Learning the Abc's

Updated on March 14, 2011
K.M. asks from Shelton, CT
25 answers

OK, so my daughter is 3.5 years old and she goes to a prescholl full time. She can sing the ABC song but she cannot identify all the letters yet. She knows the letter of her first and last name really well, but not so good with others. Yesterday when I was picking her up, a little girl was standing in front of the letters and touching each one and saying what it was. Maybe I am exaggerating, but I was wondering if my daughter should know this by now too. I know they learn about letters at school so I didn't stress teaching at home because I figured kids need to be kids and play. I know every child is at a different level with development and so it's not about comparison, but should my daughter know all her letters by now? What has been your experience? Please no bad judgement.

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So What Happened?

Thank You ladies so much for all of your input. You are right that my daughter is propably ahead in things that interest her more than learning. She is fascinated by all animals. She loves drawing and I am amazed at her level of drawing. She can do a lot for herself as far as getting dressed and undressed. When she was less than two she grasped the idea of pretend play so well. She is very much into dancing and dressing like a princess. She is learning how to ride a bicycle, and has outgrown her scooter. I guess I may have worried too much, but I will try some of the things you have mentioned to get her interested in learning her letters. I think the concern came from knowing that kids in first grade are writing sentences and expected to know more than previously. I appreciate all your helpful suggestions.

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C.S.

answers from Milwaukee on

I agree-every child learns at a different pace so don't worry to much.

The LeapFrog DVD - The Letter Factory- is AWESOME! It's fun for the kids to watch and perfect at teaching them to recognize and pronounce the sounds of each letter.

You can get it on Amazon.

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S.S.

answers from Binghamton on

My experience: One daugther who taught herself to read full sentences by 2.5, one daughter still working on her letters at 4. Both excellent readers now at 14 and 11. The stimulus is there, she'll do it in her own time.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

Most children do not know all their letters at 31/2, but they do know some. There's no need to "stress teaching them". Just start introducing them and talking about them more often. Pick a letter a week, to work on. Don't go in alphabetical order. You may want to start with the letters in her name.

An alphabet puzzle is a good way to help learn.

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A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

Your daughter isn't behind at all, but you can probably start teaching her on your own now to supplement what she's already learning in pre-school. If anything, it will help develop the habit of helping her with her homework down the road and make her schooling into a family affair. My son is pretty advanced with language and reading, but has absolutely no interest in art (doesn't like doodling or painting). My niece who is the same age as him (they're both 27 months old) can draw actual pictures and spends hours on end coloring, but she can't recognize a single letter. Every kid has their different "specialty" and interests--just find what your daughter's is and encourage her in that.

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S.T.

answers from New York on

YIKES! WE have enough things to stress about - do not allow yourself to stress about this. Some kids are very early language learners - like this other child at pre-school - while other kdis are early learners in math, social skills, or even music.

Some kids can learn to read early, some cannot. Some kids need special ed, others' brains are not ready to read until 7 or even 9 then suddenly the lightbulb goes on. If your child is one of these kids you can use all the videos and learning tools you want but it just won't stick. I had one child who was ready to read very early and one who wasn't until he was nearly 9. Rest assured they can both read now - they just did it at different speeds, in different ways. ;o)

Kids are all different. It could be that this other child is unusally gifted, or that she knows her letters but doesn't have great social skills, or has trouble kicking a soccer ball. It could be that your child is very agile and coordinated - or maybe your kid as an innate sense of dealing with people, she reads people's expressions really well and is almost intuitive in understanding people's emotions - or perhaps she's a whiz with puzzles and legos and has a great sense of spatial understanding. Perhaps your child has wonderful musical skills...

God makes each person with unique skills and abilities. Don't wish every one of them on your child. Find out what your child's special abilities are and encourage her in those areas - that will make for a happy & fulfilled child who grows up to be a great adult. You go mama!

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

She's fine. My friend's 5-year-old can't identify all the letters yet (she's just more interested in drawing and dancing right now). My kiddo learned them at 2.5, but not because I pushed. He just decided he LOVED letters and we ran with it.

