Lose of Job

Updated on August 22, 2011
G.A. asks from Apollo Beach, FL
8 answers

what are my options now he lost his job, theres no way i can pay for house or car on my salary, still dont no if he wll get unemployment, even if he does still cant afford our house now, or credit cards, had to apply for state help and even thats taking forever to let us no something, im about to just loose my mind, my son has issues with allergies, he is on 3 different meds for it, with out insurance for all the rx we are all on its over $400 a month, what am i going to do if my kids get sick and i still dont have some kind of insurance, DCF apparentley wants to take there sweet time on any kind of help, unemployment wants you to do so much to get it, please help any advice will help, im trying to be strong,Dont think i can sale my car ive only had it 1yr and i just refinanced it like a few months ago,

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answers from New York on

G., a friend of mine had the same situation a few years ago, and had two small children. She knew she could not get a job to pay enough to afford daycare and felt she had to do something. She started an in-home daycare. She cares for her own 2 plus 4 others. She is still doing it three years later and making a living doing it! Maybe this could be an option for you?

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answers from Washington DC on

HOLY SMOKES!! CALM DOWN!!! DO NOT PANIC!!!! When you panic you can't think....and when you can't think - you ask yourself so many questions that you forget to answer them...I've not read your other responses so if I am repeating anything - I apologize..

1. Take a deep breath - let it out slowly. Take another deep breath.
2. How long ago did your husband lose his job?
3. Why wouldn't he be able to obtain Unemployment? Yes, there is paperwork to fill out - but here in VA - it's ALL on the computer and can be done in 30 minutes.
4. While COBRA is not the least expensive option - i would check into it.
5. The house is the most important payment. The credit cards? sorry- they can wait.
6. contact ALL of your creditors and your mortgage company to let them know what is going on. COMMUNICATION IS KEY!! They may be able to help you refinance your mortgage. You won't know until you ask. As to your credit cards? They may be able to lower your interest rates and get you on a manageable payment plan.
7. Call the companies that make your son's meds - they may be able to help you.
8. have a yard sale - clean out the house of all things that are NOT necessary and sell them - get cash in the door.
9. for collectibles? sell them on craigslist or ebay...
10. If you have a second car that you really don't need - sell it.
11. Your car that you just refinanced? find out HOW much you can get for it and if you can find one that is more in your price range.
12. Since I don't know what your husband did - or why he was let go - or if he had a 401K - you might be able to borrow against it - I wouldn't do that until it was an absolute last measure...make sure taxes are taken out so you don't get blasted with a tax bill...talk to your funds financial advisor and see what they recommend.
13. Cancel any and all TV/Cable.
14. Find a different cell phone plan so you can save money there.

If you aren't getting responses from the state for assistance - GO TO THEIR OFFICE.

As my husband lost his job in July - I do feel your pain...we don't have the medical problems you do - but I do understand what it's like...we are fortunate to be a cash only family with only a mortgage and standard bills (electric, gas, cable) but I understand what you are going through. So please take a deep breath, don't panic.

Right a list of the things that you need to do - and check them off as you go. This will help you stay focused on the tasks at hand and prioritize...


4 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

The first thing I would do is sell the car and get one you can afford. Have you contacted the mortgage company to see if there's any type of payment arrangements you can make with them for the next few months until hubby goes back to work? Is it time to sell your house, or possibly rent it and look for a less expensive place to live?

Yes, social services takes a long time. I've heard of people waiting up to 6 months. However, unemployment in most areas is very easy to file a claim. In CT most people have their first check within 2 weeks.

Do you have a 401K? You should look into taking a hardship withdrawal.

Is hubby looking for another job? Are you looking for a 2nd job?

I've seen at least 25 posts on here within the past month about ways to save money. Look them up, there are some great suggestions.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Omaha on

Is there anything you can sell? i.e., garage sale? ebay? craigslist? Can you reduce to 1 car (selling off any that you have payments on)? What expenses can you cut? Internet (free @ the library)? Cell phone? Cable? This is obviously not a long-term fix but it could put some money back in your pocket for meds, etc. Can you sell the house and rent until you get back on your feet? If you haven't read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, I would suggest it as a means for more ideas.

