Leaving My Kids for the First Time

E.- When my husband and I went to Beijing in May, we left my daughter with my mom. We made a little DVD of us reading books to her and activities we do together like when my husband plays guitar, playing ring-around-the-rosie etc. It was about 20 minutes and she LOVED it. I also made a little snapfish flipbook of her and us with little captions that she could look at whenever. Oh, and I had a little gift from mommy and daddy that she could open everyday. There were times I felt guilty and missed her but overall the trip was awesome!!!

Good luck.

Hi E.,
In all honesty, since they will be home with Dad, this is going to be a lot harder on you than it will be on them. Try not to make a big deal out of it. Explain everything and then just let it be. Answer their questions when they bring it up but otherwise try not to talk about the whole thing too much. If you do that then they will start to think that maybe they should be nervous or upset that you are going. Whatever you do don't let them see how nervous you are. Kids are generally okay when they know that the adults around them are in control and are okay too. Instead of telling them how much you will miss them, tell them that you will be thinking about them every minute. To an adult that is the same thing but to a child that is a much more positive thing than missing them.
Go and have a good time. Take care,
B.

Hello! Don't worry so much. I'm sure your husband will do a great job. I left my 2 1/2 yr old with my parents for 2 nights while my husband and I took a short trip for some much needed us time. The more you worry and make it a big deal, the more your kids will pick up on it and they will get worried. Especially your 3 yr old. Make your goodbye short and sweet and reassure them that they will have "so much fun" with daddy while your gone and that you will be back before they know it. Things will be fine. Enjoy your trip and try not to worry too much... (haha, like a mom can not worry about her kids, teehee!) Hope this helps!

I leave little goodie bags for my kids when I am gone (which is NOT a lot). I just put a special note in a lunch bag with any of the following: a favorite treat, a new book/coloring/workbook, small toys, a movie to watch, or an activity to do, like "Make me a picture of a flower." Sometimes I add something they already have, but haven't played with for a while. The notes and calls help them, and the activities and toys keep them busy so they forget to miss you. Since you husband will be watching them, you could add a note like, "Have a tickle fight with Daddy." It will help them bond more with him and make the time fly by till they can see you again.

I remember the first time I left my kids overnight. WOW was that hard!! It was the same kind of situation, my hubby took time off work to watch them.

I had to go to Dallas for my sister's wedding. I was the planner and I was in it - kinda had to be there. But my youngest was just over a year old. I cried.

So, here's what I did. I promised to bring them something from my trip. I called them when I got to Dallas and I called every night at bed time. Also, when possible, I called once or twice during the day. (I was gone for all of 2 or 3 nights)

I know it's hard - but it's SO great to come back home to them again! Be brave - you can do it and it's good for you AND the kids.

Just do it and don't let them feel any anxiety from you. If they know you are okay with leaving even if they fuss a bit then they will be okay with it. Being with your husband is good for them away from you too.

Hi E.!! Still wish I could go with! lol. I saw this and thought, I bet that is "my" E.. anyway...one of the things you can do will be to call home and talk with each of them for a couple of minutes at night before they go to bed (or another arranged time based on your schedule) I'm pretty sure that it is going to be harder on you than your kids but I think it will help all of you. Plus give them each a special job to do like the 7 to help the younger two feel good about what is going on and the 5 year old to help daddy not be sad and the 3 year old to look after a special toy or book of theirs so it doesn't miss mommy too much. If they each have a "chore" of taking care of someone else and thier emotions they won't have as much time to focus on their own anxieties. My parents didn't leave us much when I was a kid but we all had stuff we were responsible for and it helped a lot. We also had a special bag of treats mom would leave for us to have when she was gone. Hers really was just candy we didn't get candy at our house on a regular basis so that was a nice treat. But it could be a book or little squirt guns they could have something to look forward to getting from mom each day. and it might help you out if you have them each write you a note or draw you a picture for each day you will be gone and seal them in envelopes then you can open them on that day. You could do the same for them, leave a little note for each day. something that will help you all prepare for you going but in an exciting way. Have fun!! and make sure you tell me ALL about it when you get home!!

