Lying

Updated on April 04, 2008
O.S. asks from Bronx, NY
4 answers

Yesterday I went to pick up my almost three year old daughter from day care and she had a cut on her arm. When I asked the daycare teacher what happened to her she informed me that my daughter told her that I cut her. The daycare teacher did not pay her any attention because she knows me better than that. I was extremly upset because I would never do anything to hurt my child. After much prodding I found out from my daughter that she hurt herself after getting off the toilet. But my concern is that she will be starting school in September and I am worried about what will happens if she tells that to her school teacher. Is this a phase or has anybody else gone through this? How can I break her out of this lying stage?

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N.M.

answers from New York on

Just a phase. My daughter will be 3 in July and says silly stuff like that. I know the whole cutting thing hurt you, but I don't think it phased her. I ask my daughter when she has something on her like a bruise and she tells me the cat did it. They are still learning the language and they don't fully understand everything! My daughter will say, "What a beautiful day outside if it is cold and rainy or if it is sunny and 60! Don't sweat it at all. They don't fully understand everything!

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A.T.

answers from New York on

Don't take it personal, it is a phase. They are testing the language skills and she might have been startled when the teacher asked her what happened and in her mind she probably thought making mommy responsible was the right thing to do. I'm sure she was not being malicious, so do not view it as such. Come September, she will be into new things and all this will have been forgotten.

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D.D.

answers from New York on

You daughter didn't say that to get back at you or make you look bad to the teacher. She just said it so that she wouldn't look bad. You might want to sit down with your daughter over some milk and cookies and explain that when she gets hurt it's important for her to tell you right away so that you can make sure she's ok.

You might want to ask the daycare teacher for advise on how to handle the situation. She'll be able to give you some helpful tips.

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T.J.

answers from Buffalo on

At this age I would say it's a phase. you need to teach her what a lie is cuz otherwise she won't understand. I went though this with my now 6yr old. He was consatantly lying but was about things he did with his dad that weren't true(dad wasn't involved at the time). I had to explain to him the difference between things that were true and what was made up, eventually he got it. I also wouldn't worry too much about those kinds of lies in school and CPS being called. When my daughter was in first grade she told her teacher that I didn't feed her and the only food she got was from grandma! The truth was that everytime we went to grandmas she was given stuff she didn't always get at home. The teacher and I talked to her aboout "stories"(lying)and how hurtful they can be. She seemed to get it and we didn't have very many problems after that. If for whatever reason CPS does get called in, then if you have nothing to worry about just let them do their job and get it over with. I know it can be scarry and a royal pain in the butt dealing with them but I really wouldn't worry if I were you! Good luck!

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