Lost Touch with Our Friends

Updated on July 01, 2012
D.B. asks from Atlanta, GA
9 answers

Since having a baby and moving around the country (Military PCS) we have lost touch with our friends and our family is 3,000 plus miles away. Over the past couple of years we have isolated ourselves since my husband is deployed frequently and I stay home to raise our daughter. We would like to find families in our area who are like us and have similar values and raise their children with the same type of ethics as we do but we are not sure how to go about doing this. Most of the people my husband works with are divorced dads or single people and are deployed as frequently as he is so it's hard to start any solid ties with members of his squadron and since I am currently a stay at home mom I am not around many other adults on a frequent basis. Does anyone have any suggestions to find family friends?

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answers from Redding on

You just have to get out there and start meeting people.
A walk with a stroller, a conversation while at the grocery store, etc.

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Washington DC on


Welcome to mamapedia!!! Please thank your husband for his service and sacrifices to our country. Thank you as well for enduring what I know, personally, is hard.

As a Navy brat and USAF wife - I know what you are going through. I'm VERY sorry that you have isolated yourself. In EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY MOVES - Hawaii, Norfolk, Belgium, Germany, Taiwan, San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Washington, D.C. I NEVER EVER isolated myself. EVER.

Go to the MWR on base and find a support group. Is your husband Army or USAF? I have contacts in Georgia - especially at Fort Benning. I can get you in touch with them as well.

As to the friends you "lost" there is a time and place for EVERY friend in our lives - friend for a season, friend for a reason, etc.


Instead of STAYING AT HOME - go to the park!! Go to the library!! Take your daughter to the reading time at the library. Go for a walk!! You see someone with a child your age? STOP AND TALK!!!

Want to find people with the same type of ethics as you?? Do some research - if you like reading - find a book club!! if you want to join a church - find one that fits your family!!! Don't sit around the house just caring for your child - show her the world!!! There is more to it than just moving from base to base...

I met a W. when I moved to Ramstein from SHAPE - who had NEVER EVER stepped off Ramstein Air Base "because there are Germans out there" - She NEVER saw Paris. She NEVER saw the Rheine in Flames. She NEVER experienced German food. NOTHING. She did NOT venture off base. They flew into Frankfurt - they got into their sponsors car, came to the base, got base housing and there she sat. For 4 years...while I was there? I went as far east as Czechoslovakia, as far north as Berlin, To London and experienced several plays, Liechtenstein, Luxembourg, Holland, France and more!!! I went to Oktoberfest - several times and even took the PARTY TRAIN!!!

Any way - GET! OUT! OF! THE! HOUSE!!! Send me a personal message about WHERE you are and I will try and hook you up with the AD families I know down there.

9 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

You could start at church, while dropping off and picking your daughter up from the nursery you can meet other parents.

And take your daughter to places where other parents are taking their children, parks, libraries (I introduced all of mine to libraries at a very young age), and Mommy and me classes. Put your daughter in her stroller and go for walks in your neighborhood. When you find someone you think may be someone you want to get to know better invite them to bring their child over to play with yours or invite them for lunch and go from there.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on


There's probably support groups through the military as well.

I'd go through meetup. I bet you find lots of MOMS Clubs in your area or wherever you go next.

Good luck.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

Find a church. How about your unit's FRG? The local YMCA?

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Bloomington on

Your baby is your ticket to meeting lots of other parents/moms. Get you and your kiddo out and about. Google children's activities in your area.

I've moved a few times across country, and it's been MUCH easier to find other people to connect with by having children. You instantly have something in common with other parents. Go to the local library during story time. Chat up the other moms. Ask how old their child is. Tell them you are new to the area, and ask what other things there are to do in the area. If you feel comfortable enough, ask if you can give them your email address.....that's less personal, yet easy to communicate.

GET OUT, and be very sociable....even if it is against your nature.....it will do you good! :)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from New London on

I have a super friendly friend in Roswell. She is from Connecticut. My friend has met many of her friends at the local gym and from her son's softball team.

What about going to the local library for storytimes/classes, local pools, church, community centers, starting (or joining) a playgroup, etc...? When my kids were little, we always hung out at the local library for classes, storytimes, playgroups...I met a bunch of Moms there.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

i'd let go of all the requirements. some of my best and most interesting friends don't raise their kids as i did. you don't find out what people's ethics are by quizzing them prior to forming a friendship, you discover it as you go along.


answers from Santa Fe on

We moved here 2 years ago when my daughter was 2 months old (and son in Kindergarten) and I started being a stay at home mom. I joined the local MOMs club, and went weekly to the Family Strengths Network (a meeting place for parents, play time for kids, baby and parenting classes, etc) to just hang out during their weekly chat time. I met a ton of nice women and about 4 who also had just moved here. We started hiking together once a week. I went to the music and movement time at the local library and to storytime. I met tons of other moms there. When my daughter became a toddler I started going to the free toddler/preschooler program at the local environmental center. I met some really great people there. I asked people a lot about themselves, complained or chatted or sympathized...and invited others who seemed friendly to meet for coffee or to come over for a "playdate". I also met friends through volunteering for my son's field trips, taking him to his activities, and going to exercise classes at the YMCA. The YMCA has a child watch program so the kids can go play in there while I do a class...and I have met so many nice women there. After you start meeting people you have to invite them to meet you at community events or invite them to go to the pool with you or to meet you at the library or park. If I truly truly connect to someone I invite their family over for dinner...we might break out a game or just hang out and talk/watch the kids. I invite women friends to go do things I enjoy with me...go rock climbing or for a bike ride or meet me at a movie when I really really need a break one evening. My best friend I met because we both drove up to a trailhead at the same time. We both got out a baby and a baby carrier backpack. We both had an older son who was going to ride his mountain bike on the trail. We both had husky dogs! I thought, holy cow, this woman is me!!! We hiked together and talked the whole way and we had everything in common. We both are biologists. We both have husbands who are biking nuts. We both like to exercise. We both have an older son and a younger daughter who are about the same age range apart. It was total happiness to meet her...and when we all got together it turned out her husband and my husband really like each other as well. Anyway, getting out there to all the kid/baby activities you can every week and talking to people is what has worked for me. Good luck!!!

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