Kindergardner Misbehaving!!

PLEASE don't use what he's seen on TV as an excuse. My kids were all exposed to things on TV and through video games that were rude and inappropriate, sometimes scary and violent as well, from a younger age than I would care to admit, and I NEVER got a call from school reporting such blatant disrespect from any of my three kids. Did they back talk to me and my husband sometimes? Sure, but never another adult.
The fact that he spoke to an authority figure like that is a sign that he hasn't been taught to respect outside adults/authority figures. Did he go to preschool or day care? Did he respect those caregivers?
I don't believe in double punishment. The school is punishing him for something he did at school, which is fair and appropriate. But I DO think you need a serious sit down talk with him. Ask him why he thought it was okay for him to speak to a teacher like that, and make sure he understands that all of the adults at school are to be treated with the SAME respect he shows you and dad at home. Period.

Was this out of character? Assumning this is not a trend or how he generally acts, I am not sure I would punish him. I would have a serious heart to heart about it and make sure Dad does the same.

I also would make him write an apology to the teacher. You could copy his dictation and let him trace your words with a marker if he can't write well yet. Then I would march him into school early and make him deliver it and apologize in person. Full blown "I am sorry for..." and "Next time I am frustrated I will..."

I think the school punished him enough, assumning of course he does not act like this in general. I would make your talk with him and the note writing as slow and tedious as possible, but I don't think I would additionally punish. I think the outcome would be better if he learns how he should act and how embarrassed he should feel rather than being punative.

Wow... what a hard start.

I'm really in disagreement with people who suggest that the school punishment was 'enough'. A sincere, face to face apology is necessary, if only for *you* to build trust with that teacher so that she knows you aren't going to brush it off. Many people sweep their child's actions aside, claim that kids will be kids. Yes, they will be children, however, if we set reasonable expectations for them and give them good guidance, they will do better because it is expected. So-- if it were me, apology, no tv/media games for the rest of the week. This may not be convenient, however, he needs to learn that when he threatens someone in authority, it is not a joke, not something that we brush off-- that he is in BIG trouble. This is serious.

As a preschool teacher, I would have had the child picked up immediately or suspended from school the following day for making such a threat to me. Could a child hurt me? In reality, I have been hurt by children, usually on accident. So while the reality is that it isn't likely (perhaps) that your son could have hurt that teacher, is it *more important* for the child to understand that threatening someone with bodily harm is completely unacceptable, as you wrote? Absolutely. (And read my previous posts-- I am NOT a 'bring the hammer down' sort of parent. But this is so serious...)

It's time for a family meeting and laying down the law about what is and is not appropriate. Your SO/husband NEEDS to be made aware of what's happening, and all the kids must follow your house rules. Make a list of approved viewing and if that list is strayed from, then ZERO television privileges. (TV is a privilege, not a right, as far as I'm concerned.)

That said,your kindergartener also needs some reinforcement from you that NO MATTER WHAT he hears, if he knows it is wrong, hurtful or mean, he is responsible NOT to say those things. You are putting a bit of this on your stepchildren, however, the fact of the matter was that your son *did* use this as a threat, which leads me to believe that he did know what he was saying and directly challenging the recess teacher's authority instead of cooperating. That he made the choice to do this cannot be pinned on anyone else but him. Your whole family needs to have a rule that threatening is never, ever okay.

He is already being punished at school. I would have a real good talk with him about it at home, but I dont believe it makes sense at this age to punish at home for what they did at school, since the behaviour has already been punished at school (as they get older my opinion on this changes). How would you like to go home and get reamed for something stupid you said at work 7 hours earlier that your boss already reamed you for right? ;) They just dont have full impulse control at 5, and I am sure he just was mad and blurted something out. Not that its OK for him to say, but no need to make it a bigger deal than it needs to be anyway. I think a discussion about why that is not an appropriate thing for him to say, along with discussing how he felt about his punishment at school is enough.

Regarding the half sibs - your house, your rules. If they won't cooperate with you on monitoring what they watch in front of him, put parental restrictions on the cable box so they can only access what you approve.