Looking for Advice About Breastfeeding an Almost 4 Year Old

Updated on February 28, 2008
G.A. asks from Billerica, MA
34 answers

Hello, my son is going to be 4 years old in March and he is still an avid nurser. He nurses at least 3 times a night, in the morning, before bed and through out the day depending on how many activities we have planned. I am not neccesarily ready to completely stop, however, I can't take this much anymore, not only am I getting sore, but it is just too much for me at times. I try counting, and the ABC's, but he is still very much attached, at this point other than the fact that he is still getting milk, he is very emotionally attached as well. Please share your thoughts or advice, or personal experiences. Thank you. Also, we just moved into an apartment from a house, so i'm a little worried about letting him scream and cry at night if i was to just put my foot down, we have neighbors with children.

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S.Q.

answers from Boston on

Yikes! I thought sticking it out for a year was difficult! You are a saint. You are in charge. Sounds like its time to stop. Also, maybe a little socially awkward... he is getting to the point where he will start to form friendships, etc. You are his mom and know what's best, from the outside looking in... it is time. It is not something he needs at this point. Good luck.

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K.G.

answers from Burlington on

My sister changed back to her regular bra (he could not unflap her anymore), and just told her son it was over. There were some tears, but it was short lived. Hang tough.

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S.D.

answers from Boston on

Hi, wow ...almost 4 years of breastfeeding! You are an amazing mom! The longest I lastest was 1 year and 8 months..and I thought that was a long time. One morning, my daughter came over for her feeding and I decided this was the day I would stop, so I said to her, "Mommy is empty." She looked at me for a minute, then said "oh", and walked away. We started using sippy cups & that was that!I was amazed and relieved and wondered why I didn't say that sooner!! (She turns 4 next week.)Good luck! Ps. my other daughter is 5 and in kindergarten..where do you live? S.

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A.K.

answers from Boston on

I have also heard people mention the "mama's empty" solution as a good one! I breastfed my son until he was 19 months at which point I was pregnant and in bed all day vomiting. There was no food OR water going into me and I couldn't handle nirsing on top of that. It was sad, but Daddy took him for a snack or a drink or out of the house and after one day, it was over. Amazing. He didn't even want it when he woke at night. It wasn't thirst waking him, he just wanted his mommy, so I'd rock him for a bit or hold him and that was that. He never expressed interest again (mind you, he was NOT a good eater, so it's not as though he was stuffed on food or anything) until after my daughter was born. Luckily, a nurse warned me of this and I did what she said. He wanted to nurse like the baby, so I made him wait for his turn. When the time came, I allowed him to "nurse". This felt so silly and strange after he'd been weaned for so long, but he didn't even latch on, just did a little pretend nurse, said "all done, baby's turn" and that was that. I wish you good luck and recommend that you offer to hold your child in liu of nursing. He's definitely old enough to understand your explanations.

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E.H.

answers from Springfield on

Hi Gabrielle,
Please don't listen to people are putting you down for this in other responses. The world wide average for weaning is four years old. Breastmilk for an almost four year old still has all of the same health benefits that it did when he or she was a newborn. My nurser sounds just like yours. He was four in January. I do not allow him to nurse in certain places. I tell him before going to these places, that we only nurse in certain places and we will not be nursing at "name of place". I also tell him regularly, I'm not going to nurse right now. Then I offer him something else to eat. You can try cuddling or reading instead sometimes. Mine also nurses at lease once during the night. I started to tell him that I need sleep and that I will only nurse him a little bit. Usually a two to five minute session will suffice. Then I say that's enough for tonight. Sometimes he cries. I tell him that he has had enough and that it is time to sleep. Then he usually goes back to sleep right away. Sometimes I have calmly said, If you won't let me sleep then I won't want to nurse you at night at all anymore. That usually quiets him immediately. I hope some of this helps. Good luck!
E.

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P.S.

answers from New London on

I think you are now a habit and a comfort source at almost 4 your son is capable of opening tne frige and pouring some milk. How long did you nurse your daughter? Start with a new sippy cup and cut the night time feedings. He should be able to sleep through the night at his age. Try the laleche league for weaning advice and good luck to you both.

