Kindergarten Sleepover?

Updated on March 18, 2013
P.G. asks from San Antonio, TX
22 answers

I'm not sure when/if it will happen, but a mom in my son's class was giving parents a heads up about a boys only sleepover birthday party. Sleepover is optional. My son will be 6 and has only slept over at his aunt's one time. He wakes at night usually and comes to our room, and I'll walk him back to bed. My sis handled this fine and he fell right back to sleep, but I don't expect a strange mom to deal with re-tucking, possible upset kiddo and waking the other boys.

I was just wondering when the "sweet spot" for sleepovers begins. I don't remember doing this till I was at least over 8-9 years old. How old is sleepover age anyway?


What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers



answers from Atlanta on

My kids started around 3/4, but I know that's young. I've had sleepovers for a kindergarten birthday party, and we did have some 3/4 year olds stay. The magic age seems to be around 6-7 for first borns/only. Younger children are usually ready even earlier because they are exposed to it. In the few massive birthday party sleepovers we've had (5 year old, 6 year old, and 7 year old), I've never had any issues with the children or had to call a parent in the middle of the night.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

My oldest is 10, and has never been on a sleepover. I don't believe in them. It just causes tired, cranky kids and tired, cranky parents. And as they get older (teen years) it's usually nothing but trouble. No thanks.

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers



answers from Washington DC on

I think these parents have no idea what they're asking for. These kids are too young -- this isn't sleeping over at some cousin's house they've slept at since they were tiny; it isn't even auntie's house; it's a stranger's house and the parents will end up calling folks to come pick up their overtired, over-excited or upset kids in the night.

Especially having a sleepover AFTER a party is just asking for over-sugared, over-excited kids who will end up in arguments with each other or wanting to go home. It also sets up kids to feel like "I didn't get to stay, why didn't I get to stay when other boys got to stay?!" for kids whose parents take them home after the party.

I would avoid the sleepover and prepare your son in advance for the idea that he is not sleeping over. If he's the type to get upset or angry when he leaves while others are staying (and the boys WILL discuss who is staying and who isn't), then have something distracting for him to do immediately after the party, even if it's just watching a video he hasn't seen in a while.

The sweet spot for sleepovers is different for each child so there is no magic age when things are dandy. In this case it's a well-meant but bad idea.

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Phoenix on

I just basically asked this same question a few posts down :-). DD is almost 7 and I'm still not sure if I'm quite there with the sleepover thing yet. She doesn't have any nighttime requirements, per se, but I guess I'm just paranoid. I think she'd love it and have fun, so it's all me worrying. I think girls may start younger than boys only because they're more social but I could be wrong. From the sound of it, I think your son sounds too young for a sleepover right now.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Topeka on

not gonna happen here I still attend the parties they get invited to..

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Portland on

I would not be comfortable with my kindergarten-aged son attending a sleepover with parents/classmates. He's done two sleepovers in his life, and they were both with adults that I had known for ten years or more who had concrete rules/bedtimes, etc.

When will he be ready? When I trust that he can have the good judgment to call home if something amiss is happening, can recognize the need and knows how to do it/feels comfortable asking to call home.

Were I in your position, I'd allow my child to attend the daytime/afternoon fun, and then we'd go home for our own bedtime in our own bed.

(I did sleepovers with non-family members at around 9 or so.)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

My 6 year old son has done sleepovers, but only at a friend's house 5 doors if he needed to come home, it was easily do-able. Same thing when my daughter was 6 - sleepovers were okay, just really close to home. Both have always done fine, but they've always been really good sleepers. One thing to think about is a "sleep under." (That's what we call it anyway.) He'd be able to go to the birthday party, even get in to jammies, brush teeth, etc....and then come home. That way he'd participate in everything but the actual sleeping. We've done this over the years with several of our kids' friends that weren't ready for sleeping over.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Salinas on

It really depends on the kid. The first sleepovers when they were as young as your son were with close family friends or our best friend/neighbors who lived one house down. While my girls have never had an issue we know some kids who even at 10 or 11 can't make it through the night. I think it has to do with personality, maturity and confidence. Some are just too shy to feel comfortable and if it's not fun why do it, you'll know if he's ready.

Some of these responses are so negative. What's the big deal? If you let your kids spend the day with another family why not the night? I'm with TF, we usually have the kids come to our house but when they don't, spending the night at other homes is a great way for them to appreciate their own house and family. It's good for kids to experience how different families live. I think spending the night with another family once in a while helps them to be confident, independent and appreciative of what they have.

Not to mention sleepovers are a whole lot of FUN!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

Kinder is young but not out of the question in my mind. I don't think I'd do it for a child like yours, who has never really slept away from home and wakes up every night, even in his own bed. I'd send him to the party for the fun of the evening, and pick him up around 9 or 10 (ask the mom when she plans to have them start winding down the fun). For a kid who is used to sleeping elsewhere (both my kindergartener and my two year old sleep at their grandparents a couple of times a month at least) and who doesn't wake in the night, I think kinder is a fine age. My son hasn't slept over at a friend's house yet, but I wouldn't be opposed to it if the opportunity came up.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dover on

It depends on the child and where they are sleeping over. Every kid is different and also may react differently depending on their comfort level with where they are sleeping over.

