Looking to Connect with Someone Who Has Anxiety

Updated on July 14, 2011
D.B. asks from Saint Louis, MO
12 answers

Ive been having alot of anxiety lately & am looking for someone to talk to about it. Anxiety & panick disorder can be so terrifying and makes you feel all alone. In the past two months my anxiety has been pretty strong & steady. I usually get an attack right when I am trying to go to bed. I get the heart palpations, lately my arms & legs start to fall asleep & feel tingley, my mind races, I feel sick, sometimes like Im going to die, my chest gets heavy & warm, it keeps me up most of the night, I feel wired when this happens. I used to see a dr a few yrs ago, and was taking meds but none of the meds ever seemed to help, just make my symptoms worse. I ended up getting pregnant with my 3rd son & took myself off the meds cold turkey(that wasnt fun!) and have been fine ever since. Ive had a few small attacks since he was born March 2010 but for the past 2 months it seems like the anxiety has taken over & has consumed me. Im not sure if I want to go back to meds, I cant right now cause Im still nursing, but am just looking for someone to talk to. I dont get much support from my hubby :( he just doesnt get it, gets frustrated w/ me, because when I have an episode, Im up all night then down the next day recooping. It sucks! And I just dont like it taking over my life!!!!! Ive got 3 boys under the age of 7, my oldest has Autism, and I stay home with them. I never get much of a break, which I know adds to it, my days are go, go go, and I dont even know how to relax, not in my vocabulary. Anyone that goes through this or something similar, please help!!!! Thanks in advance :)

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answers from Chicago on

I have had anxiety problems for many years. I hate it! I have many different symptoms at many different times. It depends on the situation. Usually, it is pretty minor. I have had 4 bad panic attacks. One actually happened last week. I have had bad anxiety over the past 2 weeks now because I have a TON going on right now. I do not like being on medication. I have been prescribed Xanax and prefer not to take it. It makes me to tired and zombie like. Plus, I have heard too many people that get addicted to it. Not for me. I have been looking for alternative ways to deal with this. I heard yoga is supposed to be really good. I have been looking for a place to go that works with my schedule.
It sounds like I am like you though....go go go! I cannot sit still. I do not know how to relax! I think that's what people with anxiety need to learn. But, I also have trouble with large crowds and things like that too. But its not as bad as if I get too stressed out.

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answers from Denver on

I'm so sorry, I can definitely empathize. I have suffered from anxiety my whole life as well and have noticed it comes and goes over the years but has gotten worse since I had my son (I only have one child). I've heard this from other moms as well and my doctor told me people who are prone to anxiety and panic attacks can usually worsen after having a baby. I've also taken meds and quit. I'm sure they could have prescribed me something stronger but I chose not to. I also saw a therapist a few times which helped a bit. I have not found any wonderful way to make it magically go away... but I have found when I feel an attack coming on to just take deep breaths from deep in your stomach. concentrate on them being slow and deep. try to get your mind on something else. I've found I just freak myself out, even when I know what's happening I still think I'm dying. A few months after our son was born my husband had to miss work because I was all tingly, numb, jumpy, light-headed, etc. just like you said. I was sure I was going to die and leave the baby all alone.

It helps to talk to someone else who's been in the same boat (for me it's my mom) she can help talk me down and then we just laugh about how dumb we are and I feel better. I wish I could make it go away for you! Just know that others go through the same thing, you are NOT ALONE! But I would recommend talking to your doc about it, there are other routes other than meds - you could try some alternative doctors as well. good luck and I feel for you! :)