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X.D.

answers from Boston on

Hey.... Happy to hear about other almost 4 year olds who want to nurse as well! Here's my advice.... Put your foot down about nursing at night. It's exhausting and not good for either one of you at this point. You both need to rest. Tell your child that it's no problem first thing in the morning (or any other time that's o.k. with you), but work on the night thing first. Obviously, the move into an apartment has probably made the little bugger a bit nervous and feeling insecure. Reassure as much as you can - even offer to sleep in his room (I've slept on the floor for more than one night). Keep on reassuring and loving him but keep a backbone about this. This worked for my daughter(3.5 yrs). "Milkies" is strictly a before bed thing now (and sometimes it works out to just a snuggle now). I feel for you because this is so hard for you - physically and emotionally, but please believe me that your child will be o.k. as long as you're meeting his needs in other ways. Concentrate on only one issue at a time and try to keep the stress off of yourself (in other words, pick a time to do this when no other big events are planned). Good-luck. You sound like a great Mom and I know you can do it!

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R.C.

answers from Boston on

My older two children were like this. I nursed each of them until they were four years old, at which point I couldn't take any more and initiated weaning. They were still very attached and could have gone on indefinitely. When my daughter was born my son was 3.5 and he wanted to nurse even more than the baby, which quickly drove me out of my mind. I finally just told him that he could nurse once per day, and stuck to that schedule for about 6 months. I think it helped for us both to know that there was a firm limit. I followed the same method for cutting back with my daughter. For each of them I gave about a 2-4 week notice before weaning completely. Timed it to coincide with an event - one of them on their birthday and the other on a family trip. My daughter, especially talked about nursing for about a year afterward - how she missed it and wished she still could. I was sympathetic, but resisted going back.

It sounds like what you need to do is to establish a new boundary that works for you now. It's your body. If your child doesn't show any sign of slowing down, then you'll have to make the decision unilaterally, and your child will adapt.

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D.K.

answers from Boston on

Your neighbors will deal. I left a sippy cup w/water next to the bed so when my daughter woke she could get a drink(it might just be thirst that wakes him up.) We shared a bed w/my daughter so I had to sleep on the couch for a week, and the first couple of nights were tough, but she learned fast that the sippy cup was there and pretty soon we were all sleeping through the night.

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C.H.

answers from Boston on

Good for you for being so tuned into your son and nursing as long as you have! My son nursed until he was 3 1/2 and is still very mama-attached at just past 4 yrs. We 'night-weaned' at 2 1/2. I just couldn't do it anymore-I started resenting him and the amazing connection of breastfeeding began to feel like a battle. So I told him we wouldn't be nursing at night anymore, but I would still hold him and be there with him. I wore very covered up heavy sweatshirts to bed (we still had a family bed at that point), and had sippy cups of water available as a substitute. He was very sad the first few nights (it was hard-I got less sleep at first than I had been getting), but was able to settle in with cuddles and stories (his second favorite thing). His daytime nursing increased a bit, too, but only temporarily. In a few nights, he had let go of nursing at night, although he continues to wake in the night even now, climbing into bed with me to be held, which I welcome. That bit of night-weaning was the only weaning we did...he completely self weaned by 3 1/2. It was very gradual and loving and easy. But he still needs lots of 'mama-time'. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. (RE: Neighbors, if you decide to night-wean, perhaps let them know that you're changing the night-time routine and that they may hear your son crying. Aplogize in advance for any disrubtion and then don't worry about it :)) Please feel free to contact me directly if you'd like more details.

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L.F.

answers from Hartford on

I am also still letting my 3 year old nurse. I get some negative comments from others about it but since she is my last, I want her to stop when SHE is ready. She was nursing constantly through the day and wanted to nurse all the the time and everywhere we went. I have Multiple Sclerosis and in August, I had a pretty bad flare up and I felt pretty horrible. I told my daughter at that time that she could only have "Mommy milk" at sleepy time. I thought she would struggle with this but she accepted that right away and only looks to nurse when she is tired and needing to go to sleep. Now my days are free of her climbing all over me to nurse but we both still get the special time together right before sleep. Good Luck.

L.

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R.B.

answers from Boston on

The key to all of this lies in your statement that you're not necessarily ready to stop. At four years old, your son does not need to breastfeed any longer. I am not sure how you will gracefully stop without causing havoc in the apartment complex in which you live. Perhaps you should talk to your son to determine something else that brings him comfort. At four, he is able to talk and provide you with that information. All day kindergarten is right around the corner. good luck.

