Little Girl (5) Doesn't Want to Wear Dresses

Updated on April 03, 2012
D.M. asks from Littleton, CO
26 answers

My 5 year old refuses to wear dresses. I truthfully don't care. She isn't going to wear a dress on Easter. Some people in my family think this is one time I should make her. I disagree. Thoughts?

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So What Happened?

Thanks for your humor and great support! Happy Easter - and you are right - it is so NOT about what we wear!!!!

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C.N.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I hated dresses as a kid too. There is no reason that a child should be forced to wear a dress just because she is female.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

i agree with you. I hated dresses. I still remember my mother forcing me into those horrid things on Easter.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.P.

answers from Portland on

I agree with you. My daughter didn't like to wear dresses and I always found cute sets with pants for special occasions.

3 moms found this helpful

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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

Other People's Issues.

You are a grown woman AND a mother - your child needs you to be consistent.

Leave OPI alone - they can go procreate their own daughter and make her wear dresses all they like. This one belongs to you, and is your choice.

11 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

I didn't read everyones answers but let me lend you support. You don't care, your daughter doesn't want to...... seems simple to me. Even if you did care I would say to let it go. This is not a battle worth fighting. Besides, your daughter is entitled to her own style, isn't she?

8 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

I am with you. I HATED wearing dresses. Find her a cute outfit, one that's not a dress, and let her enjoy Easter.
L.

8 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Heck no do not make her.. We all have our own wants and likes.. How about making all of the family wear high heels, hats and gloves for Easter service.? That is the proper traditional attire.
Girls and Women are no longer expected to dress a certain way. that was back in the 50's..

She is old enough to make this request and for it to be honored. She needs to know her voice is heard and honored.

I bet she will be very cute.

8 moms found this helpful
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S.L.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think you are right to not make her. Why should she have to wear a dress?

7 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Chicago on

I am so done with living up to everyone else's expectations on what my family should/should not do. Seriously - make her wear a dress on Easter- why? So she can be uncomfortable and complain all day? I have a really cute hand-me-down suit - Gray with a yellow tie and plaid gray/blue/yellow shirt - my son is so NOT going to wear it. I'm not going to wrestle him into it and ruin the rest of the day.

Hallelujia - Christ is Risen (it's not about us and our dresses at all)

6 moms found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Not worth the fight.

5 moms found this helpful
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C.W.

answers from Santa Barbara on

How sad that your family feels you should "make her". Glad you disagree, you can still find a very cute outfit and all will be well!

5 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

I don't care how my family feels about what my kids wear. I would put her in something adorable pants, pretty top, dress shoes and a big ole bow inher hair. I'm sure you know the more you push her, the more she will resist. Your family will just have to deal with it.

4 moms found this helpful
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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

For goodness sakes, do not make her wear a dress if she doesn't want to do so. What's the point in making her and everyone else miserable?

3 moms found this helpful
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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

I have the opposite problem. I can hardly get my 5 year old to wear pants. We've compromised by having her wear leggins or tights under dresses. She's even worn jeans under dresses. The main reason I did this is because it was winter and it's cold. I don't care one way or another. She now picks her own clothes to wear and gets herself dressed. Some of the outfits she picks out are pretty out there but who cares right? I wouldn't push it if I were you and who cares what anyone thinks. There are worse things your daughter could refuse to do.

3 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I wouldn't make her wear one. There are plenty of other options out there. My daughter (also 5) loves wearing them and my step daughter (13) refuses.

3 moms found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from New York on

I disagree with your family too. You should not force her. She should wear something appropriate - if you're going to church, I wouldn't allow jeans. I do feel that kids should be allowed their own style and not every girl loves dresses. I'm sure you can put together a pretty Easter outfit that doesn't involve a dress.

3 moms found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Denver on

Mine was the same. I told her she had to wear a dress if it was the funeral of an immediate family member (grandfather, etc.) or someone's wedding. On those occasions, it's not about her, it's about showing respect for the person being mourned or celebrated. She agreed to that.

My other thought is: tell the people who want her to wear a dress to feel perfectly free to purchase the frilly dress of their choice complete with lacy socks and shiny pink shoes, then come over and dress her in it (while I leave the house for Starbucks). Tell them to enjoy the experience. That will shut them up forever and probably send them to therapy. And you will not have to have this discussion again. ; )

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

I never made my girls wear dresses but usually on Easter and Christmas they wanted to.

I don't understand why it is such a big deal to some that girls wear dresses.

Oh, the dresses they did wear were not frilly foo foo dresses. They were knit dresses with matching bottoms so they could continue to climb trees, flip and basically act in an unladylike manner. :)

3 moms found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister was not a dress girl. She did wear one occasionally (like Easter) but frankly she was a lot happier in slacks and a nice blouse. I nearly fell over when she bought a dress for a holiday party a few years ago. I hadn't seen her in a dress since her wedding.

