Kinda Scared,no, More annoyed....and Then Scared.

Updated on September 08, 2011
E.B. asks from Tacoma, WA
11 answers

So, we got back from our weekend out, late Monday night.

We live in an area with a slightly rapid growing gang population.

One of the house's a few house's down and across the street has several older children that are involved in some of this gang activity. We know the family only sort of well. Our next door neighbor at one time was one of her sons. and they had four kids. One of which baby sits for me now and then. Just to give you a little background on how we know each other. I know the ''Nanny'' who is grandma to the younger kids, she is the one who owns the house..so her older kids just come and go often. There are like seven older kids altogether.

Yesterday, after coming home from getting my oldest from school, I was approached by a Fed. Way Police officer. He had pulled into my across the street neighbors drive way. He tucked me behind the car and started asking me about one of the sons. They had tried to stop him yesterday and he eluded the police for a very long time and finally got away. I was shown a photo and could identify him. He rides this crazy Harley and has a biker gang come through at a hundred miles an hour three times a day...So, when the cop told me he had Felony Warrants out for his arrest it didnt surprise me.

The Police Offr. gave me his card with his cell number on it and told me to call him or 9-11 immediately, if we see him show up.

I know we have watch like half of them get arrested right out in the middle of the afternoon, so police activity is nothing new for us.

Here is where the SCARED part comes in....Grandma is a sweet heart. These sons of her's are not. Even the son that was next door to me was doing time while they lived there. Nice guy bad choices.

I know these guys are not afraid to use force and probably have guns.

I fear being the Rat in this situations. What retaliation will look like.

Everything is done nameless. Or so I was told. But what if some one saw me talking to the cops? What if my son mentions to one of the grand kids that mommy spoke to an officer?

I spoke with my OTHER next door neighbor last night. The Cops had come by earlier on Monday after he got away from them, and done a round on the block....I dont think they understand what us talking could mean for our families...

This truly blows right now. I hate knowing this is something I cant really take lightly. I hate knowing that the thing I have to do, could mean something horrible in return.

What would you do in this situation??

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

We have not had a shooting drive by situation near where I am. Close....but like five blocks north of me.

We do however have them drive by in big groups....and these groups are not nice looking.

My older kiddo saw me speaking to him. I said nothing to him when he asked what I was doing with him...just told him I had a question.

THE HAVE ARRESTED HIM. THIS MORNING. RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY. I DIDNT HAVE TO CALL THEY GOT UM. THANK GO AND LETS HOPE THIS CAN BE THE START OF SOMETHING BETTER??

Featured Answers

T.N.

answers from Albany on

I'm sorry Libs, I would totally call if I saw him, even with consideration to everything you've said here. A yucky spot to be in, but you know it's the right thing to do.

Be careful girl.

:(

6 moms found this helpful

More Answers

G.T.

answers from Redding on

Just remember that when good people do nothing- bad things happen.
Trust that you will go unnamed, and you probably arent the only one in the neighborhood that has been talked to and asked to call in if the perp is seen.
It's hard, I know.
An anonymous call to the sheriffs office might be less intrusive than calling the detective named on the card. That would bring a sheriff out to do a routine "drive by", which you said is fairly common in your hood anyway, right?
Don't be afraid to do the right thing, ever.

10 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Libby:

If you cannot afford to move out of the neighborhood, the best thing you can do is OPSEC - Operational Security - knowing your surroundings...cars that are "new" to the area - cars that don't belong....

Start a Neighborhood Watch group - talk to the police and find out how to get it started, how they back you up and when and where they place the signs...does this make you a nosy neighbor? No, it makes you a CONCERNED neighbor....drugs and gangs start up and succeed when the neighborhood turns the other cheek and is afraid to stand up and say NO...it's not easy...but you need to protect your family.

keep bushes away from windows and doors...make sure you have outside lights that are motion sensored, make sure if you have a fenced in yard that it is locked from the inside (if it's a tall gate), ensure your locks for your home are secure, ask the police to come by and do a security inspection - with gang activity - they should do it - get an alarm system put in the house - doors, widows, etc. yes - even on the second floor...