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L.G.

answers from Boston on

CONGRATULATIONS on lasting so long! I think it is great! In this society everyone makes extended breastfeeding into such a horrible thing - which it is NOT. Most people do not know that there are many health benefits for both you and your child to continue breastfeeding - which is why it is so normal in other countries. It is sad that everyone is so quick to rush women into weaning.

You really need to follow your heart on this one. I have a feeling I will be in the same situation as you - my daughter is only 19 months but still nurses ALL the time. I know your situation is a bit different because you are getting sore. I wish I could offer some advice but I do wish you all the best. And I think it is absolutely AWESOME that you have lasted this long.

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G.M.

answers from Boston on

Yay for you! You've been such a great caring Mama to follow your child's cues about nursing. My older son is three and a half, my younger son is two. Both are night-weaned. What worked for us was to really engage my husband in the night-weaning process (I was pregnant with #2 and felt I really needed to get some sleep). Dad would have a cup or bottle of water ready and when our son woke up and wanted to nurse, he gently turned him to Dad (we co-slept until night-weaned) and offered a drink. Often, that was enough to ease him back to sleep, but if he really insisted on nursing, I explained that I needed to sleep while it was dark in order to make more Mama-milk for him. Of course if our son got really upset I'd nurse him.

Also, about this time, we moved a crib mattress into our room on the floor next to Dad's side of the bed. After our son was asleep, we moved him to his own space. Eventually, we moved the mattress into his own room and made a big deal about having a big boy bed to use. I think that having a little space from me also deterred him from night nursing.

It took a while, but eventually both boys got it. Of course, there are times, like when they are sick, that we still nurse at night, and we only have about every other night without someone snuggling with us in bed, but in a very short time we'll be missing those days!

Good luck and keep up the great work!

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Gabrielle

I am fond believer of nursing and all the benefits that go with it. One which is weaning. Breast feeding becomes a comfort, soothing method for child. It is our responsibility as parents to teach our children how to do so on their own. All this wont happen until you are really ready to do so. You have to be the stong and consistent one, and if you are your child will learn from that. The beauty of being 3 1/2 is you can have a conversation with them and tell them what the plan is, and how you are going to do it, and what the reward will be in the end. As long as you are confident in the process they will be too.

One other thing to keep in mind if your child is nursing throughout the night that milk that sits on their teeth is awful for the health of their teeth. My friend just went through the similar process of weaning her 3 year old and she discovered that her child had two cavities that had to be drilled and filled. I would not wish that on anyone. My child wanted to bottle feed at night and my pedi told me to rinse my childs mouth everytime he fed during the night. (YA OK) I did my best, until I got him off night feedings.
Good luck

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S.S.

answers from Hartford on

Kudos for nursing your son so long and giving him such a gift! I also breastfed my three, the first two for 14 months and my son (the baby) for almost three years, funny how the boys are more invested in hanging on to that boob! I am a huge advocate of nursing and would never tell anyone to stop before they were ready, however you sound ready! The trick is to truly decide for yourself. You are the Mom, the adult, the one in charge. You said you "aren't necessarily, ready to completely stop". It will not work if you are undecided! Don't beat yourself up if you want to continue, but don't torture yourself if you want to stop. He doesn't need the nutrition obviously so you must be concerned about his emotional attachment, I was too!
I decided to stop pretty cold turkey because the night feedings are difficult to stop if you are saying nursing is still okay. You are sore because he is using you as a pacifier to sleep (been there!). At four you can actually have a converstion about it, that doesn't mean you are asking for your son's permission. Remember if you are having the conversation YOU have already decided. MY Anthony certainly didn't like it but I reassured him that I still loved him and would hug him whenever he needed.
It was actually a lot smoother than I thought it would be.
He always had held my hair when he nursed and he kind of used that as a substitute, still whenever he is tired or has trouble falling asleep he will twirl my hair (ouch but its better than sore nipples or a nursing 16 year old!)
You have nursed far longer than most and it isn't usually a great character builder to give a child something they want because we don't want to hear the screaming. Truly the first day is the most anoying and the protest lasts about 3 days which seems to be the magic # for most child issues (sleeping alone, potty training, lossing pacifier etc.) I'll say it again, It only works once you have decided and committed (along with your family, you'll need support!) You'll know when your ready, wait til you are and stay firm. Your son will surprise you at what a big boy he truly can be. Some times us moms just aren't ready for that! Good Luck....Wait til you're ready and you mean it. S.

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P.M.

answers from Boston on

It sounds like you want to stop breast feeding but it's a security issue for your son. Is there another way you can sooth him and give him the security he needs? I can understand the tiredness of nursing especially someone his age who should be sleeping threw the night. My daughter is 6 weeks and doesn't latch good so I pump breast milk for but if I let her she'ld hang out on my breast all day. Have you tried cutting back the times he nurses and talked to him about not needing to nurse because he can eat and drink like other kids his age? I wish I could offer you some good advice but I am impressed that you nursed him so long so many peple give it up before a year because it's easier to bottle feed.
What does the doctor say about weaning?
Good luck.

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K.A.

answers from Boston on

Have you tried taking a vacation? On your own - no husband, no kids? Or, if you have an elder willing to take him and his sister for a weekend, you might take off with your partner for a long-earned break from 24/7 parenting.

The move may figure into his needs right now, but (at the risk of sounding insensitive) you have a clear right to set the boundaries on your own body if you are getting sore and are exhausted from sleep interrruptions. Please keep in mind - at this child's age it is okay and essential to think of yourself here. If you have a coparent, I'd be willing to believe that person will likely be more than happy to help provide loving hugs and support for your son as you reclaim your body. This sort of nursing demand by a nearly four-year-old might be interrupting partnered life (and he/she may not have dared say so because that book says you know).

Your body, your call. Good luck.

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L.L.

answers from Burlington on

Good for you!!!! I breastfed my daughter until she was almost 3, at which time she weaned on her own.
i have heard that designating a special chair for nursing during the day works, especially if it is in a room away from the action, where he might not want to stop playing to go to.
as far as night weaning, we tried 2 things: the 1st was me rubbing her back and singing to her (she slept on a mattress by our bed) actually worked quite well. the 2nd thing we tried was me sleeping on the other side of the bed, and my husband comforting. this didn't work as well for us b/c she wanted me, but friends have had success w/ this!
Good luck
L.

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V.S.

answers from Boston on

Hi Gabrielle,

My first response to your letter was that, personally, I think you are way beyond what is reasonable as far as the time to breastfeed your child. Not only does he really not benefit nutritionally anymore from your milk, he needs to be able to live the life of a 4 year old, not a breatfeeding baby. You write that your are "not neccesarily ready to completely stop" breastfeeding, which to me is a strong sign that you have not only been breastfeeding your son for this long for his own good, but also a lot for yourself. It is really time for you to let go and let him be a 4 year old and if that means that it will take screaming and crying from your son, that is the way it has to be until he finds other ways to meet his "cuddle" needs. You can introduce new bedtime routines like reading a book right before tucking him in. As far as feeding him during the night, that should not be done at all at his age. He (and you) needs a solid night's sleep EVERY night without breaks. This might take up to two weeks before he accepts it, but you have to explain to him that your breast is no longer an option and he will accept it eventually. Forget what the neighbors say, it will only be for a short period of time, and if they complain you can simply explain what is going on. If they have kids themselves, they will definately understand.

regards,
V.

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M.F.

answers from Pittsfield on

sounds like its time to wean him. start slowly refusing only one feeding. like the first one in the morning. the following week refuse to feed during the daytime. buy some special cups with his favorite charactors on them for him to use stressing they are for him ONLY. the night feedings will be the hardest to get through but if he's in his own room and he has a special toy in his bed, just tell him he needs to stay in bed while its dark and keep his toy company. hope this helps

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K.D.

answers from New London on

I think he is old enough for you to tell him that you will not nurse him at night anymore. He will be upset my son was too(18 months). Try changing the nightmime routine as you prepare him for the switch-it is not going to go smoothly at first, but I would bet in 3 nights he won't look to nurse-he still may wake up looking for comfort but one thing at a time.

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D.M.

answers from Boston on

I breastfed my son, who is almost 3, course I weane him at 19 mos, but I would say, it would be mean to stop cold turkey so don't do that... I would say start by stopping some of the during the day nursings... nurse him in the morning like you do, then stop during the day, and nurse him at night.. then after a few weeks, stop nursing in the morning, then a few weeks after that, or when you are ready limit nursing during the night. that is how I did it. the last thing I dropped was nursing before bed.

don't worry about your neighbors though, but I know what you mean, I didn't let my son scream either, but only because I didn't want to..

you have to keep in mind that nursing that much at night can hurt his teeth, it can give him cavities.

my son is very attached to me, and stopping nursing won't stop that, only time will. enjoy that part.

good luck!