I'm very sorry you are in this situation. Best of luck to you.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

G., I am so sorry. This must be very hard.
You might want to sell the car and get a used one with the equity from the one you sell.
There are supplements that can help your son with allergies that would be less expensive than the medicine. Is there a clinic in your area that would be low or no cost?
Wish I could offer more help. Hang in there!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

The first thing to do is take a deep breath. This is a tough situation and all at once, it's overwhelming. So, break things down......one thing at a time.
If he hasn't done it already, he needs to file his unemployment claim IMMEDIATELY. The first week after filing is considered a "waiting" period. It might take longer than a week for his claim to be completed so he can start getting checks, but they will pay retroactively except for the "waiting" week.
The sooner you get the claim filed and know what the benefit will be, if any, will help you plan.
Next, contact your mortgage lender and credit card companies and let them know what happened. Document the dates, the times, and the names of the people you spoke to. Take notes.
The next thing is the car. Find out what your options are there. You may have to sell it to get something more affordable.
Contact your local health department regarding your son. They will know about free or low cost clinics. If he has an established pediatrician, the pediatrician may be able to help you with samples of medications or know of some alternatives that will work until you get things steadied again.

Sometimes the best thing is to just get busy taking things one at a time which can help take your mind off the feelings of fear and helplessness.
It won't make you feel better to know that you aren't alone, but you aren't.

I'm not sure what you mean about unemployment wanting you to do so much to get it.
In California, you file a claim, which can be done by phone or on the computer, you have a telephone interview sheduled in which you discuss the details of why you lost your job and they verify things with the employer. Then, you just have to prove that you are actively seeking work, be able to verify that you weren't too ill or disabled to work and turn in your work search papers every two weeks.
State help can take a while and in California, they look at your assets as well as your income.
For sanity's sake, I would focus on the unemployment, assume you won't get state assistance (and if you do that's a bonus, but don't count on it),
deal with your kid's med needs, make arrangements if you can for lower payments and have your husband hit the pavement looking for another job even if it's a crappy night shift somewhere.
You really can make it through this.

Best wishes to you.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

For your son, call the pharmaceutical companies and ask if they have an assistance program and explain your situation.
I am unsure what type of work you do and when you work, it is time for both you and him to step up looking for both an extra part time job for you and a full time and possibly also a part time job for him even at Portillos, McDonalds, Walmart, Waiter, Waitress, retail anything.

Assess your current expenses do you have cable, internet, cell phones, house phone, drop a house phone if you also have cell phones, drop internet and cable...libraries have computers for use. Your credit cards, how high are they, is it realistic to call and explain your situation and get the interest rate reduced before you default. If the amount they offer to help you with closes the card that is okay. If you can make the payment they offer take the deal. If you can't afford the payment amount they offer let them know you will possibly need to file bankruptcy. If your kids get ill before all kids please unless it is a true emergency don't use the ER as that bill will usually exceed what it would have cost for a months insurance for the simplest of visits. Try finding out where free clinics/health department clinics are now before the illness happens. It is time to evaluate the homes in your area and decide if you are underwater and call your mortgage company to see if they will deal with you on the mortgage as you would like to keep living in the home and paying the mortgage if they can help you out for a year or two with a reduction or do a full refinance, rates are phenomenol. If they are unable to help, start checking out what you need to rent in an area that keeps you close to your job and other potential jobs.
Re-evaluate your other expenditures like groceries. Do you shop sales, coupon and eat healthy on the cheap? Do you plan your menu? Do you eat in fast food restaurants? Do coffee at a convenience store,Starbucks, or Caribou or Dunkin Donuts? Do you use beans to stretch meat? Do you fill the plate with rice, beans, veggies and a little meat?
You will have to decide how determined you are to get out of your situation and how, by working or debt write off via bankruptcy. I wish you luck and remember to remind him and anyone else who is umemployed that even though it's frustrating applying and finding a job is a 40 hour plus week job and must be worked at as if the boss was breathing down your neck and watching your every move.
So hard to be in this situation but you will survive.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

PM me - I can help you with the allergies. $400 a month and 3 meds and they aren't really doing the job, right? I'm guessing you can fix this for about $50 a month. I can help you.

Does the state have insurance for low income people? Unemployment usually requires you to fill out applications but you can do a lot of that on line and not have to be running around. Most companies have on line applications and don't want people to come in person.

Mortgages can be restructured sometimes when there is a job loss. Credit cards - do you mean making payments on existing debt, or using them to fund your living expenses? You can arrange with them to reduce or waive the interest - there are also companies that negotiate with them on your behalf and stop all the collection calls.

Call your state senator and legislator, even your congressman/woman. Really. They work for you. Doesn't matter if you voted for them or not, they work for you. They and their staff people can be great resources to get you connected to services you are entitled to, and they can grease the wheels of government to get someone to call you back who actually knows something and has some authority. They can tune you in to services you never even heard of.

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