Kids Wont Stop Fighting

Updated on March 31, 2007
S.L. asks from Newark, DE
6 answers

I know kids are supposed to fight sometimes its part of growing up but my kids take it a bit to far they kick bite punch litarley get into fist fights hit each other with toys its nuts can anyone help give me ideas to get them to stop okay I wrrote the first part in a hurry late last night so heres the rest they fight over absoulty everything form what color cup they will get which if they fight over one nethier one will get that color and mommy picks the color you get they also fight over what cloths the other will wear which of coarse I tell them not to worry about what the other wears to worry about what their putting on they fight over stuff thats happening on tv one says something the other will say no just to start an argument they fight over the bathroom even though there are two availble to use they love each other I be sure to let them know that in the end each other is all they got and all its the fighting is getting worse as they get older they both are due to start school the end of the year I do arts and crafts play board games and all with them which curbs the behavior some but not completley starting the game is horrible they fight over what peice they get or what color they get and then the end of the game is even worse especially if one of the kids wins and the other dosent even arts and crafts arent completley fight free they both want to use the glue first or use that peticular color first even though we have two of everything sometimes more in the craft box they are never quiet they dont sit still any help would be great on suggestions to curb the fighting I know it wont stop completley but to get them to get along for more then a few minutes without argueing screaming or hitting one another would make my day go alot easier

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answers from York on

Hi S.,
I have a 5 1/2 and a 4 yr old, both boys, and they fight a lot too. My youngest is actually the tougher one, but he can also take it better too. I hate it too! I seperate them when it gets out of control. Literaly, I make one go their room and one go outside or downstairs or somewhere else. It works for my two, because even thought they fight they are best friends and hate to be apart. I tell them that it is not acceptable to TRY and hurt someone else. We reiterate the "do unto others" motto and we make them say they are sorry to each other and then seperate them for awhile. They cool down and get distracted and it ususally work for awhile (: You didn't mention if your two "like" each other, so I don't know if that will work or not, you might just be teaching them to ignore each other which isn't good either, but it is something to try anyway. Good luck and I understand your pain, you aren't alone! A.



answers from Reading on

Hi S. i agree with the holding hands. I have tried this. I have four children (12,9,6,3) and a stepson and goddaughter(16,18) that live with me. i am also a daycare provider for about 12 years. I have had this issue frequently. Try to have a regular schedule with them, When they hit one another time out everytime. Be consistent and dont ever let them see you getting upset over their fighting. Everytime they hit they sit automatically. 5 minutes for your son and 3 for your daughter. Try to get him and her involved in activities outside the house maybe him in acrobats and her dance.That way they have sometime away from each other. good luck i know how frustrating this can be.. but it will get better they will not like to sit. You can also try a chart this has worked well in my house. If they get some many stickers we get a day of fun museum, planterium, park etc... If one has enough and the other doesnt they dont get to go. Only the one who has enough can go. steph



answers from Philadelphia on

Hi S.,

Mayebe u need to get the super nanny,(LOL), Seriously now
youneed to try to correct this now, before they get older and you can't control them. Did you try to stop them right away before it gets out of control, you need to be stern with them and tell them u will not tolerate it. Or seek some help from a behavior specalist on how to handle this situation. I'm a crossing guard and I see some of these children fight at school and I can't believe how these children fight, they fight to hurt somebody and that is very scary. Hope things work out for u.



answers from York on

I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I have two boys -Jacob is 3.5 years old, and Mikey is 2. They constantly fight. I have to pull them off each other many times each day. They hit, kick, bite, push, yank, etc. They're always fighting over toys, or who has what. It really get's exhausting! Whatever they fight over get's taken away and no one get's it. If the fighting get's to be too much and I don't want to deal with it anymore, then they both have to go play in their seperate rooms for awhile. So there's no real advice, but we're right there with you!



answers from Reading on

My girls were fighting constantly when my mother-in-law gave me a suggestion that worked with her kids - make them sit on the sofa quietly and hold hands for a specified period of time. I thought "Yeah, right." Well, it worked for me. My girls hate it when I ask if they need to hold hands. They have to sit there quietly and hold hands, no punching, pinching, hitting, etc or they have to sit there longer. I think this gives them enough of a break in the fight that they forget the original cause. Afterward, they either are the best of friends or stay out of each other's way. They are almost 5 and 2.5 yrs old.

Best of luck,



answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't have any advice. All i can say is my two (4 and 1/2 and 3) fight all the time. It is seriously WWIII up in my house. If you find any secrets on how to keep them from fighting please let me know. My two are horrible and fighting constantly. The only peace and quiet i get is when they are in bed. I fought with my brothers and sisters but this is worse than what we fought like.

I tell them look I asked you to stop if you dont and get hurt don't come crying to me. Which is what they do. It drives me nuts. I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I feel your pain.

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