We spent a lot of time outside on the driveway with sidewalk chalk - drawing just the capital leters and jumping on them and shouting their names, and then I started adding the lower-case letters alongside. Then I started scrambling them all over the driveway, so he'd have to search for it (i.e. "Ff" was 20 feet away from Ee"). I also drew 5 or 6 letters in one color, then switch colors. If he got frustrated looking for a letter, I'd say, "Jj is BLUE." He also really liked "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom", and I'd point to each letter as I read it.

OK - so this post suddenly became a list of suggestions. But no, I don't think your kiddo is behind at all. I'll bet that the little girl naming all the letters at school doesn't know how to do some of the things that your little one has already mastered! :)

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A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter, who is currently in Kindergarten, did not know her ABC's until right as she was starting Kindergarten. We worked with her on it a lot, but she was not interested. She would look off in the distance whenever we went over the ABC's- it was over her head at the time. I was worried, but now she is reading and is on par with the rest of her class. My youngest, who just turned 3 knows most of her ABC's and the sounds they make. I would not be surprised if she is reading by the end of the year. I have spent the same amount of time and same tools with all my kids, just shows how different they all are!
So, no, I would not be worried at all. Your daughter is surely better at other things than this little gal, perhaps she is more coordinated or a better listener or something.
I would recommend the Leapfrog Fridge Phonics toy; it is a magnetic toy. Kids put the ABC magnets on it and it sings a song about the letter and sound it makes. It is great for helping kids with memorization on their own. Also, get the book Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Cute story, and it really helps with identifying the letters. I read it to my youngest a lot. Third, check out the PBS show Word World. I let my daughter watch it in the morning and I was amazed that she learned most of her letters by watching it.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

At 3, she doesn't need to recognize every letter. It would be good if she did by kindergarten, but I work in an elementary school and we have kindergarteners who start school not recognizing all of the letters. In everyday activities, point out the different letters (like on signs), read books with alphabet themes, use a multisensory approach - make letters using fingerpaint or spread colored craft sand on a safe surface and finger trace letters in it. Don't stress! My older kid could recognize every letter by 3, my younger one was closer to 4 1/2.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Start now - they learn very quickly!

Starfall.com is awesome. After reading a post on here about it, I tried it with my son and he now knows all his letters and the sounds they make! And it has only been a couple weeks!

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

My belief is that teaching them early really helps with all of their development down the line. I used the magnetic letters on the fridge. We would sit on the kitchen floor and I would put up letters and words and they loved playing that. Whenever you see the letters on a sign or in a book or anywhere... you just point the letter out, repeat it, and eventualy they start memorizing it. Always telling them the sound it makes and what other words start with that letter and so on and so forth. There is a lot of repition involved and once the bulb goes off in their brain, they become unstoppable.
Mine were both reading on their own at age 2 and my granddaughter reads on her own at age 2 as well. There are so many other challenges for kids to face when they hit kindergarten, knowing their alphabet and basic numbers with simple addition and subtraction, makes a school a lot more fun for them as they enter with a healthy esteem.
Dr Seuss books work great for teaching letters and words.
Get a chalkboard. 3 year olds are not too young to be able to write their full name, know their address and phone number and know their parents full names. You do have to teach them these things, they dont come automatically. She's at a ripe age for learning, enjoy the process, it's so fun to watch them get smarter every day.

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L.V.

answers from Dallas on

I'm not a big fan of video learning in general, but check out Leap Frog Letter Factory. My daughter learned all her letters and their sounds within a couple of times watching the video.

Then you'll have to work on matching the uppercase with the lowercase because all the video covers is uppercase.

Good luck!

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

The preschools don't generally expect them to know them yet at her age. Whether or not they are capable or eager to learn them, however, is very child specific. Some kids couldn't care less. Some kids are starving to learn. It just depends upon where your child is in her development, if that is something that interests her right now. My daughter learned her letters from a LeapFrog toy while riding back and forth taking my older son to Kindergarten, and on family vacation time in the car. It was just a toy, but she LOVED it. I didn't even KNOW she knew her alphabet... b/c I didn't teach it to her. She begged me to teach her to read, so I did. And she was reading comprehensively (by sounding out words, not sight words) by her 4th birthday. But she was FAR FAR ahead of her classmates when she began K4. They were still working on the individual letters.