D.

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P.R.

answers from Boston on

It is more of a habit than anything else now. If I would even just allow my almost 4 year old son in my room and cuddle at night I am sure he would wake up several times a night to do so. I would quit cold turkey, he is able to understand now. He is not going to like it but just say that you are too sore to continue. My son is very attached to me, loves to cuddle and hug. I would give your son plenty of opportunities to so. As far as letting him cry at night that is what is going to have to happen. He needs to learn and will learn. It will probably only take a few days. He is old enough where he shouldn't be waking up during the night.

Good luck!

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S.T.

answers from Providence on

I just weaned my 20-month old son, because I am pregnant and my breasts were sooo sore. He was only breastfeeding at night and once in awhile for comfort. I thought it was going to be so hard,especially because we co-sleep and I was so tired because of the pregnancy I thought I wouldn't get any sleep for a week. It wasn't as hard as I thought, I had a bottle ready(he had never used a bottle before) if he was still unhappy I took him downstairs and watched a favorite video with him until he started nodding off(yes, at 3 in the morning). It took a couple of nights of this, but then he was fine! I used to nurse him to sleep so Dad started putting him to bed and lying with him until he dozed off. I feel he and his Dad have really bonded because of this. He also woke up 2 or 3 times a night and now is sleeping through the night for the first time, and now because of the pregnancy I can't sleep..not fair. Its so hard to be strong and not give in but believe me it is worth it in the end. I know people who have gone away for the weekend to let their milk dry up, it sounds cruel but it really is an out-of-sight , out-of-mind type of thing, they don't miss the breast if it isn't around and tempting them. This might be harder for you than him! Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Hartford on

It's so nice to find another extended breastfeeding mom and tot pair! I just posted regarding this topic--unfortunately, I don't have advice for our situation, as I too am in a similar situation. It's just nice to know that there are other moms out there with similar situations. My toddler is 20 mo. and is nursing--I would not have any desire to wean her at this time if it weren't for my second child arriving in about 5 months. I too feel tired at times (sore from the pregnancy and a bit less milk..does not discourage her!) and I also am a bit mixed--I feel "how long is this going to last?" and at the same time I don't want to stop either...but feel it might be necessary for my sanity with new baby. I know, like you, at times (like in the middle of the night) her long feedings are a bit much for me too...I felt guilty but my husband and I filled a bottle with milk the other night and she actually took it (hasn't done it again) and fell back asleep and I was so relieved. During the day sometimes the distractions like you do with your son works for us, but sometimes she just insists on nursing...so I then let her fulfill this need to keep our sanity. We are both fortunate to have an extended breastfeeding experience but I think that as soon as we aren't enjoying it as much, we might need to "gradually wean with love" as "La Leche" puts it...but...how? I am not sure how to do this--my daughter took to potty training so early and easy...I only wish the gradual breastfeeding weaning wasn't such a challenge. Keep me posted. I will do the same.

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M.F.

answers from New London on

Hi Gabrielle,

I can't say that I've made my mind up completely on how I feel about breast-feeding a child who has teeth, and can eat regular food. I don’t know how long I would have breast fed, if I could have. I wasn't afforded the luxury of breast feeding. I tried with all three of my children, my first didn't get any at all due to my falling ill while I was preg, and taking medicine that wouldn't allow me to breast feed. With my second, she was born ill, and had to be on machines, and fed from a bottle, so I dried up. Pumping just wasn't enough. With my third, I was never able to produce enough for (I have massive kids), and I was forced to breast feed and formula feed at the same time (my doc recommended). I ultimately dried up after a few months. I consulted with lactation nurses, but to no avail. My youngest is 4 1/2 mo old, and was bottle (formula) and breast fed until her 3rd month. She's now only on bottle (formula). My older two, I gave them bottle (formula) until 12 months. Right after they turned 1, and with approval from their pediatrician, I switched them to sippy cups, cold turkey, from one day to the next. As long as they had their milk, (I warmed it at first) and they had a sippy cup right before going to sleep at night, they transitioned without any problems at all. Maybe you just have to find some sort of transition for him (and yourself). Possibly begin transitioning for you both by still holding him during some of the times while he drinks his “sippy cup” milk? Remember too, that regular vitamin D milk is the doc recommended for growing children (unless they can’t drink milk). Ask your pediatrician, I’m sure they can give great help too. I also agree with one of the moms who said not to worry about your neighbors if your son complains loudly. You can initiate a warning to them, before they complain, by knocking on their doors and giving them a heads up about what you’re going to be trying to do, and apologizing for the noise your son is certain to make. I’m sure they’ll appreciate the heads up, you will avoid the grumpy complaints, and if they’re moms too, who knows, you might find some more advice. :o)

