Ladies My Family Is Coming to TOWN!!

Updated on November 05, 2007
E.N. asks from Friendswood, TX
7 answers

Okey Ladies once again here I am!! Okey here is the deal my mother wants to cook Thanksgiving dinner in what it suppost to be my Wedding day like I told you all before my husband and I are finally able to be married thru church and His mom, my mom, Dad, Stepfather, brother, sister and fiance and husband are coming.. Now my dilemma is that my Husband does not want to have Thanksgiving Dinner on Our Wedding Day we want to go out and Eat.. Now I have my mother on the other hand saying; Doesn't he realize that this is the first time that the whole family will be together?? So I told my mother NO THANKSGIVING DINNER,Being in my Husband side!! But aw!! now my mother is upset and I still don't know what I should do? I was thinking that Maybe since most of them are coming on Friday night maybe we could do the thanksgiving dinner my mother wants on Saturday and then Sunday after the ceremony we can go to a restaurant to celebrate my Wedding however the reason I didn't want my mother cooking is because I have alot to do I have to picked up my Wedding cake on Saturday at 3:00Pm and then I am getting my hair done at 5:45pm I didn't want anything to come between that?? Help Ladies Help!! At this moment my mother is upset and telling me, Eva I don't think any of us can go to a restaurant don't you see there is to many of us?? I don't see the problem I am sure they can all pay for their food I did when I went to my sister's Marriage no one paid for us and is 6 of us alone plus we paid for our rental car, gas and travel to New Orleans.

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So What Happened?

So What happened is one day pancakes in the morning that's the only cooking we did :0)and we went out to eat at Dickies, In the evening we got Pizza and Sunday just like I wanted we went out to POSADAS and it was great Girls I am so Glad that you all agreed with me and I stook to it and we all just had a Blass at the Restaurant we laugh we ate and with Drank it was great! So That's what happened. LIKE SOME OF YOU SAID> "IT WAS MY DAY". Thank You ladies!

More Answers

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J.H.

answers from Dallas on

Sweety its your day do what you want!!!
If you want an early Turkey day! DO IT!!! You can still invite everyone...
Make it special for your hubby, you can go out to eat on your day and still please everyone else another day. If that upsets mom well Like I said ITS YOUR SPECIAL DAY!!!!
I hope it is beautiful and dont sweat the small stuff... Make your mind up and tell her this is how you want it!!!
As nice as you can. GOOD LUCK!! And CONGRADS

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M.B.

answers from Dallas on

Have you heard of Dr. Laura Schlessinger? I am going to give you a Dr. Laura answer. Stand up to your Mother and tell her this is your wedding day, and the family is coming to celebrate this occassion, not Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is Thursday. Your family is coming in for the wedding, right? Celebrate that the family is coming together for this joyeous wedding. Tell your Mother to stop being selfish and stop trying to please other people! Tell her you love her, and you want her to be a part of this happy day you and your husband-to-be are about to share. Tell her also you would appreciate it if she would help in making this a happy weekend, not a stressful weekend over ONE Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is once a year, and your wedding is one day you can't get back. Don't give in, it will only lead to regret in later years. Do what makes the happy couple happy! Ask your Mother if she wants a Thanksgiving for her happiness or a happy wedding for her daughter?

C'mom Mom... it's a no brainer!

Congratulations!

I hope you both have a wonderful day!

M. Brooks

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B.M.

answers from Dallas on

The only advice that I can give you is that your wedding day is about you and your husband. I know that it is hard when people, including family want you to do things their way. And you want to be accommodating, but your wedding day is yours. It's about the commitment that you are making to your husband. Sit down the two of you and come up with a plan and then let your family know what is going to happen. If they want to be a part of your special day, then they will come. You can just present the events in a pleasant way. Good luck.

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L.A.

answers from Dallas on

I am usurally for keeping peace in the family, but this sounds like a who's in charge issue. I doubt this is the first time you have had an issue like this and I'm sure it won't be the last. Mom's are famous for pulling the, I'm the Mom, I have the experience, I know what to do, so do it my way or I'll get my feelings hurt. I'm sure she doesn't even realize she is doing it. In this case, you are doing nothing wrong. This is your day and you should get to chose. Your way is not wrong. Her's is not necessarily wrong either. It's just not what you want on your special day. Thanksgiving is not about the dinner anyway. It's about being together with people you love and being thankful. I will tell you though, from past experience, to make sure and reserve a place for you and your guests ahead of time, so that you can make sure everyone is comfortable, and because it is a holiday. Last year my daughter got married and we planned to have a informal eat out dinner the night before with both families. We made reservations, but the place they put us was noisy and uncomfortable. Make sure and check the place out before that day, and pin them down to where you are seated. As for your Mom, she will and should get over it if she really loves you. There will be other Thanksgivings down the road. There will not be another Wedding Day.

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

Unfortunately you will have this problem the rest of your married days. Thanksgiving will over take anniversary. I would do the restraurant thing. It is just to much to do all of that. Too stressful. If mom gets her attitude I would just say that we do not want a dinner cooked at home. If all those people will be staying at your house oh my. Too many things to do the last minute. If they can not afford dinner then go to Golden Corral or Luby's. Less stress and every one has choices. If they are wealthy then go to Three Forks after the wedding. But I would even not want a breakfast. IHOP. Have a great day but your new hubby is right. Also you could have food to fix your own huge sandwich when you want. G. W

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M.S.

answers from Dallas on

Why don't you tell your mom that instead of being tied to the kitchen all day, you need her support and help for the day in the things you need to accomplish before the ceremony?

It sounds to me like she just needs to be "needed." Does that make sense? So maybe see if you can schedule a hair appt with another stylist for her to have done while you are having yours done. You guys could talk while you are having your hair done together. Sort of a mom/daughter time before the wedding.

Just let her know that regardless of what she does or doesn't do, she is still needed. It is absolutely your day, but it is also her seeing one of her babies get married and I can imagine that would make her feel a little insecure about what her role is now. Despite the fact that you've been together with your husband for 10 yrs, the church wedding sounds like it is still a big deal for her, sort of a final word saying that she no longer has to take care of you.

As to having a restaurant dinner afterwards, I feel sure that any restaurant of considerable size could handle a crowd. However, of course, be sure to figure out where you want to go beforehand and call ahead to make reservations so that they are expecting your crowd. If you do this, it shouldn't be any problem at all.

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T.H.

answers from Dallas on

1st as everyone else has said... it is about you and your immedaite family (You, Your Husband, and your kids.) Everyone elses wishes takes second to that.

Not that is always works, but it sometimes can you can try the... In some ways your right, but his would make your idea better.

Your Mom is wanting to spend family time together, in a nice way remind her if she is busy cooking she is doing the opposite of that.
Agree about the Wedding and Thanksgiving a time for family to spend together.
Then tell her it would be much nicer not having to worry about adding more work to get things together, When more time could be spent actually spending time with the family if you went out to eat. No wasted family time on shopping, cooking,washing dishes and cleaning up.
Make a reservation for dinner so everyone can enjoy each others company instead of have to worry about making dinner and spending all the time in the kitchen instead of with the family.
Hopefully, your mother will come around, but if she doesn't... as hard as it is to do... stay true to you & your husbands wishes. Its your day, your dreams, your wishes.

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