I'd get her what she likes and not sweat it. Frankly, in poking around, I might get a cute top from Penny's for DD to wear after church with a pair of shorts (they have some for $5 that I really like). I don't leave DD in the dress all day. She'll get dirty.

3 moms found this helpful
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A.H.

answers from Omaha on

Just yesterday I was trying to get my daughter (3 in two weeks) to wear THE CUTEST shirt and matching skirt to church. She refused. I tried to talk her into it, but it just wasn't going to happen...so she wore a shirt with leggings instead.
I would love it if she wore one of those cute, frilly dresses for Easter with a hat too, but probably won't happen, so I don't fight it. I figure there are so many cute capris and other pants outfits out there that can look just as dressy and frilly, so we will probably go that route. It is a very rare occasion that I even wear a dress or skirt anymore, so I don't push the issue with my daughter.
HTH,
A.

2 moms found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughters go crazy for dresses and it drives me bonkers. Of course, I ended up with four girls because I grew up a tom-boy. LOL... They play rough and that and dresses don't mix. My 3 year old has had a dozen or more too many fits if I want her to wear something other than a dress. If we go out, she'll see a girl in a dress and says "HER M. always lets her wear dresses, and you don't!". Dresses just aren't always practical! And I always stand my ground! I do let her wear dresses, just not every day!

Now, "making" someone wear a dress? I would not do that, I don't think. I'm trying to find a good example of when you should, and a flower girl is the one time I'd think one should be "forced". (that is, if the bride wants her flower girl to wear a dress).

There are plenty of adorable girl clothes that are not dresses. Would she be into a cute gingham overall set? :)

2 moms found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from Houston on

Why borrow trouble? There are many ways for little girls to dress up pretty and appropriate for church services (assuming that's where she would wear an Easter dress/outfit) without wearing a dress. Enjoy finding an outfit that she will love and enjoy wearing.

Spoken by a girlie girl who would LOVE to have a daughter/granddaughter to dress up in dresses.

P.S. There may be an occasion in the future where a dress will be required (i.e. first communion, to be in a wedding, etc). You can insist that she wear a dress then.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Don't make her wear something she does not like, there are plenty of cute non-dress easter looks.

2 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

I haven't read other responses...but this is not a battle I would like to take on with anyone. Looking at both sides, I wouldn't want to battle with my daughter or my family. But in this case it would be no dress if that is what she wants! Good Luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

Like others have said, this is not a hill worth dying on. My daughter is just the opposite - always wants dresses and has about 5 or 6 of them that she keeps wearing over and over! At least they are appropriate for playing and she can wear leggings with them and they are easily washed. I would love to see her wear something else for a change, or at least not put up a big fight about picking something different (she flat-out refuses to wear jeans!), but it's really pointless - it will achieve nothing but her being unhappy and miserable and feeling like she doesn't get a say in what she wears. Next year she might be going to private school for kindergarten and that means uniforms - not sure if this will end the clothing battles, or if she will fight me on the uniform too, but I figure if she is not hooked on jeans now, maybe it won't be so bad. Save your strength for more important things - including the clothing battles you might have when she is a teen!

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J.S.

answers from Tampa on

Let her wear whatever she is most comfortable in, because in the big spectrum of life, THIS is a battle that you can allow her to win. I have 3 daughters, 2 of them are older, 21 and 18. When the 21 yr old was little, she was always dressed in dresses and skirts, and loved them. She never strayed from that style, and loves to dress up still to this day. My 18 yr old LOVED to wear anything dressy and "girly" or lacy when she was very young. When she was around 5 or 6 years old, that all stopped. She refused to wear anything other than pants or shorts, and capris, but no dresses or skirts. Nothing pink, purple, or even in any "girly" colors. Her favorite colors were blue and green. Fast forward to about 8th grade, and something changed with her. She started to have more interest in wearing a few skirts and the occasional dress, and now she is my totally dressy girl, who has a collection of formal gowns. LOL! I never would have imagined that she would go so far into the dressy spectrum. She wears dresses almost daily, because we live where its hot, and she prefers to wear dresses over shorts. I laugh when I think back to when I was buying her clothing from the boys section in the Gap. LOL! To me, it really isn't about what they are wearing. Easter is a time to enjoy your family and to remember why we actually celebrate the holiday in the first place. I really don't see what harm or difference your daughters clothiing choices will make to your day. I say let her be happy and comfortable, and if your relatives have an issue with her clothing choices, well, THEY aren't the parent. :) Happy Easter!

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