DO NOT ACT AFRAID - I know, easier said than done - but like with animals - they can smell fear and act on it. When you walk around the block, walk with your head up. Straight back - take martial arts training - it's a GREAT work out and wonderful for more than just self-defense!!!

GOOD LUCK!!!

6 moms found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Provo on

If they saw you talking to the officer, then that damage is already done. If he gets arrested and finds out there was a civilian tip that led to his arrest you are already on his radar.
Step up. Be the good citizen and call 911 when you see him. Without good citizens helping law enforcement, our streets will only get worse. This really is your chance to help make your streets safer.

5 moms found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Libby, I would call and keep it completely to myself.
I'm sure they talked to & left cards with everyone else on your street as well.
Your son is not going to notice you making a 10 second phone call to the detective/officer.
I understand the whole good guy/bad choices...but this is your neighborhood. Where YOU live. Where your kids live. You want it to be safe, right?
Is it going to change this guys life for the better and/or straighten him out? Who knows, but how would you feel if something REALLY bad happened after you did NOT report him?
These matters are best left to the authorities, and sometimes they need a pair of eyes out there.
Good luck!

5 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

Call the police if he shows up. Bottom line, you don't want this man around your children. Who cares if grandma is a sweetheart- they don't want to arrest her.

In the meantime, I wouldn't allow my children to play outside at all without my supervision. You've already confirmed with the neighbor that the police have probably spoken to everyone on the block. When you call, there's a good chance that you won't be the only one.

If you are this fearful for your family, you need to get out of there. It doesn't sound like a safe environment for your children. I know that is easier "said than done", but really?

No such thing as "nice guy- bad choices"... when that person(s) repeatedly makes bad choices.

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

I know the resolution occurred and the guy was caught, but if I were in the same situation you were in and had to consider calling 911 or the Feds on someone who sounds so dangerous, you're damn straight I would make that call. That's how you protect your family... getting the dangerous criminals off the street and not protecting them. I would far rather protect my children by making a phone call than protecting the criminal by saying nothing.

I would never simply assume that someone else is making the call. That's such irresponsible thinking. "Oh yeah, I'll let someone else handle it. Someone else is definitely handling it. I won't get involved." Right. Everyone else is thinking the same thing. And it's exactly why petty criminals get away with things and move on up to bigger crimes and become worse. And it's why dangerous criminals keep on committing crimes. No one wants to be a snitch.

3 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Wow tough situation. If I were you, I think I would call but I would make sure to call from a pay phone far away from the neighborhood with no witnesses (def not your kids who might accidentally rat you out) so the secret that you are the one who talked is with you and you alone. My husband used to be a cop and one of his cop buddies used to live in a nice neighborhood until a group of nazis moved in the neighborhood. He had FBI coming to him in a UPS truck/uniform to ask him to rat them out and he wanted to but out of fear for his family, he didn't. Just food for thought.

3 moms found this helpful

R.D.

answers from Richmond on

You're very aware of your surroundings, which is the best preventative measure you could take short of moving out of the area. We lived in the city a few years ago, where you could literally walk 2 blocks one way and have historical monuments and churches, then 2 blocks the other way and be deep in the ghetto.

If I were you, I'd speak with the officer and agree to inform them, but tell them what you told us; that you're scared of retaliation and request extra protection in your neighborhood for a while.

3 moms found this helpful

F.H.

answers from Phoenix on

I know everyone is saying to call the cops if you see him, but if it were me, I don't think I would. If the police are as involved as it looks like they are, then they have contacted all the neighbors and chances are, one of them will call instead of it having to be you. I would be more concerned with my family safety and protecting my property from being vandalized because I was the one that called. Especially if you own your home and are not likely to move any time soon. You will be neighbors with these people for a LONG time so I would just leave it as it is. And I would maybe even mention to grandma and the son that the cops are hot in the area and maybe word will get out and the gang will move to another place and will clear out...who knows? That would be the best thing I would think. Anyway, just my opinion, good luck.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Seattle on

Mind your business, I've only seen good people get hurt in these situations by trying to help.

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