So, your daughter is probably right where she is expected to be. Unless SHE is actively interested in doing more with them right now, I wouldn't push. But you CAN do games where you have a letter of the day to encourage letter recognition and still keep it loads of fun, if you want. But probably not necessary.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

Start now-she'll catch on quickly-but keep it fun

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M.G.

answers from Chicago on

No, your daughter should not know all of her letters by now. This is one area where there is a huge gap in what some kids can do and others can't. My twins are almost 2.5 and they do know all of their uppercase and lowercase letters, and most of the sounds. Honestly, I am shocked by this. I didn't expect it, but their little brains were ready for it. But, there are other areas that many two year olds can do but my kiddos can't yet. Here's the way I look at it. A kindergarten outcome is for all students to know their letters. That tells me that she needs to have it by the END of kindergarten. Sure, you can work with her on it now, but I wouldn't stress that she doesn't know them until she's almost done with kindergarten.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

My dd is the same age. She does recognize her letters but she has trouble differentiating between c and s when sounding things. Some kids in her class can spell/write their name. My dd makes a good effort. Like any mom, I try to integrate learning in to play - like with alphabet stamps for crafting, bedtime stories etc. I am not concerned. I do not think you should be. Though there are children ahead, there are also children behind. If you need reassurance, have a chat with her teacher. I'm sure he/she will say your daughter is age appropriate. BTW, I found the LeapFrog words factory/phonics a huge hit, also .. WordsWorld and SuperWhy on NickJr are brilliant for letters and words

D.P.

answers from Detroit on

It does not have to be a contest of who knows more than who but as parents we do need to take an active role in our children's academic life as well. And learning can be fun and can be incorporated in play.

Kids are expected to know their ABCs by kindergarten. Some don't but catch up pretty quick. Even at her age your daughter is probably able to grasp it quick you just need to expose her. A great book is Dr Suess' ABC book.

I have one of those daughters who can write her name at 3, able to recite the Lord's Prayer at 2.5 and reads chapter books at 6. Then I also have one that struggles a bit. Her interests are someplace else and I have to be creative with her exposure. Handwriting without tears are great even for letter recognition. I also recommend Preschool Prep.

A.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Ok - On my soapbox - You can NEVER expect schools to teach your child everything or make sure that they are up to speed with their education - that is your job.
Just start reading ABC books with her, where you point to the letter and she repeats it. Buy or make flashcards with the letter on them. I used to have this Sesame Street plastic mat with all the letters around the edge and flashcards with ABCs on them. I would lay out the mat and have my kids match the flashcards to the correct spot on the mat while repeating the letter and having them repeat the letter - you could easily make a mat type thing with paper.
I don't think your daughter is behind - kids vary alot at that age, so don't worry, but I would have a goal of her knowing them all and starting to write her name by age 4........
Also wanted to add that when I taught my daughter how to spell her name, we used a song "S, I, E, R, R, A, - Sierra likes to run and play. I know it won't work with all names, just a thought.

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J.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

I have a 4.5 and 2.5 and your daughter sounds right on track...my older could say her alphabet and spell/identify her name at 3.5...now she can identify all but a handful of letters and spell/read a dozen words. My younger can identify the letter S as the first letter of his name and halfway sing the alphabet though I don't think he really knows what he singing. Mine are both in preschool and I get good reports of their skills being on target to above for their ages.

If you are concerned I would start with her learning to identify every letter in her name, not just the first ones and then go from there (make place cards for the dinner table with everyone's name, label the hook where she hangs her coat, let her help you "design" a shirt with her name using iron-ons or puff paint)...learning letters from road signs and businesses is a great way to expand on what she knows (mine's first word besides her name was STOP). We painted the alphabet on the wall of the play room...but I have seen letter cutouts in the dollar bin at Target or large alphabet posters at teacher stores...
Most of these where suggestions or steals from my kid's preschool and teachers and I have always been told at the preschool level it is all about exposure, it will "click" for different kids at different ages.