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Spokane on

Yes, I go through this! My anxiety is mostly under control now, but I had a year or so where it was very severe. I wouldn't even take my kids in public, I wouldn't go outside until I was sure it was safe (meaning my dog was out for 10 min or so and she was calm), I would race to the car with my son and jump in and lock it then get him buckled into his car seat, I wasn't sleeping, I wasn't eating, etc. My hubby wasn't the greatest support either b/c he just didn't get how real my fears were.
I totally get where you are at. I am sorry!! I know how hard it is.
I went to counseling and did go on meds for a short time. I didn't like how they made me feel either. But there are tons of different kinds of anxiety meds and you have to keep trying until you find the one that works for you! I tried 5 or 6 until I found the "one". I only stayed on them for approx. 6 months. Just long enough to get me through the roughest times. I am better now, but I still have anxiety attacks and sleeping issues at times. I pray a lot and I talk out my attacks. Like I said, hubby doesn't "get it" but he is starting to understand how serious they are to me and will listen. It helps. Sometimes just to hear myself talk about it helps. It makes things less scary. If that makes any sense?!
Anyway...I can relate and am here for you!! PM if you'd like ~ anytime!!! Hang in there..........sounds like you need some quiet, alone time. Go get a massage, take a yoga class or a work-out class. It helped me.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Richmond on

I have really bad anxiety. I went to a doc, got some meds, MUCH better. Not completely better, but livable. There ARE meds you can take while nursing... look into it ASAP. A medicated mommy is better than a useless, anxiety-filled one ;)

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Houston on

If you don't want to be on meds, you should at least talk to a Dr who can refer you to a counselor that can give you some practical advice. I get anxiety at times too, but it's not as physical as you describe. Is there any way you can hire a helper during the day at all for a break? I don't know if this will help you, but when my mind races at night, I do a 'brain dump'. In which I just write everything down on a pad of paper next to my bed and do some light meditation, deep breathing, even counting. It does help me sleep better and relax.

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answers from Dallas on

I have a son with Autism as well, and he is the one who suffers from anxiety issues. Before I jumped to Rx meds, I have chosen all natural methods to help him. Things that have helped (some more than others, but it could be different for you) are a drink called CALM, you can find it at Whole Foods or online here http://www.calmnatural.com/naturalcalm as we found that my sons diet was low in Magnesium and it would trigger his anxiety/panic attacks. I'd serve him this drink (which tastes good) warm, it really helped. My latest product I've had him on that has done WONDERS is a product called LutiMax. The Lutimax was actually recommended to us for other issues regarding my son but a side effect of it is calming his brain to stop attacks before they start.

I charted when my sons attacks would happen and it definitely helped because when certain situations would arise, I could give him the CALM drink or Lutimax before it got either too bad or in a few incidences, he was able to self regulate and back down out of the anxiety before it escalated into a full blown panic attack.

I don't personally know how you feel but watching my son and having to help a child with autism calm down and work his way out of a panick attack can sure bring this mom to tears:(

Hugs to you!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Provo on

As a spouse of someone who suffers from anxiety, I feel for you. I have watched my DH go through this and it really sucks. But it is also really hard to relate to. Your husband is not blowing you off, but he really doesn't get it because he doesn't feel it AT ALL. It is VERY hard to understand what anxiety attacks are and feel like if you have never had them. Since you say "my days are go, go, go" sounds to me like you need some YOU time, some down time to re-learn how to relax or even some counseling to help you know how to handle these attacks. Medication may help for a time just to get you back on a normal track. And it may help to push the issue with your husband and really describe how you are feeling so that he can start to understand it and support you in any way that he can.

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answers from Detroit on

I agree with the previous poster.

The only time I get like you're describing is when it's a heavily crowded and loud public place. I don't shop at certain stores because of this.

Is there something that may be triggering these panic attacks as you lie down to go to bed? Something specific you're thinking about?

I agree that you should vent on paper... You might even see a specific pattern. Take that to a counselor/psychiatrist too.

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answers from St. Louis on

First, I wanted to second Rachel--"I have really bad anxiety. I went to a doc, got some meds, MUCH better. Not completely better, but livable. There ARE meds you can take while nursing... look into it ASAP. A medicated mommy is better than a useless, anxiety-filled one ;)"

And I'll add my own experience. I've had anxiety issues since I was a teen and finally got help in my late 20s--when I started having other health problems related to my stress. I got off my meds to get pregnant, but found that during my first pregnancy, my anxiety completely vanished. However, it came back with my second pregnancy and I decided to go back on meds right after my son was born. I've been taking Zoloft for years and found it works wonders! I just have a happier baseline and I don't get as anxious or frustrated as easily or to the level that I do without my medication.

