Life After Miscarriage

Updated on July 18, 2008
A.H. asks from Poplar Grove, IL
11 answers

My husband and I have been trying for another baby for about 9 months now. We found out I was pregnant at the end of May and then I lost the baby on June 5th when I was 5 weeks. At this point, I am almost 1 week late for my period. I took a pregnancy test a few days ago and it was negative, as I had suspected. I don't have any signs of my period coming yet. Just wondering if any other moms have been through this. How long did it take for your period to return after a miscarriage? Is this normal? We were so sad to lose the baby after finally getting pregnant, and now we're just playing the waiting game for my system to return to normal so that we can try again. We're both trying hard not to get frustrated. I welcome any of your similar situations or advice...

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So What Happened?

I just want to say thank you for all of the wonderful support I have received. You guys are great! I appreciated you all sharing your personal experiences and your advice. I wish that there weren't so many of us who have been through this. I actually did not have a d&c. I had a natural miscarriage. I spoke with the nurse yesterday and she explained to me how they knew that I didn't need the d&c. She also told me that based on my experience she thought that I would probably have my period by the end of the month. This gives me some hope that we might be able to move on soon. I think I've just felt really stuck... Thanks, again.

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N.S.

answers from Chicago on

I am so sorry - many of us have been through this and just stay strong. It is not an easy time for anyone. I have been there too. You need to stay comforted and strong in the fact that you already have a child. Many do not ever get that chance. That is what kept me strong. Good luck! xoxo N.

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K.

answers from Chicago on

I am very sorry for your loss :(

I haven't had a chance to read the other responses so I may just be repeating some things!

I have had four miscarriages and each one is just like a knife through your heart. After each one it took several months to get my cycle back on track. All of mine were natural and did not require any medical intervention....unless you count the breakdown I had after my last one. Just make sure you get your feelings out when you need to and find a good support system.

I want to say my period went to normal about 2-4 months afterwards.

I wish you the best!

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E.W.

answers from Chicago on

A., let me start by telling you how sorry I am that you lost the baby. I know EXACTLY what you're going through. Last year my husband and I actively tried and tried, with no avail. We finally made some life altering decisions and decided to wait a little bit, to find out we got pregnant when we weren't trying. I lost that baby a week after we found out I was pregnant - I went through bouts of depression. It was very difficult on us.
Let me ask, did you miscarry naturally or did you have a DNC? I opted for the DNC and my period came back on schedule the first time. I have a condition where I don't ovulate unless I take medication to make it happen, so after the first cycle it started to take longer and longer for the period to come. (that was hard because I kept thinking maybe we were pregnant again, but we weren't)
Second, did your doctor say anything to you about not "trying" for about 6 weeks? My doctor told me that whether you have the DNC or natural miscarriage you should wait about 6 weeks for your uterus to heal (also you'll avoid infections that way as well).
Last, my advice is, if you don't get your period in another week, take another test. If it's negative, call your dotor and let them know - they can give you medicine to take to make your period come and it is supposed to help put you back on track a well.
If you need anything else, let me know.

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K.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hi A.,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is a hard time to go through. I went through a similar situation as well. I had a beautiful daughter in May 2004 and we started trying again in September 2005. I miscarried right before Christmas. I had to go in and have blood drawn to see that my hcg levels were dropping. It was a very sad time. HOWEVER, I got pregnant again the end of January and had a beautiful baby girl the end of October. My midwife told me to take some time to let my body adjust and to be honest, we weren't trying. I guess it's true that when you're not looking, God hands you to most amazing and extraordinary gifts. I now have 3 amazing children who are the loves of my life.
I guess that it all depends on your body. Let nature take its course. Know that you are not alone.
Good luck to you and all my well wishes!
K. :~)

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H.E.

answers from Chicago on

Hi A.,
My heart goes out to you, it is quite an empty feeling that's hard to explain and the support you might get from people might not seem all that sympathetic. Know there's nothing wrong with you as a woman, everything happens for a reason, and to trust in the way things are supposed be!! Keep trying, you should get your period again within 4-6 weeks after an early miscarriage at 5 weeks. I've always heard you are most fertile and can ovulate again immediately after having that early of a m/c. Since there was hardly a pregnancy, it should'nt have taken that much toll on your body, you just have to be aware of your hormone levels before you test again. You could get a + test with remaining hormones of the m/c.

I have had 2 miscarriages this year and are currently hoping for a + test on the 17th (fingers and toes crossed) I lost the first at 10.5 weeks, no heartbeat at the ultrasound and I had started cramping and bleeding. I knew the pregnancy was doomed! I was devastated to say the least. I have had two healthy pregnancies also, both before turning 30 though. We have a 9 yr old and a 2 yr old. I had no idea to suspect I was ever going to have a m/c, I thought since I had no problems previously with my other 2.

