Legal Question About Custody of My Step-daughter

My husband has full custody of his daughter and has since before we met. He works in the oilfield and works a 14 on / 7 off schedule. Mom voluntarily gave him custody so the courts were never really involved. It was a mutual agreement, but his work schedule has never been an issue. As full-time step-mom I do everything for her, every day, just as "mom" would. I think the courts should take into consideration daughter's current situation, mom's ability, and the stability of dad's house, and not judge it on his work schedule alone. It worked for us. My advice is hire a PI, hire a good lawyer, and pray for the right thing to happen. Best of luck to you.

In my experience, in MN, a judge would not take a private investigator's report as evidence in court. In our case, the ONLY recommendation that the judge considered was a custody evaluation done by a person that the judge himself appointed to do it. We wasted a lot of money paying for a private custody evaluation and the judge refused to even read it.

It is likely that the fact that their father would be away from home for 2/3 of the time would affect your ability to get more parenting time, or a change in custody. But in the end it is up to the judge and the laws of your state.

My stepkids lived in a horrible area (they watched America's Most Wanted being filmed on their block, for example) and were both neglected and abused. We could not get the court to allow them to live with us until they were 14 & 16 and made the decision themselves. We spent tens of thousands of dollars in legal fees to lawyers, custody evaluators, and mediators with no luck. Our 16 year-old had to sneak away while her mother was at work and drive herself from Chicago to Minneapolis before she was able to live with us!! The 14 year-old had to call us WHILE he was being beaten so that we could call the Chicago cops to go to their house while we listened on the phone.

Sorry to share such a negative story, but it worked out in the end and after extensive counseling as teenagers, I am now stepmom to two quite well-adjusted adults! Be there for your stepdaughter in every way you can. Sometimes the legal fight is not worth the drama, and it's better to be the one stable influence to a child, even part-time, that can make a huge difference.

I would say the judge would not let your husband have full custody due to his not being home to care for his child. You are not the child's relative so the judge cannot give you custody. If she is found to be neglectful and abusive then you, you yourself, not her dad, would have the right to petition the court for guardianship, not custody. IF she is not found to be neglectful or abusive then she is going to keep the custody and maybe even get it amended to full custody.

So, I would say your hubby and you can hire the detective. Pending his findings I would start looking for a different job or working less out of town days per month.

Not if it,s a safety issue. Does the kid tell you things? Proof of issues may be in your favor. Also testamony,s that favor you as her legal gaurdian. Would the child resent you for it? Good luck!

Most courts will put the safety and well being of the child first. If she is in an unsafe environment with her mom, then the court would probably award custody to your husband. It would be helpful if he could adjust his work schedule to be home more for her. Rather than a private investigator, I would talk to a good lawyer who is an expert in family law.
Good luck to you all, especially that beautiful little girl.