Even when I was old enough and wanted to I was NEVER allowed to sleep over except at my aunt's or grandmother's home. I lived with my other aunt and she was super over-protective. My son and his best friend both tried sleepovers when they were in like 1st or 2nd grade. Both ended up going home after bedtime. My son did spend the night with a few family members but never really anywhere else until he was in high school (but he did go camping w/ the Scouts often). My daughter is 6 and has not spent the night anywhere yet whereas my nephew (same age) does often...we work full time and try not to be without our girl when off whereas my sister has no qualms with leaving her son.



answers from San Francisco on

My kids did it starting in preschool. If your kid wants to try it and the other mom is okay with the possibility of him waking up, give it a try.



answers from Los Angeles on

I think that's too young.
I'd wait until your child is 8 or 9 or 10.


answers from Miami on

It really depends on the child.... Mine started early. My son was 4 when he slept over our neighbors house. He's been doing them ever since. (All of our neighbors, are also our friends).... I wouldn't just let him sleep over at a boys house from school. I have to know both the mom and dad before that happens. :)


answers from Norfolk on

Some kids can sleep over well at this age and other's can't.
Most are still wearing pullups at night and have issues about wetting the bed.
Others need to be in their own bed and want their usual bedtime routine.
What a lot of people do for this age is an almost overnight - where parents come to pick the kids up late around bedtime.
My son didn't sleep over anywhere until he was in 4th grade (about 9 yrs old) and then it was a lock in at taekwondo with plenty of adult supervision.
He's never slept over at anyone elses house and he's never wanted to.



answers from Atlanta on

You have the answers here already. But imo that is way to young to even consider it. It's kinda crazy for a parent to even have a sleepover at this age. You don't really know what people are like when you're not around and it can give undue stress for the child even if they don't openly express it.

I'd have him go to the party without sleeping there.

As for what age does this begin, well, I guess it's a bit different for different kids but certainly not under the age of 9. For me it really depends who the sleepover is with. My oldest started when she was 12 or so, but she had a good friend and I knew her mother. It was the same for my youongest. The other 2 were even older.



answers from Boston on

About 7 where we are and only if the child has done a few play dates at the house and feels comfortable. He doesn't sounds ready, maybe a friend could stay at your house first?



answers from Oklahoma City on

I'd let him go and then see if he wants to stay after the party. He could decide he doesn't want to go or he could stay and do fine. He might even wake up in the middle of the night and want to go home.

Play it by ear. Our boy often wakes up and wanders in to get in bed with us. That's okay with me, I'd rather snuggle up and cuddle sleep. But when he's gone to friends or a sleep over at the gym he's slept all night each time because he was worn out from playing.


answers from Grand Forks on

My older son went on a two night camping trip with his friends family when he was four. My younger son started going on sleepovers in kindergarten. They were even younger when they started sleepovers at the homes of my friends. I've never had any reason to distrust any of my kids friends families, and my children were comfortable with sleeping away from home.

If your son has problems sleeping I would wait until he has gotten over them before starting sleepovers.


answers from Washington DC on

I think 6 is still too young. My kids are 5 and 8 and they still have not had a sleepover at a friends house. My son (5) has only been away from us 1 night only and he stayed at my SIL's house and had a great time! But at a friends house, I don't think he is ready. My daughter who is 8 has only been away a couple nights. Once when my son was born she stayed at grandma's for 2 nights, and then she also went to my SIL's house. Never before at a friends house yet. I would let her if I knew the parents really well and they knew all about her allergy issues. So far I am not comfortable with anyone yet. Maybe when we get to know more people and become good friends.



answers from Washington DC on

Every kid is different. I think my boy was four when he had his first sleepover, but it was with his favorite friend and a family that we know really well. Then two of the boys in that family slept over at our house a few weeks later. I believe the younger one was three. It went great. I might not have been as comfortable if his first sleepover was with a classmate whose family I don't know very well, though.


answers from San Francisco on

How does your son feel about it?
My kids started doing sleepovers with friends at around 8 years old, 2nd grade or so. There were a few invites when they were younger but they didn't want to go. There were other kids who did sleepovers as early as kindergarten. I don't think there's a magic age, because every child is different (and some are NEVER comfortable sleeping away from home) but I do think a certain level of maturity needs to be there.
Talk to your son about it. I would probably encourage him to go and take his PJs and stuff, and maybe you can see how it goes and play it by ear. He may have a blast!


answers from Dallas on

You can always play it by ear and pick him up late.

My daughter was sleeping over y age 5 with close friends. Now, we have a close knit community, good friends, etc.

She is 18 now and most of the time, the children have opted to sleepover at our house.. It is just easier.. 1 child, she has the entire 2nd floor to herself, everyone has a bed, etc. She found by sleeping over at other houses to see another family dynamic at work. She told us several times how she appreciates her house and her bed.

Good luck!

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions