Kindergarten Student with Anxiety Issues

Updated on November 10, 2009
A.R. asks from Inola, OK
6 answers

My daughter is in kindgergarten this year. This is her first year in a small "public school" (4 kindergarten classes)& she spent two years at a "private" preschool. She was so excited to start her new school and everything went fine for about 6 weeks. At that point she got chocked while she was eating in the lunchroom and vomitted. The school called and I picked her up, thinking she was actually sick. Not until later that day did she tell me that she had choked.
A little background - she has had serious issues with acid refux / GERD. She had a feeding tube until she was almost 4 years old. So she has always had issues with eating.
Back to the story - since that day and we are going on almost 7 weeks now, she cries every morning before school. On three separate occasions she has woke up between 3 - 4 in the morning crying because she is worried about school. The first week after the lunchroom incident she threw up several times at school because she was crying so much. Since then she isn't vomiting anymore, but the crying persists. First it was because she was worried about the lunch room - so I went to lunch w/ her for almost 2 weeks. The next week her teacher was on lunchroom duty so I didn't go - she is finally doing ok at lunch; by that I mean not crying.
Now it's mainly the morning time. She cries before we leave for school and at least once / week she will make herself throw up before we leave. I have had to pull over on the side of the road so that she can be sick. She continues to wimper through their morning circle time from what I understand.
It's not that she doesn't want to go to school, but it physically makes her sick. She has lots of friends and enjoys what she does while she's there, but she can't get past all of this anxiety. I know it's disruptive to the other students, but I can't keep her out of school.
We are at our whit's end...we don't baby her. We tell her that she must go and assure her that once she gets over the initial anxiety that she will have a good day. She is always smiling when I pick her up in the afternoon. She never throws a fit not wanting to go to school, it just upsets her so much.
On top of all the anxiety she is dealing with - she is back on Prevacid for her reflux, having constipation issues and has lost 6 lbs.

Help - has anyone ever dealt with anything like this and what are your suggestions?

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W.B.

answers from Tulsa on

Oh, bless her heart! That just breaks my heart that she is having such a tough time. What does her Dr. say? Can she take anything temporarily that would calm her until she can calm herself down? I have no ideas for you, I just wanted to tell you that I feel for you and your precious little girl!

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T.P.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

Poor baby! That sounds like a tough situation for her. Maybe the school has a counselor she could talk through to help work through the anxiety. If not, perhaps a private one, because there will be lots more anxious moments and having good coping strategies can really help her to be happy! I think sometimes kids listen to other people better than parents too. Hope things get better soon.

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A.M.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I wouldn't normally respond to something like this because I am not a doctor, but it hits home a little with me from when I was a child so I thought I would. I had severe anxiety one year in school, the 5th grade. Everything was fine and then my teacher sent me to the principal for not finishing a spelling assignment, which is rediculous, and so I had trouble thinking because I was so nervous all the time, couldn't sleep at night because I was so worried there might have been something I forgot. That same year I tried out for cheerleader in front of a large audience, with a cheer I learned 2 hours before (was new and found out day of try outs I was eligible) so needless to say, it was a disaster and after that day I lost friends, was really embarrassed and went from confident and straight A's to insecure and lower grades. I had trouble finding my confidence for years, but finally did. I think if I could have just talked to a counselor or therapist I may have gotten over the issues sooner. I wonder if the meds she is on has a side effect. Anyway, good luck to you, I am sure when my son gets older, there will be many things like this for us to tackle. I am so happy you are searching for solutions.

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M.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

I wanted to ask you if something has happened in your family lately that she is responding to. I had a similar issue when I was a little girl. I was in like 3rd grade. Everything was fine and then wham! I felt like my world fell apart. My grandma died suddenly and she was my best friend. I could not eat or sleep. I had panic attacks all the time to where I could not breathe. The only person that could help was my mom. If she was there I was fine. When she left I felt paralyzed. Not long after this all started we had to move from one state to another because my dad lost a job. This made things worse for me. I had to go to another school, with a new teacher, and no friends. I was known as the girl who cried all the time. I only had to go to this school for like 6 months. Then we moved to a town about 15 miles away and I had a summer to get ready for the new school. It helped so much that I had time to settle myself down and adjust to "life" as I had to know it. At the new school my mom talked to them before school started and I went to the counselor's office everyday before school for a few weeks and talked and she would take me to class and after a while all the anxiety went away and I was just fine, but it took time.
I would see if it would be possible for her to see the school counselor. Maybe the chocking issue hurt more than just her pride. It may have hurt her confidence, and that is hard to get back. I hope this helps!

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L.R.

answers from Shreveport on

I think that I would have to first ask if this could be a side affect of the Prevacid? If that's not what could be contributing to the situation, you should ask the school to let your daughter see the school psychologist. That person should be trained to help in these issues. Maybe they could give you some ideas on what to do at home to help ease the transition into school in the mornings. Plus, that person would be trained to help your daughter at school in the mornings when it is so tough for her to adjust.

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M.C.

answers from Dothan on

have you considered homeschool? we are going to homeschool our kids until they decide they want to try out public school. maybe you could do it this year and help her work through her worries. she could start school next year and maybe you could get her medical problems sorted out.

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