Kids Learning to Button and Tie Shoes

That's why there is Velcro, and elastic. It's no big deal, just make life easier for both of you. There is no competition for buttoning and tying. Last year was the first year my daughter would wear jeans. This year is the first year she's had sneakers with ties and not velcro. She's 10.

Difficulty doing pants at this age isn't all that common. He may have an issue with fine and/or gross motor control. He can be evaluated by an occupational therapist to determine and to help identify whether professional treatment is necessary. It's amazing how much an occupational therapist can assist .

I have on child who is a lefty so teaching him to tie his shoes was a real struggle for me. (he's 35 now)

But as others have said it is all about fine muscle control. As is coloring, printing and later cursive writing. If his coloring is all over the place and his writing tells you he will be a doctor when he grows up, this is a fine muscle control issue.

Have him color pictures, string beads, cut pictures out of magizines and store flyers and if you can handle play dough in your house have him make stuff with play dough. All of these activities will help with fine muscle control.

I tried and tried to teach our daughter how to tie her shoes.. never could teach her.. Then one day she came home and told me Patrick at school taught her how to tie her shoes!! Thank you Patrick! Maybe have a friend come over to work with him.
Just have him practice. while he is watching TV..

The button deal, again have him practice. when our daughter was 5, I realize i had neglected having her work on her "fine motor skills'.

So we had her,hang and then button all of the shirts that came our of the dryer.
All of the jeans, we had her zip and button them also. Then use clothes pins to hang them on hangers.

I gave her clothes pins, to use to pick up and move things.. She was only to use her pointer finger and her thumb. It was fun t see what she could carry, even we would play this game. Paper, magazines, pens, toys. towels..

I had her separate the coins out of piggy banks, Then had her stack them in plies. Only using her thumb and forefinger.

I had her connect all of the paper clips together to make them into a long chain.

I had her roll out little balls of playdough, using only her thumb and forefinger and line them all up. Then I would have her quickly mash each one only using her forefinger. We would race to see who could do this the fastest.

He just needs to build up and get used to using his fingers for these tasks.. Then he will have some strength in his hands and fingers to do these things.

I even find some pants to have a stubborn buttonhole or short shank on the button which makes the fastening or unfastening of them to be difficult. I suggest you put them on him and watch as he tries to fasten and unfasten them. He may just not have the small muscle coordination to do this yet. It may also be that the buttonhole was just not completely cut open. If so just take a tiny pair of scissors and cut a few threads at a time until he can manage it. Don't go through the threads at the end and don't make it bigger if the button fits easily. They won't stay fastened if the hole is made too big.

I have never been able to teach my kids to tie their shoes. It's a mommy flaw in me I guess, cause the only way they have every learned is other people taking the time to show them.

As for buttoning pants. I think that just comes in time, if he doesn't like it then sweats and stuff is fine.

My son is 6.
He has trouble with buttons on jeans.
I buy him elastic waist pants.
All the other boys in his class, have those too.
No biggie.
He can't tie his shoes in a bow either.
Fine.
My daughter didn't know how to tie her laces in a bow at that age either.
No biggie.
When my daughter was about 8, she got the coordination to tie her shoes.
But they prefer, Velcro shoes. Or I get them those curly springy shoe laces that do not have to be tied.
Lots of kids have that too.
No biggie.

Your son, IS NOT unusual.
Just buy, what your son is able to do and is comfortable in.
Pants, do not 'have to be' button or tie types.
My son has elastic waist pants.
And so do MANY other boys and girls.
I know, I work at my kids' school.

I only buy, pants/shoes that my kids can do, per their fine motor skills and stage.
Old navy has all kinds of elastic pants and it is not "baby" pants at all.
That is where I get my son's pants.
And from Payless shoes, I get those springy curly shoe laces. Or the Velcro shoes. So easy. No battles.

My daughter is 9. And so many of her pants... are just pull on types or jeggings, elastic waist. They are not all jeans with buttons or ties. And this is not uncommon. It is just the style of pants that they have and it is fully of their age and fashion. My daughter, hates buttons.

It used to be a rule that kids going to kindergarten had to know how to tie shoes and button buttons for just these reasons. My mother-in-law was appalled that mine in second grade still had trouble tying. We just never had much need to, since our shoes have always been slip on or velcro. So while it's perfectly possible for kids to know how to do these things, our culture today demands it less. Just practice every day and he'll get there in his own time.

I have a 3 year old but recall my older two learned with dolls that had buttons, zippers, snaps, laces...and I found one on Amazon I got him for Christmas. Right now for preschool I adjust the waist so he can pull them up and down without unbuttoning on the ones without elastic. Crazy 8 sells them with adjustable waists, as does Children's Place and other stores, like the ones Marda mentioned.

For tying I also found Alex Toys Little Hands, One, Two, Tie My Shoe on Amazon because his teacher says tying and trying to tie help develop fine motor skills. A review on these says a teacher used them in her first grade class so I don't think they'd be too babyish for your son. I would just set aside a certain amount of time each day for him to work on mastering the skills until they're second nature to him :)

My grandson, at 9, still rarely buttons or unbuttons his pants. They are jeans with an adjustable waist. They have an elastic that can be shortened by being buttoned on the inside of the waist. This gives him enough stretch that he can pull his pants on and off.

He has tie shoes this year and just doesn't tie them. The shoelaces are short and the shoes fit snuggly without being tied. He has also used the elastic curly laces that are especially so that one doesn't have to (can't) tie them.

I have trouble with buttoning some kids pants! We tried on 4 pairs of jeans today and the buttons where almost impossible for an adult to do... I don't know if it's just shoddy manufacturing or what...
You can make the button-hole a little bigger and see if that helps.
As for tying shoes, I clearly remember learning it in Kindergarten - we all practiced together ... of course vlcro shoes were not all that common back then and kids simply had to learn it earlier...
Have him practice with real laces, not with a robe belt, that is just too bgg and makes things more complicated for him to learn.
It is all about practice, practice, practice!

It's ok, you just have to find ways around it. Elastic, velcro and in the meantime teach him, with no pressure or rush to have to do it. He'll get it eventually, be patient.

glad i'm not the only one! lol!

they have never been a big priority. i do regret it since i found out the other day that he won't poop at school, if he's wearing pants with buttons, he will pee through the zipper (oh that's great!) and wait to poop till he gets home because he can't work the button :(

i suppose it's on my "to do" list....

I still buy velcro shoes for my 9 year old. He learned to tie about 6 months ago but it looks a mess and comes ondone and gets tangled etc. Much easier to let him have velcro.

I would just get him pants that are elastic. Sucks to waste money on clothes that will not be worn, but it's a iive and learn situation.

Yup. My 7 year old has the exact same problems. I wouldn't force him to put on the pants. My older one had pants once that he couldn't unbutton himself when he was in K. He had to rush to the bathroom and was unable to open the pants and by then he couldn't hold it in anymore and ended up peeing in his pants. Not a good thing to happen in Kindergarten!

Both boys took forever to learn how to tie shoes. My 7 year old still doesn't know how and my older one eventually taught himself. I tried to teach him when he was younger but he always got angry and frustrated. My mother-in-law said to me "how hard can it be" and offered to teach him. The result was the exact same; Son was frustrated, granny was angry and he still didn't know how to tie his shoes. We basically just gave up and eventually he was able to tie them anyway.

Yes boys take longer.