Looking for New Ideas to Get My Toddler to Sleep on Her Bed.

Try moving her to a toddler bed. My 3 year old was doing the same thing a while back. She was complaining that she didnt like her bed and she wanted to sleep in my bed. She had a toddler bed at the time. Every time she would wake up in the middle of the night I would just get up and take her back and lay her down and sing a song. Sometimes up to 3 times a night. So we got her a bigger bed, a twin bed. And now she sleeps great in her big girl bed. Maybe its something simple as that. But you should be consistant with what you do at night, either let her sleep with you or not. Its easy just to say get in bed with me but I NEVER got any good sleep like that. Hope that helps.

Hi Y.,
Maybe try putting her bed in your room for a while. That way she can see you. Then move it once she's used to it.
Good Luck,
Patty

There is nothing wrong with letting your child sleep with you, as long as all parties involved are happy about it. If you truly want her to stay in her own bed, sounds like you really need to do some investigative work to figure out what is so scary. Does she have a really bright nightlite? Also, for my family, I lay in their bed with them until they fall asleep, then sneak out and stay up for a few more hours on my own. You could give that a try. My daughter actually has a full size bed, to give me and her room to lay together in the beginning of the night. Climb in with her, comfort her until she falls asleep Hope something someone suggests will help you out. Oh yeah, and I also put a bed in our bedroom for a while for my oldest, one of those foamy fold out beds you can get at Walmart...called it her special bed. So when she was scared during the night, she could leave her bed, and climb in that one in our bedroom...and not disturb anyone. Both beds would be all made, ready for someone...it worked out great! Many nights, she would even just start out in that bed...her choice...and was okay with us.
K.

Wow! Reading this was like I thought I wrote it and forgot. I am having the same problem with my 4yr old daughter. She slept in her crib with NO problem. She then slept in her toddler bed with NO problem and then all of a sudden she had to be in bed with us. She says she's scared but doesn't or can't tell me of what. We all know she's not scared of anything, she just wants to sleep in our bed. Lately we have been putting a movie on until she falls a sleep. Our problem is she wakes up several times during the night because she's not right up under us. If you get any good advice, please share.

Mine was a little bit older - so I don't know how it compares. My daughter did NOT want to come out of her crib, and she was over 3 when we coaxed her out of it. After a week, she wanted back in, and we ended up putting sleep rails on her big girl bed. I think it made her feel safer?? Anyway, we got the I'm scared thing, and finally we just put a (Much too bright in my opinion) nightlight in her room, that she got to pick out - a princess lamp with a 15 watt bulb. I thought there was no way a sane person could sleep with that sort of a light on, but she did!

I left her door cracked and my door cracked so she knew I could hear her. At almost 4 she has decided as a "big" girl she can sleep with her light off (except her monitor that still has a nightlight on it!).

We too did tough love - back to your own bed, if you can't sleep, read a book - just don't get out of bed. Big ritual of choosing which 3 animals would be sharing the bed, so she was focused on creating her own environment that she wanted to sleep in.

We also put a nightstand against the bed, with a big box of books. I think she often fell asleep looking through them.

Y., it sounds like you've gotten some good, if mixed, advice. Comes down to a matter of figuring out what works best for YOU.

Starting at about 18 months my daughter HATED her crib(which, let's face it, is basically a decorative cage on wheels). So we moved her to a low, futon-style kiddie bed. At one point we even put her crib mattress inside a little tent playhouse and let her sleep in there, because she loved it. I'm not opposed to the "family bed" thing in principle, but I do think it can be difficult for anyone to get a good night's sleep that way. Probably depends how big your bed is, how light a sleeper you are, and whether you hope to have sex any time in the near future...it's all very individual.

If you are comfortable with her sleeping with you, there's nothing wrong with that. If it interrupts your sleep or you have other objections, try modifying the sleeping situation in her own room. Maybe she just wants out of the "cage"?

If you do not have a problem sleeping with her, stop fighting it! There is absolutely nothing wrong with it! Enjoy it because she will not be little forever. My oldest daughter, who is now 9 1/2, slept with us until she was 7 years old. Then, one night she decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed and she has been there ever since. Our country is one of the few countries that does not promote the family bed. It is kind of strange that we expect our children to be alone at what is the scariest time of day for them, when it is dark and quiet. My 6 year old has always slept in her own bed without any problem. I think people make too big a deal out of it. She may be coming to your bed because she is at a point in her life when she needs to feel close to you as much as she can. Do not feel like a failure because you give in. My daughter is a very independent, creative and loving child and her years of sleeping with me did nothing to affect the wonderful child she is today. You work full-time so maybe she really just wants to spend as much time as she can with you. The best advice my pediatrician ever gave me was you do what works for you and do not let anyone tell you that what works for you is wrong.