My second m/c was at 5-6 weeks too. My ob started me on progesterone supplements the day we got a positive test, which as it turns out is too late. I should've been taking it the day after ovulation. I went in for blood work and found my progesterone/hcg levels plummeting, so they were able to tell me I would miscarry before I even started showing any signs physically. I got my period within 4 weeks. My ob told me although its heartbreaking, had we not been taking home pregnancy tests, we would've just thought it was a late period. I still thought of it as a miscarry though since i did have a positive test, and than bam, gone. I would suggest looking into low progesterone levels and talking to your ob about doing more tests, there is a slew of them. auto immune diseases, Cardiac, Homo-cycteine, hormone, chromosomal, you name it, they test for it.
My ob seems to think since I had two healthy pregnancies, and I have no problems conceiving, that progesterone must be the culprit. I am currently taking one dose a day w/ progesterone cream and a baby aspirin to prevent any small blood clots restricting blood flow to the baby.
here's an informative website worth checking out. If your ob thinks this is of no concern, I would think about getting a new one.
http://lowprogesteroneinpregnancy.com/

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I also had a m/s at five weeks last June and it was hard. My cycle did return after four weeks and my doctor just asked that I wait 1 full cycle to continue trying. She said mainly so that we could determine how far along I was if I did conceive before having an actual period. We began trying in August and I didn't get pregnant until November but maintained that pregnancy and am currently 33 weeks along. Having 1 m/s doesn't mean you will have another one and all I can say is to try to stay positive and start trying as soon as you feel ready. Enjoy your time with your little guy and before you know you will be expecting again!!

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A.P.

answers from Chicago on

When I had my miscarriage (back in November 2007), it took me about 7 weeks to get a period. My hcg levels didn't drop below 5 until then and then I finally got my period. It is a long process and all I could think about was getting pregnant again, but just wait it out and it will happen when it is supposed to happen for you! =] It is much easier said than done but it is really all you can do! Hope this helps a bit...I know nothing really helps at this point but any piece of advice helped me.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

A.,

So sorry to hear about your loss. I've had two m/c's myself (before having 2 full term, healthy boys). In plain English, it sucks. It's sad, frustrating and can take a toll on you. Let yourself and husband mourn however you need to. After m/c #2, I got the D & C and jumped on a plane to Vegas. I didn't want to be around and deal with all the phone calls/emails, etc.

To answer your question, I think it depends on if you had a D & C or not. With m/c #1 my doctor wanted to let my body take care of things naturally. I was only about 5 weeks along and I kept going in for hcg level checks. I couldn't get it to drop enough so I got a D&C. We were told to wait 3 cycles and my cycle returned right on schedule. I got pregnant on my 3rd cycle only to m/c again at about 11-12 weeks. Since I was much further along, I had the D&C right away. Again, my cycle came back right away and we were told to wait 3 cycles. I think we waited 2 and I got pregnant with our first son (Jacob) who turned 3 in June.

After m/c #2, I had the fetus sent for testing and all came back "ok". As soon as I got a positive test with Jacob, I was at the doctor's office (I think it was even that DAY) and they were checking my levels. My progesterone wasn't high enough so he put me on suppositories. I carried Jacob until his acutal due date.

When I got pregnant with son #2, they wanted to see me right away again. I was put on the progesterone immediately. Ryan is almost 11 months.

I did some research on the whole "wait 3 cycle thing" and I read different things on it. Some said you don't have to wait and others said to wait. We wanted to be safe, so we tried to wait.

I hope all goes well for you. Feel free to PM me if you want to vent, chat or ask any questions. I'm pretty open about my experiences and feelings.

Take care.

T.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have had 2 miscarriages -- my first a few years ago, then I had a healthy pregnancy resulting in my beautiful 17 month old son, and then I had another miscarriage this past April. My doctor said it could take anywhere from a few weeks to a few months for your body to get back to normal and for you to start ovulating again. With both my miscarraiges, I got my period back within a few weeks, but I'm sure everyone is different. I am also 36 years old, so I can very much empathize with your situation. After this last miscarriage, I expressed my worry to my doc, but she said not to be because the fact that I had a healthy pregnancy once is a good sign that it will happen again. I'm sorry for your loss, but don't worry your body will be back on track soon.

As for trying to get pregnant again, have you tried charting your cycle? I started doing this about a month ago. There is a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility, or you can just google "charting ovulation." It is a great way to learn about your body and find out what is going on with your cycle. By the way, I found out this week that I am pregnant again! -- hoping all is ok with this one.

Good Luck!

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E.P.

answers from Chicago on

I am so sorry that you and your husband miscarried. So sorry...no advise just want you to know that my heart goes out to you. It is wonderful that you have a great husband - I'm sure you are a great team!

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B.P.

answers from Chicago on

So sorry for your loss! Going through this stinks. I, as well, have personal experience. I had a normal successful pregnancy, then 2 yrs later a miscarriage at 14 wks. My period returned fairly quickly but it did take us about 1 1/2 yrs after that to get pregnant. That pregnancy was successful. My advice would be...grieve as much as you need to, some people may not understand your loss. I wish you lots of luck and hope you're successful soon.

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