Also, I am breastfeeding and have been told by three different doctors (and tons of my own research) that Zoloft is one of the safest drugs to use while BFing. Only a tiny percentage of the drug is found in breastmilk and you can even time it so that they don't get but a trace amount if you BF at only certain times of day. I feel it has made me a much better mother to both my kids!

Also, since this happens at night before bed, have you tried just having a glass of wine? Or if you don't want to drink alcohol, try chamomile tea--that might help a little. My go-to when I feel a night-time anxiety bout coming on is to keep a notebook by my bed so that I can jot down all the thoughts racing through my mind. Once I get them out onto paper, I can more easily focus on winding down to go to sleep.

Best of luck to you, and know you are certainly not alone!

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answers from St. Louis on

I know all too well how you feel. PM me if you have any questions or want to talk. Your not alone. :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

Anxiety is so much more intense than I think people realize (when they don't suffer from it). I have been learning to deal with anxiety for years and, in fact, am just starting to drive distances again after 10+ years (baby steps - to me a distance is 30 miles) The anxiety attacks I used to have would surface when I was driving distances especially on the highway, they terrified me and eventually I stopped driving on the highway altogether because the association was just to much to take and it was a sure bet that I would have a continuous full blown panic attack. That said, I am doing 'better' for the most part, I do get generalized anxiety now and then, ugh, but I identify it for what it is and really focus in on positive self-talk. And every now and then, the dreaded anxiety attack will start to surface - I tell myself to let it come in like a wave, don't resist it, it will recede, that I am inherently stronger and far wiser than the panic would like me to believe. I do believe that getting ahold of a good therapist to talk with can help tremendously, it helped me. Keep in mind: as long as you are afraid of the anxiety, it has the upper hand, as soon as you turn into it - and initially this will feel scary - you begin to reclaim your power, little by little you get stronger and the anxiety gets weaker, but as long as you hide and cower from it, it will act like a predator - when it says something, challenge it. I used to yell if I had to, lol, alone of course, to get the energy out and to start making myself bigger and the anxiety smaller. Please, do something for yourself and get a hold of a good therapist, it really can make all the difference in the world. And when the anxiety starts up - create mantras - this was one of mine, I memorized it and when the attack started, I started talking or thinking this: "God, help me let go of fear, doubt and confusion; the enemies of self-trust. Help me go forward in peace and confidence. Help me grow in trust for you and myself with each experience I have". When it starts at night, go int the living room and start doing jumping jacks r something physical - get that energy out! That is my last thing that I have found makes a nice difference, I exercise to get the energy out and it seems to make a positive difference. I wish you the very best, know that you are loved and that we may all be separate, but, we are all in this world together.

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answers from New York on

I suffered with panic disorder during a good portion of my college years, and I understand how awful it feels. There was a time I had a hard time even leaving the house. I haven't had a panic attack since 1994, so I can tell you that you absolutely CAN stop having them. What helped me was seeing a therapist who specialized in anxiety disorders.

Since you were better for a while though, I'd recommend 1st seeing your doctor and asking to have your iron level and thyroid checked. Both low iron and hypothyroidism can cause palpitations- I'm sure there are other things that can also. Maybe you are getting palpitations because of one of those conditions, and the palpitations are making you anxious. I've had palpitations in the past because of anemia, and once my iron levels went up, I stopped getting them. (Don't try taking iron w/o seeing a doctor 1st though, because if your iron level is already good, taking iron could cause you more problems). My doctor checks my blood every 3 months.

I also understand what it's like to have 3 boys under 7- is there any way you can get some extra help? My husband and I take turns going out by ourselves for a few hours on the week ends. He also puts the kids to bed for me once a week, so I can go shopping all by myself- and take my sweet time ;o)

Please feel free to PM me any time =o)

1 mom found this helpful
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