Supernanny method!!!! Put her back to bed without conversing with her. Watch last nights episode from Supernanny. I think you can download it from ABC.com.
Good luck!

Hi Y.:

I will share with you what I did with my four year old son. You need to develop a nighttime rountine with your daughter. Give her a nice warm bath, rub her down with lotion, put on her PJ's and read to her. Let her select the book that she wants to read. Once you are done kiss her good night and leave the room. If she cries that there are monsters under the bed or in her room, go back and make her kick the monsters out her room. You tell her that you are going to put them out of the house and open and close the front door so that she can hear that you have put them out. Say good night again and do not return. If she starts crying let her cry. It may last for an hour or 15 minutes. Whatever it is stay put. Do not go back into her room. If she gets out of the bed, just put her back in and leave the room. Do not talk to her. This may seem harsh, but trust me it works. It will take a few nights to get her used to the new rountine, but you are in charge and she will fall in line.

Stay strong. It is nice to have your bed to yourself.

I hope my advice is helpful. Good Luck.
B. H.

In April the College Park chapter of Mocha Moms is teaming up with the Laurel Moms Club to bring nationally renowned speaker Kim West author of “GOOD NIGHT, SLEEP TIGHT: The Sleep Lady’s Gentle Guide to Helping Your Child Go to Sleep, Stay Asleep and Wake Up Happy” with co-author Joanne Kenen . Published by CDS Books in January 2005
West has spoken to numerous parenting groups across the country about the importance of children’s sleep and how to gently teach your child to go to sleep and sleep through the night.
Kim West received her master’s degree in Clinical Social Work from Simmons College in Boston, Massachusetts. She lives with her family in Annapolis, Maryland .Visit her website at www.sleeplady.com
This event will take place on April 10, 2008 at 7pm at Our Savior Lutheran Church, 13611 Laurel Bowie Rd. (Rte 197), Laurel, MD 20707. The ticket price is $10.00 in advance and $15.00 at the door. For more information about this event please email ____@____.com

I think she's learned how to get away with it - she just has to keep crying to get what she wants. My daughter tried this and I have a linnen spray that I now use. (I have two boys, too.) We would do our usually routine - bath, pjs, read books in her bed, she picks out her stuffed andimals and flashlight to put in bed, and then we spray her pillows with sweet dreams spray. She says her prayers, gets kisses and hugs, and then we shut the lights out and shut the door. Anytime she came out, we put her back in. It's tough, but you have to be tough to break the habbit. Believe it or not, she should go to be just fine within a week, but you have to be firm and stick to it - no slipping up or you'll make it worse. Good luck!

I'm a mother of 8 children who has this to say.
WHY is a small child sleeping with a parent not a good thing? Only in this country do we try to shut children up alone in another room for sleeping. Most adults find comfort in sleeping with another person. This little child has to be away from you for at least 40 hours a week! She NEEDS the comfort of being close to you !!!!!
Going to daycare is very stressful to some children and she needs to have you close right now for reassurance that you are THERE.
Let her sleep with you until she feels better about sleeping in her own bed. You could make a pallet on the floor by the bed if you can't stand having her kick you during the night. I had one son who slept on the floor by my bed until he was almost 8 years old. And now that he is grown up and gone from home, I would give anything to have those precious days again. I promise that by the time she is older, she will not be sleeping with you. Just enjoy that time that you have with her NOW.

Taking her to bed with you is not bad as long as you are OK with it as well. My daughter slept with my while my husband was deployed (8 month till almost 2), when he came home I put her bed in our room (next to our bed). I just continued to tell her how great her room was and how big girls sleep in their own rooms, without pressuring her. Eventually she decided all on her own that she wanted to sleep in her own room. Now I do still have to lay with her in her bed till she falls asleep and she still does wake up most nights and need me to come lay with her or she will crawl in with us but I cherish those cuddle times with her. I figure that she will eventually grow out of it. Just do what works for you and makes you comfortable.

I had similar problems with my daughter. I started out by telling her if she was going to sleep in my room, she needed to sleep on a pallet I created for her on the floor. She was not allowed to sleep in my bed. As she got used to that, we worked on moving her to her own room. She still asks sometimes if she can sleep with us, but we do not let her and if she falls asleep in our bed before we go to sleep (a tactic she's tried to get to stay in our bed), we move her into her own bed.