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J.K.

answers from Boston on

It sounds like you don't want to let go.... so he can sense that and is playing on it. I have 3 children, and my youngest is almost 6 months, so I understand about getting up in the middle of the night, but children your sons age need to sleep through the night. Does he demand it or do you ask him? I think if you start cutting out the day time ones first then slowly but surely the night time ones will end, and it will take awhile so it won't feel like you are just stopping. Don't worry about the other family in your apt building, it won't last forever and it is what is best for you and your son. Good luck and be strong because they know when they are winning something.

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K.V.

answers from Boston on

Because you are getting sore, you could always tell him that you have a boo-boo and cannot feed him from "there" today. He should respond with compassion, like most children when mommy has a boo-boo. Offer to hold him close, skin to skin even with a sippy with momma milk or whatever works. Attachment to mom is not a bad thing and the push for independence is being pushed far to young in my opinion. Children NEED their momma for security, love and closeness!

When my parents lived in Turkey, the women nurse their children up to 8 yrs old and it is a very natural thing. This country is a bit anti-nursing and then if it is accepted, it is only X-amount of time.

Do what you feel is best for your situation.

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B.R.

answers from Springfield on

I, too, am still nursing my almost 4 yr. old daughter. Some days it drives me crazy but I know she's my last so I stick with it. (She has 2 older brothers who both nursed til they were over 3.) I still love the closeness we share and although I hug and cuddle with the boys it's not the same as that nursing closeness. At the times when she asks for "na-nas" and I just don't want to or am in the middle of something I try to redirect her. Sometimes she moves on and sometimes she persists. At those times she obviously really needs to reconnect with me and I'll sit and nurse her for a few minutes and then try and get her involved with something else. I'm not inclined to let her cry it out. I just don't feel good about denying her something she feels so passionate about and that I've given to her freely for so long. I will count ("I'll count to 5 and then you roll over and go to sleep") and that's what gets us through the night. I know that eventually she'll be off doing other things and she'll outgrow her "na-nas" but until then I just want to make it an experience neither one of us will look back on and have bad feelings about.

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D.B.

answers from Richmond on

It's so cool to see another extended nurser here! My daughter (now 14) self-weaned a week before turning 5, my son (now almost 6) self-weaned just after turning 5. My son was also nursing quite a bit through the night & it is hard. Do you co-sleep? It makes a huge difference in how much sleep you're getting if you do. At this point, I'd try to re-direct him to cuddle with you. Tell him he can nurse in the morning that mommy is tired/sore/whatever.

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L.S.

answers from Burlington on

Whenever I want to stop a behavior, I always try to engage my daughter in the plan. I give her a rationale for why a behavior has to stop (usually that big girls don't do this for much longer :) or something to that effect). Then we arrange a plan together. We count days and mark them off for example, or agree that we will stop after some event. You guys could decide how many more days during the day, how many more days in the morning and how many more days at night. Usually I try to have something exciting as an alternative (eg. a big girl bed covered with beautiful bedding when I was getting her out of the crib). In your case, I'm not sure what would be a great reward for your son, but with your knowledge of him, I'm sure you can come up with something. Maybe he could have an ice-cream or something instead of milk for the first days of no milk (but it would have to be clear that this is just to help the transition and will not go on forever). Good luck...I know how hard this can be (I nursed for 21/2 years and the weaning went really well but I was quite worried about it).

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S.T.

answers from Boston on

Gabrielle,
Have you consulted your pediatrician on this matter?? I think that at almost 4 years old your son would be able to comprehend the fact that this needs to stop for many reasons. Have you tried letting him sleep with a shirt that you've worn, I've heard that that can be comforting since it has your "smell". Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Boston on

Do you want to stop or just cut down? For stopping a cousin of mine who nursed long like you talked together with her child and set a date to stop nursing. Then they had a big party with cake and celebrated entering a new stage. From what I understand it went well. Her daughter still has fond memories of nursing, but the end was not terribly traumatic.

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