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Every child is different, but I think she should know quite a few. My oldest knew his by 3 and my middle son will be 3 on Friday and has know his a while (we're working on lower case now). Neither of them knew the ABC song first. I taught the letters, not the song. Make a game out of it at home. Make (or buy) alphabet flash cards and have her match them. Or, come up with another fun way of teaching them.

It's hard to know what to teach them! My oldest is 5 and when he was in pre-K there were things he couldn't do (like zip his jacket), that I never thought to teach him. I just always did it for him.

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E.C.

answers from New York on

Definitely don't worry about it! Just have reading books to her be part of your play time with her each day - 30-60 minutes. Read a book while she sits on your lap or cuddles next to you on the couch - that's 15 minutes. Have her turn the pages. Ask her a question about the pictures.

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A.J.

answers from New York on

As a former kindergarten teacher I can tell you there is no reason to stress about your child not knowing the alphabet at 3.5. She has plenty of time to learn and she will learn it when she's ready. I'm sure she's curious, if she's anything like my 3 yo. My daughter is constantly asking the name of the letters. We have magnetic letters that she loves to play with and the fridge phonics from leapfrog. When I write her name I say each letter as I write it and she can also recognize the first letter of her name. It's so exciting to watch them learn :) I would keep talking about letters and encourage her to notice letters in everyday places (signs, mailboxes, etc.) but don't worry. She seems to be right on track with where she should be! Good luck!

M.H.

answers from New York on

my son doesn't know his either. He will be 4 yrs old in June. God Willing. :) I know I need to spend more time with him with his writing and alphabets. I think she is fine. Every child is defferent. :)

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N.S.

answers from Austin on

No judgment, but I'll tell you what has worked for us. My son is 26 months old, I stay home with him full time. He started watching Sesame Street around 15 months, loved it! I would watch with him and we sing the ABC song to him. He has been introduced to letters, numbers, colors from very early on, with lots of access to books and us reading to him and singing and pointing out his name and the letters in it.

Also around 15 months we really started driving home the alphabet. Alphabet blocks, as he learned first words, we'd reinforce by telling him what letter it started with etc. By 18 months or so, he has started identifying letters. About 5 months ago, he got a big foam mat that is letters and numbers 0-9 in his playroom, he takes it apart like a big puzzle and just started saying more and more letters, so we used it as a game, can you find the...., what letter does blank start with. He LOVES IT! Best $15 ever spent. He now recognizes all but about 3 letters, we're now working on writing them, which he likes to do in the shower on the steamed up door. He also has fridge magnet letters, flashcards...it's everywhere! We use books to continually reinforce and turn everything into a game. He initiated a lot of it though, he doesn't sing the ABC song, but he'll see letters in signs or on the tv and has started recognizing words without pictures and even abstract places and point them out or pick something up and tell us it looks like an I or whatever. I figured, build up all the little factors til we get to actual reading. Using her name is a great way too, we have lots of things that say his name.

To some degree, I think kids have strengths and have to self motivate, but we jump started it by making everything about learning something in a fun way and we just continue to build on it everyday.

I definitely think if you're paying for pre-school, your child should be getting more out of it than the average kid. She should be ahead when she gets to kinder and though her particular learning style or development will play a part, you want to get what you pay for too. I would just say, do as much as you can at home, make it fun bottom line and create a love of learning and she'll be fine!

A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

I would say as long as she knows her ABC's by age five she is fine. Check out the book Chicka Chicka Boom Boom. Both my niece and my daughter loved that book when they were learning letter recognition.

L.M.

answers from Dover on

Every child is different. Some learn steadily very early, other pick it up later and all at once...it is just so varied that I wouldn't stress about it.

My daughter learned very quickly but she's done that with everything. Talk to her preschool teacher and see what she says.

You can help her learn at home while playing.

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