Maiden Name

Updated on April 15, 2009
P.S. asks from Galt, CA
15 answers

Hi there, I want to go back to my maiden name after 2 years of being divorced. If any of you moms are divorced or know something about this I would really appreciate the feedback. thanx, patty

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So What Happened?

Hi everyone, I had alot of different responses to my question about going back to my maiden name. Some of you said to think about my children and how they would feel. So, I had a talk with them. They both said it didn't matter to them and that it was okay for me to change my last name. I know its going to be a hassle calling up creditors and showing proof,etc. But I wanted to check with my kids first before doing any of that. My kids are happy that I'm happy. So, I want to thank everyone for your feedback. Talk to you again some day.

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D.J.

answers from San Francisco on

P.,

My sister chose to keep her married name for the sake of the kids. Although, she would change it to her new husband's name if she ever gets remarried.

D.

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T.Y.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi Patty:
First what you want to see is if on your actual divorce documents you marked that you could use your maiden name or if it was marked you would stay using the married name.
Then if it was marked you could use your maiden name, all you have to do is inform your creditors and give a copy of your divorce document showing this was marked and they would have to change it per your request.
If it was kept that you would continue using the married name, you will need to file an application and order for a change of name. So long as you have a copy of your divorce documents, it would be easy to do. There would be the filing fee and service fee but all would be handled simply and easily.
Provided this is in the Sac County area, I could easily help you as I am a paralegal and could save you some money.
I have recently helped another mother out with her daughter changing her name too. I can ask her if it would be alright for you to chat with her if you would like a reference.
Let me know if I can be of service to you.
T.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.H.

answers from Sacramento on

why would you want a different last name from your children?

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B.B.

answers from San Francisco on

it's a matter of filing to restore your after entry of judgment. It's a pretty easy process. your former attorney should be able to assist you or you can contact my office. it should be a couple hundred.

good luck,

B. A. Blecher
Certified Family Law Specialist
Blecher & Hubbell
1500 E. Hamilton Ave., Suite 201
Campbell, CA 95008
(408) ###-###-####
###-###-#### fax
____@____.com
www.blecherhubbell.com

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S.G.

answers from Stockton on

I preferred to stay the same name as my kids. It is easier for teachers...Just my opinion.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Dear P.,
Having your name changed after a divorce isn't all that difficult, however it's much easier when you include it in your divorce petition. That way, it just happens automatically.
I, to this day, can't stand the very sight of my abusive ex-husband and the first thing I wanted was my name back. But, I'm glad I didn't follow through with it, for the sake of my kids. I divorced him, not them. Sure, I'm entitled to my own identity and all that, but I just figured that explaining why I didn't want THEIR name wasn't worth it to me.
I know that you're living with a great guy, but really consider who the name change is for.
If you get married, your name will change again anyway. In my personal opinion, you may as well leave things as they are until that happens.
The decision is ultimately yours and I'm sure you will do what's best for you and for your family.
Best wishes!

G.P.

answers from Modesto on

Hello P.,
From what I know, if you had a job with your maiden name, with that should be proof you show vital statistics. Someone stole my id, & I took it in, & had my name changed. I don't know if they charge to do that. You have to go to social security, dmv, etc & change it their too. My sister is going through the process, she told me they are charging her $17. Every state is different. I hope this helps.

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M.K.

answers from Chico on

You need a copy of the divorce decree to apply- that much I know. My sister just went through a divorce and her name change was part of the settlement and occured simultaneously. Contact your county clerk/recorders office.

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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

P.,

Unless you are planning to re-marry at this time, I would wait to change back to your maiden name until your children are no longer living with you. No matter what you do, you will never be a maiden again and changing your name might affect your kids in negative way.

An alternative might be to hypenate your name. (ie. P. "Maiden name-Married name)

Blessings......

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L.A.

answers from San Francisco on

I made that choice myself back in 1976. If I had to do it over again, I would have left it alone. I found myself constantly explaining why my name was not the same as my son's and really became a hassle with school, doctor's, etc (and having to provide extra documentation to prove I was his mom). My ex was a cheater and I couldn't stand the thought of carrying his name another day. In hind sight I should have hyphenated my maiden name after his, or left things alone. When/if you marry again you'll have the opportunity to change your name again, as I have.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I don't know why you would want to do that given that you have children who, I assume, have your ex-husband's sir name. My last name was different than my daughter's and she didn't like it. In fact, she insisted on going by my last name, which was not her legal name. In any case, if you truly want to do that, you just have to file a Petition for Name Change with your local superior court. You will also have to publish the petition and then go to court and the judge will change your name. Again, if you have children with your same name now, you might want to rethink changing your name. It really DOES matter to the kids!

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A.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

I came from divorced parents and my mom remarried but I kept my dad's name since my step dad didn't adopt me. I always felt weird and distant from my family since I had a different name from my mom. It is a small detail but something to consider if your kids have a different name than you.
a family is more than a name but to kids trying to fit in and explain may be a different story.

I hope my two cents help.

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D.S.

answers from San Francisco on

There seems to be a lot of feedback here about not changing your name to be different than your children's last name. I got married almost 2 years ago and haven't gotten around to changing my last name from my maiden name to my married name. I'm also not sure if I want to. It's a lot of hassle, a lot of paperwork to change (credit cards, checkbook, payroll at 2 different jobs, etc.). I now have a step-son and his last name is thusly different from mine. I don't find it to be a problem. Then again, I live in SF where there are a ton of married couples with different last names. I would say that at my step-son's school a good third of the mothers have a different last name than their children. I know one couple where the woman didn't want to change her name so they hyphenated the kids names to be both of the parents names. I guess that's okay, but it's a bit of a burden on the kids. And then what happens if the girl gets married and wants or feels she might want to keep using her maiden name for professional reasons or otherwise? Is she going to hyphenate THREE names? It sort of gets ridiculous. I think it's a complicated thing. And you should do what's right for you. My husband really wants me to change my last name. But I haven't felt the motivation to as of yet. Some of it is an identity thing. Some of it is just the hassle.

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R.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I elected to give my daughter my last name ( I am a single mom) because I knew her father wasn't gooing to be around. We happened to be talking about it the other day and she said she was glad that I had done that I had done that as it was much less confusing and she felt like part of my family. I know that is probably not what you want to hear but I hope it helps.

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