I am leaving my two girls (3 and 6) overnight for the first time too, I am leaving them with their grandparents for 5 days. One thing I am doing is making a poster with pictures of our family together and the words "Mommy and Daddy love Hannah and Bridget" on it for them to look at while we are gone. I want to record a tape of me reading to them but I do not have a tape recorder, I have also thought about taking 2 copies of a book from the library so they can have one to look at while I read it to them over the phone. Try to make it seem like an adventure that they get to have extra Daddy time while you are gone, and tell them you are bringing them back something special from your trip, it does not have to be expencive, my Dad was in the Army and had to be gone allot, he brought us bakc unique candies from other countries, or sand from beaches in little jars, once he brough back a jar of snow (melted of course) from Alaska, we kids thought it was great! Good luck, they wil be fine!

Discovery Toys ( www.toysofdiscovery.com )makes a great toy phone called TODDLER TALK that allows you to record a short message which your child can play back to hear your voice.

I know how you feel! I am leaving my 3 year old for the first time in August...6 nights away at a conference in Brazil. One thing I plan to do is to use Skype to call him everyday so that we can see each other. My husband went away for a week for a class earlier this summer and of course my son missed him and asked about him alot but he was ok. So I guess the same should be true when I am away. It will probably be harder on us than the kids. Good luck!

The leading up is always the worst. Just think how good it will be for you to get some time by yourself and for your husband to have the full responsibility - and your kids.

I have found once I am in the plane or at my destination, I have let go, sure I miss them- but am glad I am there.

I know this is easier said than done- but worrying is a useless emotion. Try to remain calm and upbeat in front of your kids- and then they will be more so too. (You probably already are).

Have a great time!

sorry i don't have any advice :) but i did want to say thanks for posting this. i have a 2 year old (my only one) and though LOTS of people seem okay with leaving their very little ones overnight i think it will be a long while before we ever do that (or before i even leave her with dad overnight) and i'm glad to know i'm not a lunatic and other moms wait a long while before leaving their babies (even 7 year old babies) overnight. good luck with your overnighter.

I'm sure they will be fine and I have a feeling that it will be Mom that will be more upset than the children? Your children are more than old enough to manage without you for one night. There father will be there and after 7 years of parenting should be more than capable and knowledgeable of their routine. If not, then this will be good learning curve for him :0). My daughter was 18 months old the first time I wasn't there at night (I was in hospitable) My husband. although nervous at first coped marvelously. Your girls are old enough to bathe themselves, brush their teeth and help with setting the table etc. Above all else don;t let them know your nervous about it, and don;t make a big scene when you go. I think you'll be pleasantly suprised how well they cope.

I read this advice in a magazine, and used it when I went out of town for a week. It helped quite a lot. Instead of getting gifts to give your kids when you get home, get or make them each a gift box only to be opened after you leave. I went to the dollar store, and picked up a large gift bag for each of my kids, then I filled each bag with little goddies that they don't normally have around the house, (bubbles, glow sticks, etc.) for them to play with while I was gone. I also wrapped a few, and labeled them, "do not open until Wednesday" or thursday, or whatever... that way they got a new one while I was gone as well. I didn't make any of them expensive, just things that take up some time, and that I know my kids enjoy doing.

Also, the more emotional you are when you leave, the more emotional they will become. Be excited for them, tell them that it's their special time with daddy, or maybe have them help plan a night doing something with just him (like maybe watching a movie and eating in front of the tv)...

The last piece of advice, and this sounds cruel... but don't call them while you are gone. All this does is remind your kids that you aren't there, and when they talk to you, it will make them (AND YOU) more homesick for them. Plus, you'll hear about everything that isn't going well, (if there is any) and your guilt will skyrocket!!

Hope this helps!!

You are doing a great job, it is good for them to spend time with Dad( and for him too!) You know the airplane analagy, get your oxygen first so you can better assist others! Your kids will be fine! Hopefully you are doing something fun! Enjoy!

kiss them, give a hug, be cheerful, say you'll be back in the morning, don't worry, and have fun.

hI E.

Here is a web site:

http://www.clubmom.com/display/242306

Hope this helps. D.