My husband and I will be married 2 years in May, and will have been together for 5 years at that time as well. Over these past years our "togetherness" has decreased majorly. I bring this issue up about every other month and he swears it isn't me. We use to have "relations" twice a day! And now I'm lucky if he ever lays a hand on me. He also swears that he isn't "taking care of things himself". I don't know what to do. I REALLY don't think he is cheating on me but at times I don't know what to think. I have gained weight, but since I've had our child I'm only about 10 or 15 lbs heavier and I was really skinny when we met so I don't see how that could be the issue. He sometimes plays the card that I don't start things either so the last time we were together I did start it and that was months ago. Nothing since. When I tell him that I still want to be a sexual person and that I think about buying things to keep me satisfied he get REALLY upset. He doesn't have any problems in bed so it's not that either. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Is he stressed out? My guy is so the opposite I can't even imagine. Is there something else that is bothering him, has he put on weight? Try to get him to communicate about it when it's not "the moment", you know. Maybe he is feeling pressure to preform after it's been awhile or afraid he won't satisfy you? Analize the rest of your relationship and make sure that there is nothing else wrong. Good Luck.
Hello B. maybe something is going on with him. How old is your husband? If he is older there could be an erection problem. But if he is not you may have to dig deeper to find out what is going on. Don't give up
I'm sorry to hear that! The best thing to do is talk to your husband. Ask him how he sees you now that you're a mother. Before we have children, we are all that our husbands want and they won't keep their hands off of us. However, once we have children, that changes for some men. While some men see their wifes as strong, beautiful women whose bodies did an amazing thing, others (for whatever reason) can't look at their wives the way that used to b/c of what they might have seen during the delivery and if you nurse your baby, your body no longer belongs to only him. He's having to share you. So, in all of this rambling, the best adivice that I can give is to keep the communication lines open and if he responds to you when you initiate sex, then initiate away to your heart's content :)
Has he started any new medication. Sometimes the side effects can be low libido. Also, maybe his testosterone is low. My spouse's is and he has a low drive as well. It wouldn't hurt to have him see his doctor and get his hormone levels tested. Maybe you could suggest this to him. Not to mention that this is more common than he thinks so it's nothing for him to be ashamed of if he throws the embarrassed card at you. Besides, everyone can benefit from a hormonal check up every once in awhile. Not to mention, maybe the doctor knows of other things that this could be related to.
Good luck with this. I know it can be frustrating.
