Hi moms. I'm wondering what you all think about this. My mom is disabled. She has severe arthritis and walks with a cane. She still gets around, but is pretty slow. I haven't let her watch my daughter much because of this. Yesterday morning we were in a pinch and I took her over there for 3 hours. She gated off her living room so he can't get too far, and the area is safe for her. She can pick her up and take her in and out of her high chair. She just wouldn't be able to run to grab her quickly if something happened. My mom was SO happy that I asked her to watch my LO yesterday. I know she takes good care of her, but I am not sure if I should let her watch her for 2-3 hours every week. Much longer than that would be too hard. What are your thoughts? It's not like it's a dangerous area, and my daughter is pretty mellow. Content to sit and play most of the time.
thanks moms: to clarify a little bit: it was just her watching him, I was at work and my husband had to go go school. I felt safe leaving her there, I just know longer periods of time would wear her out and the diaper changes are hard (I made sure she was changed and that my mom had everything she needed near by) My main concern is that she's trying to PROVE herself and may over-do it. If she would bonk her head on something (as we all know happens under anyone's watch) she might leap to her and end up hurting herself. The thing that scares me is just her walking - a couple weeks ago she turned around in the kitchen and tripped over her dog and just started falling. She would have hit head-first onto the counter top but luckily my dad was there and caught her. In the back of my mind I worry she would fall, and then of course I worry about the worse-case scenario. What if she fell on her? what if she fell and was seriously hurt and couldn't get up or get to a phone? It's so hard. She needs something to look forward to. Maybe I could see if a friend or my brother (he's off the mornings I thought about having her watch my daughter) could come over for a bit.
I would play it by ear. As the little one gets older she'll become more mobile. that may become an issue from Gma. Also, Gma may have good days and bad days. I wouldn't set a specific schedule. I would just leave it to a 'as needed' open basis.
If you trust your mom to tell you if it's too much, then yes. Do it! It will mean the world to your mom and if the area is secure, your daughter will be safe and will love the bonding time with her grandma.
I think it's a great idea and I also agree your mom would tell you if it becomes too much.
I think my mother would honestly tell me if it was too much.
Sounds like your mom is prepared!
I think your mom would really love to spend time with her granddaughter. Arthritis is such a cruel disease that can take away so many activities we take for granted. If YOU feel comfortable with a couple hours a week, I think that is great.
What about getting a booster high chair so she doens't have to lift as much?
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=ch...
Are there neighbors near by that can pop in occassionally to check in if your mom isn't opposed to that?
Good luck!
Yes, I would, I also think your mother would tell you if it was too much to do. I loved spending time with my grandmas when I was a little girl, of course I don't remember being 15 months old, but I do remember playing at grandma's house. I use to wear her old dresses and shoes, and she had all kinds of jewelery. It was so much fun... we would have tea parties and just play... Great memories...
Your child is very young.
BUT as they get older, kids do get more mobile and busy and active and get more into things.
So you NEED to remember that.
Is your Mom's home... baby and safety proofed? Medications or dangerous objects up high? For example?
It is wise for you to wonder about this. A Grandparent's mobility and physical limitations due to age or health, is important to consider.
I know MANY grandparents... who tell me that they are too tired or have physical limitations or health problems... to watch their grandchildren... but they enjoy doing so.... but yet, it is hard for them and they simply don't have the energy or attention span to do so.
But they don't speak up about it, to the parents. Because then, they 'fear' about who will watch their Grandchild or if the parents will let them or not.
BUT... also, sometimes, a Grandparent will NOT tell you, if they are having a hard time with babysitting. Because, they do not want to seem feeble or incompetent about it. So they don't say anything.
So you need to gauge the situation.
My Mom, once... was washing the dishes. I was downstairs, my kids were upstairs. My son fell... (nothing serious fortunately), but my Mom didn't hear him. And he was upstairs where she was as well.
So that is one example. But a situation where the Grandparent was not alert to.... what was going on.
So, also listen to your gut instinct.
This is not a judgement about your Mom and her physical disability... but about common sense and per safety. For both your child.... and herself.
As you said, your Mom has "severe arthritis...."
My Grandma had bad Arthritis too. SHE could have gotten injured herself, just by walking down her own steps in her home.
And no, they do NOT have, quick reflexes.
And when/if an Elderly person falls.... they can get broken bones/hip, etc.
It is for their safety too.
Is your Mom's home... outfitted with guardrails, handrails, non-slip surfaces etc.? Since she has severe arthritis?
We did that when my late Dad... became physically feeble. We even outfitted his shower and bath, with hand rails, for example.
One and done said it! I love your mama!
I have twin 3 year olds and my mom helps out a lot, but for the most part, we haven't left them alone with her because she can't get around well. She wouldn't be able to get down with the floor with them or lean over and pick them up. And now at 3, they are getting too heavy for her to pick them up anyway.
My mom comments frequently about how she wishes she could watch the kids for us whenever she hears we couldn't get a sitter.
The other day our nanny was unable to work, so my mom watched the kids while my husband worked from home in the den. So he was able to get a lot of work done, but he was also nearby to help if anything should happen. My mom felt good about helping out in a way that she's always wanted to. It was a win-win for everyone.
It's unclear from your post where you were while your mom watched your child. But even if you don't leave the home so you can be nearby in case of an emergency, you could still have her watch the child while you have some me-time elsewhere nearby.
I would play it by ear, and I'd also make sure she as a life-alert type thing or has her cell phone on her at all times so that if she falls and is conscious but can't get up, she can get help quickly.
Maybe. I allowed my MIL to watch my son, with the same reservations you have. He was walking to get a toy, when he tripped over the edge of her rug. His head slammed into the corner of her window sill. When she finally got herself up to help, her knees locked on her. She had to sit down and couldn't get to him, while he was knocked out and bled on the floor 5 feet away! She called us (and 911), and thank goodness...we were in a store just a few blocks away. It ended up being a very small little cut, and the location of it just bled a ton. It just knocked him a little silly...just from walking and falling!! I kept thinking, what if it had been worse? What if she hadn't had her phone right with her? How long would it have taken her to get up? My MIL is 62. She is not allowed to watch him alone now. She is sad, but completely understands.
I'm not telling you that story to sway your decision to no. I'm just pointing out that with little ones accidents CAN and DO happen. You have to be honest with yourself and ask how or if your mom could help your child in an accident. If you think she could get to her, call 911, and tend to her with the operator's help, by all means let her watch your daughter!! If you think she couldn't, that's when I would personally lean to no.
I would say for short periods and in safe areas/situations would be a good idea. I have a similar situation with my father….rarely do I have him watch my kids because the baby does have to be lifted, carried etc and he has two compressed disks in his neck that not only cause him pain but has limited mobility in his upper body. But, first, you are allowing you're mother to be grandma and most grandmas LOVE being grandma second your daughter is getting the opportunity to server her grandma....yes, for now she can't really help her much but as she develops a relationship with her grandma she will understand her challenge of getting around and be of help. Your daughter will probably enjoy helping her and that does wonders for a child's self-esteem. And lastly, you daughter, even young, will learn compassion for someone who is disabled or “not like her” which to me is invaluable when she gets into the world of public school and friends.
Hi B.,
Although I don't know you or your mom I think for a few months it would be Ok and Invigorating for your Mom to take care of the baby for 2-3 hours a day. Babies and grandmom's go together splendidly and it might your mom forget her worries and pains for a few hours, while leaving your baby with significant person in her life which is always better than leaving a baby with a stranger!
Your mom will let you know when she cannot do it any longer as the baby ages and gets more moble.
