you can always take him to Sunday school or youth program in your local community church, it would be showing him a good example of the importance for religion in your family by making it a family activity. He can then spend the majority of his week in a school where there isn't conflict of views - Would he get kicked out for talking about his godmothers on shown and tell day? Good luck, that is a tough one!
